作文闪光点的制造举例.docx

作文闪光点的制造举例.docx

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作文闪光点的制造举例

1.适当用被动代替主动，这样能更客观的反映事实,句子开头不要总是用we/I（比如写结尾时不用weshouldpayattentionto而用Attentionshouldbepaidto.）举个经典结尾2004年六月六级作文的最后一段：

Itis,therefore,hightimethatsomeapplicableapproacheswereimplementedbytheserviceindustrylikethat.Thus，itscompetitiveedgewillbesharpenedeffectively.

　　2.善于使用插入语，比如说把副词、连接词等，作插入语放在中间，一般放在主语、动词或者助动词后，两边分别加上逗号。

　　如however/therefore/forexample/Ibelieve做插入语放在中间，一般放在动词，助动词后，两边分别加上逗号。

　　比如说：

Otherindividuals,however,taketheattitudethat…

　　3.一定要学会换词，换形象，具体的代替太宽泛的。

（考试中一般不要出现good,bad,many,thing,think,people,opinion等等）比如上面例子中，applicable代替proper;approaches代替ways;implement代替carryout;sharpenone'scompetitiveedge代替enhanceone'scompetitiveness（提高某物竞争力）

下面举一篇我班上一位同学写的优秀作文（14分）的例子，看看他是如何运用各类写作技巧的。

这位同学把老师上课讲的各类写作手法和精彩替换和句型都用上了，作文有了很大的提高。

　　标题：

ComputerandI

   第一段：

Ineverforgettheexceedinglythrillingdaywhenmymotherboughtmeacomputerasbirthdaypresent,whichexertedatremendousfascinationonmesothatIindulgedmyselfingooglinganarmyofusefulinformationIhadexpected,andenjoyaseaofmelodiousclassicmusic.ThatnightIwassleepless,feelingthatthewholeworldbelongedtome.

   exceedingly替换very

　　thrilling替换exciting

　　sth.exertatremendousfascinationonsb替换sb.beinterestedinsth.

　　google替换search

   anarmyof替换alotof 

   第二段：

Thedawnofthenewcenturywitnessedtheincreasingpopularityofcomputers.Coincidentwiththeadvancementofscienceandtechnology,computerspouringintothecurrentsocietyasafashionareappealingtogrowingindividuals.Itisnoexaggerationtosaythatwehavebeensubmergedbythem,inlargemeasure!

　　Thedawnofthenewcenturywitnessed是一个精彩句型，用来描述在某个时期发生了什么事情；

　　Increasingpopularity替换moreandmorepopular

　　Coincidentwith…非常地道的词汇，表达"与…一致"的意思，替换With…

　　Advancement替换development

　　Pourinto（floodinto/swarminto）替换enterinto

　　Current（currently）替换now

　　Appealtosb.替换sb.beinterestedinsth.

　　Growingindividuals替换moreandmorepeople

   Itisnoexaggerationtosay经典句型，说某事是毫不夸张的

   第三段：

Tobeginwith,wecan,freely,searchdesiredinformationatanymoment.Littlebylittle,ourknowledgewillbewellenriched,andourhorizonswillbegreatlybroadened.Additionally,wecangethugerecreationsonlinebychatting,playinggames,ordeliveringemail.

   Wecan,freely,search用了插入语的写作手法

　　ourknowledgewillbewellenriched,andourhorizonswillbegreatlybroadened.用了非常精彩的被动

　　Additionally替换Inaddition/Besides

   Deliver替换send

   第四段：

Thereisnodenyingthat,however,computerscanfunctioninthedisserviceofhumanbeings,inaway,especiallythegrowingviolence,pornpictures,AV-filmsemergingonthescreen,whichleadsquietafewnetcitizenstocopying.

　　Thereisnodenyingthat,however,computerscanfunctioninthedisserviceofhumanbeings,这个句子有三个精彩之处，首先Thereisnodenyingthat这个句型，还有however作为插入语，functioninthedisserviceof替换doharmto

　　Emerging代替appearing（fading代替disappearing）

　　Netcitizen网民，属于精彩用词

   第五段：

Asaclassicproverbgoesthatnogardenhasnoweeds.Computersdoplayapositiveroleinthedevelopmentofpeople'lives,despiteasliceofunfavorableimpacts.Weshould,therefore,takeadvantageofthefruitsandavoidtheoppositefacet.

　　Nogardenhasnoweeds替换Everycoinhastwosides

　　Computersdoplay，do强调

　　Positive替换important/good等

　　Asliceof替换apartof

　　Unfavorable替换bad

　　Impacts替换effects/influences

　　Weshould,therefore,takeadvantageof…使用插入语

　　Fruits（而且fruits用的非常形象，merits/virtues）替换advantage（defects替换disadvantage）

   Facet替换aspect

　　各位同学，上面的作文里有这么多精彩的闪光点，作文怎么会不得高分呢！

　　以下是30个最经典的替换词，各位同学可以参考一下。

　　1.individuals,characters,folks代替（people,persons）

　　2:

positive,favorable,rosy（美好的），promising

　　（有希望的），perfect,pleasurable,excellent,outstanding代替good

　　3:

dreadful,unfavorable,poor,adverse（有害的）代替bad

　　如果bad做表语，可以有belessimpressive代替

　　eg.Anarmyofcollegestudentsindulgethemselvesinplayinggames,enjoyingromancewith

girls/boysorkillingtimepassivelyintheirdorms.Whenitapproachestograduation,asaresult,theyfindtheiracademicrecordsarelessimpressive.

　　4.（anarmyof,anoceanof,aseaof,amultitudeof,many,ifnotmost）代替many.

　　注：

用many,ifnotmost一定要小心，many后一定要有词。

　　eg.Manyindividuals,ifnotmost,harbortheideathat….同理用most,ifnotall,代替most.

　　5:

asliceof,quietafew,several代替some

　　6:

harbortheideathat,taketheattitudethat,

　　holdtheviewthat,itiswidelysharedthat,

　　itisuniversallyacknowledgedthat）替think

　　（因为是书面语，所以要加that）

　　7:

affair,business,matter代替thing

　　8:

shared代common

　　9.reaphugefruits代替getmuchbenefit）

　　10:

formypart,frommyownperspective代替inmyopinion

　　11:

Increasing（ly）,growing代替moreandmore（注意没有growingly这种形式。

所以当修饰名词时用

increasing/growing.修饰形容词，副词用increasingly.

　　eg.sthhasgainedgrowingpopularity.

　　Sthisincreasinglypopularwiththeadvancementofsth.

　　12.littleifanything,或littleornothing代替hardly

　　13..benefitial，rewarding代替helpful，bebeneficialof

　　14.shopper,client,consumer,purchaser,代替customer

　　15.exceedingly,extremely代替very

　　16.hardlyunnecessary,hardlyinevitable...代替necessary,

　　evitable

　　17.sthappealstosb,sthexertsatremendousfascinationonsb代替sbtakeinterestin

　　18.captureone'sattention代替attractone'sattention.

　　19.facet,dimension,sphere代aspect

　　20.beindicativeof,besuggestiveof,befearfulof代indicate,suggest,fear

　　21.giveriseto,leadto,resultin,trigger代替cause.

　　22.Thereareseveralreasonsbehindsth代替..reasonsforsth

　　23.desire代替want.

　　24.pourattentioninto代替payattentionto

　　25.bearinmindthat代替remember

　　26.enjoy,possess代替have（注意process是过程的意思）

　　27.Interaction代替communication

　　28.frownonsth代替beagainst,disagreewithsth

　　29.tonameonlyafew,asanexample代替forexample

　　30.nextto/virtuallyimpossible,代替nearlyimpossible