Friends老友记第一季第23集The Birth.docx

Friends老友记第一季第23集The Birth.docx

《Friends老友记第一季第23集The Birth.docx》由会员分享，可在线阅读，更多相关《Friends老友记第一季第23集The Birth.docx（13页珍藏版）》请在冰豆网上搜索。

Friends老友记第一季第23集TheBirth

TheOneWiththeBirth

Storyby:

DavidCrane&MartaKauffman

Teleplayby:

JeffGreenstein&JeffStrauss

Transcribedby:

MindyMattinglyPhillips

Minoradditionsandadjustmentsby:

DanSilverstein

[Scene:

Thehospital,Ross,Rachel,Chandler,Joey,andMonicaareinthewaitingroom,waitingforCarolandSusantoarrive.]

Ross:

She'snothereyet.She'snothere.She'shavingmybabyandshe'snothere.

Monica:

I'msureeverything'sfine.Hasherwaterbrokeyet?

Ross:

Idon'tknow,butwhenIspoketoher,shesaidshehadalreadypassedthemucusplug.

（Joeymakesasoundofabsolutedisgust.）

Joey:

Dowehavetoknowaboutthat?

Monica:

Joey,whatareyougonnadowhenyouhaveababy?

Joey:

I'mgonnabeinthewaitin'room,handingoutcigars.

Chandler:

Yes,Joey'smadearrangementstohavehisbabyinamoviefromthe50's.

Ross:

God,Idon'tbelievethis.Shecouldbegivingbirthinthecab.

Rachel:

Oh,Ross,relax.It'sprobablyliketwodollarsforthefirstcontraction,andthenfiftycentsforeachadditionalcontraction.

（EveryonelooksatRachelasthoughshemadeatastelesscomment.）

Rachel:

What,it'sokwhenChandlerdoesit?

Chandler:

Youhavetopickyourmoments.

（Phoebearrives,guitarinhand.）

Phoebe:

DidImissit,didImissit?

Ross:

She'snotevenhereyet.

Monica:

What'swiththeguitar?

Phoebe:

Ijustthoughtwemightbehereforawhile.Youknow,thingsmightgetmusical.

（CarolandSusanarrive.）

Ross:

（toCarol）Wherethehellhaveyoubeen?

Susan:

Westoppedatthegiftshop.

Carol:

Iwaslookingatstuffedanimals,andSusanwantedaChunky.

Ross:

SusanwantedaChunky.We'rehavingababy,ok,ababy,youdon'tstopforChunkys.

Chandler:

Iusedtohavethatbumpersticker.

（EveryoneisamusedbyChandler'scomment.）

Chandler:

（toRachel）YouseewhatImean.

OpeningCredits

[Scene:

Carol'sHospitalRoom,Carolisonthebed,RossandSusanareatherside.]

Ross:

StoppedforaChunky.

Carol:

Letitgo,Ross.

Susan:

Igotanextraone.Youwantthis?

（holdsthecandyinfrontofRoss'face）

Ross:

（weakly）No.

（Carol'sdoctor,Dr.Franzblauarrives.）

Dr.Franzblau:

Hey,how'smyfavoriteparentingteamdoing?

Ross:

Dr.Franzblau,hi.

Dr.Franzblau:

So,Iunderstandyou'rethinkingofhavingababy?

Well,Iseeyou'reninemonthspregnant.That'sagoodstart.Howyoudoingwithyourcontractions?

Carol:

Oh,Ilovethem.Eachone'slikealittlepartyinmyuterus.

Susan:

They'reeveryfourminutesandlast55seconds.

Ross:

59seconds.（holdsuphiswatch）Quartz,ha.

Susan:

Swissquartz,ha,ha.

Carol:

AmIallowedtodrinkanything?

Dr.Franzblau:

Icechips,justicechips.They'reatthenurses'station.

Ross:

I'llgetit.

Susan:

No,I'mgettingit.I'llberightback.

Ross:

Igotit—I'mgettingit!

（TheybothleavejustasRachelenterstheroom,holdingacup.）

Rachel:

Hi,Ithoughtyoumightlikesomeicechips.

Carol:

Thanks.

Rachel:

Andifyouneedanythingelse,I—（noticesthehandsomeDr.Franzblau）—donotbelievewe'vemet.Hi.I'm,uh,RachelGreen.I'mCarol's...ex-husband's...sister'sroommate.

Dr.Franzblau:

Itisnicetomeetyou.I'mDr.Franzblau.I'myourroommate's...brother's...ex-wife'sobstetrician.

Rachel:

Oh,that'sfunny!

[Scene:

TheWaitingRoom,ChandlerisfallingasleeponMonica'sshoulder.]

Monica:

Iwantababy.

Chandler:

Mmmm.Nottonight,honey.Igotanearlydaytomorrow.

Monica:

Getup.Comeon.Let'sgetsomecoffee.

Chandler:

Oh,ok,'causeweneverdothat.

（ChandlerandMonicaleave.CuttoJoey,watchingtheKnicks/Celticsgameontelevision.）

Joey:

（tothescreen）Shoot!

Shoot!

Shoot!

Shoot,orjustfalldown.That'sgoodtoo.

（Ayoungpregnantwomanenters.）

Lydia:

Knickfan?

Joey:

Oh,yeah.

Lydia:

Oh,boy,dotheysuck.

Joey:

Hey,listen,lady....（seesthatshe'spregnant）...whoa.

Lydia:

Look,lookatyourman,Ewing.Niceshot.Youknowwhat,hecouldn'thitwaterifhewasstandingonaboat.

Joey:

Ohyeah?

Andwhodoyoulike?

Lydia:

TheCeltics.

Joey:

TheCeltics?

Ha.Theycouldn'thitaboatif...wait.Theysuck,alright?

Lydia:

Oh,shutup.Youknow,it'sarebuildingyear.You...waah!

Joey:

Wha?

Wha..aa?

Letmegetthefather.Hey,weneedafatheroverhere!

Weneedafather!

Lydia:

Thereisnofather.

Joey:

Oh,oh,oh,sorry.

Lydia:

Ok,that'sok.I'mfine.I'm...oh!

Joey:

Oh,uh,ok.Rightthisway.Alltheotherpregnantwomenseemtobegoin'inhere.

Lydia:

Ok.

（JoeyaccompaniesLydiatoahospitalroom.）

[Scene:

TheWaitingRoom,Phoebeisplayingasong.Chandler,Monica,andRossarethereaswell.]

Phoebe:

（singing）

They'retinyandchubbyandsosweettotouch,

andsoonthey'llgrowupandresentyousomuch.

Nowthey'reyellingatyouandyoudon'tknowwhy,

youcryandyoucryandyoucry.

Andyoucryandyoucryandyoucry...

（RossgivesPhoebeadollar.）

Phoebe:

Thanks,Ross.

Ross:

Yeah.I'mpayingyoutostop.

Phoebe:

Ok.

（Awomanpassesby,carryingnewborntwins.）

Phoebe:

Oh,look,twins.Hi,guys.Oh,cute,cute.

Monica:

Nofair.Idon'tevenhaveone.Howcometheygettwo?

Chandler:

You'llgetone.

Monica:

Ohyeah?

When?

Chandler:

Allright.I'lltellyouwhat.Whenwe're40,ifneitheroneofusaremarried,whatdoyousayyouandIgettogetherandhaveone?

Monica:

Whywon'tIbemarriedwhenI'm40?

Chandler:

Oh,no,no.Ijustmeanthypothetically.

Monica:

Ok,hypothetically,whywon'tIbemarriedwhenI'm40?

Chandler:

No,no,no.

Monica:

Whatisit?

Istheresomethingfundamentallyunmarriableaboutme?

Chandler:

（trapped）Uh,uh.

Monica:

Well?

Chandler:

DearGod!

Thisparachuteisaknapsack!

（throwshimselfoverthebackofthechairhewassittingin）

（Rachelenters,inaformaldress.）

Rachel:

Hey.

Phoebe:

Hey.Ooh,lookatyou,dressy-dress.

Monica:

Didyougohomeandchange?

Rachel:

Yeah,well,it'sanimportantday.Iwannalooknice.Um,hasuhDr.Franzblaubeenby?

Monica:

No,Ihaven'tseenhim.

Rachel:

Well,whereishe?

Heissupposedtobehere.（Pause）Whatifthebabyneedshim?

Chandler:

Rachel,whatisthedealwithyouanddoctors,anyway?

Was,like,yourfatheradoctor?

Rachel:

Yeah,why?

Chandler:

Noreason.（turnsaround,makesan'OhmyGod'gesturewithhiseyes）

[Scene:

JoeyandLydiainthehospitalroom.Lydiaisonthephonewithhermother.]

Lydia:

Mom,we'vebeenthroughthis.No,I'mnotcallinghim.Idon'tcareifitishiskid,theguy'sajerk.No,I'mnotalone.Joey'shere.（pause）Whatdoyoumean,Joeywho?

（coversthephone,toJoey）Joeywho?

Joey:

Tribbiani.

Lydia:

JoeyTribbiani.Yes,ok.Holdon.（toJoey）Shewantstotalktoyou.Takethephone.

Joey:

（takesphone）Hi,yeah,it'sme.（Listens）Oh,nonono,we'rejustfriends.（Listens）Yeah,I'msingle.（Listens）25.（Listens）Anactor.（Listens）Hello?

Lydia:

She'snotmuchofaphoneperson.

Joey:

Yeah,so,uh,so,uh,what'sthedealwiththisfatherguy,Imean,ifsomeonewashavin'mybabysomewhere,I'dwannaknowaboutit,youknow?

Lydia:

Hey,Knickfan,amIinterestedinyourviewsonfatherhood?

Uh,no.

Joey:

Ok,look,maybeIshouldjustgo.

Lydia:

Maybeyoushould.

Joey:

Goodluck,anduh,takecare,huh?

（Heleaves,butthenreturnsamomentlater.）

Joey:

YouknowwhattheCelticsproblemis?

Theylettheplayersruntheteam.

Lydia:

Oh,thatissonottrue.

Joey:

Oh,itis.

Lydia:

Itisn't.

Joey:

Itis.

Lydia:

Isn't!

[Scene:

Carol'sHospitalRoom,RossandSusanarecoachingCarol.]

Ross:

Breathe.

Susan:

Breathe.

Ross:

Breathe.

Susan:

Breathe.

Ross:

Breathe.

Susan:

Breathe.

Carol:

You'regonnakillme!

Ross:

15moreseconds,14,13,12...

Carol:

Countfaster.

Susan:

It'sgonnabeok,justremember,we'redoingthisforJordie.JustkeepfocusingonJordie.

Ross:

WhothehellisJordie?

Susan:

Yourson.

Ross:

No-no-no.Idon'thaveasonnamedJordie.Weallagreed,myson'snameisJamie.

Carol:

Well,JamiewasthenameofSusan'sfirstgirlfriend,sowewentbacktoJordie.

Ross:

What?

Whoa,whoawhoawhoa,whatdoyoumean,backtoJordie?

WeneverlandedonJordie.WejustpassedbyitduringthewholeJessy,Cody,Dylanfiasco.

Carol:

Ow,ow,ow,ow,legcramp,legcramp,legcramp.

Ross:

Igotit.

Susan:

Igotit.

Ross:

Igotit!

Hey,yougettosleepwithher,Igetthecramps.

Susan:

No,youdon't.

Carol:

Allright,that'sit.Iwantbothofyouout.

Ross:

Why?

Susan:

Hestartedit!

Ross:

No,youstartedit.

Susan:

Youdid!

Carol:

Idon'tcare.Iamtryingtogetapersonoutofmybodyhere,andyou'renotmakingitanyeasier.

Ross:

But...

Carol:

Nowgo!

Ross:

（toSusan）Thanksalot.

Susan:

（toRoss）Seewhatyoudid.

Ross:

（toCarol）Yeah,listen...

Carol:

Out!

（RossandSusanbothangrilyleavethehopsitalroom.）

[Scene:

Lydia'sHospitalRoom,JoeyishelpingLydiagothroughlabor,anurseisnowpresentinherroomaswell.]

Nurse:

Breathe,breathe,breathe...

Lydia:

Oh,no.

（JoeylooksdownatLydia.）

Joey:

Ew!

Whatisthat?

Somethingexploded!

Nurse:

It'sjustherwaterbreaking.Calmdown,willyou?

Joey:

（panicked）Waterbreaking,whatdoyoumean?

What'sthat,waterbreaking?

Nurse:

（toJoey）Breathe,breathe,breathe.

[Scene:

TheHall,RossandSusanarearguing.]

Ross:

Please.Thisissoyourfault.

Susan:

How,howisthismyfault?

Ross:

Look,Carolneverthrewmeoutofaroombeforeyoucamealong.

Susan:

Yeah?

Well,there'salotofthingsCarolneverdidbeforeIcamealong.

Ross:

Youtryin'tobeclever?

Afunnylady?

Susan:

Youknowwhatyourproblemis?

You'rethreatenedbyme.

Ross:

Oh,I'mthreatenedbyyou?

Susan:

Yes.

（Phoebehasheardthemarguingandcomesdownthehall,takingthemintoabroomcloset.）

Phoebe:

Hey,hey,ok,allright,that'sit!

Getinhere.Comeon.Mygod,youguys,Idon'tbelieveyou.Therea