英国散文欣赏 text.docx

英国散文欣赏 text.docx

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英国散文欣赏text

ThinkingasaHobby

----byWilliamGolding

　　WhileIwasstillaboy，Icametotheconclusionthattherewerethreegradesofthinking；andsinceIwaslatertoclaimthinkingasmyhobby，Icametoanevenstrangerconclusion--namely，thatImyselfcouldnotthinkatall.

　　Imusthavebeenanunsatisfactorychildforgrownupstodealwith.Irememberhowincomprehensibletheyappearedtomeatfirst，butnot，ofcourse，howIappearedtothem.Itwastheheadmasterofmygrammarschoolwhofirstbroughtthesubjectofthinkingbeforeme--thoughneitherintheway，norwiththeresultheintended.Hehadsomestatuettesinhisstudy.Theystoodonahighcupboardbehindhisdesk.Onewasaladywearingnothingbutabathtowel.Sheseemedfrozeninaneternalpaniclestthebathtowelslipdownanyfarther；andsinceshehadnoarms，shewasinanunfortunatepositiontopullthetowelupagain.Nexttoher，crouchedthestatuetteofaleopard，readytospringdownatthetopdraweroffilingcabinetlabeledA-AH.Myinnocenceinterpretedthisasthevictim'slast，despairingcry.Beyondtheleopardwasanaked，musculargentleman，whosat，lookingdown，withhischinonhisfistandhiselbowonhisknee.Heseemedutterlymiserable.

　　Sometimelater，Ilearnedaboutthesestatuettes.Theheadmasterhadplacedthemwheretheywouldfacedelinquentchildren，becausetheysymbolizedtohimthewholeoflife.ThenakedladywastheVenusofMilo.ShewasLove.Shewasnotworriedaboutthetowel.Shewasjustbusybeingbeautiful.TheleopardwasNature，andhewasbeingnatural.Thenaked，musculargentlemanwasnotmiserable.HewasRodin'sThinker，animageofpurethought.Itiseasytobuysmallplastermodelsofwhatyouthinklifeislike.

　　IhadbetterexplainthatIwasafrequentvisitortotheheadmaster'sstudy，becauseofthelatestthingIhaddoneorleftundone.Aswenowsay，Iwasnotintegrated.Iwas，ifanything，disintegrated；andIwaspuzzled.Grownupsnevermadesense.WheneverIfoundmyselfinapenalpositionbeforetheheadmaster'sdesk，withthestatuettesglimmeringwhitelyabovehim，Iwouldsinkmyhead，claspmyhandsbehindmybackandwritheoneshoeovertheother.

　　Theheadmasterwouldlookopaquelyatmethroughflashingspectacles.

　　"Whatarewegoingtodowithyou？

"

　　Well，whatweretheygoingtodowithme？

Iwouldwrithemyshoesomemoreandstaredownatthewornrug.

　　"Lookup，boy！

Can'tyoulookup？

"

　　ThenIwouldlookupatthecupboard，wherethenakedladywasfrozeninherpanicandthemusculargentlemancontemplatedthehindquartersoftheleopardinendlessgloom.Ihadnothingtosaytotheheadmaster.Hisspectaclescaughtthelightsothatyoucouldseenothinghumanbehindthem.Therewasnopossibilityofcommunication.

　　"Don'tyoueverthinkatall？

"

　　No，Ididn'tthink，wasn'tthinking，couldn'tthink--Iwassimplywaitinginanguishfortheinterviewtostop.

　　"Thenyou'dbetterlearn--hadn'tyou？

"

　　Ononeoccasiontheheadmasterleapedtohisfeet，reachedupandplonkedRodin'smasterpieceonthedeskbeforeme.

　　"That'swhatamanlookslikewhenhe'sreallythinking."

　　Isurveyedthegentlemanwithoutinterestorcomprehension.

　　"Gobacktoyourclass."

　　Clearlytherewassomethingmissinginme.Naturehadendowedtherestofthehumanracewithasixthsenseandleftmeout.Thismustbeso，Imused，onmywaybacktotheclass，sincewhetherIhadbrokenawindow，orfailedtorememberBoyle'sLaw，orbeenlateforschool，myteachersproducedmeone，adultanswer：

"Whycan'tyouthink？

"

　　AsIsawthecase，IhadbrokenthewindowbecauseIhadtriedtohitJackArneywithacricketballandmissedhim；IcouldnotrememberBoyle'sLawbecauseIhadneverbotheredtolearnit；andIwaslateforschoolbecauseIpreferredlookingoverthebridgeintotheriver.Infact，Iwaswicked.Weremyteachers，perhaps，sogoodthattheycouldnotunderstandthedepthsofmydepravity？

Weretheyclear，untormentedpeoplewhocoulddirecttheireveryactionbythismysteriousbusinessofthinking？

Thewholethingwasincomprehensible.Inmyearlieryears，IfoundeventhestatuetteoftheThinkerconfusing.Ididnotbelieveanyofmyteacherswerenaked，ever.Likesomeoneborndeaf，butbitterlydeterminedtofindoutaboutsound，Iwatchedmyteacherstofindoutaboutthought.

　　TherewasMr.Houghton.Hewasalwaystellingmetothink.Withamodestsatisfaction，hewouldtellmethathehadthoughtabithimself.Thenwhydidhespendsomuchtimedrinking？

Orwastheremoresenseindrinkingthanthereappearedtobe？

Butifnot，andifdrinkingwereinfactruinoustohealth--andMr.Houghtonwasruined，therewasnodoubtaboutthat--whywashealwaystalkingaboutthecleanlifeandthevirtuesoffreshair？

Hewouldspreadhisarmswidewiththeactionofamanwhohabituallyspenthistimestridingalongmountainridges.

　　"Openairdoesmegood，boys--Iknowit！

"

　　Sometimes，exaltedbyhisownoratory，hewouldleapfromhisdeskandhustleusoutsideintoahideouswind.

　　"Now，boys！

Deepbreaths！

Feelitrightdowninsideyou--hugedraughtsofGod'sgoodair！

"

　　Hewouldstandbeforeus，rejoicinginhisperfecthealth，anopen-airman.Hewouldputhishandsonhiswaistandtakeatremendousbreath.Youcouldhearthewind，trappedinthecavernofhischestandstrugglingwithalltheunnaturalimpediments.Hisbodywouldreelwithshockandhisruinedfacegowhiteattheunaccustomedvisitation.Hewouldstaggerbacktohisdeskandcollapsethere，uselessfortherestofthemorning.

　　Mr.Houghtonwasgiventohigh-mindedmonologuesaboutthegoodlife，sexlessandfullofduty.Yetinthemiddleofoneofthesemonologues，ifagirlpassedthewindow，tappingalongonherneatlittlefeet，hewouldinterrupthisdiscourse，hisneckwouldturnofitselfandhewouldwatchheroutofsight.Inthisinstance，heseemedtomerulednotbythoughtbutbyaninvisibleandirresistiblespringinhisnape.Hisneckwasanobjectofgreatinteresttome.Normallyitbulgedabitoverhiscollar.ButMr.HoughtonhadfoughtintheFirstWorldWaralongsidebothAmericansandFrench，andhadcome--bywhoknowswhatillogic？

--toasettleddetestationofbothcountries.Ifeitherhappenedtobeprominentincurrentaffairs，noargumentcouldmakeMr.Houghtonthinkwellofit.Hewouldbangthedesk，hisneckwouldbulgestillfurtherandgored."Youcansaywhatyoulike，"hewouldcry，"butI'vethoughtaboutthis--andIknowwhatIthink！

"

　　Mr.Houghtonthoughtwithhisneck.

　　TherewasMissParsons.Sheassuredusthatherdearestwishwasourwelfare，butIkneweventhen，withthemysteriousclairvoyanceofchildhood，thatwhatshewantedmostwasthehusbandshenevergot.TherewasMr.Hands--andsoon.

　　Ihavedealtatlengthwithmyteachersbecausethiswasmyintroductiontothenatureofwhatiscommonlycalledthought.ThroughthemIdiscoveredthatthoughtisoftenfullofunconsciousprejudice，ignoranceandhypocrisy.Itwilllectureondisinterestedpuritywhileitsneckisbeingremorselesslytwistedtowardaskirt.Technically，itisaboutasproficientasmostbusinessmen'sgolf，ashonestasmostpoliticians'intentions，or--tocomenearmyownpreoccupation--ascoherentasmostbooksthatgetwritten.ItiswhatIcametocallgrade-threethinking，thoughmoreproperly，itisfeeling，ratherthanthought.

　　True，oftenthereisakindofinnocenceinprejudices，butinthosedaysIviewedgrade-threethinkingwithanintolerantcontemptandanincautiousmockery.IdelightedtoconfrontapiousladywhohatedtheGermanswiththepropositionthatweshouldloveourenemies.Shetaughtmeagreattruthindealingwithgrade-threethinkers；becauseofher，Inolongerdismisslightlyamentalprocesswhichfornine-tenthsofthepopulationisthenearesttheywillevergettothought.Theyhaveimmensesolidarity.Wehadbetterrespectthem，forweareoutnumberedandsurrounded.Acrowdofgrade-threethinkers，allshoutingthesamething，allwarmingtheirhandsatthefireoftheirownprejudices，willnotthankyouforpointingoutthecontradictionsintheirbeliefs.Manisagregariousanimal，andenjoysagreementascowswillgrazeallthesamewayonthesideofahill.

　　Grade-twothinkingisthedetectionofcontradictions.IreachedgradetwowhenItrappedthepoor，piouslady.Grade-twothinkersdonotstampedeeasily，thoughoftentheyfallintotheotherfaultandlagbehind.Grade-twothinkingisawithdrawal，witheyesandearsopen.Itbecamemyhobbyandbroughtsatisfactionandlonelinessineitherhand.Forgrade-twothinkingdestroyswithouthavingthepowertocreate.ItsetmewatchingthecrowdscheeringHisMajestytheKingandaskingmyselfwhatallthefusswasabout，withoutgivingmeanythingpositivetoputintheplaceofthatheadypatriotism.Buttherewerecompensations.Tohearpeoplejustifytheirhabitofhuntingfoxesandtearingthemtopiecesbyclaimingthatthefoxeslikedit.TohearourPrimeMinistertalkaboutthegreatbenefitweconferredonIndiabyjailingpeoplelikePanditNehruandGandhi.TohearAmericanpoliticianstalkaboutpeaceinonesentenceandrefusetojointheLeagueofNationsinthenext.Yes，therearemomentsofdelight.

　　ButIwasgrowingtowardadolescenceandhadtoadmitthatMr.Houghtonwasnottheonlyonewithanirresistiblespringinhisneck.I，too，feltthecompulsivehandofnatureandbegantofindthatpointingoutcontradictioncouldbecostlyaswellasfun.TherewasRuth，forexample，aseriousandattractivegirl.Iwasanatheistatthetime.Grade-twothinkingisamenacetoreligionandknocksdownsectslikeskittles.Iputm