北京一模作文解析汇编.docx
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北京一模作文解析汇编
2020北京一摸作文解析汇编
海淀一模
第三部分:
书面表达(共两节,35分)
第一节(15分)
51.假设你是红星中学高三学生李华。
你的美国朋友Jim得知你对探月感兴趣,发来邮件和你讨论该话题。
请你给他回复邮件,内容包括:
1.月亮在中国文化中的寓意;
2.你对人类探月活动的看法。
注意:
1.词数不少于50;
2.开头和结尾已给出,不计入总词数。
提示词:
探月moonexploration
DearJim,
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Yours,
LiHua
【答案】DearJim,
Iamgladtosharewithyoumoredetailsaboutmypassionformoonexploration.
ItstartedwithwhatIhadbeentoldaboutthemoonasakidandgrewstrongerwithtime.Asyoucanguess,thereisrichculturalmeaningbehindthefaithfulcompanion伴侣oftheearth.InChineseculture,asopposedtothemasculinity阳刚之气ofthesun,themoonisoftencomparedtoaquietandelegantlady.Also,itremindspeopleoftheirfamilyandfriendsfaraway.Peoplefeelreassured安心knowingthattheyarewatchingthesamemoonasifthemooncouldserveastheirmessenger.
Humanbeingshaveneverstoppedexploringourclosestneighbor.Ibelieveitisofgreatsignificance.Thedevelopmentofrelevanttechnologyfacilitates促进theprogressofscienceingeneral,whichbenefitsoureverydaylife.What’smore,Ithinkmoonexplorationshowsanimportanthumantrait特征,thatis,curiosityabouttheunknown,whichisthedrivingforcethathasbroughtourspeciesthisfar.
IhopeyoufindwhatI‘vementionedaboveinterestingandreasonable.Bytheway,whatdoyouthinkofwhenyougazeatthemoon?
Writebackandtellmeaboutit!
Yours,
LiHua
【解析】
【分析】
本篇书面表达属于应用文。
要求考生写一封信给美国朋友Jim,和Jim探讨有关探月的话题。
【详解】第一步:
审题
体裁:
应用文
时态:
根据提示,时态应为一般现在时
人称:
第一人称为主
结构:
总分法
总分法指把主题句作为总说,把支持句作为分说,并以这种方式安排所写内容。
要求:
1.月亮在中国文化中的寓意;
2.你对人类探月活动的看法。
第二步:
列提纲(重点词组)
moonexploration;becomparedto;remindsb.ofsb./sth.;asif;serveas;gazeat
第三步:
连词成句
1.Iamgladtosharewithyoumoredetailsaboutmypassionformoonexploration.
2.themoonisoftencomparedtoaquietandelegantlady.
3.Also,itremindspeopleoftheirfamilyandfriendsfaraway.
4.Peoplefeelreassuredknowingthattheyarewatchingthesamemoonasifthemooncouldserveastheirmessenger.
5.Bytheway,whatdoyouthinkofwhenyougazeatthemoon?
(根据提示及关键词(组)进行遣词造句,注意主谓一致和时态问题。
)
第四步:
连句成篇(衔接词)
1.表文章结构顺序:
Firstofall,Firstly/First,Secondly/Second…Andthen,Finally,Intheend,Atlast,Lastbutnotleast
2.表并列补充关系:
Whatismore,Besides,Moreover,Furthermore,Inaddition,Aswellas,notonly…but(also),including,also
3.表转折对比关系:
However,Onthecontrary,but,Although+clause(从句),Inspiteof+n/doing,Ontheonehand…,Ontheotherhand…Some…,whileothers…,asfor,so…that…
4.表因果关系:
Because,As,So,Thus,Therefore,Asaresult
5表换一种方式表达:
Inotherwords,thatistosay,
6.表进行举例说明:
Forexample;Forinstance;suchas+n/doing
7.表陈述事实:
Infact,franklyspeaking
8.表选择:
either…or…,or
连句成文,注意使用恰当的连词进行句子之间的衔接与过渡,书写一定要规范清晰。
第五步:
润色修改
【点睛】范文内容完整,结构严谨,要点全面,语言规范,语篇连贯,词数适当,上下文意思连贯,符合逻辑关系。
作者在范文中使用了主从复合句,如ItstartedwithwhatIhadbeentoldaboutthemoonasakid这句话中用了what引导的宾语从句,如whichisthedrivingforcethathasbroughtourspeciesthisfar中用了which引导的非限制性定语从句;使用了非常好的短语,如becomparedto,remindsb.ofsb./sth.,serveas,gazeat等,为文章增色不少;并注意了句子的衔接,如Also,What’smore,Bytheway。
全文中没有中国式英语的句式,显示了很高的驾驭英语的能力。
另外,文章思路清晰、层次分明,上下句转换自然,为文章增色添彩。
第二节(20分)
52.假设你是红星中学高三学生李华。
请根据下面四幅图的先后顺序,写一篇英文周记,记述你确定大学志愿的过程。
注意:
词数不少于60。
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
【答案】Thepastweekwasbynomeansordinary,forIhadfinallydecidedonmymajor.
ThisMonday,thetopicwasbroughtupagainbymyparentsduringdinner.Ihadaskedmyselfthesamequestionmanytimes,butstillcouldn’tmakeupmymind.Seeingmyhesitantlook,mompattedmeonmyshoulder,hersmileencouragingmetodomoreresearch.
Laterthatevening,IturnedtotheInternetforhelp.Facedwithsomanychoices,Iseemedtobelost.Lawcouldbeagoodchoice.Businessandcomputersciencewerealsoattractingtopstudents.Inoteddownoneafteranothermajor,butcrossedthemalloff,forwhatIwante