THE FAMILY SYSTEM of CHINA.docx

THE FAMILY SYSTEM of CHINA.docx

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THEFAMILYSYSTEMofCHINA

THEFAMILYSYSTEMOFCHINA

Therewereformerlynosuchwordsas"familysystem"asasociologicalterm;weknewthefamilyonlyas"thebasisofthestate,"orratherasthebasisofhumansociety.Thesystemcolorsalloursociallife.Itispersonal,asourconceptionofgovernmentispersonal.Itteachesourchildrenthefirstlessonsinsocialobligationsbetweenmanandman,thenecessityofmutualadjustment,self-control,courtesy,asenseofduty,whichisverywelldefined,asenseofobligationandgratitudetowardparents,andrespectforelders.Itverynearlytakestheplaceofreligionbygivingmanasenseofsocialsurvivalandfamilycontinuity,thussatisfyingman'scravingforimmortality,andthroughtheancestralworshipitmakesthesenseofimmortalityveryvivid.Itbreedsasenseoffamilyhonor,forwhichitissoeasytofindparallelsintheWest.

Ittouchesuseveninverypersonalways.Ittakestherightofcontractingmarriagefromourhandsandgivesittothoseofourparents;itmakesusmarry,notwivesbut“daughters-in-law”,anditmakesourwivesgivebirth,nottochildrenbutto"grandchildren,"Itmultipliestheobligationsofthebrideahundredfold.Itmakesitrudeforayoungcoupletoclosethedooroftheirroominthefamilyhouseinthedaytime,andmakesprivacyanunknownwordinChina.Liketheradio,itaccustomsustonoisyweddings,noisyfunerals,noisysuppersandnoisysleep.Andliketheradio,itbenumbsournervesanddevelopsourgoodtemper.TheWesternmanislikeamaidenwhohasonlyherselftolookafter,andwhoconsequentlymanagestolookneatandtidy,whiletheChinesemanislikethedaughter-in-lawofabigfamilywhohasathousandandonehouseholdobligationstoattendto.Itthereforebreedsinussobernessatanearlyage.Itkeepsouryoungintheirplaces.Itoverprotectsourchildren,anditisstrangehowfewchildrenrebelandrunawaywheretheparentsaretopself-centeredandautocratic,itoftendeprivestheyoungmanofenterpriseandinitiative,andIconsiderthisthemostdisastrouseffectofthefamilysystemonChinesecharacter.Aparent'sfuneralinterfereswithascholar'schancesattheofficialexaminationsforthreeyears,andisgoodgroundfortheresignationofacabinetminister.

Familyethicsinterferesevenwithourtravelandsport,forthetheorywasdevelopedintheXiaojing,orClassicofFilialPiety（whicheveryschoolboyusedtomemorize）,that"thebody,thehairandtheskinarereceivedfromtheparentsandmaynotbeinjured."Zengzi,thegreatdiscipleofConfucius,saidonhisdeathbed,"Examinemyhands,examinemyfeet,"whichhadbeenkeptintacttoreturntohisforefathers.Thisalreadybordersonareligiousfeeling.Itlimitsourtravels,forConfuciussaid"Amandoesnottraveltodistantplaceswhenhisparentsareliving,andifhedoeshemusthaveadefinitedestination."Thebestformoftravel,i.e.travelwithoutdestinationandwithouthopingtoarriveanywhere,isthereforetheoreticallyimpossible.Thefilialson"doesnotclimbhigh,anddoesnottreadondangerousplaces."ThereisthereforenotasinglefilialsonintheAlpineClub.

Inshort,thefamilysystemisthenegationofindividualismitself,anditholdsamanback,asthereinsofthejockeyholdbackthedashingArabianhorse.Sometimesthejockeyisgood,andthenhehelpsthehorsetowintherace,butsometimesheisnotsogood.Sometimesitisnotajockeythatisholdingthehorsebackbutmerelyarefusecart.Butthen,ChinesesocietyhasnouseforfineArabianthoroughbreds,thebestproofofwhichisthatwehavenotproducedthem.Wemurderthem,assassinatethem,houndthemintothemountains,orsendthemintotheasylum.Wewantonlysteady,ploddingdraughthorses.Andwegetplentyofthem.

TheDoctrineofSocialStatus,asConfucianismhasbeenpopularlycalled,isthesocialphilosophybehindthefamilysystem.ItisthedoctrinethatmakesforsocialorderinChina.Itistheprincipleofsocialstructureandsocialcontrolatthesametime.Theprincipalideaisstatus,ormingfen,whichgiveseverymanandwomanadefiniteplaceinsociety.Inconformitywiththehumanistidealof"everythinginitsplace,"thesocialidealisalsothatof"everymaninhisplace."Mingmeans"name,"andfenmeans"duty."Confucianismisactuallyknownasmingwei,or"religionofnames."Anameisatitlethatgivesamanhisdefinitestatusinanysocietyanddefineshisrelationshipswithothers.Withoutaname,oradefinitionofthesocialrelationship,amanwouldnotknowhisfen,ordutiesinthatrelationship,andhencewouldnotknowhowtobehave.TheConfucianideaisthatifeverymanknowshisplaceandactsinaccordancewithhisposition,socialorderwillbeensured.Ofthe"fivecardinalhumanrelationships",fourareoccupiedwiththefamily.Theyaretherelationshipsbetweenkingandsubject,betweenfatherandson,betweenhusbandandwife,andthosebetweenbrothersandbetweenfriends.Thelastrelationshipbetweenfriendsmaybeidentifiedwiththefamily,becausefriendsarethosewhocanbeincludedinthefamilycircle-----“familyfriends".Thefamilythenbecomesthestarting-pointforallmoralconduct.

ItisonlyfairtomentionthatConfuciusneverintendedfamilyconsciousnesstotaketheplaceofsocialornationalconsciousnessanddevelopintoaformofmagnifiedselfishness----consequenceswhich,withallhispracticalwisdom,hehadnotforeseen.TheevilsofthefamilysystemwerealreadyapparentinthetimesofHanFeizi（endofthethirdcenturyB.C.）,inmyopinionthegreatestofChina'spoliticalthinkersofthatperiod.PicturesofthepoliticalpracticesofhistimescontainedinHanFeizi'sworksfitinperfectlyforpresent-dayChina,suchasthebreakingdownofthecivilservicesystemthroughnepotismandfavoritism,robbingthenationtoenrichthefamily,theerectionofrichvillasbypoliticians,theabsenceofanypunishmentforoffendingofficials,theconsequentabsenceof"publiccitizenship"（inHanFeizi'sownwords）andgenerallackofsocialconsciousness.ThesewereallpointedoutbyHanFeizi,whoadvocatedagovernmentbylawasthewayout,andwhohadtodrinkhemlock,likeSocrates.

But,intheoryatleast,Confuciusdidnotmeanfamilyconsciousnesstodegenerateintoaformofmagnifiedselfishnessatthecostofsocialintegrity.Hedid,inhismoralsystem,alsoallowforacertainamountofultra-domestickindness.Hemeantthemoraltraininginthefamilyasthebasisforgeneralmoraltraining,andheplannedthatfromthegeneralmoraltrainingasocietyshouldemergewhichwouldlivehappilyandharmoniouslytogether.Onlyinthissensecanoneunderstandthetremendousemphasisplacedon"filialpiety,”whichisregardedasthe"firstofallvirtues".

Confuciussaid:

"Thereasonwhythegentlemanteachesfilialpietyisnotbecauseitistobeseeninthehomeandeverydaylife.Heteachesfilialpietyinorderthatmanmayrespectallthosewhoarefathersintheworld.Heteachesbrotherlinessintheyoungerbrother,inorderthatmanmayrespectallthosewhoareelderbrothersintheworld.Heteachesthedutyofthesubject,inorderthatmanmayrespectallwhoarerulersintheworld."

Again,Confuciussaid:

"Thosewholovetheirparentsdarenotshowhatredtoothers.Thosewhorespecttheirparents,darenotshowrudenesstoothers."

InthissensehecouldsaytoZengzi,hisdisciple:

"Filialpietyisthebasisofvirtue,andtheoriginofculture.Sitdownagain,andletmetellyou.Thebodyandhairandskinarereceivedfromtheparents,andmaynotbeinjured:

thisisthebeginningoffilialpiety*Todotherightthingandwalkaccordingtotherightmorals,thusleavingagoodnameinposterity,inordertoglorifyone'sancestors:

thisistheculminationoffilialpiety.Filialpietybeginswithservingone'sparents,leadstoservingone'sking,andendsinestablishingone'scharacter."

Thewholemoralphilosophywasbasedonthetheoryofimitationinsocietyandthetheoryofhabitineducation.Themethodofsocialeducationwasbyestablishingtherightmentalattitudefromchildhood,beginningnaturallyathome.Thereisnothingwronginthis.Itsonlyweaknesswasthemixingofpoliticswithmorals.Theconsequencesarefairlysatisfactoryforthefamily,butdisastrousforthestate.

Seenasasocialsystem,itwasconsistent.Itfirmlybelievedthatanationofgoodbrothersandgoodfriendsshouldmakeagoodnation.Yet,seeninmoderneyes,Confucianismomittedoutofthesocialrelationshipsman'ssocialobligationstowardthestranger,andgreatandcatastrophicwastheomission.Samaritanvirtuewasunknownandpracticallydiscouraged.Theoretically,itwasprovidedforinthe"doctrineofreciprocity."Confuciussaidofthegentleman:

"Wantingtobesuccessfulhimself,hehelpsotherstobesuccessful;wantingtostandonhisownfeet,hehelpsotherstostandontheirfeet."Butthisrelationshiptowardthe"others"wasnotoneofthefivecardinalrelationships,andnotsoclearlydefined.Thefamily,withitsfriends,becameawalledcastle,withthegreatestcommunisticco-operationandmutualhelpwithin,butcoldlyindifferenttoward,andfortifiedagainst,theworldwithout.Intheend,asitworkedout,thefamilybecameawalledcastleoutsidewhicheverythingislegitimateloot.

家庭制度

中国以前并没有“家庭制度”这样的社会学措词，我们只知道家庭是“国家的基础”，或者说，是人类社会的基础。

这种制度给我们所有的社会生活增添了色彩。

这种制度是与个人有关的，正如我们有关政府的观念一样，是带有个人感情色彩的。

家庭制度教导我们的孩子们的第一课就是人与人之间的社会责任，相互适应的必要，自制、礼节，明确的义务感，对父母感恩图报和对师长谦逊尊敬。

这种制度几乎取代了宗教的地位，给人一种社会存在感与家族延续的感觉，从而满足人们永生的愿望。

通过对祖先的崇拜，这种制度使得人们永生的愿望变得极为真切。

家庭制度培植了家族的荣耀感，相似的荣誉感在西方也颇为常见。

家庭制度甚至还可以涉足于个人事务。

它从我们手中夺去了缔结婚姻的权利，把这种权利给了我们的父母；它让我们与“媳妇”结婚而不是与妻子结婚；它使