摩登家庭第一季第24集剧本英语学习.docx

摩登家庭第一季第24集剧本英语学习.docx

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摩登家庭第一季第24集剧本英语学习

摩登家庭第1季第24集

Claire:

 Oh,honey,haveagreattimeatthegame!

Phil:

 Thanks.

Claire:

 Mwa!

Whyareyou...crunching?

Phil:

 Ordinarily,I'marulefollower,butwhensomeonetellsmeIcan'tbringmyownsnacksintotheirstadium,that'swhenIgetalittlenuts.It'safreecountry,right?

Let'sjustsayitrufflesme......whensomegoobers...tellmeIhavetospendhalfmypayday...Ontheirhotdogs.

Claire:

 Please,justrememberthefamilyportrait.Weonlyhavethephotographerforanhour.

Phil:

 Okay.

Claire:

 Okay?

And,sweetie,didyouhaveachancetotryonthewhitepantsIputinyourcloset?

Phil:

 Oh,whatdotheylooklike?

Claire:

 Istherereallyamoreclearwaytodescribewhitepants?

Sweetie,iftheydon'tfityou,you'regonnabetheonlyonenotwearingwhite,andthenyou'regonnastandoutlike"where'sWaldo?

"

Phil:

 Actually,"where'sWaldo?

"doesn'tstandout.He'ssuperhardtofind.That'sthechallenge.

Claire:

 Thisportraitisincrediblyimportanttome.

Phil:

 Also,hisnameisjustWaldo.Sorry.

Claire:

 Ispentweekstryingtofindatimethatworksforeverybodyandfindingtherightphotographer.Soifyoucouldjustpromisemethatyou'llcooperate,okay?

Phil:

 Ipromise.

Claire:

 Okay.

Phil:

 Thisisamazingthatyou'redoingthis.

Claire:

 Mm,thankyou.

Phil:

 You'rewonderful.

Claire:

 Thankyou.

Phil:

 Getinhere.

Claire:

 Okay.

Phil:

 Oh,nocando.

Claire:

 Oh.Oh.

Phil:

 Iloveyou.

Claire:

 Bye.

Jay:

 Where'smygoodunderwear?

Gloria:

 Thequestionis,whyisn'tallyourunderweargood,Jay?

Youmakeaniceliving!

Jay:

 ThenewmaidkeepsmixingupmyunderwearwithManny's.PutonthefirstthingIgrabbed...Itwaslikeacrotchtourniquet.Yougottotalktoher.

Gloria:

 Whyme?

Jay:

 Hola.Youbothspeakthesamelanguage.

Gloria:

 She'sPortuguese.Doyouknowhowoffensiveitisthatyouputallofusinthesamemixingpot?

Jay:

 I'msorry.Pleaseapologizetoherwhenyoutellhernottoputmyunderwear...

Gloria:

 Ican'ttalktoher!

Jay:

 Hey,guys.

Phil:

 Hey!

Jay:

 Where'sLuke?

Alex:

 I'mgoinginstead.

Phil:

 Lukesuddenlyrememberedaschoolprojectduetomorrow.

Jay:

 Oh,that'stough.Butit'sagoodlessonforthekid.Youknow,youmadeacommitment,yougottofollowthrough.

Phil:

 Yeah.

Gloria:

 Whatistheproject?

Phil:

 Uh,hehastointerviewsomebodywholivedthroughthe1960s.

Jay:

 Oh,no.Hello.Yeah,Luke.Oh,sure,IrememberwhatIsaid.Yeah,comeonover.Allright.Gloria,you'regonnahavetotakeMannytothegame.

Gloria:

 Yay.Manny,vamos!

Manny:

 I'mstillgettingdressed!

Hey,mom!

Ithinkmydiet'sworking!

Myunderwearwon'tstayup!

Mitchell:

 Oh,sodelicious.Yes.Hey,you'reokaywithmenotgoingwithyoutoday,right?

Cameron:

 Ihavebeenhiredtosingataweddingthisweekend.Iwaspluckedfromobscurityafteraparticularlystirringkaraokeperformance.SoIguessyoucouldsayI'maprofessionalsingernow.

Mitchell:

 Idon'tknow.Well,they'repayingyouinflowers,so...

Cameron:

 Well,Iwouldhaveblownthemoneyonflowersanyway.They'resavingmeastep.Plus,allthegreatdivasarerewardedinflowers.

Mitchell:

 They'realsogivenpaychecks.

Mitchell:

 It'sjust,I'mreallybadatsmalltalk,so...

Cameron:

 Igetit.It'snotaproblem.

Mitchell:

 Areyousure?

Becauseyou'vebeenquietallmorning.

Cameron:

 It'sbecauseI'mrestingmyinstrument.

Mitchell:

 Okay.Ifeeltension.

Everyone:

 Kobe!

Phil:

 Hey,whatcanIdoforyou?

Doyoulikebeingabasketball...Player?

Kobe:

 Youserious?

Phil:

 Ichoked.Ididn'tthinkyou'dlookuphere,atme.

Kobe:

 Littlepreparationnexttime.It'samentalgame.

Phil:

 Duallynoted.

Haley:

 What'swrong?

Claire:

 Thatbrokenstep.It'sgonnaruinourwholefamilyportrait.

Claire:

 Okay,here'smyidea.I'mreallyexcitedaboutit.Thewholeextendedfamily,alldressedinwhite,inasingle-filelinedownthestaircase.

Phil:

 Oh,likealineonthehighway.

Claire:

 No.

Phil:

 Ora-askijump.

Claire:

 No.Why...whywouldIwantaskijump?

Phil:

 Idon'tknow.Myideawastohavethewholefamilyonagiantbedlikein"WillyWonka."

Claire:

 Yeah,butthat'sridiculous.

Phil:

 Ridicu-licious.

Haley:

 Idon'tseeanything.

Claire:

 SoI'mcrazy?

Haley:

 No!

You're...not.

Claire:

 Yourfatherwassupposedtofixthatstep.

Haley:

 Mom,you'reobsessingoverthetiniestlittlething.

Claire:

 Soyoudoseeit.

Haley:

 Yeah.Whatisthebigdealaboutthisonepicture?

Claire:

 Honey,youknowwhat?

Idon'texpectyoutounderstand.Butallright.Whenyou'reamom,everythinggoesbysoquickly.inaminute,Luke'sgonnabeshaving,AndAlexisgonnabeoffatcollege,And...andyou'regonnabe...you'regonnabedoingsomethinggreat.Justwanttofreezethismomentasitisrightnow.Youknow?

Haley:

 Ido.IknowIdon'tshowit,butthisfamily'sstillthemostimportantthingthatI...screwit.

Claire:

 I'mgonnafixthebastard.Imean,seriously,howhardcanitbe?

Ifyourfathercandoit,Icandoit,right?

Allright.Ijustneedto...like,lift...

Haley:

 Oh.NowIseeit.

Claire:

 Uh-huh.Mm-hmm.

Phil:

 Theseseatsareamazing!

Gloria:

 Whyyouhavecandycomingoutofyourpants?

Phil:

 No,no,no,no,no,no,no.

Gloria:

 Huh?

Phil:

 Ibroughtmyownsnacks.NotbecauseI'mcheap.It's.Plus,Igetalittlerushfromthedanger.Becool!

Becool!

Becool!

Justlookstraightahead.I'veneverfeltmorealive.Whoo!

Claire:

 Okay,Ijustmadeitworse.I'mnotfreakingout,though.I'mgonnacallyourdad,Andhe'sgonnatellmehowtofixthis.

Haley:

 "Oh,myGod,it'sdad"

Claire:

 Where?

Haley:

 Rightthere,behindKobe!

Claire:

 Oh!

Haley:

 Oh,howweirdisthis?

Claire:

 Quick.Quick.Tellmesomethingtosaythat'llfreakhimout.

Haley:

 TellhimI'mpregnant!

Claire:

 No,I'mnotgonnasaythat.Okay,herewego.Howfunnyisthis?

Phil:

 Hey,it'sPhil.Youknowwhattodo.

Haley:

 Well,thatwasprettyfunny.

 Mitchell:

 Oh,myGod!

Oh,myGod.Oh,myGod.Oh,myGod.Oh,myGod.Oh,myGod.Ohh.Ohh.Ohh.Oh,myGod!

 Oh,myGod!

Oh,myGod!

Oh,myGod!

Oh!

Cameron:

 Excuseme.Excuseme.Sorryforthat.Hello?

Mitchell:

 Thereisapigeoninourhouse!

WhatdoIdo?

WhatdoIdo?

Cameron:

 Whoisthis?

Mitchell:

 Neverfunny.Notfunnynow.

Cameron:

 Calmdown.Youknow,Igrewuparoundmanyanimals.Onetime,aroosterattackedme,andmymomwrungitsneck,andwehaditfordinner.

Mitchell:

 Greattimeforananecdote.Helpme!

Cameron:

 It'smoreafraidofyouthanyouareofit.

Mitchell:

 Pigeonsaren'tscaredofanything.Theystandonelectricalwires.

Cameron:

 You'regonnabefine,Mitchell.Youknowwhat?

Justaslongasyoudon't...Oh,youknowwhat?

They'restarting.Igottogo.Okay.Bye.

Mitchell:

 AslongasIdon'twhat?

!

Cam,aslongasIdon't...Oh!

Manny:

 Ooh,thekissCam!

Wouldn'titbeembarrassingifthecamerawasonusandthenthecrowdstarted...

Alex:

 We'rerelated.

Manny:

 Notbyblood.

Alex:

 Touchme,andtherewillbeblood.

Phil:

 Notus.

Gloria:

 What'swrongwithyou?

Phil:

 It'sthekiss-cam...Whenitlandsonyou,you'resupposedtokiss.It'smywife'sdad'ssecondwife,so,legallyokay,butstillweird.Thatwasawkward.And...we'reback.

Gloria:

 Ay,comeon.It'snotabigdeal.

Claire:

 ThankGodforcallerI.D.Soyoudon'thavetotalktoyourwife.Oh,we'regonnatalk,mister.We'regonnatalkandtalk...

Alex:

 Dad!

MomsawyouonTV!

You'redead.

Phil:

 Here'sthething.Thekiss-camisonlysupposedtobefortheenjoymentofthepeopleatthegame!

TheynevershowthatonTV.Whatpeopledointheprivacyoftheirownsportsarenashouldbetheirownbusiness.

Jay:

 So,in'66,Iworkedatmygrandfather'soffice-supplybusiness.Youknow,yourink,yourstaples,yourlegalpads.AmIgoingtoofastforyou?

Luke:

 Ifellasleepforsecond.Didyoudoanythinginterestinginthe'60s?

Jay:

 Well,onesummer,Isweptuphairatmyothergrandfather'sbarbershop.

Luke:

 Ugh,you'rekillingme!

Jay:

 Whatdoyouwant?

Luke:

 Idon'tknow.BrianBeckwith'sgrandfathermarchedonWashington.

Jay:

 ArtieBeckwith?

Hecouldn'twalktwofeetwithoutcomplaining.HemarchedonWashington?

Luke:

 HetoldBrianhedid.WithMartinLutherkingJr.

Jay:

 MartinLutherking?

Guesswhocuthishair.

Luke:

 What?

Jay:

 DoyouknowwhocutMartinLutherkingJr.'shair?

NeitherdoesLuke'steacher.

Luke:

 So,thebarbershopwasinWashington?

Jay:

 Okay.

Luke:

 Didyoucutanyotherfamoushair?

Jay:

 Oh,yeah,theKennedys,RichardNixon,Alltheastronauts.HowdoyouthinkbuzzAldringothisnickname?

Luke:

 Awesome.

Mitchell:

 *welovetoplayinLily'sroom,wedon'tneedanymilk.*Okay,youknowwhat,Lily?

Iamaman.Iamgoingintothekitchentogetyourmilk.Whaaaaaaaaa!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Ohh!

 Cameron:

*AveMaria.Gratiaplena.Maria,Gratiaplena.Maria,Gratiaplena.ave,aveDominus.Dominustecum.Benedictatuinmulieribusetbenedictusfructusventrisventristui,Jesus,aveMaria*

Jay:

 Thenoneday,WiltChamberlainshowsup.Hesays,"Canyoutakealittleoffthetopformyfriendhere?

"Andit'sElvis.

Luke:

 Noway.

Jay:

 Greatestsingerthateverlived...afterSinatra.I'llfightanymanwhosaysdifferent.

Luke:

 MydadsaysthegreatestsingerwhoeverlivedisPeaboBryson.

Jay:

 ThenIguessIgottofightyourdad.

Luke:

 Yeah.Iguess.

Alex:

 Lukesaysgrandpawantstofightyou.

Claire:

 Whydoeseverythinghavetosuck?

!

Haley:

 Let'sjustdothepictureanotherday.IthinkI'mgettingapimple.

Claire:

 No!

Doyouknowhowlongittookmetobookthisphotographer?

Maybebythefireplace.

Haley:

 Yeah.That'saclassicold-