老友记第八季英文剧本.docx
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老友记第八季英文剧本
801TheOneAfter"IDo"
[Scene:
TheWeddingHall,MonicaandChandlerhavejustsaid"Ido,"andthephotographeristakingtherequiredpictures.FirstofMonica,Chandler,RossandJoey.]
Photographer:
Great.(Takesapicture.)Great!
Justgivemeasectochangefilm.
Monica:
Okay.
Ross:
(ToMonica)Okay,IknowI’mnotsupposedtoknow,butIdo.AndI’msoexcitedforyou!
Joey:
What?
What’sgoingon?
Ross:
Monica’spregnant!
Joey:
OhmyGod!
Isthatwhyyouguyshadtogetmarried?
!
Monica:
Guys!
I’mnotpregnant.
Joey:
Ah.(ToChandler)Slowswimmers?
(Chandlerlooksathim.)
Ross:
What?
!
Whatdoyoumean?
You-you-you’renotpregnant?
Monica:
Youdidn’ttellanybodyIwasdidyou?
!
Ross:
No!
(Pause)I’llberightback.(Exits.)
Photographer:
Nowwhydon’twegetashotofjustMonicaandthebloodysoldier.
Monica:
(ToJoey)Oh,aboutthat.Joey,youhavetochangebeforetheparty.
Joey:
Ican’t!
I-Idon’thaveanyotherclotheshere.
Monica:
Findsome!
Please!
Anythingthatdoesn’tsayI-IdiedtragicallyinFrance.(Joeyleavestofindclothes.)
Photographer:
Wellthenwhydon’tweseethebrideandthegroomandthebridemaids.
Phoebe:
Okay.(PhoebeandRacheljoinMonicaandChandleronthealtar.)HeyMon,whydidyoutelltheguysyouweren’tpregnant?
Monica:
BecauseI’mnot.
Phoebe:
Wefoundyourtestinthetrash,ifyou’renotpregnant—(SheseesRachelshakingherhead)—It’sbecauseIam.
(Flash,thephotographertakesapictureofMonicaandChandler’sstunnedfaces.)
Chandler:
What?
!
Whatareyoutalkingabout?
Monica:
Whatareyoutalkingabout?
Phoebe:
Yes,I…Iamwithchild.(Flash)AndIdidn’twanttosayanythingbecauseit’syourday;Ididn’twanttostealyourthunder.
Monica:
Waitaminute!
SoyoutoldpeopleIwaspregnant?
!
(Flash)DoesthislooklikeaconversationthatIwanttoremember?
!
Chandler:
Who’sthefather?
Monica:
Yeah!
Phoebe:
Ican’tsay.
Monica:
Why?
!
Chandler:
Whynot?
Phoebe:
Ican’tsaybecausehe’sfamous.
Rachel:
OhmyGod,whoisit?
!
(Phoeberollshereyes.)
Monica:
Phoebe,comeon,youhavetotellus.
Phoebe:
Okay,okay.It’sJamesBrolin.JamesBrolinisthefatherofmybaby.
Chandler:
AsinBarbaraStreisand’shusbandJamesBrolin?
Phoebe:
What?
!
Wellheneversaidthattome!
OpeningCredits
[Scene:
TheWeddingHall,continuedfromearlier.]
Photographer:
Whydon’twehaveMonicastepawayandwe’llgetChandlerandthebridemaids.
Phoebe:
Howaboutjustthebridemaids?
Chandler:
Y’knowIamthegroomright?
Iwastolditwaskindabigdeal.
Phoebe:
Itis.
Rachel:
Foryou.(Chandlerleaves.)
Phoebe:
OhmyGod!
Rachel:
Oh,thankyoufordoingthat.Ijustcan’tdealwiththisjustquiteyet.
Phoebe:
SoinsteadyoutoldmeMonicawaspregnant.
Rachel:
Yousaidthatshewas,Ijustdidn’tdisagreewithyou.
Phoebe:
Sneaky.
Rachel:
Ohyeah.
Photographer:
Smileladies.
Rachel:
Oh!
(Theysmileandthepictureistaken.)Ohbytheway?
Phoebe:
Uh-hmm.
Rachel:
JamesBrolin?
Phoebe:
Oh,Iknow.Icouldonlythinkoftwonames,himandEdBegleyJr.andthenIrememberedhe’sgay.
Rachel:
EdBegleyJr.isnotgay.
Phoebe:
(intrigued)Really?
!
[Scene:
TheReceptionHall,thepartyisinfullswing.]
Bandleader:
Thankyouverymuch!
Ladiesandgentlemen,itgivesmegreatpleasuretointroducetoyoufortheveryfirsttime,Mr.andMrs.ChandlerBing!
(Theyenter.)
Chandler:
BeforewegooutthereI’vegotapresentforya.
Monica:
Honey,I’mgoingtoputmyhandinyourpocket!
Chandler:
No?
Monica:
No.
Chandler:
I’vebeentakingdancinglessons.
Monica:
What?
!
Chandler:
Yeah,thelastsixweeks.Iwantedthistobeamomentyouwillneverforget.
Monica:
Ohthatissosweet!
Chandler:
So?
Wouldyoucaretojoinmeinourfirstdanceashusbandandwife?
Monica:
Yes.
(TheywalkontothedancefloorandChandlerslipsandalmostfalls.)
Monica:
What’sthematter?
Chandler:
Idon’tknow,it’sthesenewshoes,they’reallslippery.
Monica:
Well,areyougoingtobeabletodothis?
Chandler:
Notwell.
(TheystartdancingandChandlerstartsslippingaround.)
Monica:
Well,thegoodnewsis,Idon’tthinkanyone’slookingatus.
[CuttoPhoebeandRachelattheirtable.]
Phoebe:
So,areyoureadytotalkaboutit?
Rachel:
No.
(Pause)
Phoebe:
Now?
Rachel:
No!
Phoebe:
Okay,we’lltalkaboutsomethingelsethen.
Rachel:
Thankyou.
Phoebe:
Who’sthefather?
!
Rachel:
Ugh!
Lookhoneyy’knowwhat?
Ihaven’ttoldhimyet,sountilIdoIdon’tthinkIshouldtellanybodyelse.
Phoebe:
Yeah.That’sfine.That’sfair.IsitTag?
Rachel:
Phoebe!
!
Phoebe:
Okay,I’msorry.I’llstop.
Rachel:
Okay.
Phoebe:
IsitRoss?
It’sRossisn’tit—OhmyGod,it’sJoey!
Rachel:
Honey,stopit!
IamnotgoingtotellyouuntilItellhim.
Phoebe:
Ah-hah!
Atleastweknowit’sahim.
[CuttoJoeyenteringwearingapreppytennisoutfit.]
Monica:
(seeinghim)OhsweetLord.
Joey:
I’msorry!
Okay?
Iwentdowntothegiftshopandit’seitherthisorabathrobe!
Look,what’smoreimportant,thewayI’mdressedormebeingwithyouonyourspecialday?
Monica:
Honey,I’mnotevengoingtopretendIwaslistening.(Seessomeoneelse.)Hey!
Hey!
(Goesovertothatperson.)
[Cuttothehallwayoutsidetheroom,Rossisgoingtoseewhichtablehe’satandseesabeautifulwomandoingthesamething.]
Ross:
Hi.I’muh,I’mRoss.Idon’t,Idon’tbelievewe’vemet.I’mMonica’solderbrother.
Woman:
Ohhi,I’m,I’mMonafromherrestaurant.
Ross:
Oh!
Hellouh,Monafromherrestaurant.(Heuseshiscardtomouththosewords.)(Pause)Mona,wowwhata,whatabeautifulname.
Mona:
Youthinkso?
I’vealwayskindahatedit.
Ross:
Awcomeon,MonaLisa?
Mona:
Uh-huh.
Ross:
Monaumm…Clickclocken.Thefamousbotanist?
Huh?
Ohnoshe’suh—wellshe’sdeadnow.No,supposedlyshewasoncequitethehottieoftheplantworld.
Mona:
Really?
!
Wellsee?
Ineverknewabouther.
Ross:
LindaClickclocken.(Pause)Sowhatuh,what-whattableareyouat?
(Sheshowshim.)Oh,uhmetoo.
Mona:
Ohgood.Nowthere’llbesomeonetherewholikesmyname.
Ross:
(sexily)Yestherewill.(MonaleavesandRosstriestofindthesametable.)Ohguesswhat,MollyGilbertyou’vejustbeenbumpeduptotableone.Andifit’sallrightwithyouI’mgonnatakeyourplaceattablesix—MartinClickclocken.
[CutbackinsidetoJoeygivingabeautifulwomanatennislessonbystandingbehindher.]
Joey:
That’sbetter,nowjustbendyourarmsalittlemore.Thereyougo.Okay,lookstraightahead.NowthistimeIwantyoutoreallyputyourassintoit.(Theydoapracticeswingandshereallyputsherassintoit.)
[CuttoChandlersittingdownnearJoeyashismomwalksover.Hisbirthmother,notthemotherwhorecentlyvisitedoneofthoseclinicsinSweden.]
Mrs.Bing:
Chandlerdarling!
Look,mydatehasfinallyarrived.I’dlikeyoutomeetDennisPhillips.
DennisPhillips:
Congratulations.
Chandler:
Thankyou.
Mrs.Bing:
Dennisisadearoldfriendandafantasticlover.
Chandler:
BravoDennisthanksforpleasingmymotherso.
DennisPhillips:
Oh,I’msosorryImissedtheceremony,Iwasstuckatauditions.
Mrs.Bing:
Ohyes,DennisisdirectinganewBroadwayshow.
Joey:
Idon’tbelievewe’vemet,JoeyTribbiani.
DennisPhillips:
DennisPhillips
Joey:
Wow,I’veadmiredyourworkforyears.You-you’vedonesomereallyamazingstuff.
DennisPhillips:
Oh,thankyou.Wellifyou’llexcuseme,I’mgonnagogetmyselfadrink.Bebackinamoment.(Walksaway.)
Joey:
WowDennisPhillips!
That’sgreat!
Howdidyouguysmeet?
Mrs.Bing:
Well,it’safunnystory.
Chandler:
Funny:
ha-haorfunny:
(Mimesblowinghisbrainout.)
[Timelapse.Thebandisfinishinganothersong.]
Bandleader:
Thankyou,thankyouverymuch.Ifeveryonewillpleasetakeyourseats,dinnerwillbeserved.
(Rossstartslookingfortablesixandfindsoutthatit’sthekid’stable.HeseesMonasittingatanothertable.)
Ross:
Hey!
Uh,Ithought,Ithoughtyouwereattablesix.
Mona:
No,nine.(Showshimthecardagain.)
Ross:
Ohsee,beforeyouuh,whenyoushowedittomeyou-youhelditthatway(heturnsherhandupsidedown)whichuh,whichwasmisleading.WellI’m…(Hegoesatsitsdownathisnewtableandthekidsstareathim.)Hello.
[Cuttothehallway,Chandlerisputtingtapeonthebottomofhisshoes.]
Joey:
Chandler.WillyouseeifyourmomcangivemyresumetoDennisPhillips?
‘CauseifIcangetinaBroadwayshowthenIwould’vedoneitall,film,television,andtheater.Theonlythinkleftwouldberadio,andthat’sjustforuglypeople.
Chandler:
Whatsizeshoesdoyouwear?
Joey:
Uh,eleven,elevenandahalf.
Chandler:
Great,becausemyshoesaregivingmealittleproblemonthedancefloor,canIborrowthebootsfromyourcostume?
Joey:
Uh,Idon’tevenreallyknowwhereIleftthose.Sorry.
Chandler:
(lookingatJoey’sfeet)Thosearen’televenandahalf.
Joey:
Okayfine!
I’maseven!
Allright,Ihavesurprisinglysmallfeet.Buttherestofmeisgood,I’llshowya!
[CuttoMonicaandRachelattheirtable.]
Monica:
CanyoubelievePhoebegotpregnant?
!
Rachel:
Ohy’knowwhathoney?
Let’snottalkaboutthatrightnow?
Monica:
Thisissohuge.
Rachel:
Sure,butcomeon,asbigasyourwedding?
Monica:
Ofcoursenotnothingis.Betweenmeandyou…
Rachel:
Yeah.
Monica:
…inthisdayandagehowdumbdoyouhavetobetogetpregnant?
Rachel:
Hey!
Y’know,sometimesyoucandoeverythingright,everyonecanweareverythingthey’resupposedtowear,andoneofthoselittleguysjustgetsthrough!
Monica:
How?
Rachel:
Idon’tknow!
Maybetheyhavetools.
Monica:
WellI-Italkedtoanduh,she’sdefinitelygoingtohavethisbaby.Y’know,shesaidshewasgonnaraiseitonherown.
Rachel:
Well,maybethat’s,maybethat’sreallybrave.
Monica:
Maybe.Ijusthopesherealizes