Father Sergius.docx

Father Sergius.docx

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FatherSergius

FatherSergiusbyLeoTolstoyTranslatedbyLouiseandAylmerMaudeIInPetersburgintheeighteen-fortiesasurprisingeventoccurred.AnofficeroftheCuirassierLifeGuards,ahandsomeprincewhoeveryonepredictedwouldbecomeaide-de-camptotheEmperorNicholasIandhaveabrilliantcareer,lefttheservice,brokeoffhisengagementtoabeautifulmaidofhonour,afavouriteoftheEmpress's,gavehissmallestatetohissister,andretiredtoamonasterytobecomeamonk.

Thiseventappearedextraordinaryandinexplicabletothosewhodidnotknowhisinnermotives,butforPrinceStepanKasatskyhimselfitalloccurredsonaturallythathecouldnotimaginehowhecouldhaveactedotherwise.

Hisfather,aretiredcoloneloftheGuards,haddiedwhenStepanwastwelve,andsorryashismotherwastopartfromherson,sheenteredhimattheMilitaryCollegeasherdeceasedhusbandhadintended.

Thewidowherself,withherdaughter,Varvara,movedtoPetersburgtobenearhersonandhavehimwithherfortheholidays.

Theboywasdistinguishedbothbyhisbrilliantabilityandbyhisimmenseself-esteem.Hewasfirstbothinhisstudies--especiallyinmathematics,ofwhichhewasparticularlyfond--andalsoindrillandinriding.Thoughofmorethanaverageheight,hewashandsomeandagile,andhewouldhavebeenanaltogetherexemplarycadethaditnotbeenforhisquicktemper.Hewasremarkablytruthful,andwasneitherdissipatednoraddictedtodrink.Theonlyfaultsthatmarredhisconductwerefitsoffurytowhichhewassubjectandduringwhichhelostcontrolofhimselfandbecamelikeawildanimal.Heoncenearlythrewoutofthewindowanothercadetwhohadbeguntoteasehimabouthiscollectionofminerals.Onanotheroccasionhecamealmostcompletelytogriefbyflingingawholedishofcutletsatanofficerwhowasactingassteward,attackinghimand,itwassaid,strikinghimforhavingbrokenhiswordandtoldabarefacedlie.HewouldcertainlyhavebeenreducedtotherankshadnottheDirectoroftheCollegehushedupthewholematteranddismissedthesteward.

BythetimehewaseighteenhehadfinishedhisCollegecourseandreceivedacommissionaslieutenantinanaristocraticregimentoftheGuards.

TheEmperorNicholasPavlovich（NicholasI）hadnoticedhimwhilehewasstillattheCollege,andcontinuedtotakenoticeofhimintheregiment,anditwasonthisaccountthatpeoplepredictedforhimanappointmentasaide-de-camptotheEmperor.Kasatskyhimselfstronglydesiredit,notfromambitiononlybutchieflybecausesincehiscadetdayshehadbeenpassionatelydevotedtoNicholasPavlovich.TheEmperorhadoftenvisitedtheMilitaryCollegeandeverytimeKasatskysawthattallerectfigure,withbreastexpandedinitsmilitaryovercoat,enteringwithbriskstep,sawthecroppedside-whiskers,themoustache,theaquilinenose,andheardthesonorousvoiceexchanginggreetingswiththecadets,hewasseizedbythesamerapturethatheexperiencedlateronwhenhemetthewomanheloved.Indeed,hispassionateadorationoftheEmperorwasevenstronger:

hewishedtosacrificesomething--everything,evenhimself--toprovehiscompletedevotion.AndtheEmperorNicholaswasconsciousofevokingthisraptureanddeliberatelyarousedit.Heplayedwiththecadets,surroundedhimselfwiththem,treatingthemsometimeswithchildishsimplicity,sometimesasafriend,andthenagainwithmajesticsolemnity.Afterthataffairwiththeofficer,NicholasPavlovichsaidnothingtoKasatsky,butwhenthelatterapproachedhewavedhimawaytheatrically,frowned,shookhisfingerathim,andafterwardswhenleaving,said:

'RememberthatIknoweverything.TherearesomethingsIwouldrathernotknow,buttheyremainhere,'andhepointedtohisheart.

WhenonleavingCollegethecadetswerereceivedbytheEmperor,hedidnotagainrefertoKasatsky'soffence,buttoldthemall,aswashiscustom,thattheyshouldservehimandthefatherlandloyally,thathewouldalwaysbetheirbestfriend,andthatwhennecessarytheymightapproachhimdirect.Allthecadetswereasusualgreatlymoved,andKasatskyevenshedtears,rememberingthepast,andvowedthathewouldservehisbelovedTsarwithallhissoul.

WhenKasatskytookuphiscommissionhismothermovedwithherdaughterfirsttoMoscowandthentotheircountryestate.

Kasatskygavehalfhispropertytohissisterandkeptonlyenoughtomaintainhimselfintheexpensiveregimenthehadjoined.

Toallappearancehewasjustanordinary,brilliantyoungofficeroftheGuardsmakingacareerforhimself;butintenseandcomplexstrivingswentonwithinhim.Fromearlychildhoodhiseffortshadseemedtobeveryvaried,butessentiallytheywerealloneandthesame.Hetriedineverythinghetookuptoattainsuchsuccessandperfectionaswouldevokepraiseandsurprise.Whetheritwashisstudiesorhismilitaryexercises,hetookthemupandworkedatthemtillhewaspraisedandheldupasanexampletoothers.Masteringonesubjecthetookupanother,andobtainedfirstplaceinhisstudies.Forexample,whilestillatCollegehenoticedinhimselfanawkwardnessinFrenchconversation,andcontrivedtomasterFrenchtillhespokeitaswellasRussian,andthenhetookupchessandbecameanexcellentplayer.

Apartfromhismainvocation,whichwastheserviceofhisTsarandthefatherland,healwayssethimselfsomeparticularaim,andhoweverunimportantitwas,devotedhimselfcompletelytoitandlivedforituntilitwasaccomplished.Andassoonasitwasattainedanotheraimwouldimmediatelypresentitself,replacingitspredecessor.Thispassionfordistinguishinghimself,orforaccomplishingsomethinginordertodistinguishhimself,filledhislife.Ontakinguphiscommissionhesethimselftoacquiretheutmostperfectioninknowledgeoftheservice,andverysoonbecameamodelofficer,thoughstillwiththesamefaultofungovernableirascibility,whichhereintheserviceagainledhimtocommitactionsinimicaltohissuccess.

Thenhetooktoreading,havingonceinconversationinsocietyfelthimselfdeficientingeneraleducation--andagainachievedhispurpose.Then,wishingtosecureabrilliantpositioninhighsociety,helearnttodanceexcellentlyandverysoonwasinvitedtoalltheballsinthebestcircles,andtosomeoftheireveninggatherings.Butthisdidnotsatisfyhim:

hewasaccustomedtobeingfirst,andinthissocietywasfarfrombeingso.

Thehighestsocietythenconsisted,andIthinkalwaysconsist,offoursortsofpeople:

richpeoplewhoarereceivedatCourt,peoplenotwealthybutbornandbroughtupinCourtcircles,richpeoplewhoingratiatethemselvesintotheCourtset,andpeopleneitherrichnorbelongingtotheCourtbutwhoingratiatethemselvesintothefirstandsecondsets.

Kasatskydidnotbelongtothefirsttwosets,butwasreadilywelcomedintheothers.Onenteringsocietyhedeterminedtohaverelationswithsomesocietylady,andtohisownsurprisequicklyaccomplishedthispurpose.Hesoonrealized,however,thatthecirclesinwhichhemovedwerenotthehighest,andthatthoughhewasreceivedinthehighestsphereshedidnotbelongtothem.Theywerepolitetohim,butshowedbytheirwholemannerthattheyhadtheirownsetandthathewasnotofit.

AndKasatskywishedtobelongtothatinnercircle.Toattainthatenditwouldbenecessarytobeanaide-de-camptotheEmperor--whichheexpectedtobecome--ortomarryintothatexclusiveset,whichheresolvedtodo.AndhischoicefellonabeautybelongingtotheCourt,whonotmerelybelongedtothecircleintowhichhewishedtobeaccepted,butwhosefriendshipwascovetedbytheveryhighestpeopleandthosemostfirmlyestablishedinthathighestcircle.ThiswasCountessKorotkova.

Kasatskybegantopaycourttoher,andnotmerelyforthesakeofhiscareer.Shewasextremelyattractiveandhesoonfellinlovewithher.Atfirstshewasnoticeablycooltowardshim,butthensuddenlychangedandbecamegracious,andhermothergavehimpressinginvitationstovisitthem.Kasatskyproposedandwasaccepted.Hewassurprisedatthefacilitywithwhichheattainedsuchhappiness.Butthoughhenoticedsomethingstrangeandunusualinthebehaviourtowardshimofbothmotheranddaughter,hewasblindedbybeingsodeeplyinlove,anddidnotrealizewhatalmostthewholetownknew--namely,thathisfianceehadbeentheEmperorNicholas'smistressthepreviousyear.

Twoweeksbeforethedayarrangedforthewedding,KasatskywasatTsarskoeSeloathisfiancee'scountryplace.ItwasahotdayinMay.Heandhisbetrothedhadwalkedaboutthegardenandweresittingonabenchinashadylindenalley.Mary'swhitemuslindresssuitedherparticularlywell,andsheseemedthepersonificationofinnocenceandloveasshesat,nowbendingherhead,nowgazingupattheverytallandhandsomemanwhowasspeakingtoherwithparticulartendernessandself-restraint,asifhefearedbywordorgesturetooffendorsullyherangelicpurity.

Kasatskybelongedtothosemenoftheeighteen-forties（theyarenownolongertobefound）whowhiledeliberatelyandwithoutanyconscientiousscruplescondoningimpurityinthemselves,requiredidealandangelicpurityintheirwomen,regardedallunmarriedwomenoftheircircleaspossessedofsuchpurity,andtreatedthemaccordingly.Therewasmuchthatwasfalseandharmfulinthisoutlook,asconcerningthelaxitythemenpermittedthemselves,butinregardtothewomenthatold-fashionedview（sharplydifferingfromthatheldbyyoungpeopleto-daywhoseeineverygirlmerelyafemaleseekingamate）was,Ithink,ofvalue.Thegirls,perceivingsuchadoration,endeavouredwithmoreorlesssuccesstobe