How I Met Your Mother S01E05.docx

How I Met Your Mother S01E05.docx

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HowIMetYourMotherS01E05

那么,孩子们,你们想听我变聋的那个故事吗?

So,kids,wouldyouliketohearthestoryofthetimeIwentdeaf?

他干嘛问我们?

Whydoesheevenask?

是啊,无论如何他都会讲给我们听Iknow,he'sjustgoingtotellusanyway.

我确实会讲Isuream.

故事的开始是Robin来到酒吧说……Itallbeganwhenrobinstrolledintothebarandsaid...

说你是我的小贱人sayyou'remybitch.

我是你的小贱人这次是为什么?

I'myourbitch.Whythistime?

因为今晚我将把大家全带进OkayCausetonightI'mgettingusallintookay.

"Okay"太棒了!

"Okay,"awesome!

怎么回事?

我刚才中风了吗?

What'sgoingon?

DidIjusthaveastroke?

Okay是一个夜总会的名字Okayisthenameofaclub.

对,这有点让人难以置信Yeah,it'ssupposedtobeincrediblyexclusive.

有一次我和朋友在外面等了两个小时,还是进不去Thisfriendofmineoncewaitedoutsidefortwohours,couldn'tgetin.

你的朋友叫"你"?

Afriendofyoursnamedyou?

不,我的朋友叫"闭嘴"No,afriendofminenamedshutup.

好吧,夜总会的老板和我去同一个健身馆Yeah,well,theownergoestomygym.

结果发现他是我播报的都市新闻的忠实观众Itturnsoutthatheisafanofmyreportingformetronewsone.

所以我在今晚出席的名单上SonowI'monthelistfortonight.

干的不错,SherbotskyNicegoing,sherbotsky.

你又长又难拼的名字变得家喻户晓了You'rebecomingalonganddifficult-to-spellhouseholdname.

他甚至把我列入了V.I.P.房的名单He'sevengettingmeintotheV.I.P.Room.

对,他只是想让你看看他的V.I.P.如果你知道我在说什么Yeah,hejustwantstoshowyouhisownV.I.P.,IfyouknowwhatImean.

好吧,在你的小世界里V.I.P.代表什么?

Allright,whatdoesV.I.P.Standforinyourlittleuniverse?

嗯,我知道"p"表示阴茎Well,Iknowthat"p"ispenis.

好吧,你们两个会跟我一起去我应该邀请Marshal和Lily吗?

Great,soyouguysarein.ShouldIinvitemarshalandlily?

有什么好笑的呢?

Whywasthisfunny?

我来解释给你们听I'llexplain.

你们知道,Lily是幼儿园老师Yousee,lilywasakindergartenteacher,

命中注定的一次午休时间时……andsoonefatefulnaptime...

Austin和我在迷人的小床上共渡周末austinandIspentsaturdaynightatthemostcharminglittlebedandbreakfast.

那太美妙了Itwassonice.

这个周末你怎么过的?

Whatdidyoudothisweekend?

来吧,加油,咕嘟,咕嘟,咕嘟!

Go,comeon,chug,chug,chug!

十秒!

Tenconds!

喝干了,输家!

Suckit,losers!

你知道,与未婚夫普通平静的日子youknow,quiettimewiththefiance

我也不知道,我就觉得丢脸Idon'tknow,Ijustfeltembarrassed.

Claire和我同年，她和丈夫享受着所有成年人做的上等的事情Claireismyageandsheandherhusbanddoallthisclassygrownupstuff.

也许我们也应该开始做些成熟的事Maybeweshouldstartdoingsomegrownupstuff.

我们早上做的不就是吗That'ssomeprettygrownupstuffwedidthismorning.

对啊,但不是上等的Yeah,butitwasn'tclassy.

也许我们该办个品酒会Maybeweshouldhaveawine-tastingparty.

我喜欢酒我也喜欢品尝Ilikewine.Iliketasting.

你知道我能狂欢来狂欢吧来摇摆吧成人风格YouknowIcanparty.Let'sdoit.Let'srockit.Maturitystyle.

以后她就会鼓动他参加读书俱乐部,烹饪班……Andeversincethenshe'sbeensigninghimupforbookclubs,cookingclasses...

所有能把下月千元工资花掉的事情allthethingsyoudowhenyouknowwhereyournextthousandlaysarecomingfrom

所以,不,Lily和Marshall不会和我们一起去so,no,lilyandarshallwillnotbejoiningus.

知道了不管怎样Ted,我要说的第二件事Gotit.Anyway,ted,parttwoofmystory:

我朋友kelly也会去Myfriendkelly'sgoingtobethere.

Kelly,看样子我要爱上她？

Kelly,whosupposedlyI'mgoingtolove.

噢,你会喜欢上Kelly的Oh,youaregoingtolovekelly.

她很风趣,很聪明,她单身……She'sfun,she'ssmart,shelivesinthemoment...

翻译:

她很丑,她很丑她是丑人中的丑人translation:

She'sugly,she'sugly,sheugsintheugly.

噢,还有她很正点Oh,andshe'stotallyhot.

好吧,我猜今晚我可以接手她Okay,IguessIcouldtakeheroffyourhandsforanevening.

那你还有别的正点，单身的朋友吗?

sodoyouhaveanyotherhot,singlefriends?

没有Kelly……No.Kelly...

噢,天那,Ted,你的运动衫!

oh,no,ted,yourblazer!

怎么,怎么,怎么?

What,what,what?

有人弄的如此耀眼Somebodyspilledgorgeousalloverit.

--不错--谢谢--Loveit.--Thankyou.

瞧他完美的发型Andhishairwasperfect.

我们穿了一样的衬衫We'rewearingthesameshirt.

噢,等等,不,是我的衬衫反射在你的上了Oh,wait,no,that'sjustmyshirtreflectedinyours.

女孩们和鱼的24条相同点之一是Oneofthe24similaritiesbetweengirlsandfishisthat

他们都被发光的物体吸引they'rebothattractedtoshinyobjects.

你从来没看过我的博客,是不?

Youreallyneverreadmyblog,doyou?

好吧,罐头小子,我们狂欢去吧Allright,tinman,let'shitit.

好吧,嗯好好享受你们的迪斯科,伙计们Allright,well,havefunatyourlittledisco,guys.

你们两到底怎么了?

Whatthehellhappenedtothesetwo?

我和Marshall长大了MarshallandIarejustgrowingup.

对,这会变的很不错Yeah,it'sgoingtobesweet,too.

就象今晚,我们将品尝所有这些不同的酒Liketonight,we'retastingallthesedifferentwines,

与这些美味的奶酪组合起来pairingthemupwiththesecoolgourmetcheeses.

哇,谁能料到忠于一段异性恋情Wow,whoknewbeinginacommittedheterosexualretionship

……可以让一个男人变得这么像同性恋？

couldmakeaguysogay?

好吧,酷小孩们要走了Allright,coolkidsareleavingnow.

爷爷,奶奶,不用等我们了Grandma,grandpa,don'twaitup

天那,噢,我的天那今晚这里有好多辣妹啊my,oh,my.Therearesomeferocious-lookingcutletsheretonight.

好吧,勾引计划专栏,找个辣妹Allright,hookupstrategy.Colon,findacutlet,

早早锁定住她lockherinearly,

整晚纠缠她直到她属于我grindwithherallnightillshe'smine.

你这些计划起过作用吗?

Dothesestrategieseverworkforyou?

应该这样问这些计划什么时候没起作用?

Thequestionis:

Dothesestrategiesevernotworkforme?

两个问题,答案都是一半一半Eitherway,theanswerisabouthalfthetime.

我的小贱人们!

瞧我的呃,他们是和我一起的Mybitches!

Checkthisoutum,they'rewithme.

呃,我们也是她的小贱人Um,we'reherbitches,too.

我们还是在这等着Welwaithere.

依据现在的利率情况Andwithtoday'sinterestrateclimate,

你得去申请30年的低压贷款you'vegottogoforthe30-yearfixedmortgage.

--噢,是啊--对--Oh,totally.--Yeah.

嗯,Marshall,说说你们的事吧?

So,marshall,whataboutyou?

你们在考虑买房生小孩吗?

Youguysthinkinghouse,baby?

噢!

不,我们会等等再考虑生孩子的事Oh!

No,thinkwe'regoingtowaitonthebabything.

我是说,我喜欢小孩小孩很可爱Imean,Ilovebabies.Babiesrule.

小胖胳膊还有……Pudgyarmsandstuff...

但是,呃,他们让你显老but,uh,theymakeyouold.

就像把你困在原地的大铁锚……Kindoflikethisanchorweighingyoudowntoonespot...

永远困住forever.

我怀孕3个月了I'mthreemonthspregnant.

别觉得尴尬,伙计们Notawkward,guys.

别尴尬除非我们让事情变的尴尬Notawkwardunlessweletitbeawkward.

这地方看起来不错kelly在这吗?

Thisplaceseemsgreat.Iskellyhere?

对,她就在这Yeah,she'saroundsomewhere.

呃,我们去找她吧我会介绍你们认识Uh,let'sgofindher.I'llintroduceyouguys.

然后我就得去V.I.P.房了ThenIshouldprobablyduckintotheV.I.P.Room.

这很蠢而且专制,不是吗?

It'ssostupidandarbitrary,isn'tit?

谁可以去V.I.P房谁不能?

WhogetstobeaV.I.Pandwhodoesn't?

我们能去吗?

Canwecome?

也不是那么专制It'snotthatarbitrary.

-哇,这地方真吵-你觉得吗?

Whoa,thisplaceisloud.Youthink?

好吧,是有点吵Ok,itisalittleloud

Kelly在那边!

ThereisKelly

你想去找个能讲话的地方吗?

Youwanttogosomewherewecantalk

好啊!

Totally!

……好吧……......Okay......

不觉得Ted没有邀我和他一起出去很奇怪吗?

thinkitwaskindofweirdthatteddidn'tinvitemeoutwithhim?

为什么?

你宁愿去某个夜总会充满噪音和汗臭味,还有……Why?

You'dratherbeoutatsomedanceclub,allnoisyandsweaty,withthe...

这就是你想要的吗?

isthatwhatyouwant?

这就是你想要的吗?

isthiswhatyouwant?

30年的低押借款……"30-yearfixedmortgage...

我怀孕3个月了I'mthreemonthspregnant."

这是该尴尬的时候了Thatwasawkward.

我们开始品酒吧!

Let'sstartdrinking!

别这么急要让红酒的单宁酸醇香Notsofast.Inorderforthetanninstomellow,

我们应该让它先“呼吸”30分钟weshouldletitbreatheforabout30minutes.

该死的单宁酸Freakingtannins.

那么,你怎么认识Robin的?

So,howdoyouknowRobin?

人马座!

Sagittarius

离威郡很近吗?

IsthatnearWestchester?

我很乐意来一杯!

Iwouldloveone!

一瓶啤酒就好了!

Justabeer!

你知道他们现在在干嘛吗?

doyouknowwhatthey'redoinginthererightnow?

他们在看Claire的超声波录象带They'rewatchingclaire'sultrasoundvideo.

我发誓,连婴儿自己都觉得无聊了AndIsweartogod,eventhebabylooksbored.

拜托,没那么糟糕Comeon,it'snotthatbad.

我们已经开始溶入这些人了We'rereallystartingtoclickwiththeseguys.

Claire和Austin刚刚还邀请我们去参加周六晚的奶酪火锅宴Claireandaustinjustinvitedustotheirfonduefestnextsaturdaynight.

你是真的想让我对奶酪火锅感到兴奋吗?

Areyouhonestlytryingtogetmeexcitedaboutfondue?

把食物浸在热奶酪里有什么不让人喜欢的?

It'sdippingstuffinhotcheese.What'snottolove?

好吧,听起来是不错Okay,thatdoessoundgood.

但是是与一群乏味的家伙把食物浸在热奶酪里Butit'sdippingstuffinhotcheesewithboringpeople.

Marshall,我们是时候成熟起来了Marshall,it'stimeforustogrowup.

Marshall知道她是对的Marshallknewshewasright.

他必须别再表现的象个小孩Hehadtostopactinglikeakid.

但不是今晚Butnottonight.

好吧,我们的公寓在3楼Now,ourapartmentwasonthethirdfloor,

所以不确定这部分是不是真的soI'mnotsureifthispartisactuallytrue,

但是Marshall叔叔发誓这是真正有发生的butunclemarshallswearsithappened.

记程车!

Taxi!

新专辑很棒平静优美thenewalbumisgreat.It'sallsmoothandpolished,

不象以前的那些音乐一样那么节奏很强了notdarkaheavyliketheearlystuff.

噢,是啊,NoraJones越来越棒了Oh,yeah,norajonesjustgetsbetterandbetter.

天那,告诉我现在能开始品酒了Please,tellmewecandrinkthewinenow.

再等5分钟,别弄糟单宁酸Fivemoreminutes.Don'twanttorushthosetannins.

该死的单宁酸Freakingtannins.

你真喜欢这地方吗?

Youreallylikethisplace?

你不知道我在说什么,是吗?

YouhavenoideawhatIamsaying,doyou?

我是从外星球来的!

Iamfromouterspace!

我因为上了一只海豚被赶出海底世界!

IgotthrownoutofSeaWorldforhumpingadolphin!

我尿裤子了!

Iamwettingmypants!

我就在那时候意识到Ithinkthat'swhenIrealized,

夜总会不是那么棒clubsweren'tawesome.

夜总会一点都不好Clubsweren'tevenokay.

夜总会太烂了Clubssucked.

我得离开这Ihadtogetoutofthere.

--嘿,Robin--嘿--Hey,robin.--Hey.

--你怎么不在里面?

--我在给那老板打电话--Whyaren'tyouinside?

--I'mcallingtheowner.

里面那家伙不让我进V.I.P.房There'saguyintherewhowon'tletmeintothestupidV.I.P.Room.

你在这干嘛?

Whatareyoudoinghere?

噢,我有这个心情所以就来这狂欢了Oh,Ihadthismove,soIcameheretobustit.

你能把我弄进去吗?

Canyougetmein?

好样的语音信箱Great.Voicemail.

--谢谢,一会见!

--拜!

--Thanks,I'llseeyou!

--Bye!

噢,天那,他才刚刚到这Oh,comeon,hejustgothere.

他肯定很有名He'sprobablyfamous.

噢,是啊Affleck有3兄弟吗?

Oh,yeah.Isn'tthereathirdaffleckbrother?

KeithAffleck还是BrianAffleck还是其他什么人?

Keithaffleckorbrianaffleckorsomething?

天啊,我们刚刚看见了BrianAffleckHolycrap,wejustsawbrianaffleck.

不是我有多在意能进V.I.P.房It'snotlikeIcaresomuchaboutgettingintheV.I.P.Room,

我已经去过无数个V.I.P.房IhavebeenintonsofV.I.P.Rooms.

我不是第一次进V.I.P.房I'mnotexactlyaV.I.P.Roomvirgin.

但是真的,回我电话Butseriously,callmeback.

噢,呃,我刚刚还在里面Oh,um,Iwasjustinthere,

RobinSherbotsky我在单子上robinsherbotsky.I'monthelist.

名字已经被划掉了抱歉Name'salreadycrossedoff.Sorry.

但是我是RobinSherbotskyButI'mrobinsherbotsky.

我是一台的记者I'mareporterforchannelone.