英文诗歌趣说英语发音同形异音.docx

英文诗歌趣说英语发音同形异音.docx

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英文诗歌趣说英语发音同形异音

英文诗歌：

趣说英语发音——同形异音

OurStrangeLingo

（WrittenbyLordCromer,extractswerequoted.）

WhentheEnglishtonguewespeak.

Whyisbreaknotrhymedwithfreak?

Willyoutellmewhyit'strue

Wesaysewbutlikewisefew?

Andthemakeroftheverse,

Cannotrhymehishorsewithworse?

Beardisnotthesameasheard

Cordisdifferentfromword.

Cowiscowbutlowislow

Shoeisneverrhymedwithfoe.

Thinkofhose,dose,andlose

Andthinkofgooseandyetwithchoose

Thinkofcomb,tombandbomb,

Dollandrollorhomeandsome.

Sincepayisrhymedwithsay

WhynotpaidwithsaidIpray?

Thinkofblood,foodandgood.

Mouldisnotpronouncedlikecould.

Whereforedone,butgoneandlone-

Isthereanyreasonknown?

Tosumupall,itseemstome

Soundandlettersdon'tagree.

Poemsshowingtheabsurdities（荒谬）ofEnglishspelling.

Itakeityoualreadyknow

Oftoughandboughandcoughanddough?

Othersmaystumble,butnotyou,

Onhiccough,thorough,loughandthrough?

Welldone!

Andnowyouwish,perhaps,

Tolearnoflessfamiliartraps?

Bewareofheard,adreadfulword

Thatlookslikebeardandsoundslikebird,

Anddead:

it'ssaidlikebed,notbead-

Forgoodnesssakedon'tcallitdeed!

Watchoutformeatandgreatandthreat

（Theyrhymewithsuiteandstraightanddebt）.

Amothisnotamothinmother,

Norbothinbother,brothinbrother,

Andhereisnotamatchforthere

Nordearandfearforbearandpear,

Andthenthere'sdoseandroseandlose-

Justlookthemup-andgooseandchoose,

Andcorkandworkandcardandward,

Andfontandfrontandwordandsword,

Anddoandgoandthwartandcart-

Come,come,I'vehardlymadeastart!

Adreadfullanguage?

Manalive!

I'dmastereditwhenIwasfive!

PhoneyPhonetics.

OnereasonwhyIcannotspell,

AlthoughIlearnedtherulesquitewell

Isthatsomewordslike'coup'and'through'

Soundjustlike'threw'and'flue'and'who';

When'oo'isneverspelledthesame,

The'juice'becomesaguessinggame;

AndthenIponderover'though',

Isitspelled'so',or'throw',or'bow',

Imeanthe'bow'thatsoundslike'plow',

Andnotthe'bow'thatsoundslike'row'-

The'row'thatispronouncedlike'roe'.

Iwonder,too,why'rough'and'tough',

Thatsoundthesameas'gruff'and'muff',

Arespelledlike'bough'and'though',forthey

Arebothpronouncedadifferentway.

Andwhycan'tIspell'trough'and'cough'

ThesameasIdo'scoff'and'golf'?

Whyisn't'drought'spelledjustlike'route',

or'doubt'or'pout'or'sauerkraut'?

Whenwordsallsoundsomuchthesame

Tochangethespellingseemsashame.

Thereisnosense-seesoundlikecents-

inmakingsuchadifference

Betweenthesightandsoundofwords;

Eachspellingrulethatundergirds

Thewayawordshouldlookwillfail

Andoftenprovetonoavail

Becauseexceptionswillnegate

Thetruthofwhattherulemaystate;

SothoughItry,Istilldespair

Andmoanandmutter"It'snotfair

ThatI'mhelduptoridicule

Andmadetolooklikesuchafool".

WHYENGLISHISSOHARDTOLEARN

WemustpolishthePolishfurniture.

Hecouldleadifhewouldgettheleadout.

Thefarmwasusedtoproduceproduce.

Thedumpwassofullthatithadtorefusemorerefuse.

Thesoldierdecidedtodesertinthedesert.

Thiswasagoodtimetopresentthepresent.

Abasswaspaintedontheheadofthebassdrum.

Whenshotat,thedovedoveintothebushes.

Ididnotobjecttotheobject.

Theinsurancewasinvalidfortheinvalid.

Thebandagewaswoundaroundthewound.

Therewasarowamongtheoarsmenabouthowtorow.

Theyweretooclosetothedoortocloseit.

Thebuckdoesfunnythingswhenthedoesarepresent.

Theysentasewerdowntostitchthetearinthesewerline.

Tohelpwithplanting,thefarmertaughthissowtosow.

Thewindwastoostrongtowindthesail.

Afteranumberofinjectionsmyjawgotnumber.

UponseeingthetearinmyclothesIshedatear.

Ihadtosubjectthesubjecttoaseriesoftests.

HowcanIintimatethistomymostintimatefriend?

Ireaditonceandwillreaditagen

Ilearnedmuchfromthislearnedtreatise.

Iwascontenttonotethecontentofthemessage.

TheBlessedVirginblessedher.Blessedherrichly.

It'sabitwickedtoover-trimashortwickedcandle.

Ifhewillabsenthimselfwemarkhimabsent.

Iinclinetowardbypassingtheincline.

CANDIDATEFORAPULLETSURPRISE

Ihaveaspellingchecker,

ItcamewithmyPC.

Itplaneleemarksfourmyrevue

Misssteaksayecanknotsea.

Eyeranthispoemthrewit,

Yoursurereelgladtwono.

Itsvarypolishedinit'sweigh.

Mycheckertolledmesew.

Acheckerisablesssing,

Itfreezeyewlodesofthyme.

Ithelpsmerightawlstilestworeed,

Andaidesmewheneyerime.

Eachfrayscomeposeduponmyscreen

Eyetrussedtoobeeajoule.

Thecheckerpourso'ereveryword

Tochequesumspellingrule.

Beeforeaveilingchecker's

Hourspellingmitedecline,

Andifwe'relacksoarhavealaps,

Wewoodbeemaidtoowine.

Buttnowbeecausemyspelling

Ischeckedwithsuchgrateflare,

Theirareknowfault'swithinmycite,

Ofnuneyeamawear.

Nowspellingdoesknotphaseme,

Itdoesknotbringatier.

Mypaypurrsawlduegladden

Withwrappedword'sfareashear.

Toritewithcareisquiteafeet

Ofwitchwonshouldbeeproud,

Andweemusseddewthebestweecan,

Sewflaw'sareknotaloud.

Sowewecanseawhyayedewprays

Suchsoftwearfourpeaseas,

Andwhyeyebrakeintwoaverse

Buyrightingwanttoopleas.

Eyehalveaspellingchecker

Itcamewithmypeasea

Itplainlymarquesformyrevue

Misssteakseyekinknotsea.

Eyestrikeakeyandtypeaword

Andweightfourittosay

Weathereyeamwrongoarwrite

Itshowsmestraitaweigh.

Assoonasamistacheismaid

Itnosebeeforetwolong

Andeyecanputtheerrorrite

It'srareleaeverwrong.

Eyehaverunthispoemthrewit

Eyeamshoreyourpleasedtwono

It'sletterperfectawltheweigh

Mycheckertolledmesew.

EyeRhymes,byHelenBowyer

Bearanddear

Share,Ifear

Thepointlessdeceptivness

Ofthereandhere.

Someandhome

Tombandcomb,

Sinagainstthetongue

Likefromandwhom.

Howlandbowl

Foulandsoul,

Misleadtheear

Likedollandtoll.

Giveanddive

Liveandthrive,

Bewilderthemoppet

Ofsixorfive.

Loveandhove

Doveandstrove

Soundnomorealike

Thangloveandcove.

Pewandsew

Doandgo

Failexpectation

Likenowandslow.

Laidandsaid

Mustberead

Asiftheyrhymed

WithneighedandNed.

Ibegyourpardon?

Itakeityoualreadyknow

Oftoughandboughandcoughanddough?

Othersmaystumble,butnotyou,

Onhiccough,thorough,loughandthrough?

Welldone!

Andnowyouwish,perhaps,

Tolearnoflessfamiliartraps?

Bewareofheard,adreadfulword

Thatlookslikebeardandsoundslikebird,

Anddead:

it'ssaidlikebed,notbead-

Forgoodnesssakedon'tcallitdeed!

Watchoutformeatandgreatandthreat

（Theyrhymewithsuiteandstraightanddebt）.

Amothisnotamothinmother,

Norbothinbother,brothinbrother,

Andhereisnotamatchforthere

Nordearandfearforbearandpear,

Andthenthere'sdoseandroseandlose-

Justlookthemup-andgooseandchoose,

Andcorkandworkandcardandward,

Andfontandfrontandwordandsword,

Anddoandgoandthwartandcart-

Come,come,I'vehardlymadeastart!

Adreadfullanguage?

Manalive!

I'dmastereditwhenIwas