Goldsmiths Friend Abroad Again.docx

Goldsmiths Friend Abroad Again.docx

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GoldsmithsFriendAbroadAgain

GoldsmithsFriendAbroadAgainbyMarkTwainNOTE.--Noexperienceissetdowninthefollowingletterswhichhadtobeinvented.FancyisnotneededtogivevarietytothehistoryofaChinaman'ssojourninAmerica.Plainfactisamplysufficient.

LETTERI

SHANGHAI,18-.

DEARCHING-FOO:

Itisallsettled,andIamtoleavemyoppressedandoverburdenednativelandandcrosstheseatothatnoblerealmwhereallarefreeandallequal,andnonereviledorabused--America!

America,whosepreciousprivilegeitistocallherselftheLandoftheFreeandtheHomeoftheBrave.Weandallthatareaboutusherelookoverthewaveslongingly,contrastingtheprivationsofthisourbirthplacewiththeopulentcomfortofthathappyrefuge.WeknowhowAmericahaswelcomedtheGermansandtheFrenchmenandthestrickenandsorrowingIrish,andweknowhowshehasgiventhembreadandwork,andliberty,andhowgratefultheyare.AndweknowthatAmericastandsreadytowelcomeallotheroppressedpeoplesandofferherabundancetoallthatcome,withoutaskingwhattheirnationalityis,ortheircreedorcolor.

And,withoutbeingtoldit,weknowthatthe,foreignsufferersshehasrescuedfromoppressionandstarvationarethemosteagerofherchildrentowelcomeus,because,havingsufferedthemselves,theyknowwhatsufferingis,andhavingbeengenerouslysuccored,theylongtobegeneroustootherunfortunatesandthusshowthatmagnanimityisnotwasteduponthem.

AHSONGHI.

LETTERII

ATSEA,18--.

DEARCHING-FOO:

Wearefarawayatseanow;onourwaytothebeautifulLandoftheFreeandHomeoftheBrave.Weshallsoonbewhereallmenarealike,andwheresorrowisnotknown.

ThegoodAmericanwhohiredmetogotohiscountryistopayme$12amonth,whichisimmensewages,youknow--twentytimesasmuchasonegetsinChina.Mypassageintheshipisaverylargesum--indeed,itisafortune--andthisImustpaymyselfeventually,butIamallowedampletimetomakeitgoodtomyemployerin,headvancingitnow.Foramereform,Ihaveturnedovermywife,myboy,andmytwodaughterstomyemployer'spartnerforsecurityforthepaymentoftheshipfare.Butmyemployersaystheyareinnodangerofbeingsold,forheknowsIwillbefaithfultohim,andthatisthemainsecurity.

IthoughtIwouldhavetwelvedollarsto,beginlifewithinAmerica,buttheAmericanConsultooktwoofthemformakingacertificatethatIwasshippedonthesteamer.Hehasnorighttodomorethanchargetheshiptwodollarsforonecertificatefortheship,withthenumberofherChinesepassengerssetdowninit;buthechoosestoforceacertificateuponeachandeveryChinamanandputthetwodollarsinhispocket.As1,300ofmycountrymenareinthisvessel,theConsulreceived$2,600forcertificates.MyemployertellsmethattheGovernmentatWashingtonknowofthisfraud,andaresobitterlyopposedtotheexistenceofsuchawrongthattheytriedhardtohavetheextor--thefee,Imean,legalisedbythelastCongress;--[PacificandMediterraneansteamshipbills.（Ed.Mem.）]--butasthebilldidnotpass,theConsulwillhavetotakethefeedishonestlyuntilnextCongressmakesitlegitimate.Itisagreatandgoodandnoblecountry,andhatesallformsofviceandchicanery.

Weareinthatpartofthevesselalwaysreservedformycountrymen.

Itiscalledthesteerage.Itiskeptforus,myemployersays,becauseitisnotsubjecttochangesoftemperatureanddangerousdraftsofair.

ItisonlyanotherinstanceofthelovingunselfishnessoftheAmericansforallunfortunateforeigners.Thesteerageisalittlecrowded,andratherwarmandclose,butnodoubtitisbestforusthatitshouldbeso.

Yesterdayourpeoplegottoquarrellingamongthemselves,andthecaptainturnedavolumeofhotsteamuponamassofthemandscaldedeightyorninetyofthemmoreorlessseverely.Flakesandribbonsofskincameoffsomeofthem.Therewaswildshriekingandstrugglingwhilethevapourenvelopedthegreatthrong,andsosomewhowerenotscaldedgottrampleduponandhurt.Wedonotcomplain,formyemployersaysthisistheusualwayofquietingdisturbancesonboardtheship,andthatitisdoneinthecabinsamongtheAmericanseverydayortwo.

Congratulateme,Ching-FoolIntendaysmoreIshallstepupontheshoreofAmerica,andbereceivedbyhergreat-heartedpeople;andIshallstraightenmyselfupandfeelthatIamafreemanamongfreemen.

AHSONGHI.

LETTERIII

SANFRANCISCO,18-.

DEARCHING-FOO:

Isteppedashorejubilant!

Iwantedtodance,shout,sing,worshipthegenerousLandoftheFreeandHomeoftheBrave.ButasIwalkedfromthegangplankamaninagrayuniform--[Policeman]--

kickedmeviolentlybehindandtoldmetolookout--somyemployertranslatedit.AsIturned,anotherofficerofthesamekindstruckmewithashortclubandalsoinstructedmetolookout.IwasabouttotakeholdofmyendofthepolewhichhadmineandHong-Wo'sbasketandthingssuspendedfromit,whenathirdofficerhitmewithhisclubtosignifythatIwastodropit,andthenkickedmetosignifythathewassatisfiedwithmypromptness.Anotherpersoncamenow,andsearchedallthroughourbasketandbundles,emptyingeverythingoutonthedirtywharf.Thenthispersonandanothersearchedusallover.TheyfoundalittlepackageofopiumsewedintotheartificialpartofHong-Wo'squeue,andtheytookthat,andalsotheymadehimprisonerandhandedhimovertoanofficer,whomarchedhimaway.Theytookhisluggage,too,becauseofhiscrime,andasourluggagewassomixedtogetherthattheycouldnottellminefromhis,theytookitall.WhenIofferedtohelpdivideit,theykickedmeanddesiredmetolookout.

Havingnownobaggageandnocompanion,Itoldmyemployerthatifhewaswilling,Iwouldwalkaboutalittleandseethecityandthepeopleuntilheneededme.Ididnotliketoseemdisappointedwithmyreceptioninthegoodlandofrefugefortheoppressed,andsoIlookedandspokeascheerilyasIcould.Buthesaid,waitaminute--Imustbevaccinatedtopreventmytakingthesmall-pox.IsmiledandsaidIhadalreadyhadthesmall-pox,ashecouldseebythemarks,andsoIneednotwaittobe"vaccinated,"ashecalledit.Buthesaiditwasthelaw,andImustbevaccinatedanyhow.Thedoctorwouldneverletmepass,forthelawobligedhimtovaccinateallChinamenandchargethemtendollarsapieceforit,andImightbesurethatnodoctorwhowouldbetheservantofthatlawwouldletafeeslipthroughhisfingerstoaccommodateanyabsurdfoolwhohadseenfittohavethediseaseinsomeothercountry.Andpresentlythedoctorcameanddidhisworkandtookmylastpenny--mytendollarswhichwerethehardsavingsofnearlyayearandahalfoflabourandprivation.Ah,ifthelaw-makershadonlyknowntherewereplentyofdoctorsinthecitygladofachancetovaccinatepeopleforadollarortwo,theywouldneverhaveputthepriceupsohighagainstapoorfriendlessIrish,orItalian,orChinesepauperfleeingtothegoodlandtoescapehungerandhardtimes.

AHSONGHI.

LETTERIV

SANFRANCISCO,18--.

DEARCHING-FOO:

Ihavebeenhereaboutamonthnow,andamlearningalittleofthelanguageeveryday.Myemployerwasdisappointedinthematterofhiringusouttoservicetotheplantationsinthefareasternportionofthiscontinent.Hisenterprisewasafailure,andsohesetusallfree,merelytakingmeasurestosecuretohimselftherepaymentofthepassagemoneywhichhepaidforus.Wearetomakethisgoodtohimoutofthefirstmoneysweearnhere.Hesaysitissixtydollarsapiece.

Wewerethussetfreeabouttwoweeksafterwereachedhere.Wehadbeenmassedtogetherinsomesmallhousesuptothattime,waiting.Iwalkedforthtoseekmyfortune.Iwastobeginlifeastrangerinastrangeland,withoutafriend,orapenny,oranyclothesbutthoseIhadonmyback.Ihadnotanyadvantageonmysideintheworld--notone,exceptgoodhealthandthelackofanynecessitytowasteanytimeoranxietyonthewatchingofmybaggage.No,Iforget.IreflectedthatIhadoneprodigiousadvantageoverpaupersinotherlands--IwasinAmerica!

I

wasintheheaven-providedrefugeoftheoppressedandtheforsaken!

Justasthatcomfortingthoughtpassedthroughmymind,someyoungmensetafiercedogonme.Itriedtodefendmyself,butcoulddonothing.

Iretreatedtotherecessofacloseddoorway,andtherethedoghadmeathismercy,flyingatmythroatandfaceoranypartofmybodythatpresenteditself.Ishriekedforhelp,buttheyoungmenonlyjeeredandlaughed.Twomeningrayuniforms（policemenistheirofficialtitle）

lookedonforaminuteandthenwalkedleisurelyaway.Butamanstoppedthemandbroughtthembackandtoldthemitwasashametoleavemeinsuchdistress.Thenthetwopolicemenbeatoffthedogwithsmallclubs,andacomfortitwastoberidofhim,thoughIwasjustragsandbloodfromheadtofoot.Themanwhobroughtthepolicemenaskedtheyoungmenwhytheyabusedmeinthatway,andtheysaidtheydidn'twantanyofhismeddling.Andtheysaidtohim:

"ThisChingdivilcomestillAmerikytotakethebreadouto'dacentintilligentwhitemen'smouths,andwhirtheytrytodefindtheirrightsthere'sadaleo'fussmadeaboutit."

Theybegantothreatenmybenefactor,andashesawnofriendlinessinthefacesthathadgatheredmeanwhile,hewentonhisway.Hegotmanyacursewhenhewasgone.ThepolicemennowtoldmeIwasunderarrestandmustgowiththem.IaskedoneofthemwhatwrongIhaddonetoanyonethatIshouldbearrested,andheonlystruckmewithhisclubandorderedmeto"holdmyyap."Withajeeringcrowdofstreetboysandloa