剧本.docx

剧本.docx

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剧本

Iwouldn'tdothatifIwereyou.

Ilikeyourspirit,butdomeafavorandstandback.

That'smybiscuit.

Thatwould'vebeenashortassignment.

-Whereyougoing?

-HQain'ttraininghowtheyusedto.

-Whoexactlyareyou?

-Name'sButch.

Whatdumbnamedidthebipedssaddleyouwith?

Spot?

Fifi?

Rover?

-Lou.

-Godforbid.

Oh.Lou.Sorry.

Isthatboyalwaysgrumpy?

Theyshouldswitchhisfood.

Humanscangetalittleemotional.

You'llgetusedtoit.Comeon.

Where'sthatcomingfrom?

-Cool.

-What?

It'sstandardequipment.

Vid-phone,researcharchive

database,ciphercharts,Snausages.

-Hey,what'sthis?

-Heel!

Thebigbutton.

Youdon'tjustpressthebigbutton.

00:

15:

02,485-->00:

15:

03,814

-Jeez.

-Sorry.

Justtrytorememberyourtraining.

Let'sstart.Here'stheskinny:

Yournewmaster'sascientist...

...workingonacure

fordogallergies.

It'sbig.Ifnoone'sallergic

todogs,we'llhavetheadvantage.

Thiswasyourpredecessor:

Agent1364,AKABuddy.

Hewascatnapped.Wasn'tontop

ofhisgame,sohehadtoretire.

HegotacondoinBoca.Luckydog.

You'retoreplacehimandkeep

thecatsawayfromtheformula.

Can'tletthemnearthat.

Now,comeon.

Allright,agent,let'smeettheteam.

"Agent"!

Whoa!

Kid,lookoverthere.

-That'sPeek.

-Peek?

Idon'tgetit.

Peek,showyourself.

Wegotacalicoonthecorner

ofCenterandMain....

Oh,myGod!

Peek'searlywarning.

00:

16:

13,389-->00:

16:

17,968

He'sgotitall.Radar,sonar,

thermo-imaging,odor-matrixing...

...todetectanon-residentialcat

fromthreeblocksaway.

-Peek,fallin.

-Rogerthat.

-Sam,what'syour20?

-1/18ofaklickeast.

I'mgoingtobacktrackusing

adeltaapproachinthree...

...two...one.

Hey,guys.

Oh,no,notagain.

Whereaml?

Overhere,Sam.

Requestpermission

topantheavily,sir.

Granted.

-Boys,IwantyoutomeetLou.

-Hey,Louie.

-Hey,Lou.

-Human!

He'stakingBuddy'splace

inthehotseat.

Beingfreshfromtheacademy,he's

currentonthenewtechniques,right?

Youknowthisone?

Igotyou!

Oh,Ijustmissedyou.

HolyChihuahua.

-Howdidthishappen?

-Heslippedthrough.

Youpromisedmeapro!

Igetapuppy!

He'sstillgothisyou-know-whats!

There'snotime.Hestays.

Endofdiscussion.Out.

Sotellme,oneofyou...

...isthedogoutoftheway?

Didthepuppyfallformyclevertrap?

Noneofyouhaveataletotell?

Alittlestoryforme,perhaps?

You!

Tellme,isthegameafoot?

Yes?

-Whyisthegameafoot?

-Imean,no.

Excellent.Sothepuppyisdead.

Nowwecanmoveonto--

Wait,wait.

-CanIchangemyanswer?

-Isthepuppyaliveornot?

Anotherdogtoldhimitwasabomb.

Anotherdog?

Anyway,Iamsurewe'llgetintothe

basementlabjustfine.Right,guys?

-Guys!

-Oh,yeah,absolutely.

-Absolutely.

-See?

ProjectDarkCloudwillgo

withoutahitch.

DarkCloud?

lsthatwhatI'mcallingmyplan?

No,you'recallingit....

-HowaboutStorm?

-Storm.

DarkStorm,yes.

Likeapowerful,darkstorm,Iwill

makemypresenceknowntotheworld.

Likeaseepingmist,Iwillcreep

intothedogs'centerofpower...

...andmakethemquakeinfear

attheverymentionofmyname!

Mr.Tinkles!

-Hide!

-Quickly!

-Whereareyou?

-Quickly!

Thereyouare,Mr.Tinkles.

I'vebeenlookingeverywhereforyou.

Wherehaveyoubeen?

Mr.Masonwillbesopleased

toseeyou.

I'lltakeyoutohim.

You'reastinkykitty.

Firstyouhavetohaveabath.

Mr.Tinkles,remember

towashbehindtheears!

IfI'mgoingtobeasecretagent,

Ishouldhaveabettername.

Iwasthinking"TotalAnnihilation."

He'saprowrestler.

Thatname'staken.

Then"DoomMachine"itis.

Youcallyourself

SquickytheSpaceDogforallIcare.

Thatdon'tmakeyourbehindarocket.

Youarenotanagent,

butyouaregoingtohelpus.

Sofirstthingsfirst.

Kid,payattention.

History101:

Wehavealwaysbeenman'sbest

friend.Evenyouknowthat.

Butcats,they'reanotherstory.

-StartwithancientEgypt.

-We'veseenthat5billiontimes.

Nevermind.Sorry.Heregoes.

AncientEgypt.

Seethesehieroglyphics?

Humansthinkitsays

ancientpeopleworshipedcats.

Butinreality,

theywereruledbythem.

AnevilcatnamedShen-Akh-Akumonmade

thembuildpyramids,monuments.

Hetreatedthemlikethey

werehislitterbox.

-Thingswereterrible.

-Thisisthebestpart.

Sothedogs,

beingman'sbestfriend,roseup.

Andputthemdown.

Withhumansbackontop,wetook

ournaturalplaceattheirside.

Thepeoplejustforgot?

Remember,they'reaprimitivespecies.

Can'tsenseearthquakes,smellfear.

Theycan'teventake

responsibilityfortheirownfarts.

Gross.

Guilty.

I'llgetthefence.

That'showouroutfitgotstarted.

Sometimesacatgetstoobig

forhiscoatandtriestotakeover.

Wemustkeepcatsfromthelab

tilltheformula'sdone.

Yes,sir!

-Anythingweird,callus.

-Yes,sir!

-Anyquestions?

-Justone,sir.

-Shoot.

-What'sancientEgypt?

Freeze,cat.

I'managent.

I'msofast,Ican'tseemyself.

AgentDoomMachine.Youseethat?

Watchout,cat.

Icouldn'tevenseeit.

There'sagoodpuppy.Hello!

Don'tgetscared.Don'tgetscared.

Lookhowgoodyou'rebeing.

Lookhowgood--

Where'sthat--?

There.Igotit.

Thiswon'thurtabit.

Let'ssee.Let'ssee.

Hey,that'sgood.

-Hey,Dad!

-Boils.

Wanttohelpmepractice?

Iforgotyourbow.

Yourprettybow.

WhenIruletheEarth,

youwillbethefirst...

...onmylist.

Keepthehairdo.It'sslimming.

-There'sroomonthatlistforyou.

-No,Imeanit.

Weonlyhaveafewdays.

Althoughplayingpetforthatoldman

upstairsiskeytomyscheme...

...Icannotstandthishumiliation

anylonger.AmIclear?

Nevermind.Thepuppywon'tsurvive

thenight.Sendintheninjas.

-Nervousaboutthetryoutstomorrow?

-No.

-It'sokaytobenervous.

-I'mnotnervous.

Istink,butI'mnotnervous.

Ishesayingthatbecause

heneedsmetoreassurehim?

Yes.Reassurehim.

You'rethemostwonderful,

bright,charming,good-looking...

...boyinthewholewideworld.

-Maybeyourdadcouldhelpyou.

-I'mprettysurehestinkstoo.

I'mgonnatalktohim.

-Timeforbed.TVoff.Fiveminutes.

-Seven.

-Six.

-Deal.

-Loveyou.

-Iloveyoutoo.

Well?

Handitover.

What?

!

Nogravy?

Nexttimerememberthegravy.

Dogsrule.

Goingsomeplace?

Now,let'ssee.

Ooh,yeah.1409MapleTerrace.

Igothim.

Totalcovertoperation.

GottobelikeaStealth.

Hey,Sam.

Onmymark.Three,two,one.

Banzai!

Dogsmustdie!

Lou,it'sPeek.

Areyouthere?

It'sPeek.

-Lou!

-What?

What?

Where?

I'mpickingupafaintsignal.Maybe

it'saglitch.Youbettercheckit.

Okay.I'llgolook.

Becareful,kid.

I'managent.

I'masecretagent.

I'maone-dogarmy.

Turnover.

Bugactivated.

Peek?

Hello?

Peek?

Seemsclear.

Probablyjustasquirrel.

I'llletButchknow.

Behindyou!

Sorry!

-WhatdoIdo?

-Bitethem.

What?

JustdoasIsay.

Left!

Rightpaw!

Again!

Rollover!

That'sagooddoggy.Pawsup!

Donkeykick!

Comeon,kid,givethemthehaymaker!

Ichangedmymind.

CallmetheClawofLingChow!

LingChowthis!

Cleanuponaisle7.

-Humans!

-Retreatwithhonor.

Ihaveabat.

Ihaveamitt,

andI'mnotafraidtouseit.

Baddog.

You'reluckyyou'resocute.

-DoomMachine.

-Hey,guys.

-You'restillalive.

-Yep.Allfivelimbs.

Youowemefivesmokedpigears.

You'restillstanding.Youokay?

Didyouseeme?

Right,leftandrightandleft--

Yougotcocky.

Youthinkthisisagame?

Thisisn'taboutcodenames,

boysorfriends.

It'saboutguardingthatlab.

Nothingelse.

Sam,Peek,sealthechimney.

-Right,boss.

-Yougotit,skip.

Cats.

Don'ttheyeverquit?

CanIshowyousomething?

TheBrodyshavethebestgarbage.

-Goon.Takeabite.

-Oh,my.

Thisiswhattheygettoeat?

Whatagyp.

I'mgladyoulikedit.

-IthoughtIwasastraytoolong.

-Stray?

Cool.

-I'venevermetastray.

-Iprefer"domesticallychallenged."

MissChallenged,sorry,

butyougottaleave.

-Myordersareclear.Ican't--

-Orders?

-That'sright.I'masecretagent.

-Anagent?

You'resmallforanagent.

Shouldn'tyoubehavingfun?

Idon'thavetime.

Toughguy.

Stopwiththeagentstuff.Okay?

Youhaveyourownkidtoplaywith.

Don'ttakeitforgranted.

Whereyougoing?

Couldyoudothatagain?

Nexttimehetalkstoyou,

tiltyourheadandperkyourears.

You'llseewhatI'mtalkingabout.

Anddomeafavor.

TellButchlvy'sbackintown.

Whatareyoulookingat?

Well,Iguessyou'rekindofcute.

Lookwhoitis.Igotyou.

LastnightyourmotherandI

hadaconversation...

...thatmademethinkthatmaybe...

..youandIshouldtalk...

...aboutyouandme

andmybigproject.

Youwanttositdown?

Oh,yeah.Sure,sure.

Yourmommademethinkthat....

Well,I'mcomingtoyour

soccertryoutthisafternoon.

Youdon'thaveto.

But....

-HereIcome.

-Really?

-Oh,good.Cool.Cool.

-Cool.

Youdon'twanttobelateforschool.

Yeah,Iam.

-Seeyou,Dad.

-Seeyou.

Go,go,go!

I'llbecheeringforyou!

Ourteamisred-hot

Yourteamain'tdoodly-squat

Istunk.Worsethanstunk.

Scotty?

Haveyouseen

thislittle--Tryouts!

Wow.Hereallydoesstink.

Guessitdidn'tgosowell,huh?

Whatdidthecoachsay?

Hesaidtryoutsfor

thegirls'teamareonMonday.

Whataboutyourfather?

-Soccer.

-I'minthemiddle--

-Soccer.

-No,thankyou.Imustget--

Soccer.

-Iforgot.Ihadabreakthrough--

-Iknowyou'rebusy....

Heisyourson.

Iwasinthemiddle--

Ihadabreakthrough.

Iknow.Iknow.I'msorry.

Goodboy.

-Abeautifulsight.

-Yousaidwewouldn'ttalkagain.

-NowIhaveareason.

-Sparemethelecture.

He'sapuppy.Hedoesn't

knowwhathe'sgettinginto.

Forgivemefor