friends第一季第5集剧本.docx
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friends第一季第5集剧本
105TheOneWiththeEastGermanLaundryDetergent
[Scene:
CentralPerk,allsixarethere.]
Monica:
Wouldyouletitgo?
It'snotthatbigadeal.
Ross:
Notthatbigadeal?
It'samazing.Ok,youjustreachinthere,there'sonelittlemaneuver,andbam,abrarightoutthesleeve.Allright,asfarasI'mconcerned,thereisnothingaguycandothatevencomesclose.AmIright?
Rachel:
Comeon!
Youguyscanpeestandingup.
Chandler:
Wecan?
Allright,I'mtryin'that.
Joey:
Ok,youknowwhatblowsmymind?
Womencanseebreastsanytimetheywant.Youjustlookdownandtheretheyare.Howyougetanyworkdoneisbeyondme.
Phoebe:
Oh,ok,youknowwhatIdon'tget?
Thewayguyscandosomanymeanthings,andthennotevencare.
（Longpause.）
Ross:
Multipleorgasms!
OpeningCredits
[Scene:
CentralPerk,allarethere.]
Chandler:
So,Saturdaynight,thebignight,datenight,Saturdaynight,Sat-ur-daynight!
Joey:
Noplans,huh?
Chandler:
Notaone.
Ross:
Noteven,say,breakingupwithJanice?
Chandler:
Oh,right,right,shutup.
Monica:
Chandler,nobodylikesbreakingupwithsomeone.Youjustgottadoit.
Chandler:
No,Iknow,butit'sjustsohard,youknow?
Imean,you'resittingtherewithher,shehasnoideawhat'shappening,andthenyoufinallygetupthecouragetodoit,andthere'sthehorribleawkwardmomentwhenyou'vehandedherthenote.
Joey:
Whydoyouhavetobreakupwithher?
Beaman,juststopcalling.
Phoebe:
Youknow,ifyouwant,I'lldoitwithyou.
Chandler:
Oh,thanks,butIthinkshe'dfeellikewe'regangin'uponher.
Phoebe:
No,ImeanyoubreakupwithJaniceandI'llbreakupwithTony.
Ross:
Tony?
Monica:
Oh,you'rebreakingupwithTony?
Phoebe:
Yeah,Iknow,he'ssweet,butit'sjustnotfunanymore,youknow?
Idon'tknowifit'sme,orhishungerstrike,or,Idon'tknow.
Rachel:
（waitressing）Doesanybodywantanythingelse?
Ross:
Oh,yeah,lastweekyouhadawonderful,nutty,chocolateykindofacakeypiething.（Rachelgiveshimadirtylook）Nothing,just,just,I'mfine.
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2008-7-1412:
51
Phoebe:
（toRachel）What'sthematter?
Whysoscrunchy?
Rachel:
It'smyfather.HewantstogivemeaMercedesconvertible.
Ross:
Thatguy,heburnsmeup.
Rachel:
Yeah,well,it'saMercedesifImovebackhome.Oh,itwashorrible.Hecalledmeyounglady.
Chandler:
Ooh,Ihatewhenmyfathercallsmethat.
Monica:
Didhegiveyouthatwhole"You're-not-up-to-this"thingagain?
Rachel:
Oh,yeah,yeah.Actually,Igottheextendeddiscoversion,withthreechorusesof"You'llnevermakeitonyourown".
Phoebe:
（rhythmically）Uh-huh,uh-huh.
（Angela,abeautifulwomaninatightdress,enters.）
Angela:
Hi,Joey.
Joey:
Mygod,Angela.
（Angelatakesaseatatthecounter.）
Monica:
Wow,beingdumpedbyyouobviouslyagreeswithher.
Phoebe:
Areyougonnagooverthere?
Joey:
No,yeah,no,ok,butnotyet.Idon'twannaseemtooeager.OneMississippi,twoMississippi,threeMississippi.Thatseemsprettycool.（hewalksovertoher）Hey,Angela.
Angela:
（casually）Joey.
Joey:
Youlookgood.
Angela:
That'sbecauseI'mwearingadressthataccentsmyboobs.
Joey:
Youdon'tsay.
（CuttoRossandRachel,talkingnexttooneofthetables.）
Ross:
So,uh,Rachel,whatareyou,uh,what'reyoudoingtonight?
Rachel:
Oh,bigglamournight.MeandMonicaatLaundorama.
Ross:
Oh,youuh,youwannahearafreakycoincidence?
Guesswho'sdoinglaundrytheretoo?
Rachel:
Who?
Ross:
Me.Wasthatnotclear?
Hey,whydon't,um,whydon'tIjustjoinyouboth,here?
Rachel:
Don'tyouhavealaundryroominyourbuilding?
Ross:
Yes,Idohavealaundryroominmybuilding,um,butthere'sa....ratproblem.Apparentlythey'reattractedtothedryersheets,andthey'regoin'infine,butthey'recomin'outall....fluffy.Anyway,say,sevenish?
Rachel:
Sure.
（CutbacktoJoeyandAngelaatthecounter.）
Angela:
ForgetitJoey.I'mwithBobnow.
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2008-7-1413:
03
Joey:
Bob?
Whothehell'sBob?
Angela:
Bobisgreat.He'ssmart,he'ssophisticated,andhehasarealjob.You,yougoonthreeauditionsamonthandyoucallyourselfanactor,butBob...
Joey:
Comeon,weweregreattogether.Andnotjustatthefunstuff,butlike,talkingtoo.
Angela:
Yeah,well,sorry,Joe.Yousaidlet'sjustbefriends,soguesswhat?
Joey:
What?
Angela:
We'rejustfriends.
Joey:
Fine,fine,so,whydon'tthefourofusgooutandhavedinnertogethertonight?
Youknow,asfriends?
Angela:
Whatfourofus?
Joey:
Youknow,youandBob,andmeandmygirlfriend,uh,uh,Monica.
[Scene:
MonicaandRachel'sapartment,Joeyisthere,tryingtoconvinceMonicatoposeashisgirlfriend.HisplanistohookMonicaupwithAngela'sboyfriendBobandthentakeAngelabackforhimself.]
Joey:
Monica,I'mtellin'you,thisguyisperfectforyou.
Monica:
Forgetit.Notafteryourcousinwhocouldbelchthealphabet.
Joey:
Comeon.Thisguy'sgreat.Hisname'sBob.He'sAngela's...brother.He'ssmart,he'ssophisticated,andhehasarealjob.Me,Igoonthreeauditionsamonthandcallmyselfanactor,butBobis...
Monica:
（lookingoutwindow）Oh,godhelpus.
Joey:
What?
Monica:
UglyNakedGuy'slayingkitchentile.Eww!
Joey:
Eww!
Look,I'maskingafavorhere.IfIdothisforherbrother,maybeAngelawillcomebacktome.
Monica:
What'sgoingonhere?
Yougooutwithtonsofgirls.
Joey:
（proud）Iknow,but,Imadeahugemistake.Inevershouldhavebrokenupwithher.Willyouhelpme?
Please?
[Scene:
Ross'apartment,Chandlerisover.]
Ross:
（onphone）Ok,bye.（hangsup）Well,Monica'snotcoming,it'sjustgonnabemeandRachel.
Chandler:
Oh.Well,holdoncamper,areyousureyou'vethoughtthisthingthrough?
Ross:
It'slaundry.Thethinkingthroughisminimal.
Chandler:
It'sjustyouandRachel,justthetwoofyou?
Thisisadate.You'regoingonadate.
Ross:
Nuh-uh.
Chandler:
Yuh-huh.
Ross:
Sowhat'reyousayinghere?
Ishouldshaveagain,pickupsomewine,what?
Chandler:
Well,youmaywannarethinkthedirtyunderwear.Thisisbasicallythefirsttimeshe'sgonnaseeyourunderwear—youwantittobedirty?
Ross:
（sheepish）No.
Chandler:
Oh,anduh,thefabricsoftener?
Ross:
Ok,ok,nowwhatiswrongwithmySnuggles?
What,itsaysI'masensitive,warmkindaguy,youknow,likeawarm,fuzzybear.Ok,Icanpicksomethingelseupontheway.
Chandler:
Thereyougo.
[Scene:
Afancyrestaurant,JoeyandMonicaarethere,meetingAngelaandBob,whoMonicathinksisAngela'sbrother.]
Monica:
Thankyou.SowhatdoesthisBobguylooklike?
Ishetall?
Short?
Joey:
Yep.
Monica:
Which?
Joey:
Whichwhat?
Monica:
You'venevermetBob,haveyou?
Joey:
No,buthe's...
Monica:
Ohmygod,Joey,forallweknowthisguycouldbehorribly...
（AngelaandBobwalkin.Bobisgood-looking.）
Angela:
Hey,Joey.
Monica:
...horriblyattractive.I'llbeshuttingupnow.
[Scene:
CentralPerk,ChandlerandPhoebearethere,bothreadytobreakupwiththeirsignificantothers.]
Chandler:
Wherearethey?
Wherearethey?
Phoebe:
Thisisnice.Weneverdoanythingjustthetwoofus.
Chandler:
It'sgreat.Maybetomorrowwecanrentacarandrunoversomepuppies.
Phoebe:
Eww,Idon'twannadothat.
（JaniceandPhoebe'sboyfriend,Tony,walkin.）
Chandler:
Herewego.
Phoebe:
Ok,haveagoodbreak-up.
Chandler:
Hey,Janice.
Janice:
Oh,mygod,Iamsogladyoucalledme.Ihadthemostsupremelyawfulday.
Chandler:
Hey,that'snotgood.CanIgetanespressoandalatteoverhere,please?
Janice:
Wegottheproofsbackfromthatphotoshoot,youknow,theonewiththelittlevegetables.Anyway,theyprettymuchsucked,so,Iblewofftherestoftheday,andIwentshopping...（looksthroughherbags）...andIgotyou,I'mlooking,I'mlooking,I'mlooking,Igotyou...
（ChandlerseesPhoebebreakingupwithTony.Shetalkstohimforafewseconds,hugshim,andthenheleaves.Chandlerisamazedhoweasyitwasforher.）
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2008-7-1413:
04
Chandler:
What?
Janice:
What?
Chandler:
（covering）What...didyougetmethere?
Janice:
Igotyou...these.（pullsoutapairofsocks）
Chandler:
Bullwinklesocks.That'ssosweet.
Janice:
Well,IknewyouhadtheRockys,andsoIfigured,youknow,youcanwearBullwinkleandBullwinkle,oryoucanwearRockyandRocky,or,youcanmixandmatch,mooseandsquirrel.Whateveryouwant.
Chandler:
That'sgreat.
（Thedrinksarrive,andChandlerdownshisespressoinonegulp.）
Chandler:
Well,I'mgonnagetanotherespresso.CanIgetyouanotherlatte?
Janice:
（holdingthefullcup）No,no,I'mstillworkingonmine.
（ChandlerwalksovertothecounterwherePhoebeis,andisaskingheraboutthebreak-up.）
Chandler:
That'sit?
Phoebe:
Yeah,itwasreallyhard.
Chandler:
Oh,yeah,thathuglookedprettybrutal.
Phoebe:
Ok,youweren'tthere.
[Scene:
TheLaunderama,Rachelisthere,waitingforRoss.AnoldwomantakesRachel'sclothesoffthemachineandbeginsloadingitwithherthings.]
Woman:
Comin'through.Move,move.
Rachel:
Oh,'scuseme.Iwaskindausingthatmachine.
Woman:
Yeah,well,nowyou'rekindanot.
Rachel:
ButIsavedit.Iputmybasketontop.
Woman:
Oh,I'msorry,isthatyourbasket?
It'sreallypretty.Unfortunately,Idon'tseesuds.
Rachel:
What?
Woman:
Nosuds,nosave.Ok?
（Rossarrives.）
Ross:
What'sgoin'on?
Rachel:
Hi,uh,nothing.Thathorriblewomanjusttookmymachine.
Ross:
Wasyourbasketontop?
Rachel:
Yeah,but,therewerenosuds.
Ross:
So?
Rachel:
Well,youknow,nosuds,nosave.
Ross:
Nosuds?
Excuseme,holdonasecond.（towoman）That'smyfriend'smachine.
Woman:
Hey,hey,hey,herstuffwasn'tinit.
Ross:
Hey,hey,hey,that'snottheruleandyouknowit.
（ThewomanandRossstareateachother.Finallyshetakesherstuffoutofthemac
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