老友记9.docx

老友记9.docx

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老友记9

六行人10-9TheOneWithTheBirthMother

[Scene:

CentralPerk.Everyone'ssittingonthecouch.MonicaandChandlerenter] 

Chandler:

Hi!

Ross:

Hey!

Monica:

Hey!

Chandler:

We'rejustheretosaygoodbye,we'reofftoOhio. 

Phoebe:

Oh,right!

Youradoptioninterview!

Monica:

Yep,we'regonnameettheladywhocouldbecarryingourbaby. 

Joey:

Ican'tbelieveit.Whenyouguyscomeback,you'regonnahaveababy!

Thatissoweird!

Chandler:

Andsoincorrect!

Monica:

She'sonlyacoupleofmonthspregnant.Shelikedourapplicationbutwhoknowsifshe'sgonnalikeus. 

Ross:

Comeon,she'sgonnaloveyouguys!

Chandler:

Uhm,thankyou,butwe'rereallytryingnottogetourhopesup. 

Monica:

Andalotcouldstillgetinourway. 

Chandler:

Yeah.Imean,thisgirlcoulddecideagainstadoptionorshecouldlikeanothercouplebetter.. 

Phoebe:

Whatareyougonnanamethebaby?

Chandler:

IcandevelopaconditioninwhichItalkandtalkandnoonehearsaword. 

Joey:

Butjustthink,ok?

Whatifeverythinggoesright?

Whatifthiswomandoespickyouguys?

Monica:

OhmyGod.She'sgonnapickus!

Chandler:

Sowe'restandingfirmonthe'notgettingourhopesup'?

Monica:

Youknow,Iknowthatthingscouldstillgowrongbutiftheydon't?

Ifthisworksout,we'regonnahaveababyChandler,ababy!

Chandler:

Yes,but... 

Monica:

OhmyGod,it'sgonnaWORK!

We'regonnamakeitwork!

I'mgonnabeamummyand（toChandler）you'regonnabeadaddy!

Allright,I'llseeyousuckers.I'mgonnagetme...ABABY!

（sheleaves） 

Chandler:

Oh,screwit,I'mgonnabeadaddy!

!

OPENINGCREDITS 

[Scene:

CentralPerk.Phoebe'sspeakingtoagirl.] 

Rachel:

（toJoey）Hey,who'sPhoebewith?

Joey:

I'mgonnasaysomeoneI'mgonnahavesexwith.（thegirlleavesandPhoebegoestowardthecouch）（toPhoebe）Hey!

Phoebe:

Hey!

Joey:

So...who'syourfriend?

Phoebe:

Oh,that'sSarah.No,no.Don'tyougetanyideas,ok?

No,I'mnotsettingyouupwithanymoreofmyfriends!

Joey:

OW,why,why,why?

Phoebe:

Becauseyou'lldateheronce,sleepwithherandthenforgetsheexists!

Joey:

Oh,nameonefriendofyoursthatIdidthatwith. 

Phoebe:

Mandy. 

Joey:

Mandy,uh?

Uh...reallyhotblonde,bigboobs?

Phoebe:

No. 

Joey:

IknowwhyIdon'trememberher,huh?

（hewinksatRachel） 

Rachel:

DoyouthinkI'msomeoneelse?

Joey:

Ok,Imaynothavetreatedyourfriendswellinthepast,butIhavegrownupalot,really.Honest,Rach?

Rachel:

Well,believeitornot,it'strue.WhenJoeyandIweretogether,hewaswonderful.Hewasthoughtfulandmature.Andfortheoneweekthatwewentout,hedidn'tsleepwithanybodyelse!

Joey:

（pointingathimself）Growth!

Phoebe:

Fine,I'llgiveyouhernumber. 

Joey:

Ok,thankyou.AndIpromiseyouIwillnotforgetthisone.（hestartswritingonhishand）Mandy. 

Phoebe:

SARAH!

Joey:

Saraaah. 

Ross:

（entering）Hey!

Rachel:

Hi!

Ross:

Heyyouguys,Ineedsomefashionadvice. 

Rachel:

Oh!

Ross:

（hetakesababyblueberetoutofashoppingboxandputsiton）Howdoesthislook?

Rachel:

Well,it'salittlelow...pickupalittle...（Rosspicksitup）alittlebitmore...（hepicksitupagain）alittlebitmore...（hetakesitoff）Thereyougo!

（pause）Nowthrowitaway!

Ross:

C'mon!

Thislooksgood!

Rachel:

Ross,please,trustme.Ibuy30fashionmagazinesamonth.Now,Idon'tknowwho'srunningforpresidentorwhothat...NATOguyis,butIdoknowthatyouhavetogetasfarawayasyoucanfromthathat. 

Ross:

Damnit!

IhavethisdatetomorrownightandIhavetolookcool!

Phoebe:

Well,youknow,ifyouwantfashionhelp,RachelandIaregoingshoppingtomorrow.You'remorethanwelcometocomewithus,right?

Ross:

Really?

Thatwouldbegreat.Imean,Ihavetodosomething,shekindateasedmeabouthowIdress. 

Joey:

Icanseewhy,niceshirt!

Ross:

You'rewearingthesameshirt. 

Joey:

StupidGaponeverycorner!

[Scene:

TheAdoptionAgencyinOhio.MonicaandChandlerareenteringwithaman.] 

Agencyguy:

Please,makeyourselfcomfortableandIwillbackinamomentwithErica. 

Monica:

Ok,thankyou.（themanleaves）Uh,wellthisisit.AreyouOK?

Chandler:

Yeah.Justweird,youknow.It'slike:

"Hi,I'mChandler.MayIhavethehumangrowinginsideyou?

" 

Monica:

Uh,we'regonnabegreat. 

Chandler:

You'regonnabegreat. 

Monica:

Well...obviously!

Agencyguy:

（heenterswithErica）Monica,Chandler.I'dlikeyoutomeetErica. 

Monica:

Hi.Itisso,sonicetomeetyou. 

Erica:

（whispering）Hi... 

Chandler:

Thankyousomuchforagreeingtoseeus. 

Erica:

Hi. 

Agencyguy:

I'llletyougetacquainted. 

Chandler:

Ok. 

Erica:

So,it'sMonicaandChandler.Ionlyknowyouasfile0W33815-D. 

Chandler:

That'swhatourfriendscallus. 

Erica:

Gosh,youknow,you'rejustsuchanamazingcouple.It's...kindofintimidating. 

Monica:

Idon'tknowaboutthat. 

Erica:

You'rekiddingme?

Imean,it'senoughthatyouareadoctor.Butontopofit,you'remarriedtoareverend?

Chandler:

（astonished）Idon'tthinkthat'sexactly... 

Monica:

（overlapping）Letherfinish,doctor. 

[Scene:

CentralPerk] 

Phoebe:

Hey!

Joey:

Hey. 

Phoebe:

Oh,myfriendSarahhadagreattimelastnight. 

Joey:

Well... 

Phoebe:

Yeah!

Soyou'regonnacallthisoneback?

Joey:

Nope. 

Phoebe:

Whatareyoutalkingabout?

Sarah'sgreat!

Joey:

Oh,really?

Youknowwhatyourgreatfrienddid?

We'reouttodinner,ok?

（hestartstalkingaboutthedateandwecanseewhathappenedthroughaflashbackvideo）We'regettingalong,havingareallynicetime.Iwasthinkingshewasreallycool.Andthen,outofnowhere... 

（SarahpicksupsomefriesfromJoey抯plateandJoeylooksveryangry.Thenwe抮ebacktoCentralPerkandJoeydoesayou-see-what-I-meanlooktoPhoebe） 

Phoebe:

That抯it?

That抯whyyouwon抰gooutwithheragain?

So,shetooksomefries,bigdeal!

Joey:

Hey,hey,look!

It抯notaboutafewfries...it抯aboutwhatthefriesrepresent. 

Phoebe:

What?

Joey:

ALLFOOD!

Phoebe:

I抦sorry,Ican抰believeIsetyouupwithsuchaMONSTER!

Joey:

Hey,hey,hey,hey.Look.Itakeagirlout,shecanorderwhatevershewants!

Themore,thebetter!

Allright?

Justdon抰orderaGardensaladandtheneatmyfood!

That抯agoodwaytolosesomefingers!

（Rachelentersfromthemaindoor） 

Phoebe:

（toRachel）Oh 

Rachel:

Hi 

Phoebe:

ThankGodyou抮ehere.Listentothis!

Rachel:

what?

Phoebe:

Joeyandmyfriendwereoutlastnightandhavingdinnerandshereachesoverandtakesafewofhisfries... 

Rachel:

Oh!

Oh,no!

（Joeylookssatisfied） 

Phoebe:

What?

Youknowabouttheplatething?

Rachel:

Oh,yeah.Joeydoesn抰sharefood.Imean,justlastweekwewerehavingbreakfastandhehadacoupleofgrapesonhisplateand... 

Phoebe:

（toJoey）Youwouldn抰letherhaveagrape?

Rachel:

Ohno!

Notme!

Emma!

（PhoebelookshorrifiedandsheturnstowatchJoey） 

Joey:

（madandpointingafingertohimself）JOEYDOESN扵SHAREFOOD!

Phoebe:

Well,Istillthinkthatit抯astupidreasonnottocallsomeoneagain.Youarecallingher!

Andifyouneedto,justgetanextraplateoffriesforthetable!

Joey:

（hethinksalittle,consideringtheoptionandseemstobequitesatisfied）Ilikethat!

Asharingbuffer!

Yeah!

I抣lordersomeextrafries!

Maybeaplateofonionrings.Yeah.Andashrimpcocktail.Andsomebuffalowings.Maybeanindividualpizza,uh?

Andsomemozzarellasticks.（helooksabsorbedinhisfoodthoughts）Whatwerewetalkingabout?

[Scene:

Aclothesstore.RossandPhoebeareshopping] 

Phoebe:

（toRoss）Thisplaceisawesome!

Ross:

Youknow,weshouldjustgo,I抦notgonnafindanythinghere!

Thisstuffisridiculous!

（Rachelarriveswithalotofclothes） 

Rachel:

Ah,thisplaceisgreat!

Phoebe:

Wow!

Ross:

Rach,comeon,I抦notgonnawearanyofthis!

（hepicksupashirt）Nothingsilver.（Rachelsighs）.Ok?

Nothingwithhair!

（Rachelsighsagain）Andnothingwithpadlocksonit!

（Rachelheavesalongdisappointingsigh）. 

Rachel:

Ross,look,Iknowthatsomeofthisstuffisoutthere,butImean,comeon,lookatthis,lookatthissweater!

（shepicksupabluesweater）.Imean,thisisjustbeautiful!

Ross:

（feelingthefabric）Wow,thisisreallysoft（helookstheprice）.Threehundredandfiftydollars?

Rachel:

Yeah,downfromsevenhundred,youaresavingliketwohundredbucks!

Ross:

Bothlogicandmatharetakingaserioushittoday. 

Phoebe:

（walkingtoRosscarryingablackleatherjacket）:

Hey,checkthisout!

It抯totallyyou!

Ross:

Wow!

Phoebe:

Yeah!

（Rosswearsthejacketsandlookathimselfinthemirror） 

Ross:

Actuallythislookslikeprettygood!

Yeah!

（heturnsandwatcheshisbackandthere抯asignonthebackofthejacket,“boyswillbeboys”）Boyswillbeboys?

Phoebe:

What?

Theywillbe!

Ross:

Allright,that抯it,I抦gettingoutofhere. 

Rachel:

No,no,no,no!

Ross,wait!

Comeon!

Youknow,there抯otherstuff.Here抯aniceshirt,lookatthesenicepants... 

Ross:

Uh,actuallythesemightlookprettygoodonme. 

Rachel:

Yes,theywill!

Youknowwhatyoushoulddo?

Justgotakeawalk,allright?

IknowyoursizeandI抦...I抦gonnapickupsomereallygoodstuffforyou. 

Ross:

Really?

Rachel:

Yes!

AndIknowwhatlookssexyonguys.Please,justwearwhatIsuggest,andshe抯gonnagonutsforyou. 

Ross:

So,you抮esaying,uh,ifIwearthesepantsImightbegettingintohers?

Rachel:

（toPhoebe）Whydomenkeeptalkingtomelikethis?

[Scene:

TheAdoptionAgencyinOhio.MonicaandChandlerarestilltalkingwithErica.] 

Chandler:

So,thefactthatIamadoctor,andmywife抯areverend,that抯importanttoyou?

Erica:

Yeah,Ireadsomegreatapplications,butthenIthought“whobetterthenaministertoraiseachild!

” 

Monica:

Amen. 

Chandler: