Desperate Housewives 2x12 Were Gonna Be All Right.docx

Desperate Housewives 2x12 Were Gonna Be All Right.docx

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DesperateHousewives2x12WereGonnaBeAllRight

DesperateHousewives

Episode2x12"We'reGonnaBeAllRight"

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MaryAliceVoiceover:

PreviouslyonDesperateHousewives

Noah:

I'mgonnadie,andI'dliketoknowwhathappenedtomydaughterbeforeIdo.

MaryAliceVoiceover:

Whenitcomestowisterialane,thereareoldcrimes...newcrimes...

Betty:

Assoonasitgetsdark,wegetridofthatbody.

MaryAliceVoiceover:

...andcrimesthatarehappening...rightundereveryone'snose.

Edie:

I'mthinkingit'stheApplewhites.

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[RestaurantBar]

（Jimissittingatthebarhavingadrink.）

MaryAliceVoiceover:

JimHalversonwasawarethathehadlittletoofferawoman.Hewasneitherrich,norsmart,norhandsome.

（SusantapsJimontheshoulder.）

Susan:

AreyouJim?

I'mSusanMayer.

Jim:

Oh!

MaryAliceVoiceover:

Sowhenhisfriendsethimuponablinddatewithabeautifulstranger...

Jim:

Wow,you'resomuchhotterthanNikkisaidyou'dbe.Howoldareyou?

Susan:

HowolddoyouthinkIam?

MaryAliceVoiceover:

Jimmadethetragicdecisiontotrytobefunny.

Jim:

Notadayover50.

Susan:

Whydon'twegetourtable?

（AsSusanwalksintotherestaurant,Jimtriestoexplainhishumor.）

Jim:

Well,no,see,thatwasfunny,becauseyou'resoobviouslynot50.That'swhyIsaid50,'causeit'sabsurd.

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[Restaurant-Interior]

MaryAliceVoiceover:

JimdideverythinghecouldtogetSusanMayertolaugh.Hetriedracialhumor...

Jim:

SoguesswhattimeChinesepeoplegotothedentist?

2:

30.uh,getit?

"Tooth-hurty?

"Tooth-hurty.

（Jimlaughs,Susannodspolitely.）

Jim:

Ilovethat.

MaryAliceVoiceover:

Hetriedtobeengaginglyrisqué

Jim:

Rectum?

Damnnearkilledhim!

（Susanstaresathim.）

Jim:

Youknowwhatarectumis,right?

（Susanchokingonherfood,nods.）

MaryAliceVoiceover:

Heeventriedgentleteasing.

Jim:

No,no,yousee,bycomparingyoutoaNazi,Iwasmakingthepointthatyou'resonotaNazi.You'relikethe--

（Whileexplaining,Jimknocksoverhisnapkin.）

MaryAliceVoiceover:

AndjustwhenJimthoughtthedatecouldn'tgetanyworse.......

（SusanandJimreachdowntothefloorandbangheads.）

Susan:

Oh!

Oww!

Oh!

MaryAliceVoiceover:

Itdid.

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[HospitalEmergencyRoom]

（AdoctorisexaminingJim,flashingalightinhiseyes.）

Dr.Mccready:

Okay,Jim,Ineedyoutolookup...anddown.Allright,so,howdidthishappen?

Susan:

Itwasanaccident.

Jim:

Oh,Idon'tknowaboutthat.Insomecultureshead-buttingisamatingritual.

Susan:

Dr.Mccready,canItalktoyouaboutmyhead?

Awayfrom...thedraft?

Dr.Mccready:

YoucancallmeDr.Ron.Everyonedoes.

（Theymovetothecorneroftheroom.）

Susan:

Dr.Ron...Ineedyoutopretendthere'ssomethingwrongwithmeandadmitmeforthenight.

Dr.Ron:

I'msorry?

Susan:

ThisistheworstdateIhaveeverbeenoninmylife.

（TheyglanceoveratJimwhohasinflatedagloveandis"milking"itwhiletellingthenurseajoke.）

Susan:

Thatmanisthemostobnoxious,offensive,annoyinghumanbeing.Andyou'relookingatmelikeI'mcrazyrightnow,butIwillbeifIspendonemoresecondwithhim.Soyougottahelpme.Yougottadosomething.

（Shegrabshislapels.）

Susan:

It'smymentalhealth.Mymentalhealth!

Youtookanoath.

Dr.Ron:

Couldyouletgoofmylapel,please?

Susan:

Oh,sorry.

Dr.Ron:

Um,listen,I'msorryyourdate'snotgoingwell.ButIcan'tadmityou,Susan.

Susan:

Right.Right.

（Dr.RonwalksbacktoJim.）

Dr.Ron:

Jim,let's,uh,let'stakealookatthosereflexes.

Jim:

Okay,Igotajokeforyou,doctor.What'sthecorrectmedicaltermforthecircumcisionofarabbit?

Harecut.

Dr.Ron:

Idon't--Ialways--Jim,I'mgonnaneedtokeepyouhereforawhile,runsometests.

Jim:

Really?

I--

Dr.Ron:

Yeah,I'mstillworriedaboutthatbumponyourheadhere.

（Dr.RonpressesthebumponJim'sheadasSusansmiles.）

Jim:

Oh.Ow!

That'sstill...

Dr.Ron:

And,Susan,you'regoodtogo.

MaryAliceVoiceover:

Andthoughitonlylastedamoment,Jimcaughtthelookthatpassedbetweenhisdate...andhisdoctor.

（Dr.RonlooksatSusan.Susansmiles.Dr.Ronwinks.）

Susan:

Thankyousomuch,Dr.Ron.

（JimlooksoninshockasSusanleaves.）

MaryAliceVoiceover:

Andhesuddenlygotthefeelingthejokewasonhim.

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OpeningCredits

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[WisteriaLane-Daytime]

（Abannerhangs,indicatingtheWisteriaLaneBloodDrive.）

MaryAliceVoiceover:

TheannualblooddrivewasatraditiononWisteriaLane.Mostresidentscametohelppromotehealthandwell-being.

（Zachwalksthroughacrowdedpark.Everyoneisfillingoutforms.Susan,Bree,Gabrielle,Edie,andLynettearesittingonthebenchfillingoutformsaswell.）

MaryAliceVoiceover:

Butmyfriendsturnedupforadifferentreason.Theyweregrowingincreasinglyconcernedthattheirstreetwasinfectedwithadangerouskindofsickness.Andtheycametoconsultwithoneanotheraboutapossiblecure.

（SusaniswatchingMatthewandBettyApplewhite.Theyseeherandwave.）

Susan:

Great,shecaughtmestaring.

Gabrielle:

HaveyouguysnoticedhowfriendlyBetty'sbeensincethatbodywasfoundinfrontofherhouse?

Edie:

Idon'ttrustfriendlywomen.

Lynette:

That'sokay.Theydon'ttrustyou,either.

Susan:

Ijustknowthosetwohavesomethingtodowiththatdeadbody.

Bree:

Doweevenknowwhoheis?

Susan:

Well,thepapersaidthepolicearewithholdingthedetails.

Gabrielle:

Bree,maybeyoushouldcallinafavorfromyourpolicedetectivepal,havehimpokearound.

Susan:

That'sagreatidea.YoucouldhavehimdoabackgroundcheckontheApplewhites.

Bree:

Idon'tthinkIcandothat.

Susan:

Whynot?

Yousaidhewasnice.

Bree:

Well,oncehestoppedsuspectingmeofmurderingRexhewasdelightful,but,um...Idon'treallyknowhim.

Susan:

Well,somebodyhastodosomething,'causeI'mlosingsleep.

（BettyandMatthewapproach.）

Gabrielle:

Betty!

Matthew.

Betty:

Hello,everybody.Susan,alittlebirdietoldmeyou'rehavingabirthdaysoon.Weshouldallgooutandcelebrate.

Susan:

Super.

Lynette:

Soundslikeaplan.

Gabrielle:

Countmein.

（AsBettyandMatthewwalkaway,Breewaves.）

Bree:

Bye.

Lynette:

Seeya.

（BettyandMatthewtalkquietlytoeachother.）

Matthew:

Sowhyareyoueverybody'sbestfriendallofasudden?

Betty:

Iftherewaseveratimetobeneighborly,thisisit.

Matthew:

We'reidiotsforstayinghere.Imean,weshould'vehittheroadassoonastheyfoundMonroe'sbody.Imean,howdoweknowhedidn'ttellFosterwherewe'rehiding?

Betty:

Becauseifhehad,Fosterwould'veshownupbynow.Andbesides,ifwetakeoff,whatarewegonnaliveon?

Ihaveallofourmoneytiedupinthishouse.

Matthew:

Sowhynotjustsellit?

Betty:

Patience,Matthew.Ifwetakeoffrightaway,it'lllooksuspicious.Nowwhatweneedisastory--areasonforustomove.

（Zachapproachesthenurse'stableinthepark,handingheraclipboard.）

Nurse:

Lookatthis,a-bnegative.

Zach:

Yeah,it'stherarestofallbloodtypes.

Nurse:

Well,theremustbesomethinginthewateraroundtheseparts.You'remyseconda-bnegativetoday.

Zach:

Seriously?

Uh,whowasit?

Nurse:

Thatguy.

（ThenurselooksaroundandpointsatMike,who'swalkingaway.Zachstaresathim.）

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[OutsideBree'sHouse]

（Breeisremovingsnailsfromherflowers.Bettyapproaches.）

Betty:

Hi,Bree.

Bree:

Oh,hi.

Betty:

Ijustwantedtothankyouforyouradviceonmyazaleas.They'rejustthriving.

Bree:

Oh,itwasnotroubleatall.

Betty:

SuchashameImaynotbearoundtoenjoythem.Well,mymotherhastakenill.AndMatthewandI,we'llprobablygoandvisither.Wemayevenbemoving.Wejustdon'tknowyet.

Bree:

Oh,well,wheredoesshelive?

Betty:

Oh,backinChicago.

Bree:

Isitserious?

Betty:

I-Idon'tknowyet.Well,obviously,I'llbespeakingwithherdoctor.

Bree:

Oh,Betty,ifthere'sanythingIcando,anythingatall...

Betty:

Thankyou.You'vealreadydonesomuch.Bye.

（Bettywalksaway.）

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[Susan'sHouse]

（SusanremovestheblooddrivetapefromherarmasJuliewalksin.）

Julie:

ThatDr.Roncalled.Heneedstoseeyouforafollow-upappointment.

Susan:

Heneedstoseemeorhewantstoseeme?

Julie:

Jeez,mom,howcuteisthisguy?

Susan:

Oh,hecouldbecuter...butIdon'tknowhow.

Julie:

Soaskhimout.

Susan:

Oh,no,Ican'tdothat.

Julie:

Mom,he'sacutesurgeon.What'stheproblem?

Susan:

He'syoung.

Julie:

Young?

Susan:

Youngerthanme.

Julie:

Howmuchyounger?

Susan:

Let'sjustsayifIwasaseniorinhighschool,I'dbesaying,"wow,you'reahotfifthgrader."

Julie:

Oh,well,ofcourseit'sgonnasoundgrossifyousayitthatway.Butyou'rebothadults.Sowhynotjustaskhimout?

Susan:

'Causetheconversationcouldgosomethinglikethis,"Dr.Ron,Ithinkyou'rehot.""Oh,well,thankyou,ma'am."NowIthinkit'stimewetalkaboutyourhipreplacement."

Julie:

Mom,you'rehotandfunnyandnice.And...clearlydesperate,andguysareintothat.Playtoyourstrengths.

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[OutsideLynette'sHouse]

（Lynettedrivesintoherdriveway.Tomrunsouttomeether.）

Tom:

Thankgodyou'rehome.

Lynette:

What'swrong?

Patsaidyoutoldheritwasanemergency!

Tom:

Theboysweresenthomefromschool.

Lynette:

What?

Why?

Icalled.Themachinekeptpickingup.

Tom:

Iknow.Iknow.Look,I...they'vegotchickenpox.

Lynette:

Chickenpox?

Tha