绝望主妇字幕S215.docx

绝望主妇字幕S215.docx

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绝望主妇字幕S215

Susangotanoffershecouldn’taffordtorefuse.Breerejectedahelpinghand.GabygaveCarlostheanswerhe’dbeenwaitingfor.AndZachbegantoput“A”and“B”together.SusanMayerhadalwaysbelievedthepunishmentshouldfitthecrime.ShefirstcametothisconclusionwhenshediscoveredherhusbandKarlhadbeenunfaithful.SinceKarlhaddestroyedtheloveshehadgivenhim,Susanfeltitwasonlyappropriateshedestroyedthethingshelovedinreturn…onebyone.Butnow,threeyearsaftertheirdivorce,SusanwasreunitedwithKarlonceagain…aspartnersinacrimeoftheirown.Susan,areyoulisteningtome?

Thisisinsurancefraud.Wecouldbothgotojail.Nowwecan’ttellanyonewe’regettingmarried.Iknow.Iwaslisteningtoyou.Nowtheprenup’sallset.Youcamsignitatthecourthouse.11:

30,Wednesdaymorning,right?

Right.Andyoursurgery’sstillonforThursday?

Good.Theinsurancekicksinthemomentwesay“Ido.”You’resettogo.Iknownoone’saskingme,butIthinkthiswholethingisatragicmistake,andIjustdon’thaveitinmetosurviveanotheruglydivorce.Don’tworry,honey.Thistime,itisstrictlyabusinessarrangement.Itbetterbe,becauseifIseesomuchasonelingeringgazebetweenthetwoofyou,IswearI’llgototheinsurancecompanyandturnyouin.Soweshouldn’texpectaweddinggift,huh?

Oh,canyougrabmeyourweddingring?

Iwannagetitcleanedbeforetheceremony.Uh…isthatreallynecessary?

Imean,dowehavetodothewholeringthing?

Ofcoursewedo.It’sgottalookbelievable.Yeah,okay,well,I’lljustgrabsomethingoutofmyjewelrybox.Susan,thatringwasmygrandmother’s.Onedayit’sgonnabeJulie’s.Whereisit?

Idon’tknow…exactly.Thatwasafamilyheirloom.Itrustedyouwithit.Well,Itrustedyounottocheatonmeandbreakmyheart.Oh,mygod.Oh,mygod.Whatdidyoudowithit?

Ithrewitoutmycarwindowsomewhereonroute7.What!

When?

Thenightyouabandonedme.Karl,youaresonotallowedtogetangry.Imean,Imight’vebeentheonetothrowawaytheweddingring,butyouthrewawaythewholemarriage.Therewasplentyofbadbehaviorthatwentonbackthen,sojustgetoffyourhighhorse.We’reonthesamepagenow,soweshouldjustfocusonthat.Yes,SusanMayerbelievedthepunishmentshouldfitthecrime.Karl,Ithinktheremightbesnakesinhere.We’renotleavinghereuntilyoufindthatring.Butforthatmatter,sodidKarl.

ItwasatraditionatLeonardo’sBarandGrill:

anhourbeforeclosingtime,awaiterwouldsingaselectionofridiculouslydepressingItalianArias.Itwasalsoatraditionthattheonlycustomerswhowouldactuallylistenweretheonesalreadydepressedtobeginwith.Tony?

Doyouhavetorushoff?

Ithoughtmaybewecouldjustchatforaminute.So,Ihaven’tseenyouinawhile.Well,Ididn’twannacomeherebecauseIwasafraiditwoulddrudgeupmemoriesofmyhusband.Youknow,thiswasourplace.Rexpassedawayrecently.Hewas,um,murderedbyourpharmacist.Ihopeyouchangedpharmacists.Ididn’thaveto.Hecommittedsuicide.Look,you’vehadalittletoomuchwinetonight.HowaboutIcallyouacab?

Oh,no,no,no.I’mokay.Yourcarwouldbesafeinourlot,andyoucanpickituptomorrow.Please.Well,okay.Tony?

HowmanymoreAriasishegonnasing?

Five.Oh.Inthatcase,whydon’tyoubringmeanotherbottleofthePinotGrigio?

Andpleasehurry.

Bree?

Bree.Youokay?

Yes?

Hi.Uh,didyouknowyourmotherisasleeponthelawn?

Yeah,well,youdon’tseemterriblyshocked.Oh,it’s,um…it’sjust,momdrinks,andsometimesshesleepsitoffintheweirdestplaces.CanIhelpyouwithher?

No,no,it’sokay.I,uh,Iknowhowtotakecareofher.Well,goodlucktoyouthen.

Iwannaplaychopsticks.Metoo.Youokay?

I’mcoming!

Yourkids,theyhaveanyallergiesIshouldknowabout?

Uh,notthatIknowof.Why?

BecauseI’mwatchingthem.Tomcalled,saidyoubothgotpulledintoworkfortheweekend,askedmetobaby-sit.Really?

Ithoughtit’dbeniceifIgavethembacktoyoualive.Oh,hey,Mrs.McCluskey.Hi.Sorry,Iforgottotellyou.Oh,that’sokay.Um…wouldyouexcusemejustforasecond?

Ihavea…thing.Sure.Thanks.Followme.You’repartofthething.Amillionteenagersinthisneighborhood,andyouhireMcCluskey?

What’sthebigdeal?

Well,forstarters,she’sancient!

Shh!

Thisisathindoor!

Itwasthatlongagothatshekeeledoverinherfrontyard.Adaywithourkidswillfinishthejob.Look,it’sonlyforafewhours.Plus,Parker’sonaplaydatewiththeFarrells,soit’sjustthetwinsandPenny.JustthetwinsandPenny?

Okay,thatwasstupid.Letmetrythatanotherway.Wehavetobeatworkinonehour.There’snodaycareontheweekends,soyoucutMcCluskeyloose,andwe’restuck.Wewillfindsomeonewhodoesn’trememberwhattheyweredoingthedayLincolnwasshot.Fine.Let’sgobreakthenews.Mywifehassomethingtotellyou.Sohere’sthedeal.Um,therewasalittlemiscommunication,andasitturnsout,wedon’tneedya.Okay.Fine.I’lljustgobackhome.Okay.Sorry.Bytheway,yourhusbandwasright.It’sathindoor.

Carlos,whatareyoudoing?

Hello,Gabrielle.Hi,mom.IjusttoldCarlosIjusthadtotakeashower.Themannexttomeontheplaneweighed300pounds,andhesweatedmealloverme.Ugh,itwassogross.No,I’mjustsurprisedyou’rehere.It’sValentine’sDay.Don’tyouandMr.HedgeFundhaveplans?

IknowCarlosandIdo.No,IleftCharles.What?

Mm-hmm.Hewasworth,like,$6million.Moneyisnoteverything,Gabrielle.Forsomepeople,butwe’retalkingaboutyounow,mother.Youknow,Ican’tbelievethis.Imean,Ijustwentthroughaterriblebreakup,andatleastyoucoulddoispretendtocare.Well,ofcoursewefeelawfulaboutit.Don’twe,Gabrielle?

Yeah,we’rejustsickaboutit.Well,don’tworryaboutme.Mm-hmm.I’llbeokay.Inface,Iboughtmyselfalittlegifttotakemymindoffmyproblems.Really?

Whatdidyoubuy?

Newboobs!

Nopeeking,Carlos.Okay,mom,puttheseaway!

Myplasticsurgeongavemeagreatdeal.Aren’ttheyfun?

Bye,Carlos.What?

Ithinkshe’scharming.Okay,youcanthinkshe’scharming.Butdon’tforgetforonesecondthatsheisamonster.

Didyougetthegumoutfromunderdiamond?

Mostly.Morning.Hi!

HappyValentine’sDay.Dr.Ron,didyouspendthenight?

Well,uh,yeah,Igotkindatiredafterthemovie,soIasked…It’sokay,sheknowsthatyoumakehousecalls.Oh.Um,solisten.I’vegotsurgeriestill6.I’llgetdressedandI’llpickyouupatabout7.WehavereservationsatChezNaomi.Great!

Iwillhavealittlelunch.Andalso,Dr.Cunningham’sscheduleopenedup,soifyou’dlike,wecanmoveupyoursurgerytoWednesday.Oh,Ihaveaweddingthatday.OnaWednesday?

Uh…yeah.Um,Wednesdaysarebecomingverypopularwithbribes.It’slikethenewSaturday.Oh.Okay.Well,I’llseeyoutonight.Bye.Yourmotherisarotten,sneakyperson.Look,I’mnottoocrazyaboutthewholefakeweddingthing,butifyoudon’thavethatoperation,youcoulddie.Sodon’tbesohardonyourself.Youareagoodperson.Thanks,honey.Thatreallyhelps.Okay,nowIwantyoutogooverandslipthisringtoyourfather.Andjustsoyouknow,ifEdiecatchesyou,I’mexpectingyoutoswallowit.

How’sthehangover?

Idonothaveahandover,Andrew,becauseIwasnotdrunk.Then,uh…howaboutalittlehairofthedog?

It’llperkyourightup.Look,fortherecord,Ihadanallergicreactiontomyantihistaminemedication,soIwouldappreciatejustalittlebitofsympathy.Whycan’tyoujustdrinkaloneinyourroomlikeTammy’smom?

Forgodsakes,itwasanhonestmistake.IthoughtIcouldhavejustalittlebitofwinewithdinner,but,apparently,mybodycouldn’thandleit.Fine!

Ifitmakesanybodyhappy,Iwilljustsufferthroughmysneezingfitsandmyhivesonmyown.There.Isthatbetter?

Sobasicallyyouwouldratherdrinkthantonothaveallergies?

Hi.Isnowabadtime?

Icouldreallyuseafavor.

Shewasbeautiful,wasn’tshe?

Yeah.Comeon,sitdown.Yourbreakfastisgettingcold.Wasmyrealmotherbeautiful?

Well,shewas,uh,attractive,asIrecall.DoIlooklikeher?

Idon’tknow.Ionlymetheronce.Oh.Well,becauseifIdon’tlooklikeher,thenImightlooklikemyrealdad.I’mgettingreallytiredofyourmorbidfascinationwithtwostrangerswhodidn’tloveyouenoughtokeepyou.So,please,stopaskingaboutthem.It’sonlynaturalthatI’dwannatalkaboutmybirthparents.Well,itmaybenatural,butitcertainlyisn’tpolite.

Andonceyourdaughterwasdead,theyhadtogetridofhersomehow.That’swherethetoychestcamein.Flashforward15years,thechestwashesupontheShoreofRockwaterLake,anyforensicevidenceislonegone,andtheYoungsgetawaywithmurder.Now,ofcourse,thewife,MaryAlice,isalreadydead,but…PaulYoung’sadifferentmatter.Ifyou’dlikemetodealwithhim,justsaytheword.Delfino’sbringingmygrandsonhere.Iwannagetthekidsomething.YouknowanythingaboutthoseMP3things?

Yeah,they’rerealnice.I’dgowiththat.Ah,he’sprobablygotonealready.PaulYounghashad16yearstogetmygrandkidanythinghewants.Domeafavor,willya?

Yeah.SeetoitthatPaulYounghasatoychestofhisveryown.

Karl!

Yeah?

Thisplaceisafreakingpigsty.Wouldyougetdownhereandhelpme?

Allright,holdon,it’salmosthalftime.Bytheway,ImadedinnerreservationsatChezNaomitonight,ifthat’sokay.It’sgottabebetterthanthatratholeyoutookmetoonNewYear’s.Anddon’teventhinkofgettingmecarnationsagain.ThatcrapmighthaveflownforMayer.Iactuallyhavetaste.Comeon!

Moveit!

Allright,I’mcoming.No!

No,no,no.Sitandwatchthegame.Iwasjustgivingyouahardtime.You’vehadatoughwee