摩登家庭第2季第5集字幕对白纯英文看美剧学英语打印word版.docx

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摩登家庭第2季第5集字幕对白纯英文看美剧学英语打印word版.docx

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摩登家庭第2季第5集字幕对白纯英文看美剧学英语打印word版.docx

摩登家庭第2季第5集字幕对白纯英文看美剧学英语打印word版

Mom.Thedogagain.

Iknowbaby.Iwanttostranglethatcrazyoldthing.

Justignoreit.

It'seasyforyoutoignore

becauseyouhavetheold-manhearing.

ButMannyandI--wehavetheyoungears.

Idon'tgethowonedogkeepsyouawake

whenyougrewupsleepingthrough

cockfightsandrevolutions.

Mm-hmm.Veryfunny,Jay.

Mannyhasn'tbeenabletosleepinweeks.

It'sscrewinghisbrainforschool.

Anditdoesn'tstop.

Itgoesonandonandonandonandonandon

-andonandonandon.-Yes,thatcouldbeannoying.

That'sit.I'mgoingoverthere.

Gloria,now,don'tgostartingsomething

becausewheneveryoudo,I'mtheonethat--

Thatshecouldn'thear.

They'regone.Cam.

Allthechildrenaregone.

Whatchildren?

Iwasrunninginthepark,

andInoticedthatnoneofthekids

Lilyusuallyplayswithwerethere.

-Well,it'sstillearly.-ButthenIranintoLori.

BoobsLorioradult-bracesLori?

-Great-shoesLori.-Oh,Ilikeher.

Andshesaidthattheyallsenttheirkidstopreschool.

What?

Weagreedtowaittillnextyear.

Itwasafake-outtomakesurethattheirkidsgotaspot.

Thoseskinnybitches.

Wehavegottogetherintoschool,Cameron,

orelseshe'sgonnafallbehind.

Don'tyouthinkIknowthat?

Thisisperfect.

Oh,leaveittothegays

toraisetheonlyunderachievingAsianinAmerica.

Okay,hereyougo.

Guys,breakfast.

Guys.Phil.Hello.

Totallywithyou.

Kids,putyourdishesinthedishwasher.

Okay,no.That'sit.

Everybody,gadgetsdownnow!

Whyareyoufreakingout?

Becauseyou'reallsoinvolvedwithyourlittlegizmos,

nobodyiseventalking.

Familiesaresupposedtotalk.

Whatareyoudoingthat'ssoimportant?

Oh,I'mlockinginmyfantasyroster.

I'munbeatable.

We'retotallygettinganabovegroundpool.

Die,stupid,die!

Luke,Itoldyoutoputthatdownnow.

Comeon,buddy.

Onesecond.I'mabouttobeatdad'srecord.

Youheardyourmother.

Whatissofunny?

Nothing.

"Mom'sinsane."Thankyou,Haley.

Atleastwetalk.

Hello.

Hey,it'sme.What'sagoodpreschool?

Uh,well,ourkidswenttoWagonWheel.

Anditwasgood?

Youlikedit?

Oh,well,youknowmykids

aremiddle-managementmaterialatbest.

Didn'twanttowastealotofmoney--

Yes,Mitchell,it'sgood.

Whytheinterest?

IjustrealizedthatallofLily'sfriends

aregoingtoschoolthisyear,andnowshe'slate.

Don'tworry.Shecanwaitanotheryear.

JustbuyheraBlackberry,

that'sallshe'sgonnawanttodoanyway.

Whatdidshesay?

ShesaystobuyheraBlackberry.

Lilydoesn'thavethedexterityforthat,Claire!

Whatishappening?

Canyoujustcheckwithyourschool

andseeifmaybeyoucangetusin?

Hmm.I-Icanprobablygetyouaninterview.

Oh,no.That'sgreat.That'sgreat.

Thankyou.Ireallyappreciateit.

Oh,and,bytheway,whatdoyouthink

ofthatplaceBillingsleyAcademy?

Ooh.Billingsley.Veryhoity-toity.

Youcan'tgetinthereunlessyou'rereallyrich

oryouknowsomebodyontheboard.

Oh,god,thisisanightmare.

Mitch,it'spreschool.Don'toverthinkit.

Mykidsdidn'tgotoBillingsley,

andtheyarefine.

Ihavetogo.

Phil.

That'sawesome.

-Buenosdias.-Hi.

Wehaven'tformallymet.

I'mGloriaPritchettfromnextdoor.

LarryPaulson.Yeah,I'veseenyou.Mm.

Luckyguy.

Waitaminute,thentellme.

Yourdogdoesn'tstopbarking.

Allmorning,allnight.

Hewakesmysonup,

andheneedshissleep.

It'snotmydog.It'smysoon-to-beex-wife's.

Shemovedoutthreeweeksago.

Isshecomingbackforit?

Notunlessitstartscrappingmoney.

Well,youneedtodosomethingaboutthedog.

Thedogisoldandstupid.

Whoareyoureallymadat,Larry?

Thedogoryourwife?

Whothehellisthiskid?

Hey,there'snoneedforthat.

I'lltellyouwhoheis.

Hisnameis"shutupyourdamndog"!

Youknowwhat'sironic?

AndIhaveneveroncesaidaword

Aboutthatobnoxiousparrotofyours

That'salwayssquawking.

Parrot?

Whatparrot?

Jay!

Whatishetalkingabout?

Whatparrot?

HowthehelldoIknow?

So,whatdowedonow?

Nothing.Wedidit.Heheardus.

Hedidn'thearnothing.

Jay,don'tgo.Jay!

Jay!

Okay,wehavecalledthisfamilymeeting

Becausethepersonalelectronicshavegottenoutofcontrol.

Startingtoday,there'sgoingtobeaone-weekban

-Onallcellphones,texting,-oh!

Im'ing,videochatting,video-gaming,

-Anythingontheinternet.-HowamIsupposedtodomyhomework?

ThewayIdid.

Withachiselandapieceofstone.

-Phil.-Can'tunplugmyfunnybone.

Ihaveahugesciencepaperdue.

Andwehaveagreatsetofencyclopedias...Somewhere.

Whatdoyouthinkthepubliclibraryisfor?

Ithoughtthatwasabathroomforhomelesspeople.

CanIstillplayplantsvs.Zombies?

Areyounotlistening?

-Butyoulearnaboutplants.-Mm-hmm.

Andplantsarelife.

Areyouagainstlife?

HowamIsupposedtotalktomyfriends?

Talktothematschool.

Oratajuicebar.

Oronthehousephone.

Nobodyevenknowsournumber.

Idon'tevenknowournumber.

So,you'resayingdad'snotgoingtogoonline?

-Yep.-Dad?

-That'sright.-Whataboutfantasyfootball?

Notaproblem.Myteam'ssetthisweek.

Iamcompletelyonboard

yourmother'shorseandbuggytoyesteryear.

Forthenextweek,ImayaswellbeAmish.

JebediahDunphy.

Raisingbarns,witnessingmurders,

Makingelectricfireplacehearths.

Oh!

Thisissounfair!

Youknowwhat?

We'regonnamakethisfun.

Turnitintoagame.

Whoeverstaysunpluggedthelongest,wins.

NotwhatIhadinmind,Phil.

-Whatdowewin?

-Whatdoyouwant?

Iwantanewcomputer.

Done

We'regonnagetthemoffofelectronics

withthepromiseofmoreelectronics?

-Iwantchickenpotpie.-Andchicken.

Iwantacar.

-Noway!

-Done!

Yeah,I'mgettingacar!

-Yeah,fun,right?

-Phil!

Wecannotaffordathirdcar.

Relax.They'renevergonnalastaslongasus.

Oh,honey,don'ttakethisthewrongway,

butIhavealmostnofaithinyou.

Joaniewillberightout.

She'sjustfinishingupanotherinterview.

Okay.Thankyou.Thankyou.Thankyou.

-You'rewelcome.-Ireallylikethisplace.

-Lookatallthesedrawings.-Iknow.

Anddidyouseetheduckiesintheyard?

-Lilylovesduckies.-Iknow.

I'mgonnamentionthat.

Okay,well,do,

becausethat'sreallygonnasetherapartfromtherestofthekids.

Weshouldalsomention

howshealwaysperksupwhenwewatch"CharlieRose."

Thatwasonetime.HewasinterviewingElmo.

Youboysoughttorelax.

Oh,I'msorry.

-Wejust--wereallywanttomakeagoodimpression.-Mm.

Gayadoptiveparentswithaminoritybaby?

Sugars,youcangetintoanyschoolyouwant.

Whatwasthat?

Really?

Oh,youdidn'tknowthat?

oh,yeah.

Alloftheseschoolsliketobragabouttheirdiversity.

You'rediversetimesthree.

Indemand.

You'relikeJimmyBuffetttickets

tothesehybrid-driving,straightwhitefolks.

Ihearthat,girl.

Yeah.

I'mcoming!

Wherethehellisthedog?

-Whoisit?

-It'sourneighbor.

Thedogisgone.

Maybeitranaway.

Itwaschainedtoatree.

Maybeyourwifetookit.

Accordingtomycreditcard,mywifeisineurope,

searchingfortheworld'smostexpensivehotel.

Thenwhatdoyouwantfromus?

Youcomeovercomplainingaboutthedog

Andthenextdayit'sgone?

Youtellme.

-I'lltell---howdareyou?

Youcometoourhouse,youringourbellmanytimes,

Andyouaccuseusoftakingyourdog.

Youshouldgohome.

-We'renotdonehere.-Yes,weare.

Whatdidyoudo?

Youdon'twanttoknow.

Gloria'sgrandfatheranduncleswerebutchers,

soshe'salwayshadacertaincomfortlevel

whenitcomesto...Killing.

Onetime,wehadthisrat...

What?

Firstyousmashit,

thenyoucuttheheadoff.

Itwaslikenothingtoher.

Igotochurchnow.

Shelefttheheadoutthere

Tosendamessagetotheotherrats.

-Hey.-Hi,honey.

Howwasyourdayatwork?

Amazing.Mwah.

Great.Whathappened?

Insteadofwastingmylunchhoursurfingtheweb,

checkingfootballstats,

Iputonsomemellowmusic,

andImeditated.

Wow.Forhowlong?

Ihavenoidea.Ijustwokeup20minutesago.

Hey,mom.

Ineedabarofsoapandablackmarkerforanartproject.

Okay.Well,themarker'soverthere,

andthesoapisunderthesink.

Isn'titgreathowmuchtimeyouhave

nowthatyou'renotwastingitonline?

Oh,mygod.Isthiswhatyoualwayssoundlike?

LookwhatIbuilt,dad.Dunphytowers.

200condos,ahappyfamilyineveryone.

Waytogo,buddy.

Igottohandittoyou,honey.

24hourswithoutvideogames,

he'salreadycontributingtosociety.

Die!

Tobefair,he'susinghisimagination.

There'snofireescapes!

Theycutcorners!

I'llcutyourcorners!

Hello?

Oh,hi.Luke,honey,it'sforyou.

Hi,Griffin.Howareyou?

Yeah,he'srighthere.Holdon.

Hey,Griffin.

-Oh,myGod!

-Whathappened?

There'saparasailing-donkeyvideoonYoutube.

Oh,mygod!

Wait,Luke.Whataboutthecontest?

Iquit.

I'mnotmadeofstone,youknow.

Uhh!

Ican'tbelieveit.

Igota"B"onmypaper.

-Goodforyou.-Yeah.

No,itwouldbegoodforyou.

It'sterribleforme.

Thankstoyourmoldyencyclopedias,

mytakeonmitosiswascompletelyoutofdate.

Theydon'tevencallitprotoplasmanymore.

It'scytoplasm.

Well,youcouldhaveaskedoneofus.

Nowyou'remakingjokes?

-I'mnotmakingajoke.-Really?

What'sthedifferencebetweenagameteandazygote?

Don'tfallforit,Claire.

She'sjustmakingupwords.

That'sit.

Ineedtheinternet.

I'moutofyourstupidcontest.

Andthentherewerethree.

She'skindofscary.

We'renotbuyingheracar.

Hey,buddy,whatyouread

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