老友记第八季英文剧本.docx

老友记第八季英文剧本.docx

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老友记第八季英文剧本

801TheOneAfter"IDo"

[Scene:

TheWeddingHall,MonicaandChandlerhavejustsaid"Ido,"andthephotographeristakingtherequiredpictures.FirstofMonica,Chandler,RossandJoey.]

Photographer:

Great.（Takesapicture.）Great!

Justgivemeasectochangefilm.

Monica:

Okay.

Ross:

（ToMonica）Okay,IknowI’mnotsupposedtoknow,butIdo.AndI’msoexcitedforyou!

Joey:

What?

What’sgoingon?

Ross:

Monica’spregnant!

Joey:

OhmyGod!

Isthatwhyyouguyshadtogetmarried?

!

Monica:

Guys!

I’mnotpregnant.

Joey:

Ah.（ToChandler）Slowswimmers?

（Chandlerlooksathim.）

Ross:

What?

!

Whatdoyoumean?

You-you-you’renotpregnant?

Monica:

Youdidn’ttellanybodyIwasdidyou?

!

Ross:

No!

（Pause）I’llberightback.（Exits.）

Photographer:

Nowwhydon’twegetashotofjustMonicaandthebloodysoldier.

Monica:

（ToJoey）Oh,aboutthat.Joey,youhavetochangebeforetheparty.

Joey:

Ican’t!

I-Idon’thaveanyotherclotheshere.

Monica:

Findsome!

Please!

Anythingthatdoesn’tsayI-IdiedtragicallyinFrance.（Joeyleavestofindclothes.）

Photographer:

Wellthenwhydon’tweseethebrideandthegroomandthebridemaids.

Phoebe:

Okay.（PhoebeandRacheljoinMonicaandChandleronthealtar.）HeyMon,whydidyoutelltheguysyouweren’tpregnant?

Monica:

BecauseI’mnot.

Phoebe:

Wefoundyourtestinthetrash,ifyou’renotpregnant—（SheseesRachelshakingherhead）—It’sbecauseIam.

（Flash,thephotographertakesapictureofMonicaandChandler’sstunnedfaces.）

Chandler:

What?

!

Whatareyoutalkingabout?

Monica:

Whatareyoutalkingabout?

Phoebe:

Yes,I…Iamwithchild.（Flash）AndIdidn’twanttosayanythingbecauseit’syourday;Ididn’twanttostealyourthunder.

Monica:

Waitaminute!

SoyoutoldpeopleIwaspregnant?

!

（Flash）DoesthislooklikeaconversationthatIwanttoremember?

!

Chandler:

Who’sthefather?

Monica:

Yeah!

Phoebe:

Ican’tsay.

Monica:

Why?

!

Chandler:

Whynot?

Phoebe:

Ican’tsaybecausehe’sfamous.

Rachel:

OhmyGod,whoisit?

!

（Phoeberollshereyes.）

Monica:

Phoebe,comeon,youhavetotellus.

Phoebe:

Okay,okay.It’sJamesBrolin.JamesBrolinisthefatherofmybaby.

Chandler:

AsinBarbaraStreisand’shusbandJamesBrolin?

Phoebe:

What?

!

Wellheneversaidthattome!

OpeningCredits

[Scene:

TheWeddingHall,continuedfromearlier.]

Photographer:

Whydon’twehaveMonicastepawayandwe’llgetChandlerandthebridemaids.

Phoebe:

Howaboutjustthebridemaids?

Chandler:

Y’knowIamthegroomright?

Iwastolditwaskindabigdeal.

Phoebe:

Itis.

Rachel:

Foryou.（Chandlerleaves.）

Phoebe:

OhmyGod!

Rachel:

Oh,thankyoufordoingthat.Ijustcan’tdealwiththisjustquiteyet.

Phoebe:

SoinsteadyoutoldmeMonicawaspregnant.

Rachel:

Yousaidthatshewas,Ijustdidn’tdisagreewithyou.

Phoebe:

Sneaky.

Rachel:

Ohyeah.

Photographer:

Smileladies.

Rachel:

Oh!

（Theysmileandthepictureistaken.）Ohbytheway?

Phoebe:

Uh-hmm.

Rachel:

JamesBrolin?

Phoebe:

Oh,Iknow.Icouldonlythinkoftwonames,himandEdBegleyJr.andthenIrememberedhe’sgay.

Rachel:

EdBegleyJr.isnotgay.

Phoebe:

（intrigued）Really?

!

[Scene:

TheReceptionHall,thepartyisinfullswing.]

Bandleader:

Thankyouverymuch!

Ladiesandgentlemen,itgivesmegreatpleasuretointroducetoyoufortheveryfirsttime,Mr.andMrs.ChandlerBing!

（Theyenter.）

Chandler:

BeforewegooutthereI’vegotapresentforya.

Monica:

Honey,I’mgoingtoputmyhandinyourpocket!

Chandler:

No?

Monica:

No.

Chandler:

I’vebeentakingdancinglessons.

Monica:

What?

!

Chandler:

Yeah,thelastsixweeks.Iwantedthistobeamomentyouwillneverforget.

Monica:

Ohthatissosweet!

Chandler:

So?

Wouldyoucaretojoinmeinourfirstdanceashusbandandwife?

Monica:

Yes.

（TheywalkontothedancefloorandChandlerslipsandalmostfalls.）

Monica:

What’sthematter?

Chandler:

Idon’tknow,it’sthesenewshoes,they’reallslippery.

Monica:

Well,areyougoingtobeabletodothis?

Chandler:

Notwell.

（TheystartdancingandChandlerstartsslippingaround.）

Monica:

Well,thegoodnewsis,Idon’tthinkanyone’slookingatus.

[CuttoPhoebeandRachelattheirtable.]

Phoebe:

So,areyoureadytotalkaboutit?

Rachel:

No.

（Pause）

Phoebe:

Now?

Rachel:

No!

Phoebe:

Okay,we’lltalkaboutsomethingelsethen.

Rachel:

Thankyou.

Phoebe:

Who’sthefather?

!

Rachel:

Ugh!

Lookhoneyy’knowwhat?

Ihaven’ttoldhimyet,sountilIdoIdon’tthinkIshouldtellanybodyelse.

Phoebe:

Yeah.That’sfine.That’sfair.IsitTag?

Rachel:

Phoebe!

!

Phoebe:

Okay,I’msorry.I’llstop.

Rachel:

Okay.

Phoebe:

IsitRoss?

It’sRossisn’tit—OhmyGod,it’sJoey!

Rachel:

Honey,stopit!

IamnotgoingtotellyouuntilItellhim.

Phoebe:

Ah-hah!

Atleastweknowit’sahim.

[CuttoJoeyenteringwearingapreppytennisoutfit.]

Monica:

（seeinghim）OhsweetLord.

Joey:

I’msorry!

Okay?

Iwentdowntothegiftshopandit’seitherthisorabathrobe!

Look,what’smoreimportant,thewayI’mdressedormebeingwithyouonyourspecialday?

Monica:

Honey,I’mnotevengoingtopretendIwaslistening.（Seessomeoneelse.）Hey!

Hey!

（Goesovertothatperson.）

[Cuttothehallwayoutsidetheroom,Rossisgoingtoseewhichtablehe’satandseesabeautifulwomandoingthesamething.]

Ross:

Hi.I’muh,I’mRoss.Idon’t,Idon’tbelievewe’vemet.I’mMonica’solderbrother.

Woman:

Ohhi,I’m,I’mMonafromherrestaurant.

Ross:

Oh!

Hellouh,Monafromherrestaurant.（Heuseshiscardtomouththosewords.）（Pause）Mona,wowwhata,whatabeautifulname.

Mona:

Youthinkso?

I’vealwayskindahatedit.

Ross:

Awcomeon,MonaLisa?

Mona:

Uh-huh.

Ross:

Monaumm…Clickclocken.Thefamousbotanist?

Huh?

Ohnoshe’suh—wellshe’sdeadnow.No,supposedlyshewasoncequitethehottieoftheplantworld.

Mona:

Really?

!

Wellsee?

Ineverknewabouther.

Ross:

LindaClickclocken.（Pause）Sowhatuh,what-whattableareyouat?

（Sheshowshim.）Oh,uhmetoo.

Mona:

Ohgood.Nowthere’llbesomeonetherewholikesmyname.

Ross:

（sexily）Yestherewill.（MonaleavesandRosstriestofindthesametable.）Ohguesswhat,MollyGilbertyou’vejustbeenbumpeduptotableone.Andifit’sallrightwithyouI’mgonnatakeyourplaceattablesix—MartinClickclocken.

[CutbackinsidetoJoeygivingabeautifulwomanatennislessonbystandingbehindher.]

Joey:

That’sbetter,nowjustbendyourarmsalittlemore.Thereyougo.Okay,lookstraightahead.NowthistimeIwantyoutoreallyputyourassintoit.（Theydoapracticeswingandshereallyputsherassintoit.）

[CuttoChandlersittingdownnearJoeyashismomwalksover.Hisbirthmother,notthemotherwhorecentlyvisitedoneofthoseclinicsinSweden.]

Mrs.Bing:

Chandlerdarling!

Look,mydatehasfinallyarrived.I’dlikeyoutomeetDennisPhillips.

DennisPhillips:

Congratulations.

Chandler:

Thankyou.

Mrs.Bing:

Dennisisadearoldfriendandafantasticlover.

Chandler:

BravoDennisthanksforpleasingmymotherso.

DennisPhillips:

Oh,I’msosorryImissedtheceremony,Iwasstuckatauditions.

Mrs.Bing:

Ohyes,DennisisdirectinganewBroadwayshow.

Joey:

Idon’tbelievewe’vemet,JoeyTribbiani.

DennisPhillips:

DennisPhillips

Joey:

Wow,I’veadmiredyourworkforyears.You-you’vedonesomereallyamazingstuff.

DennisPhillips:

Oh,thankyou.Wellifyou’llexcuseme,I’mgonnagogetmyselfadrink.Bebackinamoment.（Walksaway.）

Joey:

WowDennisPhillips!

That’sgreat!

Howdidyouguysmeet?

Mrs.Bing:

Well,it’safunnystory.

Chandler:

Funny:

ha-haorfunny:

（Mimesblowinghisbrainout.）

[Timelapse.Thebandisfinishinganothersong.]

Bandleader:

Thankyou,thankyouverymuch.Ifeveryonewillpleasetakeyourseats,dinnerwillbeserved.

（Rossstartslookingfortablesixandfindsoutthatit’sthekid’stable.HeseesMonasittingatanothertable.）

Ross:

Hey!

Uh,Ithought,Ithoughtyouwereattablesix.

Mona:

No,nine.（Showshimthecardagain.）

Ross:

Ohsee,beforeyouuh,whenyoushowedittomeyou-youhelditthatway（heturnsherhandupsidedown）whichuh,whichwasmisleading.WellI’m…（Hegoesatsitsdownathisnewtableandthekidsstareathim.）Hello.

[Cuttothehallway,Chandlerisputtingtapeonthebottomofhisshoes.]

Joey:

Chandler.WillyouseeifyourmomcangivemyresumetoDennisPhillips?

‘CauseifIcangetinaBroadwayshowthenIwould’vedoneitall,film,television,andtheater.Theonlythinkleftwouldberadio,andthat’sjustforuglypeople.

Chandler:

Whatsizeshoesdoyouwear?

Joey:

Uh,eleven,elevenandahalf.

Chandler:

Great,becausemyshoesaregivingmealittleproblemonthedancefloor,canIborrowthebootsfromyourcostume?

Joey:

Uh,Idon’tevenreallyknowwhereIleftthose.Sorry.

Chandler:

（lookingatJoey’sfeet）Thosearen’televenandahalf.

Joey:

Okayfine!

I’maseven!

Allright,Ihavesurprisinglysmallfeet.Buttherestofmeisgood,I’llshowya!

[CuttoMonicaandRachelattheirtable.]

Monica:

CanyoubelievePhoebegotpregnant?

!

Rachel:

Ohy’knowwhathoney?

Let’snottalkaboutthatrightnow?

Monica:

Thisissohuge.

Rachel:

Sure,butcomeon,asbigasyourwedding?

Monica:

Ofcoursenotnothingis.Betweenmeandyou…

Rachel:

Yeah.

Monica:

…inthisdayandagehowdumbdoyouhavetobetogetpregnant?

Rachel:

Hey!

Y’know,sometimesyoucandoeverythingright,everyonecanweareverythingthey’resupposedtowear,andoneofthoselittleguysjustgetsthrough!

Monica:

How?

Rachel:

Idon’tknow!

Maybetheyhavetools.

Monica:

WellI-Italkedtoanduh,she’sdefinitelygoingtohavethisbaby.Y’know,shesaidshewasgonnaraiseitonherown.

Rachel:

Well,maybethat’s,maybethat’sreallybrave.

Monica:

Maybe.Ijusthopesherealizes