SOUTH PARK1208.docx

SOUTH PARK1208.docx

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SOUTHPARK1208

SOUTHPARK

s12e08-THECHINAPROBLEM

"SOUTHPARK"andotherrelatedentitiesareowned,（TM）and?

byTREYPARKER&MATTSTONEviaCOMEDYCENTRALandCOMEDYPARTNERSinassociationwithIMPORTANTTELEVISION.Thistranscriptispostedherewithouttheirpermission,approval,authorizationorendorsement.Anyreproduction,duplication,distributionordisplayofthismaterialinanyformorbyanymeansisexpresslyprohibited.Itisabsolutelyforbiddentouseitforcommercialgain.Forentertainmentandeducationalpurposesonly.Noinfringementintended.

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SUMMARY:

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CartmanseemstobetheonlypersonawareofthegatheringthreattheChineseposetotheUnitedStates.AfterwatchingtheintimidatingopeningceremoniesoftherecentOlympicgames,CartmanunderstandsthattheChineseareonlyjustdaysawayfrominvadinghishomeland.WhiletherestoftheAmericanpeoplearehauntedbythememoryofarecenttragicevent,onlyButterswillstandwithCartmanasheconfrontstheChinese.

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TRANSCRIPT:

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[TheBeijingOlympicsOpeningCeremonies.TheflagofthePeople'sRepublicofChinaflapsovertheBird'sNest,akatheNationalStadium]

Announcer:

WelcometothetelevisedbroadcastoftheOlympicOpeningCeremoniesfromBeijing.[fireworksenterthestadiumandthedrumrollbegins.Thedrummersarebentovertheirdrumsaslightsinthedrumsflashonandoff]ThousandsofChineseperformersplayingancientChinesedrums.[therollendsinawaveofdrummersstandingupstraightandnotdrumming]Theprecisionoftheirmovementsmadeevenmoreimpressivebytheirmassivenumbers.[allthedrummersstriketheirdrumsatonceandthelightdisplayresumes]

[Cartman'sroom,night.Cartmanisn'thavingapeacefuldream]

Cartman:

[dreamingaboutbeingattheOpeningCeremonies]No!

TheChinese,no!

Somebodyhastostopthem!

[Thestadiumlightscomeupandthedrummersresumetheirdrumming.Cartmanisgettingrestless]No!

No!

Liane:

[knocksonhisdoor]Eric?

Sweetie,areyouhavingnightmaresabouttheChineseagain?

Cartman:

[talkinginhissleep]They'regonna...takeovertheworld!

HAA!

[Thedrummersstartupagain]Toomanyofthem.[Cartmannowdreamsofwalkingamongthedrummers]No!

Leaveusalone!

[Thedrummersstrikesolidlyontheirdrums,andCartmannowfindshimselfbouncingonthedrumsastheyriseandfallunderhim]Nooo!

[FourdifferentgroupsofChineseOlympianssurroundhim.Cartmanwakesfromhisnightmareandcheckshisfacetobesurehe'snotdreaming]DAMNITno!

No!

Liane:

[quicklyenterstheroom,turnsonthelightandcomestohisside]Sweetiekins,areyouallright?

Cartman:

Mom.Mom,theChinesearegonnagetme.

Liane:

[cnosoleshim]No,sweetie,theChinesearen'tgoingtogetyou.

Cartman:

[sobbing]Theyareso!

There'stwomillionofthemandtheireconomyisgettingbetterandwithalltheiradvancesintechnologythey'regonnabringdownAmerica.

[Thebusstop,day.Stan,Kyle,andKennyawaitthebus.CartmanwalksupandstandsbetweenKyleandKenny.]

Cartman:

[beingserious]Allright.Guys,weneedtotalk.[noresponsefromtheotherthree]Youknow,uhwecanallpretend...thatwedidn'tseethoseopeningceremoniesbut,theChinese...areveryreal.We'vegottadosomething.[theotherboysstaysilent]ArewejustgonnapretendAmericaisgoingtobeokay?

Arewejustgoingto...waituntilthey'vetakenovertheworld?

Kyle:

[stepsforward,awayfromtheothers]I'msorry.[holdshispalmsupandout,thenshakesthemasiftoholdoffsomething]II'msorry,Iiican'tdothis.[thenlowersthem]I'mnotdoingthis.[walksofftohisright]

Stan:

[stopsKyleinhistracksjustbysaying]Kyle,you'resupposedtotellCartmanhe'sbeingracistorsomething?

Kyle:

Yeahhe'sanidiotbutuhI'msorry,Ijust...Ican'tdothisanymore,okay?

I...Ican'tdothisanymore!

[walksaway.Theotherboyslookathim,Stanabitshocked]

Kenny:

（Damn.）

[Kyle'sroom,momentslater.Kyleisathisdeskmoping,hisarmscrossedandhisfaceburiedinthem.Someoneknockstwice,thenopensthedoor.It'sStan.]

Stan:

Kyle.[Kyledoesn'treply.Stansighs,closesthedoorandapproacheshim]Kyle,youcan'tkeepdoingthis.Youknowwhat,atsomepoint,youyou'vegottoletthisgo.

Kyle:

Yeah?

Well...maybeyoucanforgetwhathappened,bitI...can't.

Stan:

Look,whathappened,happened.Wecan'tchangeitnow.Wehavetomoveon.

Kyle:

[leaveshisdeskangrilyandfacesStan]Moveon?

!

Ourfriendwasraped,Stan!

Hewasraped,andweallstoodthereanddid[takeshishands,putsthemsidebyside,andsweepsthemoutawayfromeachother]nothing!

Stan:

Therewasnothingwecoulddo,Kyle!

[Kylewalksaway.Stansayssoftly]Therewasnothingwecoulddo.Wehadtogetoutofthere.

Kyle:

[turnsaroundandfacesStan]Didwe?

!

Maybewecouldhavestoppedthem!

Stan:

How?

Kyle:

[turnsawayagian]Idreamaboutiteverynight.EverytimeIclosemyeyesIseeusjustrunningaway,runningwhiletheyray-rapehimoverandoveragain.[clencheshisfistsatthethoughtofit,thenloosensthegripsandturnsaround]Andbecausewedidnothing...theygotaway.

Stan:

Youcan'tkeeptorturingyourselflikethis,Kyle.Letit...go.

Kyle:

[wipessomethingfromhisforehead]I'm...glad...thatyouguyscanjustkeepliving.Idon'tthinkIcan.[walksoutoftheroom.Stanwatcheshimleave,thensighs]

Stan:

[putshishandsinhisjacketpockets]Goddamnit.

[Butters'bathroom.Buttersistakingabubblebathwitharubberduckyandatoysubmarine]

Butters:

LululuI'vegotsomespaceflight.Lululuspaceflightsseemold...Lululu-

Cartman:

[burstsintothebathroom,startlingButters]Thereyouare,Butters!

Butters:

Uhuh,Eric.

Cartman:

Butters,Ineedyourhelp.

Butters:

Notnow,Eric,I'mihI'mindecent.

Cartman:

TheChinesearegonnatakeusover,Butters!

Andwearetheonlypeoplewhoseemtocare!

Butters:

TheChinese?

Cartman:

Ihandedoutfliers,calledtogethermeetings,butit'slike...everyone'sturningablindeye.TheChinesearetakingovertheworldandnobody'sdoinganything!

It'suptoyouandme,Butters.WehavetostoptheChinesenow.

Butters:

Aw,Ican'tstoptheChinesetonight,Eric,uhI'msupposedtomakeamodelcarwithmydad.

Cartman:

Youdon'tgetitButters!

Ourlivesareabouttochange!

TheChineseoutnumberusamilliontoone.Andwhentheirarmygetshere,they'regonnakillyourparents!

Butters:

Whyaretheygonnakillmyparents?

Cartman:

BecausetheChinesehateAmericans!

That'swhyI'vestarted:

theAmericanLiberationFront.AgroupdedicatedtofreeingAmericanfromChinesetyranny.[withdetermination]Willyoujoinme?

Butters:

Idon'twantmyparentstodie.

Cartman:

[hopsontothestool]Soyou'lljointheAmericanLiberationFront?

!

Butters:

Whysure.

Cartman:

[cupsButters'righthandbetweenhisowntwohands]Youandme:

we'regoingtobethebravelittleboyswhofoughtback,Butters.Wearenotlettingthemtakeoverourcountry.FucktheChinese.

Butters:

Yeah,[poundshisleftfistintothewater]fuck'em.

[Kyle'sroom,night.He'sasleep]

Kyle:

No...No!

[he'shavinganightmare]No...

[Inthedream.Onlythevoicesareheardatfirst]

Kyle:

No,wait.No,wehavetostupthem!

They'rerapinghim.Rape!

Stan:

Let'sgetoutofhere!

Kyle:

Wecan'tjustleave!

Stan:

Comeon!

Kyle:

Awit'shorrible!

[wenowjointhedreamalreadyinprogress]

[ThesettingistheBijoutheater,day.Themovieplayingis"IndianaJonesandtheKingdomoftheCrystalSkull"]

Stan:

OhGod!

Kyle:

Somebodydosomething!

Clyde:

Whyaretheydoingthis?

!

[Insidethetheater.]

Kyle:

They'rejusttakingIndianaJonesandthey're...[blinkshard]they'rerapinghim!

[Stanquicklycovershiseyes]

Stan:

Ican'twatch!

[uncovershiseyesandrisesfromhisseat]Let'sgetoutofhereKyle!

[leaves.Kennyfollowshimoutoftherow,thenClyde,Butters,andJimmy.]

Kyle:

WhywouldSpielbergandLucasdothis?

!

Stan:

COMEONLET'SGO!

[grabsKylebytherighthandanddragshimout]

Kyle:

WHYARETHEYDOINGTHIIIS?

!

Stan:

JUSTRUN!

!

[thesixboysrunoutofthere.]

[Outsidethetheater.]

Clyde:

OhGod,whathavetheydone?

!

Stan:

Whyaliens?

Aliensdon'tbelonginanIndianaJonesmovie?

[Kylethrowsup]Comeondude!

There'snothingwecando!

Clyde:

[indespair]Whyyy?

Whyyy?

?

[Kennyrunsaroundisdisbelief]

Jimmy:

Wecan'thelphimnow.

Butters:

WellIthoughtitwasprettygood.

Stan:

Let'sjustgo,Let'sjustgo!

[grabsKyle'srighthandandpullshimawayfromthetheater]

Kyle:

[suddenlywakesup]NOO!

[sitsontheedgeofhisbed.]Noo.No.Awwh.[sobssoftlyinrelief]Awno...

[SouthPark,day.CartmanandButterswalkdownthestreetandapproachacorner.Cartmaniscarryingadufflebag]

Cartman:

AllrightButters,we'rehere.[setsthedufflebagdown]Areyouready?

Butters:

I'mscared,butIknowmycountryneedsme.

Cartman:

Thisisit,Butters.Wehavetobestrong.We'retakingdownthoseGoddamnedChineserightnow.[pointsatsomethingacrossthestreet-aP.F.Chang'sChinaBistro]Thingscouldgetuglyinthere,Butters.We'vegottoinflitrate,andfindouttheChineseinvasionplans.[opensthedufflebagandbeginstosearchthroughit]

Butters:

ButEric,wu-whywouldthe,Chinesetellustheirinvasionplans?

Cartman:

Becausewe'regoingtomakethemthink...we'reoneofthem.[pullsoutaChinesepeasanthat]Here,puttheseteethin!

[handshimsomebuckteeth]