Kate and Leopold script.docx

Kate and Leopold script.docx

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KateandLeopoldscript

KateandLeopoldscript

Time.

Time,ithasbeenproposed,isthefourthdimension.

Andyet,formortalman,

Timehasnodimensionatall.

We'relikehorseswithblinders,

seeingonlywhatliesbeforeus.

Foreverguessingthefuture...

andfabricatingthepast.

Brilliant.

Quiteright,YourGrace.

How,youask,canwelifttheseshackles...

Andlivenotinthemoment

butinthegloriousexpanseoftime'scontinuum?

ListenandIshalltellyou.

Thesecretliesintheenduringpowerofourachievements...

ourcreations!

AsthepyramidstestifytotheEgyptians,...

somygloriouserectionshallrepresent...

ourcultureinperpetuity.

Beholdrisingbeforeyou,...

thegreatesterectiononthecontinent.

Thegreatesterectionoftheage!

Thegreatesterectionontheplanet!

Holdthis.

FortheHerald,YourGrace.

Iunderstandyou'remakinganimportantannouncementtonight.

Goodafternoon,ladies.Excuseme,please.

AndthePerrierJouetshouldbechilled

Youunderstand?

Leopold!

Leopold!

Wherehaveyoubeen?

Leopold!

Otis,Idemandexplication!

It'shalfpastfive!

He'snotevendressed!

He'llberead,myLord.Iassureyou.

Idon'twaithimready.

Iwanthimresplendent!

Ah,MissBlaine.

Youdancelikea...herdofcattle.

Youareararewoman...

wholightsuparoomsimplybyleavingit.

Mightyouberich,MissBlaine?

Yousee,whileIamthethirdDuke,thelittlesecret...

ofthoseofusintheroyalcourt,asidefromourgeneraluselessness,...

isourmassiveindebtedness.

It'salwaysbeenyourmisfortune,Leopold...

thatyousothoroughlyamuseyourselfwiththesoundofyourvoice.

Inalifeasstagnantasmine,...

thatIcanamusemyselfatallisanevolutionarymarvel.

Pleasedon'ttouchthat.

Thedeviceyouwerejabberingabout.

Totakeprieststothebelltower.

Totakeanyone,Uncle,tothefloortheysodesire.

Buildingscontinuetoclimb.

soonthey'lloutstripthestaminaofourlegs.

Youspeakofprogressandinvention.

YetwhatIofferyoudownstairsisreality.

Takeawife.Marry.

Marriage.

Marriageisthepromiseofeternallove.

IcannotpromiseeternallywhatIhaveneverfeltmomentarily.

Bornintoprivilege,yetperverselyashamedofit.

Thatisyourtragedy.

MyGod!

Ifmybrothercouldonlyseeyou,he'dbeheartbroken.

YouarenoDuke!

Ofcoursenot.

Themonarchyisdead.Wearerelics.Thatisreality.

ThenewRoyalsaremenofaccomplishment.

MenlikeRoebling,withhisbridge,Edisonwithhislamp,...

Diesel,Bell,Westinghouse

Thosemenmadethemselvesfromnothing!

You,ontheotherhand,werebornwitheverything...

andfromit,fashionednothing.

Asoftonight,Iwashmyhandsofyou.

Takeagoodlookatyourdancecard,Leopold.

Awealthybrideisyouronlysurety.

YourGrace,...

MayIpresentMissTree,oftheTreesofschenectady.

MissTree?

It'sanhonortomakeyourroyalacquaintance,

YourHighness.

shallwe?

Manydreams,alluseless.

Whoareyou?

No...No...

No,Idon'twanttoharmyou.

stop!

Please!

Pardonme...

Go...Go...

stop!

Please!

OhmyGod...

No!

Letgo!

It'sokay!

Youdon'tunderstand!

Letgo!

Idon'twanttohurtyou!

Letgo!

Whatthe?

shit!

OhmyGod...!

Wemustremember,Bart,thatsometimes...

It'sokaytocoloroutsidethelines.

Hello?

MyPalmPilot,youstillhaveit.

Kate,it'soneinthemorning.

Andclearlyyou'reawake,sowhatistheinfraction?

Idon'tknowwhereyourPalmPilotis,...

andIcan'tdothisrightnow.

I'mexpectingacall.

Oh,Bart.sorry,baby.

sheisnotahappyperson.

Goddammit!

Youknowwhat?

Kate,please.I'vegotsomebodyhere.

Iknow.Isawher.

No,youdidn't.Yes,Idid.

It'sa"him",ifthat'sanyconsolation.

sonowthatyouknowI'mnotgettinglaid,gotobed.

Donothanguponme,stuart.

Don'tdothat.

Kate...please.

Ibegofyou,somethingbigishappening.

somethingthatvalidatesmyentirelife

validatesyourentirelife.

Whatcouldthatpossiblybe?

Areyousittingdown?

Yes.

No,you'renot.Yes,Iam.

You'renot.

Okay.

Ifoundit.

Whatdidyoufind?

Theportal.

Acrackinthefabricoftime.

OvertheEastRiver.JustwhereIsaiditwouldbe.

Aportal.AportalintoApril28th,1876.

Ijumped...offtheBrooklynBridge...

andtookawalkin1876today.

IfollowedtheDukeofAlbanyaroundoldNewYork.

Areyoulistening?

Avidly.

Thisisthetwist,Kate.

Here'sthekicker.

What'sthekicker?

Hefollowedmehome.

DukeofBuffalo...

TheDukeofAlbany.

TheAlbanyinEngland,notNewYork....followedyouhome...

Itoldyouabouthim.He'sabrilliantengineer.

Hepatentedthecounter-weightpulley.

Heinventedtheelevator.

Youknowwhat,stuart?

I'mnotyourgirlfriendanymore.

Ihaven'tbeenforawholemonth.

Youcantellmethetruth.

Iamtellingyouthetruth.

YoucantellmeyoupickedupatransvestiteinTimessquare.

Idon'tcare.

Thisisit,Kate,inanutshell.Ourdownfall.

Youneveroncebelievedinme.

Idid,stuart.

Forfouryears.

AndIgotburnt.

Okay.Youwannaknowwhoheis?

I'lltellyou.

He'sahacker.Highend.English.

IknowhimfromColumbia.

He'sintownfortheMacExpoattheJavits.

Wewentout,gotsloppyonGuinness,

Hepassedoutonmycouch.

Andthat'sthetruth?

That'sthetruth.

Areyouhappynow?

Isthatplausibleenoughforyouandyourlittlefocusgroup?

Youknowwhat,stuart?

Iblewmybestyearsonyou.

Thosewereyourbest?

I'msorry.Ihavetogo.

You'llgetyourPilotinthemorning.

Notnow!

It'sokay.

It'sokay.

You!

It'sokay.

Whereaml?

There'snoeasyexplanationforthat.

Ifit'saransomyouseek,myunclewon'tpayacent.

Except,perhaps,formydemise.

You'renotbeingkidnapped.Bart!

Quiet!

Icanscarcelysee,thankstoyourspray.

MyeyesfeellikesteakauPoivre.

soIaskyouagain,wherethehellaml?

!

!

AsfarasI'mconcerned,youmightbeJacktheRipper!

You'dhavemebelievethatI'mbeingdetainedinthetimetocome?

Yes.

Quiet!

Heneedsawalk.

Andyou'dhavemebelievethatyouhavefoundacrackintime.

Youshouldunderstand.

You'reascientist.

Youinventedtheelevator.

Whatisanelevator?

Wherethehellaml?

?

!

!

ItoldyouYouhaven'tactuallygoneanywhere.

You'restillinNewYork.

That,sirisnotNewYork.

I'mafraiditis.

No,Kate.

Hello.What'syourname?

Leopold.

Tellmesomething.

I'mhavingtroublewithmyG5.

HowmuchRAMdoIneedtoproperlyrunOs9.6?

ClearlytheMacExpoisout.

soyoumustbe...amanoutoftime?

OrsergeantPepper?

WeneedsomeprivacyIwantmyPalmPilot.

Maybelateron.

IjustwantmyPalmPilot.

No!

No!

GivememyPalmPilot!

Thisismadness.

Whowasthat?

IfeelasifI'veseenherWomenhavechangedsinceyourtime.

They'vebecomedangerous.

It'sonthelanding!

Yousaythisisnokidnapping.

Yousayyoumeannoharm.

Thenwhywillyounotunlockthedoor?

I'msorry,okay.

I'msorryabouther

Withallduerespect,Ican'tletyoujustrunaroundfreeoutthere.

ThisisNewYorkCity.

It'snotsuchasafeplaceanymore.

AndyoulooklikesomepsychoticescapeefromaRenaissancefaire.

Iunderstandyouhavesomeanxiety.

Butyouhavetotrustme.

I'mgonnagetyouhome.

Ipromise.

Bart!

Theportalopensupagainnextweek.Monday.

Thatwasmyback-update,incaseIdidn'tmakeitlastnight.

It'sonacycle,sortoflikea...totaleclipse.

Onceever20years.Youunderstand?

Generally,Iunderstandeverything.

sinceImetyou,nothing.

IassumeI'minanightmarebroughtonbyagitaorelseI'mdead.

You'renotdead.

Comehere.sitdown.

Wantsomemilkinyours?

Bart!

CanIjusthave...!

sorry.He'sreallygottogoout.

I'dbehonoredifyoutookalookatthose.

I'llexplaineverythingwhenIgetback.

He'sgottogooutnow.

Comeon,let'sgo.

Backinfive.

Onequicktriptospectra,Bart,...

AndyouandIwillbeNobelLaureates.

ComeonBart!

Hey,let'sgo.Comeon.Let'sgo!

Jesus!

Goodboy,Bart!

stay!

Bart,pleasestay!

Bart,pleasestay!

Youforgotthepointything!

stuart

Thisisnotcomplex.

HegavemethePalmPilot,butforgotthepointything.

I'vebeenwarnedaboutyou.

Really?

Andwhat,praytell,didthegreatdisappointmentsay?

Thatyouweredangerous,thoughyouhardlylookit.

Aladyintrousersisn'tdangerous,merelyplain.

Itakeityou'reacareerwoman.Marketresearch.

Fineavocationforwomen,research,

Perfectforthefemininemind.

You'reatrip,Lionel.

Imyselfoncecourtedalibrarianinsussex.

Oh,goodforyou.

Imustconfess,Ifeelaslikewe'vemetonapreviousoccasion.

Well,seeingashowI'venevermetasinglefriendofstuart's,...

AndI'mnotevensurehehasany,

Idon'tsehowthat'spossible.

Oh!

Bart...!

HejustmadeLakeErieoutthere.

Youcan'tjusttossadogoutintothehalllikethat.

Youcan'tdothat.

Iassureyou,Ididnot.

Let'sgo.

Ibegyourpardon?

Comeon,let'sgo.

sorryabouttheelevator,I'vegotthemonthephonerightnow.

Okay,Gracy.

ThisisLionel.stuart'sfriend.

Howdoyoudo?

Tenminutes.Ineedsomeonehererightnow!

Watchit,man!

Ibegyourpardon.

Hey!

Whatareyoudoing?

Weneedtobegoingthatway.Hello?

There'sastoreHello?

I'msorry.

There'sapatchofgrass.

Takehimtheretodohisbusiness.

Willyougivethistostuart,please?

It'shiscablebill.

Thismorning,fromtheBatterytotheBronx,

elevatorshavemysteriously...

sosorry.Idobegyourpardon.

Ibegyourpardon!

Areyougonnar