212 分数.docx

212 分数.docx

《212 分数.docx》由会员分享，可在线阅读，更多相关《212 分数.docx（19页珍藏版）》请在冰豆网上搜索。

212分数

GrowingPains212Highereducation

212_31分数悲喜剧

（Mike和自己的几个伙伴在一起）

Mike:

Alright!

Sayitonemoretime.Wegotoneskitrip,seventytwohours,twentythreewomen,thirtyguys,andonenearsightedchaperone.Gentlemen,thepossibilitiesareendless.

Eddie:

Yeah,I'monlytalkingoneski.

Boner:

There'snowaymyfolksaregoingtoletmego.

Mike:

Boner.Youjustgottalearnhowtohandleoldpeople.

Boner:

Mike,youhaven'teventalkedtoyourparentsyet.

Mike:

ComeonBoner.Doyouactuallythinkthatmyparentscouldsaynotome?

Boner:

Iknow,youcouldtalktomymumanddadforme.

Mike:

No.Eddie,gogetacoupleofchairs,alright.NowBoner.Look.I'llshowyou.I'llbeyourdad,andEddie,youbeBonersmum.

Eddie:

Yesdear.

Mike:

Ok,it'seveningattheStaboneresidenceandyouandyoucharmingparentsaresittingdownforalovelydinner.

Boner:

Mydadusuallysitshere.

Mike:

Fine.

Eddie:

passthepotatoesum,uh,what’syourdadsnameBoner?

Boner:

Sylvester.

Mike:

Waitaminute.Yourdad’snameisSylvesterStabone?

Boner:

Whoknew?

Mike:

Yeah.Ok.SoRichard,whatisityouwantedtotalktousabout?

Boner:

Well,thereisthisskitrip.

Mike:

Skitrip.Ha.Nowwhywouldyouwanttogoonaskitrip?

Youdon'tevenknowhowtoski.

Boner:

Seeguys.Itoldyou.Heaintgoingtoevenletmego.

Mike:

Boner,it'sjustforpretend.Comeon.

Boner:

Oh!

Mike:

Nowgivemeonegoodreasonwhyweshouldletyougo.

Boner:

Women.

Mike:

Women?

Eddie:

Iwillnothavetalklikethisatmytable.GotoyourroomRichard.

Mike:

Comeon.LookBone.Youneversaywomeninfrontofyourparents.Yousaystufflikeclassspirit.Yousaygrowthexperience.Butyounevereversaywomen.

Boner:

Ok,classspirit.

Mike:

Right!

Eddie:

Growthexperience.

Mike:

Yes!

All:

Women!

（Carol在厨房收拾，mIke抱书回来）

Carol:

Don'tleaveyourbookthere.Takethemtoyouroom.

Nosnacking.You'llspoilyourdinner.

Ben:

Mumanddadaresickandcarol’smadwithpower.

Carol:

Isitcleanyet?

Ben:

I'mworking,I’mworking.

Mike:

Heywaitaminute.Mumanddadaresick?

Ohthisisperfect.NowIcanaskthemabouttheskitripwhiletheyareweak.

（Goesuptoparentsroom）

Mike:

CaroljusttoldmetheawfulnewsandwellIjustthoughtI'mcomeintooffermycondolences.

Maggie:

We'resickMike,notdead.

Mike:

Okthen.Thatsettlesit.

Maggie:

Settleswhat?

Mike:

Ohsee,therewasthisclassskitripthisweekendandIthoughtI’dtrytogetoutofitsoIcouldspendsometimepallingaroundwithyouguys.Butobviouslyyouareinnoshapeforthat.SoIgottogo.

Jason:

ForgetitMike.

Mike:

Dad?

Jason:

You'renotgoinganywherewhileyouarestillflunkingEnglish.

Mike:

Ohgreattimingdad.Imean,wehadanEnglishtesttoday.Imeancouldn'tyouhavetoldmethisbeforeItookit.ImeanifI’dknownyouwouldtakethiskindofanattitude,Ijustmayhavestudiedforit.

Jason:

Ah,Ifeelworsethanmike’sgrades.

Maggie:

Metoo.

Jason:

Igottotryagaintocalladoctor.

Maggie:

Youareadoctor.

Jason:

Oh,Iguessthat'swhyIkeepgettingabusysignal.

Eddie:

OhSeaver.Waitup.OhMikeyMikeyMikey.You'renotgoingtobelievethis.ThishasgottobethebestnewssinceLucycamebacktoTV.

Mike:

What?

Eddie:

Boner!

Hisfolksarelettinghimgoontheskitrip.

Boner:

ThanksalotMikey.Howcomeyouaintsharinginmyjoy?

Mike:

CosI’mnotgoing.

BonerandEddie:

What?

Mike:

Yeah,mydadsaysIhavetobepassingEnglish.Hetellsmethisafteryesterday'stest.

Eddie:

Wellareyousureyouflunked?

Mike:

Eddiecomeon.Thisismewe'retalkingabout.Wakeupandsmellyourself.

Eddie:

WellMikey.Aslongasthere'sagradecurve,there'salwaysahope.

Mike:

Hey,yeahyouknow,especiallywithBonerinthecurve.

Boner:

IdowhatIcan.

Eddie:

Whydon'tyougoasktheteachersaidonthisone.Hu?

Mike:

Hey,thanksalotguys.

Mike：

Ah,hi.

Robin:

Himike.

Mike:

Ah,Bobbyright?

Robin:

Robin.

Mike:

Robin,yeah.SoRobinhaveyoufinishedgradingthosetestsfromyesterdayyet?

Robin:

Yeah.Yourdefinitionofadanglingparticiplewas...

Mike:

Inspired?

Robin:

Dirty.

Mike:

Well,howdidIdooverall?

Robin:

Mike,Ican'ttellyou.

Mike:

Ohwhy?

Robin:

It'stherules.

Mike:

ComeonRobin.I,Igottoknow.Whateveryouwant.I'lltrademybodyfortheinformation.

Robin:

isthatanoffer?

Mike:

Ah,lookRobin.Ireallyneedtoknowthisgrade.IfIdon'tpass,Idon'tgoontheskitrip.

Robin:

Oh,you'regoing?

Mike:

Yeah,ifIgetaC.Socomeon.TellmewhatIgot.

Robin:

WhatyougotrhymeswithC.

Mike:

Ah,theschool’sgivingoutG'snow?

Robin:

Dplus.

Mike:

Dplus.Isthatwiththecurve?

Robin:

It'swithanincrediblecurve.

Maggie:

Youwouldnotbelievewhattherestofthehouselookslike.

Jason:

I'mgoingtokillthosekids.Weaskedthemforonefavor,willthehelpwiththehousewhilewe'resick.Butdotheydoit?

No.

Maggie:

Jason,thehouseisperfect.

Jason:

What?

Maggie:

It'slikeahospitaloutthere.Thereisnodust.Allthelaundry’sbeendone.Thetableissetfordinner.Benslittleclotheshavebeenironedfortomorrow.Ihaven'tseenthehousethisorganizedsinceIwentbackto......work.

Jason:

Ohgood.That'sverygood.Youtelladyingmanhe'sabadhousewife.

Maggie:

Oh,honey.Don'tgetupset.Caroljustwentalittleoverboardtryingtodoagreatjob,andIjust...I'vehurtyourfeelingshaven'tI?

Jason:

Nononono,justit'sreallynobigdeal.IfCaroldoesabetterjobthanIdo,thenweshouldbegratefulcosshe'sabighelp.Right?

Maggie:

Right.

Jason:

Andjusttobeclear,wearesayingshedoesdoabetterjob?

Maggie:

OhJason.

Jason:

Nothat'swhatwe'resaying,that’swhatIhearwhenyousay..

Maggie:

Honey.

Jason:

That'swhatI'mhearing.

Maggie:

Ireallydidn'tmeanthat.

Teacher2:

AsRobinpassesoutyourtestsfromyesterday,ImustsayIwassoshocked.NoonegotbelowaC.I'mseekingprofessionalhelp.

Mike:

AnA.IgotanA?

RobinI'ma.AnA?

Robin:

Irecheckedyourpaper.

Mike:

Ahyeah,butMissCharter'sgoingtofindout.Imeanshe'llknow.

Robin:

Sheneverevenseesthepapers.You'resafewithme.Youlookkindofcutewithyourmouthhangingopenlikethat.

Mike:

Yes!

ThismeansIcangoontheskitrip.LookRobin,Ireallyoweyouinamajorway.

Robin:

Wellyou'rewelcomeinamajorway.

Mike:

Look,ifthereisanythingthatIcandoforyouRobin,yougotit.Ok?

Robin:

Mike.Theskitrip.

Mike:

Yeah,whataboutit?

Robin:

I'dlovetobeyourdateontheskitrip.

Mike:

Whatskitrip?

Robin:

THEskitrip.

Mike:

Ahhaha.NoRobin,Robin.See,noneofusguysaretakingdatesontheskitripbecausetherearegoingtobesomanycoyotesupthere.Yeah,thosethosehillsarejustcrawlingwithcoyotes（howls）

Robin:

Mike,theonlyreasonthatyouareabletogoisthatIchangedyourgrade.

Mike:

YeahandIamverythank-fullforthat.

Robin:

Areyou?

Mike:

Oh!

Robin:

You'reevencuterwiththatdumblookonyourface.

Boner:

Soagirlisforcingyoutospendtheweekendwithher?

Mike:

Yes.

Boner:

Andthisisabadthing?

Mike:

Yes.

Eddie:

OkMikey,lookatitthisway.Let’ssayyouwasateachersaidandyouwerehelpingoutacutechickwithaphonygrade.Whatwouldyouexpectinreturn?

Yousee?

Mike:

Nono.Totallydifferentsituation.

Eddie:

How?

Mike:

Ok,ifItreatagirlhowshe'sbeentreatingme,itwouldbeobviousthat,well,thatthegirlwouldfeelasrottenasIdo.It'snodifferent.Ohno.I'mmaturing.

EddieandBoner:

No!

Eddie:

Right,thefactshereare;ifyoudon'ttakeRobinwithyouontheskitrip,she'sgoingtochangeyourgradeback,andyoucan'tgo.

Mike:

NowwhatdoIdo?

Boner:

IwishIhadproblemslikethis.

Eddie:

YouknowIhaveneverhadaseconddatewithachickinmylife.Girlsneverlikemeoncetheygettoknowme.

Boner:

Ifnogirlsknowme,I'dprobablygettobethemostpopulardudeinschool.

Mike:

Heycarol,Ineedtoaskyousomething.

Carol:

Takeyourshoesoff.

Mike:

Why?

Carol:

Ijustwaxedthefloor.

Mike:

OkCarollook.Ineedsomeadviceok?

Carol:

Frommo?

Mike:

Ok.Nicejob.OknowCarol.Let’ssayyouwerereallydesperateandyoutrappedthisguyintogoingoutwithyou.

Carol:

Letsnot.

Mike:

Nono.Letssayyoutrappedhim,becauseyoulikedhim.Nowwhatcouldhedotomakeyounotlikehim?

Carol:

You'reserious?

Mike:

Yeah.

Carol:

Ok.Wellfirst,anyguywhocouldbetrappedintoadate,isaweakkneedwinky.NowIamtalkingmajorwinky.

Mike:

Forgetit.Forgetit.

Ben:

Ok,Icleanedmyroomandahhhhhhhh!

（Fallsonthefloor）

Mike:

Verynicejob.

Jason:

Placedoesn'tlooksogreat.

Mike:

Heydad.

Jason:

Look!

Dust!

Shecallsthisclean.Ah.

Mike:

DadIthinkit'sthefevertalking.

Jason:

Ohyeah.It'smeit'sme.Everythingelseisjustfine.Waitaminute;Iknowsomethingthat'snotfine.WhathappenedonyourEnglishtest?

Hu?

Mike:

Alright,IgotanA.

Jason:

Letmeseethattest.A!

Wow!

Mike:

Yeah,Ididn'tevencheatonit.

Jason:

"Punctuation,thecoloniswherefooddigestswhenyoueatit."

Mike:

Ah,itwasgradedonacurve.

Jason:

Yeah,apparently.

Jason:

Well,Iguessthatmeansyou'regoingtobeabletogoonthatskitripafterall.

Mike:

Yeah,Iguessso.

Jason:

Youdon'tsoundtoothrilledaboutit.

Mike:

Dad,canIaskyouradviceaboutsomething?

Jason:

Why?

Mike:

Well,you'remydad.Youlikethatkindofstuff.

Jason:

Ohyeah.

Mike:

Now,ifsomebodydoesyouafavor,outoftheblue,andit’sareallygreatfavorbutyoudidn’taskthemto,andnowtheywantyoutopaythemback,whatdoyoudo?

Jason:

Well,forstartersyoushouldrefusethefavor.

Mike:

Areyoukidding?

Jason:

Wellthenyou'vegottopaythemback.

Mike:

ThatwasnottheanswerIwash