SOUTH PARK1105.docx

SOUTH PARK1105.docx

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SOUTHPARK1105

SOUTHPARK

11X05-FANTASTICEASTERSPECIAL

OriginalAirdate（COM）:

04-APR-2007

WRITTENBYMATTSTONE&TREYPARKER

DIRECTEDBYMATTSTONE&TREYPARKER

TRANSCRIPTPROVIDEDBY"TWIZTV.COM-FREETVSCRIPTSDATABASE"

ORIGINALLYTRANSCRIBEDFORTHESOUTHPARKSCRIPTORIUM

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DISCLAIMER:

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"SOUTHPARK"andotherrelatedentitiesareowned,（TM）and?

byTREYPARKER&MATTSTONEviaCOMEDYCENTRALandCOMEDYPARTNERSinassociationwithIMPORTANTTELEVISION.Thistranscriptispostedherewithouttheirpermission,approval,authorizationorendorsement.Anyreproduction,duplication,distributionordisplayofthismaterialinanyformorbyanymeansisexpresslyprohibited.Itisabsolutelyforbiddentouseitforcommercialgain.Forentertainmentandeducationalpurposesonly.Noinfringementintended.

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SUMMARY:

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StanjustwantssomeonetoexplainwhateggshavetodowithJesusdyingforhissins.DeterminedtogettherealstorybehindalloftheeggsandbunniesthatarepartoftheEasterritual,StanandKylefallinwithaneccentricsocietythatguardsalegendarysecret.

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TRANSCRIPT:

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[TheMarshhouse,outside,night.]

Randy:

[inside]...InmyEasterBonnet,withallthefrillsuponit,I'llbethegrandestladyintheEasterparade.

[TheMarshhouse,diningroomtable.TheMarshesaredecoratingEastereggs.Standipsahard-boiledeggintoaglassofgreendye.Grandpaspinshisslowlyinasmalllathe.Randyfinishesoneupandshowsitoff.]

Randy:

Lookatthatone,huh?

Halfpurpleandhalfyellowwithachikadeesticker.I'mgood.[setsitintotheeggtray]

Stan:

Uh,canIaskaquestion?

Whydowedothis?

Randy:

Wha...whatdoyoumean,"Whydowedothis?

"It'sEaster!

Stan:

Right,so,whydowecoloreggs?

[Shelleymakesacrossface]

Randy:

Wulll,sssothattheEasterbunnycanhidethem.

Stan:

Yeah,butwhy?

Randy:

Stanley,EastercelebratesthedaythatJesuswasresurrectedafterbeingcrucifiedforoursins.

Stan:

Sowedipeggsincoloredvinegarandagiantrabbithidesthem?

Randy:

That'sright.

Stan:

Youdon'tseethemisstepsinlogicwiththat?

[Randyisunfazed,whileShelley,Sharon,andGrandpalookatStandisapprovingly]Look,I'mjustsayingthatsomewherebetweenJesusdyingontheCrossandagiantbunnyhidingeggsthereseemstobea,agapofinformation.

Randy:

Stanley,justdyeyourGoddamnedeggs!

Stan:

[leaveshisseat]Idon'tfeellikecoloringeggs!

Idon'tgetit!

Randy:

Whatiswrongwithhim?

!

Sharon:

Well,he'sjustgettingolder,Randy.MaybehefiguredouttheEasterbunnyisn'treal.[continuesdyingheregg.Randyslamshispalmsdownonthetableangrily.Sharonistakenaback.]

Randy:

[rising]Youknowsolittle!

[leaves]

[SouthParkMall,day.TheEasterbunnyhasabigEasterdisplayatthemallwherehesitsinachairtakingrequestsforEastergifts.Alineofkidsiswaiting.InthatlineareStan,Clyde,Red,Kevin,Craig,Heidi,Millie,Bill,Token,Jimmy,andafewlittlebrothersandsisters]

Cartman:

AndIwantaBaltorsoldierdollforEaster,andfiveCrash'n'GoRCcars,yougotthat?

!

DoyouHAVEthat?

!

MallBunny:

Ahh,don'tyouthinkthat's-

Cartman:

Nono!

Youdon'taskmequestions!

Youarearabbit!

Iamahuman.Soifyoudon'tbringmewhatIwantforEaster,Icanfuckingkillyou!

Aide:

Smile!

[takesapictureandCartmanhopsoff]

Cartman:

Bye,Easterbunny!

[leavse]

MallBunny:

[watcheshimleave]OhMyGod.[Stanwalksupandsitsonthebunny'slap.Thebunnynotices]

Stan:

Allright,canyouexplaintomewhat'sgoingon?

MallBunny:

Huh?

Stan:

Whatisthedealwiththecoloringtheeggsandyouhidingthemandallthat?

WhatdoesthathavetodowithJesusdyingontheCross?

[noreply]Itissymbolic?

AreyoutryingtoreferencesomethingthathappenedinBiblicaltimes?

[nudgeshim]Answerme!

MallBunny:

Look,kidahh,I'mj-,I'mjustaguyinacostume.

Stan:

Iknowthat!

ButIfigureyoumusthavesomeknowledgeofwhatEaster'saboutifyou'replayingtheEasterBunnyatthemall!

MallBunny:

Huhuh,Easter'sjustEaster.Just,justgowithit,kid.

Stan:

NO,I'mnotgonnajustgowithit!

I'mgonnafindoutwhat'sbehindallthis!

[hopsoffandwalksaway]

MallBunny:

Ineedabreak.CanIhaveabreak?

[hegetsitandwalksuptosomepayphonesnearby.Hepicksoneupanddialsanumber]Wehaveaproblem.Somebody'sontous.Yeah,he'saskin'alotofquestions.OnlyamatteroftimebeforehefindsoutwhatEaster'sreallyabout.Yes,Iunderstandwhatmustbedone.Calltheothers.[hangsupthephone]

[Stan'sneighborhood,day.Staniswalkinghomewithdetermination.Hewalksbyabusstopwheresomeoneisreadinganewspaper.ThenewspaperdropsdownabitandthereaderisanotherEasterbunny.Stanstopsandlooksoverhisshoulderandthenewspaperrisestoitsformerpositionagain.Stanwalkson,andthebunnyrisesafewsecondslatertofollowhim.Stannoticesandbeginstorun.AfewsecondslaterhenoticesthreemoreEasterbunniesfacinghim.Withbunniesbehindhimandinfront,herunsacrossthestreettoescape,butacarstopsjustbeforehittinghimandtwomorebunniesstepoutofthecar.Hegetstotheothersideandcontinuesrunninginthesamedirectionasbefore,withthesixbunnieschasinghim.Hemakesithomeandclosesthefrontdoorbehindhim.Thebunniesreachthedoorandstartpoundingonit]

[TheMarshhouse,inside.Stanrunsupstairs.]

Stan:

Mom?

Dad?

[reachesthesecondfloor]Anybodyhome?

?

Randy:

[voiceonly]Notnow,Stanley,I'monthetoilet!

[Stanrunstotherestroomdoorandpoundsonit]

Stan:

Dad!

You'vegottahelpme!

[looksaround]

Randy:

Hangnon,I'mtakingacrap.

Stan:

Dad!

There'sEasterbunnieschasingme!

Randy:

What?

Stan:

Theychasedmefromthemall!

Idon'tknowwhatheywant!

[hearsthefrontdoorbreakingopen]They'recomingin!

Dad,opentheDOOR!

[thebathorrmdooropensandRandylooksout,wearingsomebunnyearsandabunnysnoutwithbuckteeth.]Dad?

?

Randy:

We...needtotalk,Stan.[theEasterbunniesrunupthestairs]Ih,it'sokayguys.

GrayHare:

Randy?

Randy:

Yeah.'Causeitturnsoutthekidwe'reafterismyson.

PurpleHare:

Ohhh.

Randy:

TelltheGrandHareeverythingisokay.I'lltakeitfromhere.

[Stan'sroom.Randyexplainsthings.]

Randy:

Iwantedtokeepthisfromyou,Stan.Ireallywantedtowaituntilyouwereolderbut...youjusthadtokeepaskingquestions!

Stan:

Whywerethoseotherrabbitguyschasingme?

!

Randy:

Wehavetobecarefulwhenwethinksomebody'sontous.[turnsntofacehim]Weareallpartofasecretsociety,Stan.Averyancient,veryimportantsocietyofmenwhofollowthewayoftheRabbit,andprotectthesecretoftheEasterbunny.Wearecalled...theHareClubForMen.

Stan:

[notimpressed,butcurious]DoesMomknowaboutthis?

Randy:

Duh,it'stheHareClubForMen.Chickswouldn'tunderstand.

Stan:

Idon'tunderstand!

Randy:

Ibelongtoasecretsocietythathasbeenaroundforthousandsofyears!

Ouridentiteshavetobeprotected!

Stan:

Could,couldyou,takeoff,theears,please?

Randy:

Stan,youdon'tseemtounderstandhowseriousthisis!

ThesecretofEasterthatweprotectissomethingthatcouldrockthefoundationoftheentireworld!

Stan:

SowhatisthesecretofEaster?

Randy:

Ican'ttellyou.YouhavetobeallowedintotheSocietyfirst,but...butperhaps...it'stime.

[Randy'scar,night.HeandStandrivealongasecludedroad.Stanhasabagoverhisheadsohedoesn'tseewherethey'regoing.]

Randy:

Ialwaysknewthisdaywouldcome,whenmysonwouldbebroughtintothesociety.RemindsmeofthedayIwasbroughtinbymyfather.

Stan:

Grandpa'sinittoo?

Randy:

Ofcourse.MarsheshavebeenintheHareClubForMenforgenerations.Allthewaybacktothebeginning.

Stan:

Dad,doIhavetowearthisbagovermyheadtheentiretime?

Randy:

Youaren'tamemberyet.Youcan'tknowwhereoursecretmeetingstakeplace.We'regoingtoadistantlocation,anoldbuildingnearalakeabout40minutesaway.

Stan:

YoumeantheoldGalvestonLodge?

[Randy'stakenabackatStan'smemoryandsothinksaboutwhattodonext.Afterawhile,hedecidestoremovethebag]

Randy:

Damnit.

[GalvestonLodge,night.Haresfromallaroundgatherinside.T.H.C.F.M.Thelodgeisguardedbytwolargegoldenhares]

Hare1:

HeyBill.

Hare2:

Evenin'Marcus.

Hare3:

Hehhehhey,lookatyou!

Hare4:

Heyeverybody.

[GalvestonLodge,inside.Haresmingleandchat]

Hare5:

StanMarsh,welcome!

Youmustbeveryexcited.

Stan:

MustI?

Grandpa:

Thereheis!

There'smygrandson!

Stan:

HiGrandpa.

Grandpa:

I'mproudofya,Billy.

Stan:

...Stan.

[GalvestonLodge,inductionceremony.RandyplacesastripofwhitefuronStan'sshoulders.ThepurpleHaredipsanegginaglasslavenderdyeandringsthebell.ThegrayHarestepsup,dipshisegginyellowdyeandringsthebell.Thiscontinues.Lateron,agavelissoundedandtheHaresturnleftwithlitcandles.]

PinkHare:

Tonight,wedetermineifanewmemberisworthyofprotectingtheSecret.Bringout...therabbit.

Hares:

SanctumPiteroteum,Deusoreuneum.

Hippitushoppitusreushomine.

Insuspiratoreum,lepusinresanctum.[twoHarescarrytherabbitforwardinagildedcage]

HippitushoppitusDeusDomine.[theysettherabbitbeforethePinkHareandeveryonegenuflects...exceptforStan.Randylooksupandhashimg