英语短文笑话带翻译教案资料Word文档下载推荐.docx
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Ahusband,provingtohiswifethatwomentalkmorethanmen,showedherastudywhichindicatedthatmenuseonaverageonly15000wordsaday,whereaswomenuse30000wordsaday.Shethoughtaboutthisforawhileandthentoldherhusbandthatwomenusetwiceasmanywordsasmenbecausetheyhavetorepeateverythingtheysay.
Hesaid,"
What?
丈夫给妻子看了一项调查结果,为了向她证明女人比男人啰嗦。
研究表明男人平均每天使用15000个字,而女人每天使用30000个。
妻子想了一会儿说,女人每天说的字数是男人的两倍,因为她们必须重复已经说过的话。
他问:
什么?
3
Boy:
Isthisseatempty?
Girl:
Yes,andthisonewillbeifyousitdown.
男孩:
这个座位是空的么?
女孩:
是的,如果你坐下,我的座位也将是空的。
4、
Tom,what'
sthematterwithyourbrother?
askedthemotherinthekitchen."
He'
scrying."
Oh,nothing,Mum,"
repliedTom."
I'
meatingmycake.HeiscryingbecauseIwon'
tgivehimany."
Buthashefinishedhisowncake?
Yes."
saidTom."
AndhealsocriedwhenIwashelpinghimfinishthat."
汤姆,你弟弟怎么了?
妈妈在厨房里问。
他在哭。
没事儿,妈妈,"
汤姆答道。
我在吃我的蛋糕。
他哭是因为我不给他吃。
他已经吃完自己的了么?
是的。
"
我帮他吃完时,他也哭了。
2009-6-7
Aguysaystohisfriend,"
GuesshowmanycoinsIhaveinmypocket."
Thefriendssays,"
IfIguessright,willyougivemeoneofthem?
Thefirstguyssays,"
Ifyouguessright,I'
llgiveyoubothofthem!
路人甲对路人乙说,"
猜猜我兜里有几个子儿?
路人乙说:
我猜对了,你能给我一个不?
路人甲说:
你要猜对了,我两个全部给你!
2009-6-6研究生和本科生的区别
Icanalwaystellagraduateclassfromanundergraduateclass,"
saidaninstructoratauniversitygraduateengineeringcourse."
WhenIsay'
Goodafternoon,'
theundergraduatesrespond'
Goodafternoon.'
Butthegraduatestudentsjustwriteitdown."
一个教师在研究生工程学课堂上说:
我一眼就能看出来哪些是本科生,哪些是研究生。
我说'
下午好'
的时候,本科生回答'
,而研究生则把这句话记在本子上。
2009-6-5
Dad:
Tom,pleasetellme,whichmonthhas28days?
Tom:
Everymonth.
爸爸:
告诉我汤姆,哪个月有28天呢?
汤姆:
每个月都有啊!
2009-6-4makingfaces
Findingoneofherstudentsmakingfacesatothersontheplayground,MsSmithstoppedtogentlyreprimandthechild.Smilingsweetly,theSundayschoolteachersaid,"
Bobby,whenIwasachildIwastoldifImadeuglyfaces,myfacewouldfreezeandstaylikethat"
.Bobbylookedupandreplied,"
Well,MsSmith,youcan'
tsayyouweren'
twarned."
史密斯小姐发现她的一名学生在操场上向别人做鬼脸,便去轻责他。
这位主日学校的老师甜甜地微笑着,说:
博比,我小的时候,有人告诉我如果我做鬼脸,我的脸就会僵硬,永远都那么丑。
博比抬头看了看老师,说:
史密斯小姐,你可别说没人警告过你啊。
2009-6-3
Aguygoestovisithisgrandmaandhebringshisfriendwithhim.
Whilehe'
stalkingtohisgrandma,hisfriendstartseatingthepeanutsonthecoffeetable,andfinishesthemoff.
Asthey'
releaving,hisfriendsaystohisgrandma,"
Thanksforthepeanuts."
Shesays,"
Yeah,sinceIlostmydenturesIcanonlysuckthechocolateoff."
一名男子带着朋友去探望他的祖母。
当他和祖母聊天时,他的朋友开始吃咖啡桌上放的花生,并把花生都给吃光了。
他们离开时,他的朋友对祖母说:
谢谢您的花生。
结果祖母说:
唉!
自从我牙齿掉光后,我就只能吮掉花生豆外层的巧克力了。
2009-6-2
Afatherwastryingtoteachhissontheevilsofalcohol.
Heputoneworminaglassofwaterandanotherworminaglassofwhiskey.Theworminthewaterlived,whiletheoneinthewhiskeycurledupanddied.
Allright,son,"
askedthefather,"
Whatdoesthatshowyou?
Well,Dad,itshowsthatifyoudrinkalcohol,youwillnothaveworms."
一位父亲打算让自己的儿子知道酒精有多么可怕。
他把分别把两只虫子放到一杯清水和一杯威士忌里做对比。
清水里虫子安然无恙,结果威士忌里的虫子蜷缩了几下就挂掉了。
所以,儿子啊,"
父亲问道,"
得出什么结论?
恩,这说明,你只要喝酒的话,肚里就不会长虫了!
2009-6-1
Lookingveryunhappy,apoormanenteredadoctor'
sconsulting-room.
Doctor,"
hesaid,"
youmusthelpme.Iswallowedapennyaboutamonthago."
Goodheavens,man!
saidthedoctor."
Whyhaveyouwaitedsolong?
Whydon'
tyoucometomeonthedayyouswallowedit?
Totellyouthetruth,Doctor,"
thepoormanreplied,"
Ididn'
tneedthemoneysobadlythen."
中文翻译:
一个看起来很难受的穷人走进大夫的诊室。
大夫!
他说,"
帮帮我!
一个月前我吞了一分硬币!
天哪,"
大夫说,"
早干嘛去了?
你当时怎么不来看?
实话告诉您吧,大夫,"
穷人说,"
我当时还不缺钱!
2009-5-31
Hi,didn'
twegoondatesbefore?
Onecortwice?
Must'
vebeenonce.Inevermakethesamemistaketwice.
嗨,我们之前是不是约会过,是一次还是两次,我忘记了。
应该只有一次吧,我从不犯两次同样的错误。
2009-5-30
Inanentranceexaminationofaconservatoryofmusic,ateacheraskedoneoftheboys,"
Whatisthemostimportantphysiologicalqualityofamusician?
Tobedeaf,"
repliedtheboy.
Nonsense!
saidtheteacherangrily.
Why,sir!
Don'
tyouknowthatthefamousmusicianBeethovenwasdeaf?
theboyaskedinreplydisdainfully.
在一次音乐学院的入学考试中,老师问其中一个男孩:
音乐家最重要的生理素质是什么?
耳聋,"
男孩答道。
胡说!
老师气愤地说。
怎么了,先生!
难道您不知道大名鼎鼎的音乐家贝多芬是个聋子吗?
男孩轻蔑地反问道。
2009-5-28
Amansatatabar,hadthesaddesthangdogexpression.
Bartender:
What'
sthematter?