MTV电影大奖颁奖典礼英文原声.docx
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MTV电影大奖颁奖典礼英文原声
2010年MTV电影大奖颁奖典礼
TVSPECIALPRESENTATION
LadiesAndGentlemen,Mtv
PresentsAVerySpecialMessage
FromTheProducerOfThisYear'sMtvMovieAwards.
>>?
?
?
TheAwards,YearsIHave
DoneItBetter
AndI'veMade
MoreMoneyThanAnybodyIn
Hollywood.
BesidesTheMoneyAndThePower,
AndTheMoneyAndThePower,
IDoItForOnlyOneReason--
You.
YouSee,MoviesAreNothingBut
AMarriage,APictureAndSound.
MyJobIsToGetThoseTwo
ThingsDrunk
AndMakeThen
AndTheIllegitimateBabyThey
MakeIsCalledIt.
I'mSorry?
?
?
You'reAHugeMovieStar.
>>AndI'mGoingToMakeYouTwo
[Bleep]EvenBigger.
TwoWords--BadassCop!
BAD-ASSCOP!
ALESGRASSMANPRODUCTION
>>HereWeAre,TwoMillion
Domestic,Bitch.
>>DoYouKnowWhatThatGets
Me?
>>ItAlsoBuysMeTheseBook
Ends.
>>IMissMyFamily.
AndILiveToBringYou
PeopleTheBest.
>>AreYouDonePlaying?
You'reInMyWorldNow!
YouCan'tGetByInThisMovie
WithYourHollywoodCharmAnd
YourLilWayneCornrows!
YouMakeMeSick!
>>ComeOn,Man.
Dude.
IDon'tCareIfHe's.
We'reTalkingAboutMyKarate
KidHere.
>>Look,IBroughtHimHere
BecausheIsReady.
>>FreshPrinceSaidHeIs
Ready.
>>ParentsJustDon't
Understand.
>>WhatAreYouGoingToDo?
CanITouchYourHair?
>>BringIt!
That'sMyKarateKid!
FinishIt!
>>DidIBreakIt?
>>HeSaidFinishIt.
>>FinishIt!
GoodJob.
Okay,Good.
That'sWhyI'mProducingThis
Year'sMtvMovieAwards,
Because
TonightI'mGoingToShoveThisLumpOfCoalUpMyAss
And
ClinchMyButtCheeksAndCrap
ItOutOfYou,
AndIfYou
CelebutardsDoAnythingTo?
?
[Bleep],I'mGoingToMessYou
Up.
SoSitBackAndRelaxAndEnjoy
My[Bleep]TwoHours.
ThisIsTheMtvMovie
AwardsWithAppearancesBy--
JESSICBIEL
SANDRABULLOCK
BRADLEYCOOPER
MIRANDACOSGROVE
TOMCRUISE
CAMERONDIAZ
ZACEFRON
ZACHGALIFIANAKS
WILLFERRELL
JONAHHILL
SCARLETTJOHANSSON
TAYLORLAUTNER
ROBERTPATTINSON
ADAMSANDLER
WILLSMITH
KRISTENSTEWART
SHAUNWHITE
PERFORMANCESBY
CHRISTINAAGUILERA
ANDKATYPERRY
HOSTEDBY
AZIZANSARI
WakeUp,Bro.
It'sTheMtvMovieAwards,
YouNeedToGetSomeRest.
INeverHaveBeenToBed
Before.
ThenItWon'tBeSoHardFor
YouGetUpThen.
ThisHereIsMyNew
Girlfriend.
IDon'tBelieveThis.
Let'sPackYourStuffUpAnd
GetOutOfHere,Mike.
INeverHadAnyStuff.
ThenIGuessYou'reAll
Packed.
Let'sGo.
>>SeeYa.
Bye.
AreYouGoingToBed?
AreYouExcitedAboutHosting
TheAwardsTonight?
>>That'sRight.
ShutThe[Bleep]Up.
I'mTryingToSleep.
>>Okay.SweetDreams.
>>MyNameIsAzizAnsari.
IWantToBeOnTheCoverOfA
Magazine.
IWantToHostTheMtvMovie
AndMyMomIsMeanAs
>>GetDownHere!
GetDownHere!
>>It'sAmandaSeyfriedFrom
"DearJohn."
SheWantedMeToHelpHerWork
OnHerSpeechInCaseSheWins.
>>YouWantMeTo[Bleep]!
>>IUsuallyEatWhileI'm
Running.
>>YouPlanOnPuttingSomeFood
InTheFryingPan?
IDon'tSeeThePanAnywhere.
>>It'sAroundSomewhere.
>>You'reADummy,Bitch.
Don'tNobodyWantYou,Don't
NobodyNeedYou.
>>NobodyLovesMe.
>>YourBabyLovesYou.
>>Oh,Man.
I'veGotToGoHostTheShow.
HowAmIGoingToGetPeople
ExcitedBeforeIGetOnStage?
>>MaybeICanHelp.
>>JustinBieber,WhatAreYou
DoingHere?
>>HereToMakeTheGirlsGo
Crazy.
Listen.
>>They'reScreamingSoLoud!
That'sAmazing.
ThankYou,JustinBieber.
>>NoProblem.
>>LadiesAndGentlemen,HereTo
HostTheMtvMovieAwards,
AzizAnsari!
>>ThankYou.
What'sUp?
WelcomeToTheMtvMovie
Awards.
MyNameIsAzizAnsari.
I'mYourHostForTheEvening.
I'mSoExcitedToBeHere.
TheBigThingInMoviesThis
YearWas-DMovies.
Now,SomePeopleDon'tLike-D.
ILove-D.
ILove-D.
ButFullDisclosure,IThink
HeadachesAreDull,SoI'mA
LittleBitBiassed.
SomePeopleDoLike-DTooMuch
Though.
Oh,Man,IJustSawAMovieIn
-DItLooksSoReal.
IJustSawThisMovieIn-DIt
LooksSoReal.
DoYouKnowWhatElseLooks
Real?
Movies.
AnyMovieThatCameOutRecently
LooksReal.
IMean"Julie&Julia"Looks
Real.
IDon'tWatchThatMovieAnd
Don'tGo,ThoseAren'tPeople,ThoseAren'tPotsAndPans.
NobodyIsSauteingButterIn
ThatThing.
DoYouKnowWhatDoesn'tLook
Real?
"ClashOfTheTitans"And
"Avatar."
ThoseMoviesLookLikeVideo
Games.
"Avatar"WasTheBiggestMovie
OfAllTime.
TheBiggestMovieOfAllTime.
ButHowDidJamesCameronPitch
ThatMovie?
HeMustHaveSoundedLikeA
CrazyPerson.
CanYouImagineAFriendComing
UpToYouAndGoingLike,
IWant
ToMakeAMovieAboutBlueAliens.
GonnaTakeMeYears.
AndI'mGoingToSpend
$Million.
Well,That'sQuiteABigLeapOf
Faith,IsThereAnythingYou
TellMeAboutTheMovie?
Yeah,AtOnePoint,
ADudeIsGoingTo[Bleep]MeWithHis
Ponytail.
Okay,GoodLuckWithThat
Project,Dude.
ButIt'sTheMtvMovieAwards,
SoTheBiggestMoviesAreThe
"Twilight"Movies.
IWatchThem.
IWatchThem.
IWatchedBothOfThem.
MyFavoriteCharacter--Edward.
He'sASmooth,SexyVampire.
Smooth,SexyVampire.
HeGoesOutWithHisGirlOnA
DateAndHeGoes--YouBetter
HoldOnTight,SpiderMonkey.
That'sSmooth.
ISayTheSameThingsToGirls
WheneverThaiStepInMyKia
Sportage.
YouBetterHoldOnTight,Spider
Monkey,We'reGoingToQuiznos.
SoIFinished"Twilight"AndI'm
AllPsychedToWatch"NewMoon"
AndSeeEdwardAndTheDudeIs
GoneTheWholeMovie.
TheMovieStarts,SorryIGotta
MoveAndHeFinallyShowsUpAt
TheEnd.
AllRight,I'mDoneFilming,
RememberMe,HereIAm.
TheGirlBellaGotToChoose
BetweenJacobTheWolfBoy
And--
--JacobOrEdward.
AndShe'sLike,Edward.
I'mDown.
EdwardIsLike,Cool,WantTo
GetMarried?
LikeRightAway.
Doesn'tGiveTheWolfGuyAny
SpaceToLeave.
LikeHeBendsDownToPropose
AndTheWolfNudgesHerOnTheShoulder
That'sHowLittleFaith
HeGives.
AndThenAfterHeProposesLike
TheCreditsStartRollingRight
AwayLikeThat'sABigCliff-Hanger.
No,It'sNot.
WeAllKnowShe'sGoingToSay
Yes.
YouCan'tHaveYourHeroRunning
Which--AwayFromABunchOf
Explosion,
It,ToBeContinued.
AllRight.
AreYouReadyToGetThisShow
Started?
Okay.
Now,IDidn'tSeeThe
Documentary"Babies,"
ButI'mVeryExcitedToSeeTheFirst
PresentersInTheSequels"Grown
Ups."
PleaseWelcomesTheGrown-Ups,
AdamSandler,AdamJames,Chris
Rock,DavidSpadeAndRobSchneider!
HowYouGuys?
InOurNewMovie"GrownUps,"
TheFiveOfUsActuallyPlayA
Grown-Up.
ItWasTheGreatestActing
ChallengeOfOurLives.
>>ToPrepareForOurRoles,We
LivedAmongstTheGrown-Ups.
DressedLikeThemAndLearnedTo
SpeakTheirLanguage.
UsingBigWordsLikeMortgage
AndFertilizer.
WeHadToLearnToWalkLikeThe
Grown-Ups.
WeForcedOurselvesToGain
PoundsInOurAssesLikeThe
Grown-UpsInNorthAndSouthDakota.
>>WeHiredATeamOfDoctorsTo
InjectOurBodiesWithArthritis
AndConstantlyHadToFightOur
NaturalUrgesToPeeInOurBeds
AndPlayWithOurSpiderman
Dolls.
AndIHadToForceMyselfTo
DateGrown-UpWomen,
SomeAsOld
As.
IJustThankGodTheMovieIs
ComingOutSoWeCanGoBackTo
PlayingXbox
AndSuckingOutOfOurMother'sMilkBottle.
>>TheNomineesForBestFemale
PerformanceAre--
>>BestFemalePerformance.
KristenStewart.
>>ZoeSaldana.
EMMAWATSON
>>SandraBullock.
>>AmandaSeyfried.
IDON'TTHINKSO.
>>WinnerForBestFemale
IsKristenStewart.
>>YouGuysWantToDoThisFor
Me?
>>AllRight.
ThankYouSoMuch.
ThisIsAwesome.
IGuess--IGuess"Twilight"Is
ReallyAwesomeAndIAgree.
AndUm,IWantToSayHiTo
ChrisBecauseIHaven'tTalked
ToHimInAWhileAnd
HeDirectedTheMovieAndIReally
LovedHimAndHowCoolIsThis,
Chris,Right?
Okay.
I'mGoingToPeaceOutAndThank
YouSoMuch.
>>FromTheMovie"Takers",?
?
?
PleaseWelcomeT.I.
>>Hey,What'sHappening.
SoKristenStewart,WillSheGet
AnotherAwardForBestKiss?
We'reBack.
TTheNextPresentersAreGoingTo
BeOnStageForAboutAsLongAs
IAppearInTheirHitFilm"GetHimToTheGreek."
PleaseWelcomeRussellBrand,JonahHill
AndSean"Diddy"
Combs.
>>WeAreHereToPresentThe
AwardForBestBreakoutStar.
>>Oh,MyGod,YouGuys,Is
TaylorLautnerHere?
>>I'mNotExcitedAboutLautner
BecauseRobertPattisonIsHere.
I'mGoingToNeedTesticular
Surgery.
>>YouKnowThisIsWhyWe'll
NeverBeFriends.
You'reTeamEdward?
?
?
And?
?
?
It'sLike
IsraelAndPalestine.
>>?
?
?
Israel!
>>WhatThe[Bleep]AreYou
GuysTalkingAbout?
>>WeWereDoingTheMovie,You
GuysHadTheseSameTypesOf
Conversations.
IDon'tUnderstandAnyOfThis
FromWhereI'mFrom.
WhatAreYouTalkingAbout?
And--EveryTimeYouGuysOpen
YourMouths,IGetLessCool.
>>Well,Puffy,Well,TheTeam
EdwardVersusTeamJacobIsLike
TheEastCoast/WestCoast
ConflictThatYouWentThrough.
ThankHeavensNow--?
?
?
>>ExactlyLikeThat.
>>I'mStillAngryWithYou
BecauseWe'reOnDifferent
Teams.
>>ISeriouslyHateYou?
?
?
YouKnow,I'mNeverDoingA
MovieWithYouAgain.
And--Well,Let'sGetToThe
ReasonWe'reHere.
>>BestBreakOutstar.
ZachGalinfianakis.
>>GaboureySidibe.
>>ChrisPine.
>>AnnaKendrick.
>>LoganLerman.
>>AndIfYouAin'tSeen"Get
HimToTheGreek,"MakeSureYou
ThankYouVeryMuch.
TheWinnerOfThis--WellDone.
ThePrizeForThis
>>TaylorLautner?
>>No.
It'sActuallyAnnaKendrickFrom
"UpInTheAir."?
?
?
>>WellDone.
IAmNotCoolEnoughToWin
AnMtvMovieAwardSoI'mNot
GoingToMessItUpByTalkingAnyMoreThanIShould.
ThisIsTheCoolestMomentEver.
ThisIsGoingOnMyCoffee
Table.
ThankYouSoMuc