Ted演讲稿脆弱的力量.docx

Ted演讲稿脆弱的力量.docx

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Ted演讲稿脆弱的力量

BreneBrown：

Thepowerofvulnerability

So,I'llstartwiththis:

?

acoupleyearsago,aneventplannercalledme?

becauseIwasgoingtodoaspeakingevent.?

Andshecalled,andshesaid,?

"I'mreallystrugglingwithhow?

towriteaboutyouonthelittleflier."?

AndIthought,"Well,what'sthestruggle?

"?

Andshesaid,"Well,Isawyouspeak,?

andI'mgoingtocallyouaresearcher,Ithink,?

butI'mafraidifIcallyouaresearcher,noonewillcome,?

becausethey'llthinkyou'reboringandirrelevant."?

（Laughter）AndIwaslike,"Okay."?

Andshesaid,"ButthethingIlikedaboutyourtalk?

isyou'reastoryteller.?

SoIthinkwhatI'lldoisjustcallyouastoryteller."?

Andofcourse,theacademic,insecurepartofme?

waslike,"You'regoingtocallmeawhat?

"?

Andshesaid,"I'mgoingtocallyouastoryteller."?

AndIwaslike,"Whynotmagicpixie?

"?

（Laughter）?

Iwaslike,"Letmethinkaboutthisforasecond."?

Itriedtocalldeeponmycourage.?

AndIthought,youknow,Iamastoryteller.?

I'maqualitativeresearcher.?

Icollectstories;that'swhatIdo.?

Andmaybestoriesarejustdatawithasoul.?

AndmaybeI'mjustastoryteller.?

AndsoIsaid,"Youknowwhat?

?

Whydon'tyoujustsayI'maresearcher-storyteller."?

Andshewent,"Haha.There'snosuchthing."（Laughter）?

SoI'maresearcher-storyteller,?

andI'mgoingtotalktoyoutoday--?

we'retalkingaboutexpandingperception--?

andsoIwanttotalktoyouandtellsomestories?

aboutapieceofmyresearch?

thatfundamentallyexpandedmyperception?

andreallyactuallychangedthewaythatIliveandlove?

andworkandparent.

Andthisiswheremystorystarts.?

WhenIwasayoungresearcher,doctoralstudent,?

myfirstyearIhadaresearchprofessor?

whosaidtous,?

"Here'sthething,?

ifyoucannotmeasureit,itdoesnotexist."?

AndIthoughthewasjustsweet-talkingme.?

Iwaslike,"Really?

"andhewaslike,"Absolutely."?

Andsoyouhavetounderstand?

thatIhaveabachelor'sinsocialwork,amaster'sinsocialwork,?

andIwasgettingmyPh.D.insocialwork,?

somyentireacademiccareer?

wassurroundedbypeople?

whokindofbelieved?

inthe"life'smessy,loveit."?

AndI'mmoreofthe,"life'smessy,?

cleanitup,organizeit?

andputitintoabentobox."?

（Laughter）?

AndsotothinkthatIhadfoundmyway,?

tofoundacareerthattakesme--?

really,oneofthebigsayingsinsocialwork?

is,"Leanintothediscomfortofthework."?

AndI'mlike,knockdiscomfortupsidethehead?

andmoveitoverandgetallA's.?

Thatwasmymantra.?

SoIwasveryexcitedaboutthis.?

AndsoIthought,youknowwhat,thisisthecareerforme,?

becauseIaminterestedinsomemessytopics.?

ButIwanttobeabletomakethemnotmessy.?

Iwanttounderstandthem.?

Iwanttohackintothesethings?

Iknowareimportant?

andlaythecodeoutforeveryonetosee.

SowhereIstartedwaswithconnection.?

Because,bythetimeyou'reasocialworkerfor10years,?

whatyourealize?

isthatconnectioniswhywe'rehere.?

It'swhatgivespurposeandmeaningtoourlives.?

Thisiswhatit'sallabout.?

Itdoesn'tmatterwhetheryoutalktopeoplewhoworkinsocialjusticeandmentalhealthandabuseandneglect,?

whatweknowisthatconnection,?

theabilitytofeelconnected,is--?

neurobiologicallythat'showwe'rewired--?

it'swhywe'rehere.?

SoIthought,youknowwhat,I'mgoingtostartwithconnection.?

Well,youknowthatsituation?

whereyougetanevaluationfromyourboss,?

andshetellsyou37thingsyoudoreallyawesome,?

andonething--an"opportunityforgrowth?

"?

（Laughter）?

Andallyoucanthinkaboutisthatopportunityforgrowth,right?

?

Well,apparentlythisisthewaymyworkwentaswell,?

because,whenyouaskpeopleaboutlove,?

theytellyouaboutheartbreak.?

Whenyouaskpeopleaboutbelonging,?

they'lltellyoutheirmostexcruciatingexperiences?

ofbeingexcluded.?

Andwhenyouaskpeopleaboutconnection,?

thestoriestheytoldmewereaboutdisconnection.

Soveryquickly--reallyaboutsixweeksintothisresearch--?

Iranintothisunnamedthing?

thatabsolutelyunraveledconnection?

inawaythatIdidn'tunderstandorhadneverseen.?

AndsoIpulledbackoutoftheresearch?

andthought,Ineedtofigureoutwhatthisis.?

Anditturnedouttobeshame.?

Andshameisreallyeasilyunderstood?

asthefearofdisconnection:

?

Istheresomethingaboutme?

that,ifotherpeopleknowitorseeit,?

thatIwon'tbeworthyofconnection?

?

ThethingsIcantellyouaboutit:

?

it'suniversal;weallhaveit.?

Theonlypeoplewhodon'texperienceshame?

havenocapacityforhumanempathyorconnection.?

Noonewantstotalkaboutit,?

andthelessyoutalkaboutitthemoreyouhaveit.?

Whatunderpinnedthisshame,?

this"I'mnotgoodenough,"--?

whichweallknowthatfeeling:

?

"I'mnotblankenough.I'mnotthinenough,?

richenough,beautifulenough,smartenough,?

promotedenough."?

Thethingthatunderpinnedthis?

wasexcruciatingvulnerability,?

thisideaof,?

inorderforconnectionto