商务沟通讲义2 GrammarMechanics Challenge.docx

商务沟通讲义2 GrammarMechanics Challenge.docx

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商务沟通讲义2GrammarMechanicsChallenge

Grammar/MechanicsChallenge1

Thefollowingmessagehasmanyfaultsingrammar,spelling,punctuation,capitalization,worduse,andnumberform.RevisethemessagekeepinginmindtheguidelinesintheGrammar/MechanicsHandbook.Youmayuseyourownnameasthewriter.Whenyoufinishyourrevision,printthememowitha1-inchmarginabovetheletterhead.Donotprinttheseinstructions.

InternationalMediaSystems,Inc.

InternalMemo

___________________________________________________________________________

TO:

JocelynSmith-Garcia

FROM:

KevinWest,Manager

DATE:

November4,200x

SUBJECT:

SUGGESTIONFORTELECOMMUTINGSUCCESSFULLY

TohelpyoubecomeaneffectivetelecommuterJocelyn,wehaveafewsuggestionstosharewithyou.Iunderstandyouwillbeworkingathomeforthenext9months.Thefollowingguidelinesshouldhelpyoustayintouchwithus,andcompleateyourworksatisfactory.

∙Besuretocheckyourmessageboreddaily,andrespondimmediatetothosewhoaretryingtoreachyou.

∙Checkyoure-mailatleast3timesaday,answerallmessagespromply,makesurethatyousentcopysofreleventmessage’stotheappropriateofficestaff.

∙TransmitallspreadsheetworktoZacharyJackseninourcomputerservicesdepartment,hewillanalyzeeachweek’sactivitys,andupdateallinventorys.

∙Providemewithendofweekreports’indicatingthemajoraccountsyouserviced.

Inprepareingyourworkareayoushouldmakesureyouhaveadequatespaceforyourcomputerprinterfaxandstorage.ForSecurityreasonsyou’reworkingareashouldbeofflimitstoyourfamilyandfriends.

WewillcontinuetoholdonceaweekstaffmeetingsonFriday’sat10a.m.inthemorning.Doyouthinkitwouldbepossibleforyoutoattend1or2ofthesemeeting.ThenextoneisFridayNovember17th.

IknowyouwillenjoyworkingathomeJoclyn.Followingthesebasicguidelinesshouldhelpyouaccomplishyourwork,andprovidetheofficewithadequatecontactwithyou.

Grammar/MechanicsChallenge2

Revisethefollowinginterofficememothathasfaultsingrammar,spelling,punctuation,capitalization,worduse,andnumberform.Alsopayattentiontodevelopingaconversationalbutprofessionaltone,usingfamiliarwords,andstrivingforpositiveexpression.Youmayuseyourownnameasthewriter.Whenyoufinishyourrevision,printthememowitha1-inchmarginabovetheletterhead.Donotprinttheseinstructions.

MadisonFinancialServices

InterofficeMemo

DATE:

July20,2010

TO:

JeannineHorn,Manager,HumanResources

FROM:

DouglasWaterson,CEO

SUBJECT:

LosingPayrollDataBecauseofHacking

IthascometotheattentionofthewriterthatonJuly18ththesoftwaredatabasemaintainedbyQuantumdataservicesforthepurposeofpreparingpayrollforouremployeeswasaccessedillegally.Wedidnotlearnaboutthe“hacking”ofthesystemuntilyesterdaywhenQuantummadeaexaminationoftheirsystem.

Ouremployeespayrollrecordsincludesocialsecurity#s,employeesaddressesandpayrollinformationsuchasvariousdeductions.Areviewofthefivehundredsixty-sixnamesinthedatabaseshowsnodamagetothedataormodificationofthedata.Wedon’tthinktheirwasanymaliciousintentiontodestroyorannihilatethedata.Individualbankaccountinformationandsuchlikeforemployeesarenotpartofthefile.Itappearsthatnamesmayhavebeencopied,howevernootherinformationwaslost.

Thecomputersholdingthedatabasewereimmediatleytakenoff-line,andmeticulouslyexaminedtoascertainwhetheranydatawerefoundtobecorrupted.Newmoreextensivefirewallshavebeenadded,toprovidebetterSecurity.However,becauseofthesechanges,payrollrecordswillnotbeavailablebeforeJuly24th.

AletterfrommyselftoallemployeesaswellasthesamemessageonthecompanyIntranet,willhenceforthgooutthisp.m..Pertainingtothismatter,pleasedowhatyoucantominimizeconcernamongemployees.Ensurethemthattherepersonaldatahavenotbeenharvested,andthatwehavetookappropriatestepstopreventandavoidfuturehacking.Iappreciateyourhelp.

Grammar/MechanicsChallenge3

Revisethisbusinessletterthathasfaultsingrammar,spelling,punctuation,capitalization,worduse,wordiness,parallelism,danglingmodifiers,andnumberform.Youmayuseyourownnameintheletterheadandasthewriter.

GarthI.Peterson

CertifiedFinancialPlanner3392EconlockhatcheeTrail

Orlando,FL32822-6588（407）551-8791

garth.peterson@

Currentdate

Mrs.JulieNoriega

392BlueLagoonWay

Orlando,FL32814

DearJulie:

Thisistoinformyouthat,asyourFinancialPlanner,I’mhappytorespondtoyourrequestforclarificationontheTaxstatusofeBayprofits.

Asyouinallprobabilityareallreadyawareof,youcanuseeBaytocleanoutyourclosets.