Kate and Leopold script.docx

1、Kate and Leopold scriptKate and Leopold scriptTime. Time, it has been proposed, is the fourth dimension. And yet, for mortal man, Time has no dimension at all. Were like horses with blinders, seeing only what lies before us. Forever guessing the future. and fabricating the past. Brilliant. Quite rig

2、ht, Your Grace. How, you ask, can we lift these shackles. And livenot in the moment but in the glorious expanse of times continuum? Listen and I shall tell you. The secret lies in the enduring power of our achievements. our creations! As the pyramids testify to the Egyptians,. so my glorious erectio

3、n shall represent. our culture in perpetuity. Behold rising before you,. the greatest erection on the continent. The greatest erection of the age! The greatest erection on the planet! Hold this. For the Herald, Your Grace. I understand youre making an important announcement tonight. Good afternoon,

4、ladies. Excuse me, please. And the Perrier Jouet should be chilled You understand? Leopold! Leopold! Where have you been? Leopold! Otis, I demand explication! Its half past five! Hes not even dressed! Hell be read, my Lord. I assure you. I dont wait him ready. I want him resplendent! Ah, Miss Blaine

5、. You dance like a. herd of cattle. You are a rare woman. who lights up a room simply by leaving it. Might you be rich, Miss Blaine? You see, while I am the third Duke, the little secret. of those of us in the royal court, aside from our general uselessness,. is our massive indebtedness. Its always

6、been your misfortune, Leopold. that you so thoroughly amuse yourself with the sound of your voice. In a life as stagnant as mine,. that I can amuse myself at all is an evolutionary marvel. Please dont touch that. The device you were jabbering about. To take priests to the bell tower. To take anyone,

7、 Uncle, to the floor they so desire. Buildings continue to climb. soon theyll outstrip the stamina of our legs. You speak of progress and invention. Yet what I offer you downstairs is reality. Take a wife. Marry. Marriage. Marriage is the promise of eternal love. I cannot promise eternally what I ha

8、ve never felt momentarily. Born into privilege, yet perversely ashamed of it. That is your tragedy. My God! If my brother could only see you, hed be heartbroken. You are no Duke! Of course not. The monarchy is dead. We are relics. That is reality. The new Royals are men of accomplishment. Men like R

9、oebling, with his bridge, Edison with his lamp,. Diesel, Bell, Westinghouse Those men made themselves from nothing! You, on the other hand, were born with everything. and from it, fashioned nothing. As of tonight, I wash my hands of you. Take a good look at your dance card, Leopold. A wealthy bride

10、is your only surety. Your Grace,. May I present Miss Tree, of the Trees of schenectady. Miss Tree? Its an honor to make your royal acquaintance, Your Highness. shall we? Many dreams, all useless. Who are you? No. No. No, I dont want to harm you. stop! Please! Pardon me. Go. Go. stop! Please! Oh my G

11、od. No! Let go! Its okay! You dont understand! Let go! I dont want to hurt you! Let go! What the? shit! Oh my God.! We must remember, Bart, that sometimes. Its okay to color outside the lines. Hello? My Palm Pilot, you still have it. Kate, its one in the morning. And clearly youre awake, so what is

12、the infraction? I dont know where your Palm Pilot is,. and I cant do this right now. Im expecting a call. Oh, Bart. sorry, baby. she is not a happy person. God dammit! You know what? Kate, please. Ive got somebody here. I know. I saw her. No, you didnt. Yes, I did. Its a him, if thats any consolatio

13、n. so now that you know Im not getting laid, go to bed. Do not hang up on me, stuart. Dont do that. Kate.please. I beg of you, something big is happening. something that validates my entire life validates your entire life. What could that possibly be? Are you sitting down? Yes. No, youre not. Yes, I

14、 am. Youre not. Okay. I found it. What did you find? The portal. A crack in the fabric of time. Over the East River. Just where I said it would be. A portal. A portal into April 28th, 1876. I jumped. off the Brooklyn Bridge. and took a walk in 1876 today. I followed the Duke of Albany around old New

15、 York. Are you listening? Avidly. This is the twist, Kate. Heres the kicker. Whats the kicker? He followed me home. Duke of Buffalo. The Duke of Albany. The Albany in England, not New York. .followed you home. I told you about him. Hes a brilliant engineer. He patented the counter-weight pulley. He

16、invented the elevator. You know what, stuart? Im not your girlfriend anymore. I havent been for a whole month. You can tell me the truth. I am telling you the truth. You can tell me you picked up a transvestite in Times square. I dont care. This is it, Kate, in a nutshell. Our downfall. You never on

17、ce believed in me. I did, stuart. For four years. And I got burnt. Okay. You wanna know who he is? Ill tell you. Hes a hacker. High end. English. I know him from Columbia. Hes in town for the Mac Expo at the Javits. We went out, got sloppy on Guinness, He passed out on my couch. And thats the truth?

18、 Thats the truth. Are you happy now? Is that plausible enough for you and your little focus group? You know what, stuart? I blew my best years on you. Those were your best? Im sorry. I have to go. Youll get your Pilot in the morning. Not now! Its okay. Its okay. You! Its okay. Where am l? Theres no

19、easy explanation for that. If its a ransom you seek, my uncle wont pay a cent. Except, perhaps, for my demise. Youre not being kidnapped. Bart! Quiet! I can scarcely see, thanks to your spray. My eyes feel like steak au Poivre. so I ask you again, where the hell am l?! As far as Im concerned, you mi

20、ght be Jack the Ripper! Youd have me believe that Im being detained in the time to come? Yes. Quiet! He needs a walk. And youd have me believe that you have found a crack in time. You should understand. Youre a scientist. You invented the elevator. What is an elevator? Where the hell am l?! I told y

21、ou You havent actually gone anywhere. Youre still in New York. That, sir is not New York. Im afraid it is. No, Kate. Hello. Whats your name? Leopold. Tell me something. Im having trouble with my G5. How much RAM do I need to properly run Os 9.6? Clearly the Mac Expo is out. so you must be. a man out

22、 of time? Or sergeant Pepper? We need some privacy I want my Palm Pilot. Maybe later on. I just want my Palm Pilot. No! No! Give me my Palm Pilot! This is madness. Who was that? I feel as if Ive seen her Women have changed since your time. Theyve become dangerous. Its on the landing! You say this is

23、 no kidnapping. You say you mean no harm. Then why will you not unlock the door? Im sorry, okay. Im sorry about her With all due respect, I cant let you just run around free out there. This is New York City. Its not such a safe place anymore. And you look like some psychotic escapee from a Renaissan

24、ce faire. I understand you have some anxiety. But you have to trust me. Im gonna get you home. I promise. Bart! The portal opens up again next week. Monday. That was my back-up date, in case I didnt make it last night. Its on a cycle, sort of like a. total eclipse. Once ever 20 years. You understand

25、? Generally, I understand everything. since I met you, nothing. I assume Im in a nightmare brought on by agita or else Im dead. Youre not dead. Come here. sit down. Want some milk in yours? Bart! Can I just have.! sorry. Hes really got to go out. Id be honored if you took a look at those. Ill explai

26、n everything when I get back. Hes got to go out now. Come on, lets go. Back in five. One quick trip to spectra, Bart,. And you and I will be Nobel Laureates. Come on Bart! Hey, lets go. Come on. Lets go! Jesus! Good boy, Bart! stay! Bart, please stay! Bart, please stay! You forgot the pointy thing!

27、stuart This is not complex. He gave me the Palm Pilot, but forgot the pointy thing. Ive been warned about you. Really? And what, pray tell, did the great disappointment say? That you were dangerous, though you hardly look it. A lady in trousers isnt dangerous, merely plain. I take it youre a career

28、woman. Market research. Fine avocation for women, research, Perfect for the feminine mind. Youre a trip, Lionel. I myself once courted a librarian in sussex. Oh, good for you. I must confess, I feel as like weve met on a previous occasion. Well, seeing as how Ive never met a single friend of stuarts

29、,. And Im not even sure he has any, I dont se how thats possible. Oh! Bart.! He just made Lake Erie out there. You cant just toss a dog out into the hall like that. You cant do that. I assure you, I did not. Lets go. I beg your pardon? Come on, lets go. sorry about the elevator, Ive got them on the

30、phone right now. Okay, Gracy. This is Lionel. stuarts friend. How do you do? Ten minutes. I need someone here right now! Watch it, man! I beg your pardon. Hey! What are you doing? We need to be going that way. Hello? Theres a store Hello? Im sorry. Theres a patch of grass. Take him there to do his business. Will you give this to stuart, please? Its his cable bill. This morning, from the Battery to the Bronx, elevators have mysteriously. so sorry. I do beg your pardon. I beg your pardon! Are you gonna r