The golden honeymoon 金蜜月.docx
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Thegoldenhoneymoon金蜜月
Thegoldenhoneymoon
MOTHERsaysthatwhenIstarttalkingIneverknowwhentostop.ButItellhertheonlytimeIgetachanceiswhensheain'taround,soIhavetomakethemostofit.IguessthefactisneitheroneofuswouldbewelcomeinaQuakermeeting,butasItellMother,whatdidGodgiveustonguesforifHedidn'twantweshouldusethem?
OnlyshesaysHedidn'tgivethemtoustosaythesamethingoverandoveragain,likeIdo,andrepeatmyself.ButIsay:
“Well,Mother,”Isay,“whenpeopleislikeyouandIandbeenmarriedfiftyyears,doyouexpecteverythingIsaywillbesomethingyouain'theardmesaybefore?
Butitmaybenewtoothers,astheyain'tnobodyelselivedwithmeaslongasyouhave.”
Soshesays:
“Youcanbettheyain't,astheycouldn'tnobodyelsestandyouthatlong.”
“Well,”Itellher,“youlookprettyhealthy.”
“MaybeIdo,”shewillsay,“butIlookedevenhealthierbeforeImarriedyou.”
Youcan'tgetaheadofMother.
Yes,sir,wewasmarriedjustfiftyyearsagotheseventeenthdayoflastDecemberandmydaughterandson-in-lawwasoverfromTrentontohelpuscelebratetheGoldenWedding.Myson-in-lawisJohnH.Kramer,therealestateman.Hemade$12,000oneyearandisprettywellthoughtofaroundTrenton;agood,steady,hardworker.TheRotarianswasafterhimalongtimetojoin,buthekepttellingthemhishomewashisclub.ButEdiefnallymadehimjoin.That'smydaughter.
Well,anyway,theycomeovertohelpuscelebratetheGoldenWeddinganditwasprettycrimpyweatherandthefurnacedon'tseemtoheatupnomorelikeitusedtoandMothermadetheremarkthatshehopedthiswinterwouldn'tbeascoldasthelast,referringtothewinterprevious.SoEdiesaidifshewasus,andnothingtokeepushome,shecertainlywouldn'tspendnomorewintersuphereandwhydidn'twejustshutoffthewaterandcloseupthehouseandgodowntoTampa,Florida?
Youknowwewastherefourwintersagoandstaidfiveweeks,butitcostusoverthreehundredandfiftydollarsforhotelbillalone.SoMothersaidwewasn'tgoingnoplacetoberobbed.Somyson-in-lawspokeupandsaidthatTampawasn'ttheonlyplaceintheSouth,andbesideswedidn'thavetostopatnohighpricehotelbutcouldrentusacoupleroomsandboardoutsomewheres,andhehadheardthatSt.Petersburg,Florida,wasthespotandifwesaidthewordhewouldwritedownthereandmakeinquiries.
Well,tomakealongstoryshort,wedecidedtodoitandEdiesaiditwouldbeourGoldenHoneymoonandforapresentmyson-in-lawpaidthedifferencebetweenasectionandacompartmentsoaswecouldhaveacompartmentandhavemoreprivatecy.Inacompartmentyouhaveanupperandlowerberthjustliketheregularsleeper,butitisashutinroombyitselfandgotawashbowl.Thecarwewentinwasallcompartmentsandnoregularberthsatall.Itwasallcompartments.
WewenttoTrentonthenightbeforeandstaidatmydaughterandson-in-lawandweleftTrentonthenextafternoonat3.23P.M.
ThiswasthetwelfthdayofJanuary.Mothersetfacingthefrontofthetrain,asitmakeshergiddytoridebackwards.Isetfacingher,whichdoesnotaffectme.WereachedNorthPhiladelphiaat4.03P.M.andwereachedWestPhiladelphiaat4.14,butdidnotgointoBroadStreet.WereachedBaltimoreat6.30andWashington,D.C.,at7.25.OurtrainlaidoverinWashingtontwohourstillanothertraincomealongtopickusupandIgotoutandstrolleduptheplatformandintotheUnionStation.WhenIcomeback,ourcarhadbeenswitchedontoanothertrack,butIrememberedthenameofit,theLaBelle,asIhadoncevisitedmyauntoutinOconomowoc,Wisconsin,wheretherewasalakeofthatname,soIhadnodifficultyingettinglocated.ButMotherhadnearlyfrettedherselfsickforfearIwouldbeleft.
“Well,”Isaid,“Iwouldoffollowedyouonthenexttrain.”
“Youcouldof,”saidMother,andshepointedoutthatshehadthemoney.
“Well,”Isaid,“weareinWashingtonandIcouldofborrowedfromtheUnitedStatesTreasury.IwouldofpretendedIwasanEnglishman.”
Mothercaughtthepointandlaughedheartily.
OurtrainpulledoutofWashingtonat9.40P.M.andMotherandIturnedinearly,Itakingtheupper.DuringthenightwepassedthroughthegreenfieldsofoldVirginia,thoughitwastoodarktotelliftheywasgreenorwhatcolor.Whenwegotupinthemorning,wewasatFayetteville,NorthCarolina.WehadbreakfastinthediningcarandafterbreakfastIgotinconversationwiththemaninthenextcompartmenttoours.HewasfromLebanon,NewHampshire,andamanabouteightyyearsofage.Hiswifewaswithhim,andtwounmarrieddaughtersandImadetheremarkthatIshouldthinkthefourofthemwouldbecrowdedinonecompartment,buthesaidtheyhadmadethetripeverywinterforfifteenyearsandknowedhowtokeepoutofeachother'sway.HesaidtheywasboundforTarponSprings.
WereachedCharleston,SouthCarolina,at12.50P.M.andarrivedatSavannah,Georgia,at4.20.WereachedJacksonville,Florida,at8.45P.M.andhadanhourandaquartertolayoverthere,butMothermadeafussaboutmegettingoffthetrain,sowehadthedarkymakeupourberthsandretiredbeforeweleftJacksonville.Ididn'tsleepgoodasthetraindonealotofhemmingandhawing,andMotherneversleepsgoodonatrainasshesayssheisalwaysworryingthatIwillfallout.Shesaysshewouldratherhavetheupperherself,asthenshewouldnothavetoworryaboutme,butItellherIcan'ttaketheriskofhavingitgetoutthatIallowedmywifetosleepinanupperberth.Itwouldmaketalk.
WewasupinthemorningintimetoseeourfriendsfromNewHampshiregetoffatTarponSprings,whichwereachedat6.53A.M.
SeveralofourfellowpassengersgotoffatClearwaterandsomeatBelleair,wherethetrainbacksrightuptothedoorofthemammothhotel.Belleairisthewinterheadquartersforthegolfdudesandeverybodythatgotofftherehadtheirbagofsticks,asmanyastenandtwelveinabag.Womenandall.WhenIwasayoungmanwecalleditshinnyandonlyneededoneclubtoplaywithandaboutonegameofitwouldofbeena-plentyforsomeofthesedudes,thewayweplayedit.
ThetrainpulledintoSt.Petersburgat8.20andwhenwegotoffthetrainyouwouldthinktheywasariot,whatwithallthedarkiesbarkingforthedifferenthotels.
IsaidtoMother,Isaid:
“Itisagoodthingwehavegotaplacepickedouttogotoanddon'thavetochooseahotel,asitwouldbehardtochooseamongstthemifeveryoneofthemisthebest.”
Shelaughed.
WefoundajitneyandIgivehimtheaddressoftheroommyson-in-lawhadgotforusandsoonwewasthereandintroducedourselvestotheladythatownsthehouse,ayoungwidowaboutforty-eightyearsofage.Sheshowedusourroom,whichwaslightandairywithacomfortablebedandbureauandwashstand.Itwastwelvedollarsaweek,butthelocationwasgood,onlythreeblocksfromWilliamsPark.
St.Peteiswhatfolkscallsthetown,thoughtheyalsocallittheSunshineCity,astheyclaimthey'snootherplaceinthecountrywherethey'sfewerdayswhenOldSoldon'tsmiledownonMotherEarth,andoneofthenewspapersgivesawayalltheircopiesfreeeverydaywhenthesundon'tshine.Theyclaimtoofonlygivethemawaysomesixty-oddtimesinthelastelevenyears.Anothernicknametheyhavegotforthetownis“thePoorMan'sPalmBeach,”butIguessthey'smenthatcomestherethatcouldborrowasmuchfromthebankassomeoftheWillieboysovertotheotherPalmBeach.
DuringourstaywepaidavisittotheLewisTentCity,whichistheheadquartersfortheTinCanTourists.Butmaybeyouain'theardaboutthem.Well,theyareanorganizationthattakestheirvacationtripsbyautoandcarrieseverythingwiththem.Thatis,theybringalongtheirtentstosleepinandcookinandtheydon'tpatronizenohotelsorcafeterias,buttheyhavegottobebonafideautocampersortheycan'tbelongtotheorganization.
Theytellmethey'sover200,000memberstoitandtheycallthemselvestheTinCannersonaccountofmostoftheirfoodbeingputupintincans.OnecoupleweseenintheTentCitywasacouplefromBrady,Texas,namedMr.andMrs.Pence,whichtheoldmanisovereightyyearsofageandtheyhadcomeintheirautoallthewayfromhome,adistanceof1,641miles.Theytookfiveweeksforthetrip,Mr.Pencedrivingtheentiredistance.
TheTinCannershailsfromeveryStateintheUnionandinthesummertimetheyvisitplaceslikeNewEnglandandtheGreatLakesregion,butinthewinterthemostofthemcomestoFloridaandscattersallovertheState.Whilewewasdownthere,theywasanationalconventionofthematGainesville,Florida,andtheyelectedaFredonia,NewYork,manastheirpresident.HistitleisRoyalTinCanOpeneroftheWorld.Theyhavegotasongwroteupwhicheverybodyhasgottolearnitbeforetheyareamember:
“Thetincanforever!
Hurrah,boys!
Hurrah!
Upwiththetincan!
Downwiththefoe!
Wewillrallyroundthecampfire,we'llrallyonceagain,Shouting,'Weautocampforever!
'“
Thatissomethinglikeit.Andthemembershasalsogottohaveatincanfastenedontothefrontoftheirmachine.
IaskedMotherhowshewouldliketotravelaroundthatwayandshesaid:
“Fine,butnotwithanoldrattlebrainlikeyoudriving.”
“Well,”Isaid,“IameightyearsyoungerthanthisMr.PencewhodroveherefromTexas.”
“Yes,”shesaid,“butheisoldenoughtonotbeskittish.”
Youcan'tgetaheadofMother.
Well,oneofthefirstthingswedoneinSt.PetersburgwastogototheChamberofCommerceandregister