Ally Mcbeal S02E02剧本.docx

Ally Mcbeal S02E02剧本.docx

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AllyMcbealS02E02剧本

Theunisex.Nelleislookingatherselfinthemirror,adjustingherbun.Shehearsatoiletflushandlookspuzzled.JOHNenterstheunisex. 

JOHN（showinghisremoteflusher）:

Ilikeafreshbowl. 

NELLE:

Iunderstand. 

JOHN:

You'reenjoyingyourselfsofar?

NELLE:

Ohyeah!

Iamactually,yeah,it'sanicegroup.（sheapplieslipstick,JOHNlooksatherandhearsBoomboomboom,boomboomboodoom） 

NELLE:

John?

CanIaskyousomething?

JOHN:

Sure 

NELLE:

Areyou...drawntome?

JOHN（stuttersPoughkep...）:

What?

（heaccidentallypushesthebuttonontheflusherandthetoiletflushesagain）.Whywouldyouaskthat?

NELLE:

Sometimeswomenhaveintuitionsaboutthesethings..PlusRichardtoldme. 

ALLYenterstheunisex. 

NELLE:

IhavecertainrulesaboutdatingmenIworkwith.ButImakethemupasIgoalong.（Sheleaves）. 

ALLY:

It'sofficial.Ihateher. 

JohnentersRichard'sofficeandslamthedoorbehindhim. 

JOHN:

DidyoutellNellePorterIwasdrawntoher?

RICHARD:

Yes.Sorry.Bygones. 

JOHN（puttingapartofhisjacketoverhishead）:

Unacceptable!

WhatItellyouIhaveanexpectationofprivacy!

RICHARD:

John,whichiswhyI'mapologizing.Bygonessquared. 

JOHN（puttingnowallhisjacketoverhishead,coveringitupcompletely）:

NO!

RICHARD:

John,youknowwhoHaroldWickis,Chop-chopontheairways,ofcourseyouknowhim. 

JOHN（frombehindthejacket）:

He'svulgar. 

RICHARD:

We'realsosuinghim,Nelle'sclient,extremelyhotcopy,wehaveanexcellentchancetoboostourprofileanderodethefirstamendmentintheprocess.It'snotoftenwegetacasewhereprinciplecoincideswithprofits,I'mnotabouttotaketimeoutjustbecauseIbreachedsomelittletrustthingyouandI'vegotgoing.We'relateforstaffmeeting.Offwego!

（Richardleaves） 

JOHNispeeringaneyethroughthejacket. 

OpeningCredits. 

Staffmeetingintheconferenceroom. 

BILLY:

Wait,waitjustasecond,thiswoman... 

NELLE:

HernameisLing. 

BILLY:

Ling...She'stheplantmanager. 

RICHARD:

Yes. 

BILLY:

SuingHaroldWick,theguyontheradio?

RICHARD:

Yes. 

BILLY:

DoesHaroldWickhaveanythingtodowiththismanufacturingplant?

RICHARD:

No. 

BILLY:

Thenhow?

WhatamImissing?

NELLE:

Hebroadcastsasexuallychargedprogram,contributingtosexuallychargedworkingenvironmentsallover,especiallyplaceslikemanufacturingplants,dominatedbymaleworkerswiththeIQofmeat. 

GEORGIA:

We're...We'resuingaradiopersonalityforcontributingtosexualharassmentatasteelplant?

NELLE:

Exactly. 

BILLYandGEORGIAlaugh 

BILLY:

Thatis...I'msorry,I'msureyou'reagoodattorney,butasacauseofactionthatislaughoutloudridiculous!

NELLE:

Great!

It'salwaysmorefunwhenIgiveacuteguyagiggleasIgoaboutmybusiness.Icouldactuallyuseanotherbodyonthis,couldyoujumpin?

GEORGIA（angry）:

No!

（sheseesthemlookingallatherandcalmsdown）Youhavethat..thatmotiontocompelonRoberts!

RICHARD:

Allywilldoit. 

ALLY:

What?

RICHARD:

John'sontrial,Georgia'ssecondchair,I'mincharge,thatleaves...you.Weallhavework.Let'smove!

（heleavesthemeeting,asdoJOHN,BILLYandGEORGIA） 

NELLE（toALLY）:

I'llgetyouthefile. 

ALLY:

F..Fine. 

IntheentranceoftheofficeofCage&Fish,LINGiswalkingbehindELAINE. 

LING:

I'mlookingforNellePorter,couldyouhelpmeplease?

ELAINE:

Wellherofficeis.. 

LING:

I'vetriedherofficeshewasn'tthere,hencemyneedforhelp.HaveIcometothewrongperson?

ELAINE:

Youwouldbeher...closestfriend?

LING:

I'maclient. 

NELLE（arriving）:

Ling!

LING:

OhNelle!

（theykissonthecheeks）.Iamextremelyanxious. 

NELLE:

We'llgetthrough!

LING:

Andnowwe'refacinghim,andwhyhaveyouswitchedfirms,youknowhowIamwithchange!

NELLE:

Everythingwillbefine. 

LING:

I..I'mveryanxious,I'm.. 

NELLE:

Ling,it'sjustadeposition.Relax. 

LING（lookingatElainelookingather）:

Maybeit'sjusttoomuchnewness... 

Courtroom.Mantestifying.JOHNandGEORGIAatthedefendant'stable.

RESTAURANTCUSTOMER:

ItwasouranniversarysoIwantedeverythingspecialthat'swhyItookhertoaFrenchrestaurant.WeorderedtheChef'smenuthing. 

MRDALEYATTORNEY:

Chef'smenu?

RESTAURANTCUSTOMER:

It'sasetthing,fishycoldsoup,foilgrass,stuffyouwouldn'torderinamillionyears. 

MRDALEYATTORNEY:

Didtheytellyouwhatyou'reeating,whentheyserveit?

RESTAURANTCUSTOMER:

Wellit'smoretastyinFrench,sowedidn'treallyask.Frenchfriesisgood,butpommesfrites?

Wedidn'treallypressthemonthetranslation. 

MRDALEYATTORNEY:

Buteventuallyyoudid,pressthem?

RESTAURANTCUSTOMER:

Onthemeat,yes.Itwassogood,IsaidIgottaknowwhatkindofcutthisis.That'swhentheytoldme. 

MRDALEYATTORNEY:

Whatwasit?

RESTAURANTCUSTOMER:

Horse. 

MRDALEYATTORNEY:

Horse?

RESTAURANTCUSTOMER:

Asintrigger,asinsecretarial.TheyservedmeandmywifeMr.Ed!

MRDALEYATTORNEY:

Whathappenedwhentheytoldyouwhatyou'djusteaten?

RESTAURANTCUSTOMER:

Ibecamenauseous,asdidmywife. 

MRDALEYATTORNEY:

Werethereanyotherconsequencesforyouandyourwife,besidesnausea?

RESTAURANTCUSTOMER:

Wesufferedsleeplessness,evendepression.We'rebothanimallovers,horseloversinparticular.Theideathatweateone...thatrepulsedus.Stilldoes. 

（Noisesofhorsesgalloping-Everybodylooksatthedefendant'stablewhereJOHNstopsarecording）. 

JOHN:

Iapologize.Oneofmypropswenteerie. 

Cage&Fishentrance.Twomengetoutoftheelevator（oneofthemisHaroldWick）.HaroldWickbumpsintoElaine. 

HAROLDWICK:

Iamsosorry!

ELAINE:

That'sallright.Oh,you'reHaroldWick!

I'mElaineVassal,I'mahugefan!

AlthoughIshouldsayitquietlysincemyofficeissuingyou. 

HAROLDWICK:

Iunderstand. 

HAROLDWICK’SATTORNEY:

We'rehereforthedeposition. 

ELAINE（gesturingbutstilllookingatHAROLDWICK）:

Yeah,it'llbeintheconferenceroom.MayIjustsay,onyourshow,youtalkaboutwomenasifthey'reallcheap.Yousee,myentirelife,I'vebeencheap,anditwasn'tuntilIlistenedtoyourshowthatIrealizedIwasn'taloneintheworld. 

HAROLDWICK:

Oh,well,I'mhappytohavehelped. 

Courtroom,samemantestifying,JOHNiscross-examining 

JOHN:

D'youlikehorses?

RESTAURANTCUSTOMER:

Verymuch. 

JOHN:

Foundthemeattobedelicious,even?

RESTAURANTCUSTOMER:

Idon'tlikeeatingitit'sperverse. 

JOHN:

Youeatcows?

RESTAURANTCUSTOMER:

That'sdifferent. 

JOHN:

Pigs?

RESTAURANTCUSTOMER:

Yesbut... 

JOHN:

HandroastedCornishgamehens?

RESTAURANTCUSTOMER:

Look,I'mnotavegetarianandI'mnotagainsteatingmeat,butahorse,it'sanoblebeast!

JOHN:

D'youevergotothetrack?

RESTAURANTCUSTOMER:

I'vebeen. 

JOHN:

Everscreamedatajockeytowhipthenoblebeastyou'vebettoshow?

MRDALEYATTORNEY:

Objection!

RESTAURANTCUSTOMER:

I'mnotgonnagetintoacrueltydebate.I'msurewecanalltreatcatsanddogsbetterthanwedo,butwe'dnevereatthem.Thatshouldbethesameforhorses. 

JOHN:

Somepeoplemightlikehorsemeat.Shouldn'titbetheindividual'schoice?

Couldn'tyoujustsay"Ne"?

RESTAURANTCUSTOMER:

That'srealfunny.Thepointis,theydidn'ttellme.Ifthey'dtoldme... 

JOHN:

Youwouldhaveorderedthecow. 

Deposition.ConferenceroomatCage&Fish.NELLE,ALLYandLINGononesideofthetable. 

NELLE:

Andyouwouldbeawareofthemaledemographicmake-upofyouraudience?

HAROLDWICK:

Ireallydon'tthinkingraphicterms.Well,sometimes（grins）... 

NELLE:

Isuggestyou'danswerthequestions,Mr.Wick. 

HAROLDWICK:

IthoughtIdid.Bythewayyoudidn'ttellmeyourname?

NELLE:

IthinkIdid. 

HAROLDWICK:

Ohthat'sright,you'reNelle.Ilikethat,Nelle,soundsgoodandnaughty...Andyou'reLing,and（lookingatALLY）...Who'sthespinner?

ALLY:

Hey!

HAROLDWICK’SATTORNEY:

Harold!

NELLE:

Doyouthinkthisisagame?

HAROLDWICK:

Ofcourseit'sagame!

Justbecauseyou'rethishotlittleforeignnumberandyouhiredthesetwolittlenubilelawyersyouthinkI'mgonnapopachubbyandgiveyoumymoney?

Well,OK.Whatareyou,Chinese?

NELLE:

Mr.Wick!

HAROLDWICK’SATTORNEY:

Harold（sametime） 

HAROLDWICK:

LuckyItooksomeViagrawiththeIbuprofen!

LING:

You'rethemoreviolentperson... 

NELLE:

Ling!

HAROLDWICK:

Ma'am,I'msureyou'reaniceperson... 

NELLE:

You'renotgoingtointimidateus,Mr.Wick. 

HAROLDWICK:

（toNELLE）Don'tthinkthatIdon'tknowthat!

Ican'tevenlookatyouwithoutseeingawhip!

（toALLY）Andyou,Ican'tgetabeaton.IjustknowthatI'dliketotakeyouhomeandmakeyoumynastylittlewhore. 

ALLYandNELLEentertheunisex. 

ALLY:

Don'tyouthinkbysuinghimthatwe'regivinghimexactlywhathewants,Imean,thisguylovesthepublicity!

NELLE:

Evenso,we'redoingwhatLingwants. 

ALLY:

ComeonNelle,we'renotgonnawinthis!

NELLE:

Don'tbesosure. 

ALLY:

Oh,oh..Nelle,what..whatisaspinner?

NELLE:

Ithinkitmeans...perkypersonality. 

Downstairsbar.RICHARDandLINGatatable.VONDASHEPARDissinging. 

LING:

Whereisshe?

I'mveryuncomfortablearoundnewpeople. 

RICHARD:

She'llbehere.Tellme,Ling,whenyouresorttothesesexualharassmentlawsuits,doyouworryaboutcomingon,say..weak,vindictive,powerless,littleantwhoneedsthespecialhelp?

Itrunssocontrarytoyourpersonalitywhichseems..vicious.（LINGjustlooksathim）.I'mjustmakingconversationuntil...Nellegetshere. 

LING:

Ifyouonlyknewthethingsthataresaidaboutme. 

RICHARD:

IbetIcouldguess. 

NELLE（arriving）:

Hey!

SorryI'mlate.Whatd