MTV电影大奖颁奖典礼英文原声.docx

MTV电影大奖颁奖典礼英文原声.docx

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MTV电影大奖颁奖典礼英文原声

2010年MTV电影大奖颁奖典礼

TVSPECIALPRESENTATION

LadiesAndGentlemen,Mtv

PresentsAVerySpecialMessage

FromTheProducerOfThisYear'sMtvMovieAwards.

>>?

?

?

TheAwards,YearsIHave

DoneItBetter

AndI'veMade

MoreMoneyThanAnybodyIn

Hollywood.

BesidesTheMoneyAndThePower,

AndTheMoneyAndThePower,

IDoItForOnlyOneReason--

You.

YouSee,MoviesAreNothingBut

AMarriage,APictureAndSound.

MyJobIsToGetThoseTwo

ThingsDrunk

AndMakeThen

AndTheIllegitimateBabyThey

MakeIsCalledIt.

I'mSorry?

?

?

You'reAHugeMovieStar.

>>AndI'mGoingToMakeYouTwo

[Bleep]EvenBigger.

TwoWords--BadassCop!

BAD-ASSCOP!

ALESGRASSMANPRODUCTION

>>HereWeAre,TwoMillion

Domestic,Bitch.

>>DoYouKnowWhatThatGets

Me?

>>ItAlsoBuysMeTheseBook

Ends.

>>IMissMyFamily.

AndILiveToBringYou

PeopleTheBest.

>>AreYouDonePlaying?

You'reInMyWorldNow!

YouCan'tGetByInThisMovie

WithYourHollywoodCharmAnd

YourLilWayneCornrows!

YouMakeMeSick!

>>ComeOn,Man.

Dude.

IDon'tCareIfHe's.

We'reTalkingAboutMyKarate

KidHere.

>>Look,IBroughtHimHere

BecausheIsReady.

>>FreshPrinceSaidHeIs

Ready.

>>ParentsJustDon't

Understand.

>>WhatAreYouGoingToDo?

CanITouchYourHair?

>>BringIt!

That'sMyKarateKid!

FinishIt!

>>DidIBreakIt?

>>HeSaidFinishIt.

>>FinishIt!

GoodJob.

Okay,Good.

That'sWhyI'mProducingThis

Year'sMtvMovieAwards,

Because

TonightI'mGoingToShoveThisLumpOfCoalUpMyAss

And

ClinchMyButtCheeksAndCrap

ItOutOfYou,

AndIfYou

CelebutardsDoAnythingTo？

？

[Bleep],I'mGoingToMessYou

Up.

SoSitBackAndRelaxAndEnjoy

My[Bleep]TwoHours.

ThisIsTheMtvMovie

AwardsWithAppearancesBy--

JESSICBIEL

SANDRABULLOCK

BRADLEYCOOPER

MIRANDACOSGROVE

TOMCRUISE

CAMERONDIAZ

ZACEFRON

ZACHGALIFIANAKS

WILLFERRELL

JONAHHILL

SCARLETTJOHANSSON

TAYLORLAUTNER

ROBERTPATTINSON

ADAMSANDLER

WILLSMITH

KRISTENSTEWART

SHAUNWHITE

PERFORMANCESBY

CHRISTINAAGUILERA

ANDKATYPERRY

HOSTEDBY

AZIZANSARI

WakeUp,Bro.

It'sTheMtvMovieAwards,

YouNeedToGetSomeRest.

INeverHaveBeenToBed

Before.

ThenItWon'tBeSoHardFor

YouGetUpThen.

ThisHereIsMyNew

Girlfriend.

IDon'tBelieveThis.

Let'sPackYourStuffUpAnd

GetOutOfHere,Mike.

INeverHadAnyStuff.

ThenIGuessYou'reAll

Packed.

Let'sGo.

>>SeeYa.

Bye.

AreYouGoingToBed?

AreYouExcitedAboutHosting

TheAwardsTonight?

>>That'sRight.

ShutThe[Bleep]Up.

I'mTryingToSleep.

>>Okay.SweetDreams.

>>MyNameIsAzizAnsari.

IWantToBeOnTheCoverOfA

Magazine.

IWantToHostTheMtvMovie

AndMyMomIsMeanAs

>>GetDownHere!

GetDownHere!

>>It'sAmandaSeyfriedFrom

"DearJohn."

SheWantedMeToHelpHerWork

OnHerSpeechInCaseSheWins.

>>YouWantMeTo[Bleep]!

>>IUsuallyEatWhileI'm

Running.

>>YouPlanOnPuttingSomeFood

InTheFryingPan?

IDon'tSeeThePanAnywhere.

>>It'sAroundSomewhere.

>>You'reADummy,Bitch.

Don'tNobodyWantYou,Don't

NobodyNeedYou.

>>NobodyLovesMe.

>>YourBabyLovesYou.

>>Oh,Man.

I'veGotToGoHostTheShow.

HowAmIGoingToGetPeople

ExcitedBeforeIGetOnStage?

>>MaybeICanHelp.

>>JustinBieber,WhatAreYou

DoingHere?

>>HereToMakeTheGirlsGo

Crazy.

Listen.

>>They'reScreamingSoLoud!

That'sAmazing.

ThankYou,JustinBieber.

>>NoProblem.

>>LadiesAndGentlemen,HereTo

HostTheMtvMovieAwards,

AzizAnsari!

>>ThankYou.

What'sUp?

WelcomeToTheMtvMovie

Awards.

MyNameIsAzizAnsari.

I'mYourHostForTheEvening.

I'mSoExcitedToBeHere.

TheBigThingInMoviesThis

YearWas-DMovies.

Now,SomePeopleDon'tLike-D.

ILove-D.

ILove-D.

ButFullDisclosure,IThink

HeadachesAreDull,SoI'mA

LittleBitBiassed.

SomePeopleDoLike-DTooMuch

Though.

Oh,Man,IJustSawAMovieIn

-DItLooksSoReal.

IJustSawThisMovieIn-DIt

LooksSoReal.

DoYouKnowWhatElseLooks

Real?

Movies.

AnyMovieThatCameOutRecently

LooksReal.

IMean"Julie&Julia"Looks

Real.

IDon'tWatchThatMovieAnd

Don'tGo,ThoseAren'tPeople,ThoseAren'tPotsAndPans.

NobodyIsSauteingButterIn

ThatThing.

DoYouKnowWhatDoesn'tLook

Real?

"ClashOfTheTitans"And

"Avatar."

ThoseMoviesLookLikeVideo

Games.

"Avatar"WasTheBiggestMovie

OfAllTime.

TheBiggestMovieOfAllTime.

ButHowDidJamesCameronPitch

ThatMovie?

HeMustHaveSoundedLikeA

CrazyPerson.

CanYouImagineAFriendComing

UpToYouAndGoingLike,

IWant

ToMakeAMovieAboutBlueAliens.

GonnaTakeMeYears.

AndI'mGoingToSpend

$Million.

Well,That'sQuiteABigLeapOf

Faith,IsThereAnythingYou

TellMeAboutTheMovie?

Yeah,AtOnePoint,

ADudeIsGoingTo[Bleep]MeWithHis

Ponytail.

Okay,GoodLuckWithThat

Project,Dude.

ButIt'sTheMtvMovieAwards,

SoTheBiggestMoviesAreThe

"Twilight"Movies.

IWatchThem.

IWatchThem.

IWatchedBothOfThem.

MyFavoriteCharacter--Edward.

He'sASmooth,SexyVampire.

Smooth,SexyVampire.

HeGoesOutWithHisGirlOnA

DateAndHeGoes--YouBetter

HoldOnTight,SpiderMonkey.

That'sSmooth.

ISayTheSameThingsToGirls

WheneverThaiStepInMyKia

Sportage.

YouBetterHoldOnTight,Spider

Monkey,We'reGoingToQuiznos.

SoIFinished"Twilight"AndI'm

AllPsychedToWatch"NewMoon"

AndSeeEdwardAndTheDudeIs

GoneTheWholeMovie.

TheMovieStarts,SorryIGotta

MoveAndHeFinallyShowsUpAt

TheEnd.

AllRight,I'mDoneFilming,

RememberMe,HereIAm.

TheGirlBellaGotToChoose

BetweenJacobTheWolfBoy

And--

--JacobOrEdward.

AndShe'sLike,Edward.

I'mDown.

EdwardIsLike,Cool,WantTo

GetMarried?

LikeRightAway.

Doesn'tGiveTheWolfGuyAny

SpaceToLeave.

LikeHeBendsDownToPropose

AndTheWolfNudgesHerOnTheShoulder

That'sHowLittleFaith

HeGives.

AndThenAfterHeProposesLike

TheCreditsStartRollingRight

AwayLikeThat'sABigCliff-Hanger.

No,It'sNot.

WeAllKnowShe'sGoingToSay

Yes.

YouCan'tHaveYourHeroRunning

Which--AwayFromABunchOf

Explosion,

It,ToBeContinued.

AllRight.

AreYouReadyToGetThisShow

Started?

Okay.

Now,IDidn'tSeeThe

Documentary"Babies,"

ButI'mVeryExcitedToSeeTheFirst

PresentersInTheSequels"Grown

Ups."

PleaseWelcomesTheGrown-Ups,

AdamSandler,AdamJames,Chris

Rock,DavidSpadeAndRobSchneider!

HowYouGuys?

InOurNewMovie"GrownUps,"

TheFiveOfUsActuallyPlayA

Grown-Up.

ItWasTheGreatestActing

ChallengeOfOurLives.

>>ToPrepareForOurRoles,We

LivedAmongstTheGrown-Ups.

DressedLikeThemAndLearnedTo

SpeakTheirLanguage.

UsingBigWordsLikeMortgage

AndFertilizer.

WeHadToLearnToWalkLikeThe

Grown-Ups.

WeForcedOurselvesToGain

PoundsInOurAssesLikeThe

Grown-UpsInNorthAndSouthDakota.

>>WeHiredATeamOfDoctorsTo

InjectOurBodiesWithArthritis

AndConstantlyHadToFightOur

NaturalUrgesToPeeInOurBeds

AndPlayWithOurSpiderman

Dolls.

AndIHadToForceMyselfTo

DateGrown-UpWomen,

SomeAsOld

As.

IJustThankGodTheMovieIs

ComingOutSoWeCanGoBackTo

PlayingXbox

AndSuckingOutOfOurMother'sMilkBottle.

>>TheNomineesForBestFemale

PerformanceAre--

>>BestFemalePerformance.

KristenStewart.

>>ZoeSaldana.

EMMAWATSON

>>SandraBullock.

>>AmandaSeyfried.

IDON'TTHINKSO.

>>WinnerForBestFemale

IsKristenStewart.

>>YouGuysWantToDoThisFor

Me?

>>AllRight.

ThankYouSoMuch.

ThisIsAwesome.

IGuess--IGuess"Twilight"Is

ReallyAwesomeAndIAgree.

AndUm,IWantToSayHiTo

ChrisBecauseIHaven'tTalked

ToHimInAWhileAnd

HeDirectedTheMovieAndIReally

LovedHimAndHowCoolIsThis,

Chris,Right?

Okay.

I'mGoingToPeaceOutAndThank

YouSoMuch.

>>FromTheMovie"Takers",?

?

?

PleaseWelcomeT.I.

>>Hey,What'sHappening.

SoKristenStewart,WillSheGet

AnotherAwardForBestKiss?

We'reBack.

TTheNextPresentersAreGoingTo

BeOnStageForAboutAsLongAs

IAppearInTheirHitFilm"GetHimToTheGreek."

PleaseWelcomeRussellBrand,JonahHill

AndSean"Diddy"

Combs.

>>WeAreHereToPresentThe

AwardForBestBreakoutStar.

>>Oh,MyGod,YouGuys,Is

TaylorLautnerHere?

>>I'mNotExcitedAboutLautner

BecauseRobertPattisonIsHere.

I'mGoingToNeedTesticular

Surgery.

>>YouKnowThisIsWhyWe'll

NeverBeFriends.

You'reTeamEdward?

?

?

And?

?

?

It'sLike

IsraelAndPalestine.

>>?

?

?

Israel!

>>WhatThe[Bleep]AreYou

GuysTalkingAbout?

>>WeWereDoingTheMovie,You

GuysHadTheseSameTypesOf

Conversations.

IDon'tUnderstandAnyOfThis

FromWhereI'mFrom.

WhatAreYouTalkingAbout?

And--EveryTimeYouGuysOpen

YourMouths,IGetLessCool.

>>Well,Puffy,Well,TheTeam

EdwardVersusTeamJacobIsLike

TheEastCoast/WestCoast

ConflictThatYouWentThrough.

ThankHeavensNow--?

?

?

>>ExactlyLikeThat.

>>I'mStillAngryWithYou

BecauseWe'reOnDifferent

Teams.

>>ISeriouslyHateYou?

?

?

YouKnow,I'mNeverDoingA

MovieWithYouAgain.

And--Well,Let'sGetToThe

ReasonWe'reHere.

>>BestBreakOutstar.

ZachGalinfianakis.

>>GaboureySidibe.

>>ChrisPine.

>>AnnaKendrick.

>>LoganLerman.

>>AndIfYouAin'tSeen"Get

HimToTheGreek,"MakeSureYou

ThankYouVeryMuch.

TheWinnerOfThis--WellDone.

ThePrizeForThis

>>TaylorLautner?

>>No.

It'sActuallyAnnaKendrickFrom

"UpInTheAir."?

?

?

>>WellDone.

IAmNotCoolEnoughToWin

AnMtvMovieAwardSoI'mNot

GoingToMessItUpByTalkingAnyMoreThanIShould.

ThisIsTheCoolestMomentEver.

ThisIsGoingOnMyCoffee

Table.

ThankYouSoMuc