精编范文英语搞笑话剧剧本word范文模板 13页.docx
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精编范文英语搞笑话剧剧本word范文模板13页
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英语搞笑话剧剧本
篇一:
搞笑英语话剧剧本.1doc
搞笑英语话剧剧本《荆珂刺秦王》旁白(Aside)/介绍(Introduction):
Longagotherewasacrazycountry,inthiscrazycountrythereweresomecrazypeople,tryingtoshowthecrazyhistorybycrazyways.MrJingkewasthemostfamoussword
搞笑英语话剧剧本《荆珂刺秦王》
旁白(Aside)/介绍(Introduction):
Longagotherewasacrazycountry,inthiscrazycountrythereweresomecrazypeople,tryingtoshowthecrazyhistorybycrazyways.MrJingkewasthemostfamousswordsman剑客andwassenttokillkingofQing,“Yingzheng”.Butfinallyhefailed.Doyouwanttoknowwhathappenedatthattime?
Okay,nextshowwilltellyouthetruth.
ActionI
太子丹(上,掏出镜子梳头,做自恋状):
Mirror,mirror,tellme,whoisthemostpretty(来自:
WwW.)manintheworld?
(画外音:
It’syou,PrinceDan!
太子丹高兴状)Thankumirror!
(面对观众)I’mPrinceDan,themagicmirrorsaidIamthemostattractivemanintheworld.ButYingZhengisajealousguy,Ifeelhewillkillmeifmirrortoldhimthetruth.Iamsoscared.SowhatcanIdo?
(向幕里大叫)Whereismyminister?
阿三(毕恭毕敬):
Honey,Iamcoming.
太子丹:
I’vetoldyouagainandagainthatyoushouldcallme“mymostbeautiful、graceful、handsome、charming、cute、smartanddearestPrinceDan”!
阿三:
Sure,honey!
Ihaveagoodidea.WecanfindaherotokillYingZheng~~~(作杀状)
太子:
Ohyeah~~~.Whatisthemostexpensivecommodityinthiscentury?
Talent!
(二十一世纪最需要的是什么,人才!
然后拍阿三肩膀,做赞许状)Goodidea!
Butwhoistherightcandidate?
阿三:
AfterscreeningIhavetwopromisingpersonsonhand.OneisMissLiMoChou,theotherisMrJinKe.TomorrowtheywillPKfortheNO1killeroftheworld.
太子:
Well,showmethewinnerassoonaspossible,OK?
阿三:
Yes.
ActionII(《十面埋伏》中刘德华&金成武决斗时的音乐)
荆轲
AreyouLimochou?
李莫愁
Yes.
荆轲
OK.I’mJingke,youknow,IwillletyouknowIamthekingofthekillers’world.
李莫愁
Areyouchallengingme?
荆轲
Offcourse!
耸耸肩表示同意
莫愁
Comeon!
音乐起
两人冲上前来
“人在江湖漂啊,哪有不挨刀啊,一刀砍死你啊,两刀砍死你啊。
。
。
。
”李莫愁倒地
荆轲大笑
李莫愁痛苦状:
Whathappened?
Whyaren’tyouhurt?
荆轲:
Wedon'tneedanyreasontowinaperson.Don'twe?
Dowe?
(赢
一个人需要理由么,不需要么,需要么?
)
李莫愁:
Mommaalwayssaid:
"Lifeislikeaboxofchocolates,Mochou.Youneverknowwhatyou'regonnaget."Igotit,Mommaisright.轲再次大笑
太子丹上(抱拳):
Howareyou?
荆柯:
Fine,thankyou,andyou?
太子丹:
OhmyGod!
Couldyougivemeaninnovativeanswerto“Howareyou”?
荆柯:
Sure!
太子丹:
Howareyou?
荆柯:
Fine,thankyou,andyourwife?
太子丹晕倒
荆柯:
Hey,man,I’mkidding!
太子丹:
Oh,I’mkiddingtoo!
(毕恭毕敬)MayIhaveyournamecard,please?
荆轲从兜里掏出一卷纸,上面写着:
Tobeornottobe,that'saquestion.
阿三:
Hero,weneedyourhelp.
荆柯:
Iambusynow!
太子丹:
Youcangetalotofmoney.
荆柯:
Iamverybusynow!
阿三:
IC,ID,IQcard?
荆柯:
Iamveryverybusynow!
阿三(手指上场的美女,激动状):
Look!
Sheisthemostbeautifulgirlintheworld.IfyousayO.K.,sheisyours.
荆柯(流口水):
Ihavetosaysheisaverysexyandbeautifulgirl,butTCMismyonlylove!
阿三:
What?
What’stheTCM?
荆柯;Hey,guy!
Youlooksosmartbutwhyyoudidn’tknowTCM?
Anyofthemcangiveyoutheanswer.
阿三:
Excuseme?
What’stheTCM?
观众甲:
TCM-TraditionalChineseMM.
太子丹:
Imustshowyouthetrumpcard.Ladiesandgentlemen,thisisLiptonSlimmingtea.ItisabrandnewproductofUnileverChina.
荆柯(激动):
Slimming减食疗法tea!
Ihavedreamedofitforthousandsoftimes.MywifealwaysthreatenstoleavemeifIcouldn’treducemyweight.
阿三:
Youwant?
Speakupifyouwant!
Whydoyoukeepsilent?
Whyareyoulookingatme?
Althoughyoureyesarefullofsincerity,I’mveryglad,youstillhavetospeakup.Takeit!
Doyoureallylike?
Really?
你不是真的想要吧?
难道你真的想要吗?
?
荆柯(诚恳状)JusttellmewhatshouldIdo?
Iwilldoanythingforyou.太子丹与阿三(撞胯,击掌)Yeah!
ActionШ(《大话西游》主题曲响起)
荆珂挽着妻子,太子丹,阿三在后.
阿三:
Hero,wehavealreadyreachedYishuiRiver.
荆珂:
Juststophere,please.Farewell,myfriends
太子丹:
Iwillmissyou,baby.
(太子丹,阿三下。
停顿。
《泰坦尼克号》主题曲起,荆轲与妻子做Jack和rose
在船头的经典造型,忽然荆轲看到一个美女——此时一个中国古典美女经过,向荆轲抛媚眼,并抛下定情手绢。
荆轲高兴的盯着美女看,妻子发觉不对,扭过头来。
)
荆珂(急忙收敛):
Darling,Iloveyou.
妻子:
Iloveyou!
Youmeanmoretomethananythinginthiswholeworld!
(《肖申克的救赎》)
荆珂(流泪):
Iloveyoumore.Inspiteofyouandmeandthewholesillyworldgoingtopiecesaroundus,Iloveyou.(哪怕是世界末日我都会爱着你,选自《飘》)
妻子:
Well.Beaman,justdoit!
Iwillberightherewaitingforyou.荆珂(欲走还留,执子之手又曰):
Sweetheart!
Youmustdomethishonor...promisemeyouwillsurvive...thatyouwillnevergiveup...nomatterwhathappens...nomatterhowhopeless...promisemenow,andneverletgoofthatpromise(泰坦尼克号沉船时,Jack对Rose的倾诉).
妻子:
"Ipromise."
荆轲:
"Neverletgo.“妻子:
"Ipromise.Iwillneverletgo,Jack.I'llneverletgo."
(荆轲的发音和jack很像,所以加了一些《泰坦尼克号》的台词。
)妻子努力挤出几滴眼泪,
荆珂上船,渐渐远去
妻子:
It’sagooddaytodie.Nevercomeback.Never?
?
Never?
?
妻子(掏出手机拨号,阿三接手机):
Thankyouverymuch.AssoonasIgetthelifeassurance$1000,000,Iwilltransferhalfofit,$500,000toyouraccount.
篇二:
搞