SOUTH PARK1102.docx

SOUTH PARK1102.docx

《SOUTH PARK1102.docx》由会员分享，可在线阅读，更多相关《SOUTH PARK1102.docx（33页珍藏版）》请在冰豆网上搜索。

SOUTHPARK1102

SOUTHPARK

11X02-CRATMANSUCKS

OriginalAirdate（COM）:

14-MAR-2007

WRITTENBYMATTSTONE&TREYPARKER

DIRECTEDBYMATTSTONE&TREYPARKER

TRANSCRIPTPROVIDEDBY"TWIZTV.COM-FREETVSCRIPTSDATABASE"

ORIGINALLYTRANSCRIBEDFORTHESOUTHPARKSCRIPTORIUM

==========================

DISCLAIMER:

==========================

"SOUTHPARK"andotherrelatedentitiesareowned,（TM）and?

byTREYPARKER&MATTSTONEviaCOMEDYCENTRALandCOMEDYPARTNERSinassociationwithIMPORTANTTELEVISION.Thistranscriptispostedherewithouttheirpermission,approval,authorizationorendorsement.Anyreproduction,duplication,distributionordisplayofthismaterialinanyformorbyanymeansisexpresslyprohibited.Itisabsolutelyforbiddentouseitforcommercialgain.Forentertainmentandeducationalpurposesonly.Noinfringementintended.

==========================

SUMMARY:

==========================

Butters'daddoeswhatanygoodfatherwoulddoifhebelievedhissonwasbi-curious.WhenanotheroneofCartman'spracticaljokesputsButtersinacompromisingposition,hisdadisdeterminedto"straightenhimout."WhileButtersisataspecialcamptryingto"praythegayaway,"Cartmanrealizesthejokeisonhim.

==========================

TRANSCRIPT:

==========================

[AscrapbookshotofButterssleeping,withapoomustacheonhisface.]

Cartman:

ThispictureIliketocall"ThePierre."IinvitedButterstostaythenight,andwhilehewassleepingImadeamustacheonhisfacewithcatpoo.Hahahahaha.[thecaptionreads"THEPIERRE3/10/07."Cartmanflipsthepage.Thepagesareartsyindesign]Andthistime,whenButtersstayedthenight,Iputatamponinhismouth.[Yep,thetamponisintherelikeathermometer]Icallthispicture"TheSleepingMenstrual"[thecaptionisshown,Cartmanflipsthepage.Kyle,Stan,andKennystandaroundhim,lookingatthepictures.They'reallinCartman'sroom.]Thisone,Icall"HotFudgeMondae."[caressesthepicture]Ireallylikehowthelightplayswiththebackgroundonthisone.

Kyle:

Isthisaalllyoubroughtusheretosee?

Cartman:

Ohno,there'smuchmore.[flipsthepage]Let'ssee-Ohyes,lookatthisone:

Icallit"NewMoonRising."[ashotofCartmanhanginghisassoverButters'face]Ididawholestudyusingmyass.[Cartman'sassoverButter'sfacefromtheleftside]Hereitisusingsomehigh-contraststuff.[next,Cartmanwearingdarkerpajamas,mooningButters]tryingoutsome...differentlightfiltershere.[lastshotlooksfaded,withCartman'sassdirectlyonButters'face.]ButthisisnothingcomparedtowhatIhaveplanned.Becausetonight...isgoingtobemycoopdegrass.

Kyle:

Buttersisstayingovertonight?

Cartman:

Yes.Andtonight,whileButtersisasleep,Iamgoingto-

Butters:

[appearsatCartman'sbedroomdoor]Hey,fellas!

[StanandKennyturnaround.Kylelooksoverhisleftshoulder]

Cartman:

Heh!

[quicklyputsawayhisscrapbook]Oh,ohhey,Butters!

[turnsaroundandgreetshim]Iwasn'texpectingyousosoon.

Butters:

Yeah.[putsdownhissleepingbag]IfinishedmychoressoIcameoveralittleearly.[Cartmantakesthesleepingbagandsetsitaisde.Buttersnoticestheotherguys]Hey!

Areyouguysallsleepin'overtoo?

Cartman:

[returns]Nono,theseguyswerejustleaving.[facestheotherguysmenacingly]weren'tyouguys?

Stan:

Comeon,let'sgo.[leadsKyleandKennyoutthedoor.]

Kyle:

[stops]Wait,wai-Ican'tletthishappen.[turnsaround]Butters.

Butters:

YeahKyle?

Kyle:

Don'tyouthinkit'salittlestrangethatCartmankeepsaskingyoutostayover?

Cartman:

Kyyyle!

Butters:

Uhwahtdoyoumean?

Kyle:

Imean,thatif-

Cartman:

Whathemeansisthathe'sjealousthatyou'vetakenhisplaceasmynewbestfriend!

Butgrowup,Kyle!

Changeisapartoflife.

Butters:

Hehyeah,growup,Kyle.

Kyle:

[angered]Hrrugh!

[leaves]

Butters:

Sowhatdoyouwannadofirst,Eric?

Youwannaplayagameorjustchitchatforawhile?

Cartman:

Wellactually,Butters,Ithinkwe'dbetterhitthehayprettysoon.

Butters:

But,uh-ih-it'sonly6:

30.

Cartman:

Yeah,andI'mexhausted.Ifyouarenotsleepyyet,Ihavesomemoreofthatnighttimecoldmedicineyoucandrink.

[SouthPark,morning.Theboyswalkuptothebusstop.Cartmanisn'twiththem.]

Cartman:

[offscreen]Youguys!

Igotit!

[runsinandjoinsthem]Itseriously!

It'sthegreatestpictureever!

OhmyGod!

Stan:

What'chadotoButtersthistime?

Cartman:

Ihitwasgenius!

Iwaited'tilhewastotallyasleep,right?

AndthenIgotmycamera,andIpulleddownhispants,andthenItookapictureofhiswienerinmymouth!

[cracksupathisowncleverness]

Kyle:

Dude!

Cartman:

IknowIknow,checkitout,look.[theotherthreecrowdinandlookatthepicture]Igothiswholewienerinmymouth,see?

Heheh.Ohman,Igothimgood!

Stan:

Dude,howisputtingButters'wienerinhismouthgettinghim?

Cartman:

BecausethatmakesButtersgaynow!

Kyle:

Nodude,thatmakesyougay!

Cartman:

Eh-...what?

Kyle:

Youputaguy'swienerinyourmouth,thatmakesyougay,stupid!

Cartman:

[looksmorecloselyatthepicture]Nuhuh.

Kyle:

Yeahhuh!

Cartman:

Kenny,thatdoesn'tmakemegay,huh?

Kenny:

（Ehe,thatmakesyouveryfuckinggay.）

Cartman:

ButI'mnotg-I'mnotgay,youguys!

Stan:

Youarenow.

Cartman:

No,no,itwasastupidmistake!

Kyle:

Doesn'tmatter.You'regaynow.

Cartman:

No,itwasjustforasecond!

[seeingthathisplanhasbackfired,heputsthepictureaway]What,whatcanIdo?

HowhowcanIreversethis?

Stan:

Youcan't!

Kyle:

Nonowait.IIknowhowyoucanreverseit,Cartman.

Cartman:

How?

Kyle:

TheonlywayyoucancancelitoutistogetButterstoputyourwienerinhismouth.

Cartman:

[lowvoice]Really?

Kyle:

Yeah.Thenitcancelsoutthegaypolarity.

Cartman:

[beat]...Shit,IgottafindButters!

[runsoff]

Kyle:

[beat]...Idiot.

[Butters'bedroom,severalminuteslater.Buttersisplayingwithhistoys-acar,atruck,andasmallactionfigure.]

Butters:

Helpme,IthinkingI'mfallinginlovewithyou...[continueshowlingthetune]

Cartman:

[enterstheroom]Butters.

Butters:

[stopsplayingandgetsup]Whoa,heyEric.

Cartman:

Butters,guesswhat?

Ihaveasurpriseforyou.

Butters:

[alittleexcited]Asurprise?

Whatisit?

Cartman:

It'ssofuckin'awesome.You'regonnabesoostoked.It'sthebestsurpriseever!

Butters:

[reallyexcited]Ohboy!

Cartman:

Youready?

Butters:

Y-yeah!

Cartman:

Okay!

Justopenyourmouthandcloseyoureyesand,andgetonyourknees!

Butters:

[closeshiseyes,openshismouth,andgetsonhisknees]Oh,okay!

[Cartmangrabsabandanafromhisbackpocketandmakesablindfoldfromit,thenputsitonButters]

Cartman:

Hangonasecondhere.[makessuretheblindfoldisonsnugly]

Butters:

Howcomeuh,Ican'tsee?

Cartman:

'Causethenitwouldn'tbeasurprise,wouldit?

[rushesofftogetthetoybox]

Butters:

Ohuh,hoyeah.

Cartman:

[underhisbreath]Allright,that'sgood.[undoeshispants]Okay,openyourmouth,Butters?

[lowersthemand...]That'sgood,justlikethat.

Butters:

[waryallofasudden]Hey.Heywaitaminute.Thisain'tatrick,isit?

Whyyou'renotgonna,ehsticksomethingyickyinmymouth,areya?

Cartman:

...Iswearonmymother'slife,Butters.Iamnotgoingtostickanythingyickyinyourmouth.[liftsuphisshirttoshowhismassivegut]

Butters:

Wokay!

Cartman:

Allright,youready?

[grabsButters'headanddrawsitclosertohisownwiener]Allrightjust-okay,openuh-okay,okay,hereitcomes.Justsitverystill,okay?

Herewego.[atthatmomentthedooropensandStevenenters.]

Steven:

BUTTERS!

Cartman:

Uh!

[quicklygetsdressedup]

Butters:

Whoa!

HeyDad!

[Cartmanstepsdownfromthetoyboxandrunsaway]

Steven:

Butters!

Whatareyoudoing?

!

Butters:

I'mgettingasurprise!

[pointstohismouth]

Steven:

OhmyGod!

My,myonlyson,reducedtothis!

[takesofftheblindfold]

Butters:

[looksaround]Hey.Where'dEricgo?

Steven:

[quiteconcerned,onbendedknee]Butters,howlonghaveyoubeendoingstufflikethis?

Butters:

Likewhat?

Steven:

Don'tlietome,Butters!

Iknowyoursecretnow!

Nowait,wait.It'sokay.It'sokay,Butters.Thisisn'taseriousproblem.You'rejustbi-curious.

Butters:

What's...bi-curious?

Steven:

Youare.Justharmlesscuriosity,anditdoesn'tmeananything.Wejustneedtogetyousomehelp,Butters.[Lindaappearsatthedoorway]

Linda:

What'sgoingon,youtwo?

Butters:

Nothin'Mom,I'mjustalittlebicurious.[smiles]

[SouthParkChurch,day.ButtersandStevenareintherectory.]

Steven:

FatherMaxi,I...justdon'tknowwhereelsetoturn.Yousee,I'vejustlearnedthatmysonis...bicurious.

FatherMaxi:

Isthattrue,son?

Areyoufeeling...confused?

Butters:

...Yeah,I'mprettyconfusedalright.

Steven:

Yousee?

FatherMaxi:

Youngman,Theseconfusedfeelingsthatyou'rehavingaresimplytheDevil'swayoftryingtogetaholdofyou.

Butters:

Really?

Steven:

WhatcanIdo,Father?

FatherMaxi:

Thereisaspecialcampwhereyoungmenwhoareconfused,likeyourson,cangoandbecleansedbythepowerofGod.Manybicuriousboyscomeoutthecampcompletelycured.

Steven:

Asecludedcampwherelotsofbicuriousboysareallputtogether?

Thatsoundslikeagoodidea.

Butters:

Whoaboy!

Camp!

[Stan'slivingroom.He,Kyle,andKennyareplayingaboardgame,Living.Adooropensandcloses,andCartmanappears.]

Cartman:

Haahaahahaha!

[crosseshis