小屁孩日记2.docx
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小屁孩日记2
小屁孩日记2
DairyofaWimpyKid2
MoreLameSeventhGraders
Greg:
Seventhgrades.Soundsalotbetterthansixthgraders.Rodrick:
ThisisaGregthing,Idon’tseewhyIhadtocome?
Mom:
Because,Rodrick,thisisafamilyeventandlikeornot,youarea
partofHeffleyfamily.
Dad:
Yes,andthatwealreadypaidforyourticket.
Host:
I’dliketogiveyouawarmwelcometoWestmore,seventhgraders!
Newyearschoolstarting!
Greg:
Hi,Rowley.
Rowley:
Greg.Oh,lookatthyAlacazam,Alaca…ZooWeeMama.
Greg:
Whatareyoudoing?
Rowley:
It’samagicwand.Youwanttoseeatrick?
Greg:
Onlyifthetrickistomakethethingdisappear.Putitinyourpocket.
Youdon’twanttogiveawayyourbesttricksinpublic.
Rowley:
So,howwasyoursummer?
Thatsoundsprettyrough.Greg:
TheonlygoodthinghappenedwasthatIfinallygotthecoldpast.Rowley:
Whodidyougiveitto?
Greg:
Thenewkid:
GerminPindel.
Children:
Kaastic!
Fregley:
Hey,guys.Anyoneforpizza?
Rowley:
Thanks,Fregley.
Fregley:
Youknow,Ican’tbelievepeople.Theyjustgetgoodfoodlying
around.Iwillsavethat…forlater.
Greg:
Let’sskate.
Teen:
Oh,dorkalert.
Greg:
Rowley,don’tjustpullingmedown.Whoisthat?
Chirag:
HernameisHollyHills.Shejustmovedhere.Greg:
Whatgradesheis?
Chirag:
Seven.SheisanAll-starsoccerplayer,hasdoneprofessional
modellingandwasasixthgradeclasspresident.Shemovedherefrom
Oregonbecauseherfathergotabigpromotion.Theydriveahybrid
SUV,liveonthenorthsideofthetown…inacul-de-sacnearapark.
What?
Igoogledher.Sheisapictureofloveliness,isn’tshe?
Rowley:
Sheisalmostasprettyasmymom.
Chirag:
Sheisgoingtobeverypopular.
Greg:
Please,everyone,sitdown.Wehaveourseats.
Holly:
Excuseme.
Greg:
What?
1
Holly:
Isaid:
Excuseme.Youareblockingtheexit.
Greg:
Sorry.
Holly:
That’sokay.
Chirag:
IamChiragGuptaandI’msingle.
Holly:
Mynameis…
Chirag:
Weknowexactlywhoyouare.HollyHillsof432EmburyLane.Greg:
No,wedonotknowyouare.We’venoideawhoyouare.
Holly:
Ok,well,IthinkI’mgonnagoskatingnow.
Chirag:
Pleasecongratulateyourfatheronhispromotionforme…
Greg:
“Weknowexactlywhoyouare?
”Youtryingtoscareher?
Chirag:
Doesn’treallymatter.Agirllikethatisoutofyourleagueanyway,
Greg.
Greg:
She’snew.Sheisnotanyone’sleagueyet.Shedoesnotknowthe
socialpackingwere.Ifthereiseveratimeformetomakeamove,it’s
now.
Rodrick:
Hey,Greg,youbreakalegorsomething,sowecanleave.That
willneverhappen.Notachance.Thereisnowaythatgirlwillevertalk
toyou.
Greg:
Oh,yeah,well,Ijusttalkedherandweprobablystakinglater.Rodrick:
Really?
Ok.Seethatclock?
Theyplayslowsongatthetopofevery
hourforcoupleskate.Ifyouaresoconfident…askhertoskate.
Greg:
MaybeIwill.
Rodrick:
What’reyouwaitingfor,foolwimp?
Youtheman.
Greg:
Look,wecangetouttoHolly,andbestandingrightnexttoherwhen
theclockchanges.ThenIcanaskhertoskateandshewillhavetosay
yes.
Rowley:
Idon’tknowaboutthat.
Mom:
Oh,honey,hi.Rememberwhenwewereyounglikethis,whenwe
usedtodance,gotoparties,thingslikethis?
Greg:
I’mgoingin.Coverme.
Host:
Allrockersandhandcoreskatersofftherink.Unlessyou’relooking
forlove.It’stimeforcoupleskate.
Greg:
I’mmakingmymove.
DJ:
Stop.Enoughofthat,totally.Whoisreadytorock?
Holly:
Comeon.Let’sgetoutofhere.
Rowley:
Whatcanwedo?
Greg:
Staycalm.Allwecandoisjuststayinghere.Rowley,hangon.Mom:
GregHeffley,thisisyourmother.Everythingisgoingtobeok.Stay
whereyouareandyourfatherisgoingtocomerescueyou.Irepect.
Everythingisgoingtobeok.Ok,herehecomes.Herehecomes.Heis
onhisway.
Greg:
Dad.Iknow,Iknow.
Mom:
Ok.Everyone,gobacktoskate.
Greg:
Youareallright?
2
Rodrick:
HeyRomeo,howdidyougowiththenewgirl?
Agirl:
Youruinedmybirthday.Youjerk.
Greg:
Owe!
Thathurts.
Letmestartbysayingthathavingabrotherisreallyoverrated.Rowleyalwayssayshewisheshehadabrother.WhatdoIwishIcouldgethimoneofmine.I’velookedintoit,andunfortunatelyitisnotlegal.ImeanMannyhasbeentellingonmeeversincehewasabletospeak.Manny:
Buddydidit.Buddydidit.Bubbydidit.
Mom:
Greg!
AndRodrickisthekingoflaziness.Exceptwhenhecomestotorturingme.Mymumhasstartedrunninganadvicecolumnforthelocalpaper.Shewroteanarticlelastweekabouthowyourbrotherswillalwaysbethereforyou.Well,that’sexactlywhatI’mafraidof.
Manny:
Hey,buddy.
Greg:
Gottago,mom.
Rodrick:
Later,mom.
Dad:
Seeyou,honey.
Mom:
Wait.Wait.Holdonasecond.Ineedamomentforafamilymeeting.
NowyourfatherandIhavebeentalking.Thingsbetweentwoofyou
hadreallygotoutofhand
Rodrick:
CanIjustsay…
Mom:
Youmaynotrealizeitnow…buthavingabrotherisoneofthemost
importantrelationshipsofyourlife.Imeanonedayyoucanbeuncle
GreganduncleRodricktoeachother’skids.Thatisimportant.Soyou
needtogettoknoweachother.
GregandRodrick:
What?
Mom:
Youneedtospendmoretimetogether.
Rodrick:
What?
Mom:
That’swhyIcomeupwithanewprogram…that’sgoingtoreward
youforspendingtimetogether.I’mcallingit:
MumBucks.
Rodrick:
Youpayinguswithfakemoney?
Mom:
Yes.Foreveryhouryouspendtogether…withoutfighting,for
example,let’ssay…yougiveGregadrumlesson,youeachearnamum
buck.Youcanthentradeitforaonerealdollar.Sotostartyouoff,I’m
givingyoueachfivemunbucks.Nowifyou’resmart,youwillsaveup
yourmumbucks.
Rodrick:
CanIcashoutnow?
Mom:
Well,Rodrick,ifyousay…
Rodrick:
ButcanIcashout?
Mom:
Yes,but…
Rodrick:
Iwanttocashout.
Mom:
Frank?
Dad:
Iknow.
Mom:
Ok.Yes,youcan.Weshouldgetgoing,becauseyoudon’twanttobe
3
lateforschool,right?
Let’sgo.Ok.Allright.
Rodrick:
Thismumbucksthingisagoldmine.Betternotruinitforme.
MostkidshateitwhensummerendsbutIhavetosay…rightnowschoolstartingisprettygood.
Patty:
Welcomeback.Welcomeback.
Rowley:
It’snicenottobethenewkidsthisyear.Greg:
Iknow,lookatthetinysixth-graders.Chirag:
I’msogladthat’snotmethisyear.
Astudent:
Justlittlehigher.
Rowley:
Oh,Greg,lookwho’sinourclass.
Thiswasmychance.IfIcansitnexttoHolly…I’dhavethewholeyeartoshowherhowgreatIam.
Patty:
Noway,GregHeffley.Thisismyseat.Greg:
No,it’snot.Iwasherefirst.It’smine.Letgo.
Patty:
YouknowI’mstrongerthanyou.GregHeffley.Don’tletmebeatyou
upagain.
Greg:
Let’sgetitstraight.Iwassickandtherewassomethinginmyeye.
Mr.Draybrick:
Ineverhadstudentssoeagertostarttheschoolyear.
What’sgoingon?
GregandPatty:
Thisismyseat.
Mr.Draybrick:
Ok,let’sstartagain.Whatareyournames?
Patty:
PattyFarrelltwoRs,twoLs.
Greg:
GregHeffley.
Mr.Draybrick:
GregHeffley.WouldyouberelatedtoRodrickHeffley?
I’ve
gotmyeyeonyou,Heffley.
Thereisnowaytoescape.
Greg:
It’sunbelievable.Evenatschool,Rodrickcanruinmylife.Rowley:
Xu,hemighthearyou.
Greg:
No,watch.
Rowley:
Holycow?
Greg:
Heoncesleptthroughanentireday.
Reporter:
Doyouhaveanamazingtalentthatyou’dliketoshare?
Today
Plainviewcitycouncillorsannouncedabrand-newlocalcontest:
Plainview’sMostTalented.
Rowley:
Hey,Greg,maybewecan…
Rodrick:
Can’tyoushout,headcheese.
Television:
Westmoreisabsolutelypacktotheroof.Thetopprizeis,1000
andofcoursetheadmirationofyourfriendsandneighbours.Rodrick:
Thisishuge.Ihavetocalltheband.Wegonnatopractice.Thisis
goingtobeabigbreak.
Mom:
Waitasecond.Aren’tyouforgettingsomething?
Rodrick:
What?
Ishoweredyesterday.Smell.
4
Mom:
Ok,ok,ok.WeagreedthatyougiveadrumlessontoGreg.Greg:
Youwereserious?
Mom:
Whoknows?
Ifyouguysreallylikeitandmaybewecanforma
familyband.
Rodricksayshe’saprofessionalmusician,but…asfarasIknow,theonly
moneyhemadewaswhendaddiggedfivebokitostophimplaying.Greg:
Whencanweplaytherealdrums?
Rodrick:
LikeI’deverletyoutouchthem.Watchandlearn.
Rowley:
Hey,Iwasthinkingweshouldenterthetalentshow.Icandomy
magicactandyoucouldbemyassistant.
Greg:
Assistant?
Noway.Doingmagictricksisbadenough.Assistingthe
guydoingthetricks…Inevermakeittheeightgrade.
Greg:
What?
Rowley:
Hey,acookie.
Greg:
Manny,whathaveyoudone?
Manny:
I’monlythree.
Mom:
What’sgoingon?
Whatdidyoudotohim?
Greg:
Nothing,heruinedmyvideogame.
Mom:
Hedoesn’tdonothingonpurpose.Didyou,honey?
Manny:
No.Ididn’t.
Mom:
No,hedidn’t.Heisonlythree.
Manny:
I’monlythree.
Mom:
Ok,let’sgo,sweetie.Wantanothercookie?
It’ssounfair.IhaveRodrickmakingmylifemiserableononeside…Manny
attackingmefromtheother.AndIamtheonlyonewhoseemedtobeblamedbyanything.Wonderinghowwoulditbetohaveafamilythatreallylovesme?
Awoman:
Littleboy…Weareaveryrichcouplewithnochildrenwithso
muchlovetoshare.Don’tyouwanttobeapartofourfamily?
Aman:
Finally!
SomeoneIcanleavemybillionsto.
Greg:
India?
Whywouldyougothere?
Rowley:
Indiaisfascinating.ItisthejewelofSoutheastAsia.Chirag:
Myfatherhasbusinesstotakecareof.Soheistakingthewhole
family.
Fregley:
Canyoubringbackacobra,Iwilltakeittodance?
Malone:
Wakeup.Whatareyouguysdoingoverthere?
Gettheball!
Get
theball!
Oh,kickit.
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