To Room NineteenDORIS LESSIN十九号房英文原文.docx

To Room NineteenDORIS LESSIN十九号房英文原文.docx

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ToRoomNineteenDORISLESSIN十九号房英文原文

DORISLESSING

Lessing1/les/,Doris（May）（b.1919）,Britishnovelistandshort-storywriter,broughtupinRhodesia.AnactiveCommunistinheryouth,shefrequentlydealswithsocialandpoliticalconflictsinherfiction,especiallyastheyaffectwomen;TheGoldenNotebook（1962）washailedasalandmarkbythewomen'smovement.OtherworksincludeTheGrassisSinging（1950）aboutinterracialrelationshipsinAfrica,andaquintetofscience-fictionnovelscollectivelyentitledCanopusinArgus:

Archives（1979-83）.ShewonNobelPrizeforLiteraturein2007.

ToRoomNineteen

Thisisastory,Isuppose,aboutafailureinintelligence:

theRawlings’marriagewasgroundedinintelligence.

Theywereolderwhentheymarriedthanmostoftheirmarriedfriends:

intheirwell-seasonedlatetwenties.Bothhadhadanumberofaffairs,sweetratherthanbitter;andwhentheyfellinlove—fortheydidfallinlove—hadknowneachotherforsometime.Theyjokedthattheyhadsavedeachother“fortherealthing.”Thattheyhadwaitedsolong（butnottoolong）forthisrealthingwastothemaproofoftheirsensiblediscrimination.Agoodmanyoftheirfriendshadmarriedyoung,andnow（theyfelt）probablyregrettedlostopportunities;whileothers,stillunmarried,seemedtothemarid,self-doubting,andlikelytomakedesperateorromanticmarriages.

Notonlythey,butothers,felttheywerewellmatched:

theirfriends’delightwasanadditionalproofoftheirhappiness.Theyhadplayedthesameroles,maleandfemale,inthisgrouporset,ifsuchawide,looselyconnected,constantlychangingconstellationofpeoplecouldbecalledaset.Theyhadbothbecome,byvirtueoftheirmoderation,theirhumour,andtheirabstinencefrompainfulexperiencepeopletowhomotherscameforadvice.Theycouldbe,andwere,reliedon.Itwasoneofthosecasesofamanandawomanlinkingthemselveswhomnooneelsehadeverthoughtoflinking,probablybecauseoftheirsimilarities.Buttheneveryoneexclaimed:

Ofcourse!

Howright!

Howwasitweneverthoughtofitbefore!

Andsotheymarriedamidgeneralrejoicing,andbecauseoftheirforesightandtheirsenseforwhatwasprobable,nothingwasasurprisetothem.

Bothhadwell-paidjobs.MatthewwasasubeditoronalargeLondonnewspaper,andSusanworkedinanadvertisingfirm.Hewasnotthestuffofwhicheditorsorpublicisedjournalistsaremade,buthewasmuchmorethan“asubeditor,”beingoneoftheessentialbackgroundpeoplewhoinfactsteady,inspireandmakepossiblethepeopleinthelimelight.Hewascontentwiththisposition.Susanhadatalentforcommercialdrawing.Shewashumorousabouttheadvertisementsshewasresponsiblefor,butshedidnotfeelstronglyaboutthemonewayortheother.

Both,beforetheymarried,hadhadpleasantflats,buttheyfeltitunwisetobaseamarriageoneitherflat,becauseitmightseemlikeasubmissionofpersonalityonthepartoftheonewhoseflatitwasnot.TheymovedintoanewflatinSouthKensingtonontheclearunderstandingthatwhentheirmarriagehadsettleddown（aprocesstheyknewwouldnottakelong,andwasinfactmoreahumorousconcessiontopopularwisdomthanwhatwasduetothemselves）theywouldbuyahouseandstartafamily.

Andthisiswhathappened.Theylivedintheircharmingflatfortwoyears,givingpartiesandgoingtothem,beingapopularyoungmarriedcouple,andthenSusanbecamepregnant,shegaveupherjob,andtheyboughtahouseinRichmond.Itwastypicalofthiscouplethattheyhadasonfirst,thenadaughter,thentwins,sonanddaughter.Everythingright,appropriate,andwhateveryonewouldwishfor,iftheycouldchoose.Butpeopledidfeelthesetwohadchosen;thisbalancedandsensiblefamilywasnomorethanwhatwasduetothembecauseoftheirinfalliblesenseforchoosingright.

AndsotheylivedwiththeirfourchildrenintheirgardenedhouseinRichmondandWerehappy.Theyhadeverythingtheyhadwantedandhadplanned

for.

Andyet...

Well,eventhiswasexpected,thattheremustbeacertainflatness....

Yes,yes,ofcourse,itwasnaturaltheysometimesfeltlikethis.Likewhat?

Theirlifeseemedtobelikeasnakebitingitstail.Matthew’sjobforthesakeofSusan,children,house,andgarden—whichcaravanseraineededawell-paidjobtomaintainit.AndSusan’spracticalintelligenceforthesakeofMatthew,thechildren,thehouseandthegarden—whichunitwouldhavecollapsedinaweekwithouther.

Buttherewasnopointaboutwhicheithercouldsay:

“Forthesakeofthisisalltherest.”Children?

Butchildrencan’tbeacentreoflifeandareasonforbeing.Theycanbeathousandthingsthataredelightful,interesting,satisfying,buttheycan’tbeawellspringtolivefrom.Ortheyshouldn’tbe.SusanandMatthewknewthatwellenough.

Matthew’sjob?

Ridiculous.Itwasaninterestingjob,butscarcelyareasonforliving.Matthewtookprideindoingitwell;buthecouldhardlybeexpectedtobeproudofthenewspaper:

thenewspaperheread,hisnewspaper,wasnottheoneheworkedfor.

Theirloveforeachother?

Well,thatwasnearestit.Ifthiswasn’tacentre,whatwas?

Yes,itwasaroundthispoint,theirlove,thatthewholeextraordinarystructurerevolved.Forextraordinaryitcertainlywas.BothSusanandMatthewhadmomentsofthinkingso,oflookinginsecretdisbeliefatthisthingtheyhadcreated:

marriage,fourchildren,bighouse,garden,charwomen,friends,cars...andthisthing,thisentity,allofithadcomeintoexistence,beenblownintobeingoutofnowhere,becauseSusanlovedMatthewandMatthewlovedSusan.Extraordinary.Sothatwasthecentralpoint,thewellspring.

Andifonefeltthatitsimplywasnotstrongenough,importantenough,tosupportitall,wellwhosefaultwasthat?

CertainlyneitherSusan’snorMatthew’s.Itwasinthenatureofthings.Andtheysensiblyblamedneitherthemselvesnoreachother.

Onthecontrary,theyusedtheirintelligencetopreservewhattheyhadcreatedfromapainfulandexplosiveworld:

theylookedaroundthem,andtooklessons.Allaroundthem,marriagescollapsing,orbreaking,orrubbingalong（evenworse,theyfelt）.Theymustnotmakethesamemistakes,theymustnot.

Theyhadavoidedthepitfallsomanyoftheirfriendshadfalleninto—ofbuyingahouseinthecountryforthesakeofthechildren,sothatthehusbandbecameaweekendhusband,aweekendfather,andthewifealwayscarefulnottoaskwhatwentoninthetownflatwhichtheycalled（injoke）abachelorflat.No,Matthewwasafull-timehusband,afull-timefather,andatnights,inthebigmarriedbedinthebigmarriedbedroom（whichhadanattractiveviewoftheriver）,theylaybesideeachothertalkingandhetoldherabouthisday,andwhathehaddone,andwhomhehadmeet;andshetoldhimaboutherday（notasinteresting,butthatwasnotherfault）,forbothknewofthehiddenresentmentsanddeprivationsofthewomanwhohaslivedherownlife—andaboveall,hasearnedherownliving—andisnowdependentonahusbandforoutsideinterestsandmoney.

NordidSusanmakethemistakeoftakingajobforthesakeofherindependence,whichshemightverywellhavedone,sinceheroldfirm,missingherqualitiesofhumour,balance,andsense,invitedheroftentogoback.Childrenneededtheirmothertoacertainage,thatbothparentsknewandagreedon;andwhenthesefourhealthywiselybrought-upchildrenwereoftherightage,Susanwouldworkagain,becausesheknew,andsodidhe,whathappenedtowomenoffiftyattheheightoftheirenergyandability,withgrown-upchildrenwhonolongerneededtheirfulldevotion.

Soherewasthiscouple,testingtheirmarriage,lookingafterit,treatingitlikeasmallboatfullofhelplesspeopleinaverystormysea.Well,ofcourse,soitwas....Thestormsoftheworldwerebad,butnottooclose—whichisnottosaytheywereselfishlyfelt:

SusanandMatthewwerebothwell-informedandresponsiblepeople.Andtheinnerstormsandquicksandswereunderstoodandcharted.Soeverythingwasallright.Everythingwasinorder.Yes,thingswereundercontrol.

Sowhatdiditmatteriftheyfeltdry,flat?

Peoplelikethemselves,fedonahundredbooks（psychological,anthropological,sociological）couldscarcelybeunpreparedforthedry,controlledwistfulnesswhichisthedistinguishingmarkoftheintelligentmarriage.Twopeople,endowedwitheducation,withdiscrimination,withjudgement,linkedtogethervoluntarilyfromtheirwilltobehappytogetherandtobeofusetoothers—oneseesthemeverywhere,oneknowsthem,oneevenisthatthingoneself:

sadnessbecausesomuchisafterallsolittle.Thesetwo,unsurprised,turnedtowardseachotherwithevenmorecourtesyandgentlelove:

thiswaslife,thattwopeople,nomatterhowcarefullychosen,couldnotbeeverythingtoeachother.Infact,eventosayso,tothinkinsuchaway,wasbanal,theywereashamedtodoit.

Itwasbanal,too,whenonenightMatthewcamehomelateandconfessedhehadbeentoaparty,takenagirlhomeandsleptwithher.Susanforgavehim,ofcourse.Exceptthatforgivenessishardlytheword.Understanding,yes.Butifyouunderstandsomething,youdon’tforgiveit,youarethethingitself:

forgivenessisforwhatyoudon’tunderstand.Norhadheconfessed—whatsortofwordisthat?

Thewholethingwasnotimportant.Afterall,yearsagotheyhadjoked:

OfcourseI’mnotgoingtobefaithfultoyou,noonecanbefaithfultooneotherpersonforawholelifetime.（Andtherewastheword“faithful”—stupid,allthesewords,stupid,belongingtoasavageoldworld.）Buttheincidentleftbothofthemirritable.Strange,buttheywerebothbad-tempered,annoyed.Therewassomethingunassimilablea