好笑的英语笑话5分钟好笑的英语笑话大全.docx

好笑的英语笑话5分钟好笑的英语笑话大全.docx

《好笑的英语笑话5分钟好笑的英语笑话大全.docx》由会员分享，可在线阅读，更多相关《好笑的英语笑话5分钟好笑的英语笑话大全.docx（7页珍藏版）》请在冰豆网上搜索。

好笑的英语笑话5分钟好笑的英语笑话大全

竭诚为您提供优质的服务，优质的文档，谢谢阅读/双击去除

好笑的英语笑话【5分钟好笑的英语笑话大全】

　　笑话作为一种特殊的交际策略，它能够帮助人们缓解尴尬的气氛，从而保持和谐的人际关系。

小编精心收集了5分钟好笑的英语笑话，供大家欣赏学习!

5分钟好笑的英语笑话篇1

　　Forestgumpgoestoheaven

　　Thedayfinallyarrived:

Forestgumpdiesandgoestoheaven.

　　heismetatthepearlygatesbysaintpeterhimself.Thegatesareclosed,however,andForestapproachesthegatekeeper.

　　saintpetersays,"well,Forest,it'scertainlygoodtoseeyou.wehaveheardalotaboutyou.""Imustinformyouthattheplaceisfillingupfast,andwe'vebeenadministeringanentranceexaminationforeveryone.Thetestsarefairlyshort,butyouneedtopassbeforeyoucangetintoheaven."

　　Forestresponds,"Itshoreisgoodtobeheresaintpeter.Iwaslookingforwardtothis.""Nobodyevertoldmeaboutanyentranceexams.shorehopethetestain'ttoohard;lifewasabigenoughtestasitwas."

　　saintpetergoeson,"yes,IknowForest.""but,thetestIhaveforyouisonlythreequestions.hereisthefirst:

what

　　daysoftheweekbeginwiththeletter'T'?

""second,howmanysecondsarethereinayear?

""Third,whatisgod'sfirst

　　name?

"

　　Forestgoesawaytothinkthequestionsover.hereturnsthenextdayandgoesuptosaintpetertotrytoanswertheexamquestions.

　　saintpeterwaveshimupandasks,"Nowthatyouhavehadachancetothinkthequestionsover,tellmeyouranswers."

　　Forestsays,"well,thefirstone,-howmanydaysoftheweekbeginwiththeletter'T'?

""shucks,thatone'seasy;that'dbeTodayandTomorrow!

"Thesaint'seyesopenwideandheexclaims,"Forest!

That'snotwhatIwasthinking,but...youdohaveapointthough,andIguessIdidn'tspecify,soIgiveyoucreditforthatanswer."

　　"howaboutthenextone"sayssaintpeter,"howmanysecondsinayear?

"

　　"Nowthatone'sharder,"saysForest."but,Ithunkandthunkaboutthat,andIguesstheonlyanswercanbetwelve."

　　Astounded,saintpetersays,"Twelve!

""Twelve!

""Forest,howinheaven'snamecouldyoucomeupwithtwelvesecondsinayear?

"

　　Forestsays,"shucks,theregottabetwelve:

januarysecond,Februarysecond,marchsecond...""holdit,"interruptssaint

　　peter."Iseewhereyou'regoingwithit.""AndIguessIseeyourpoint,thoughthatwasn'tquitewhatIhadinmind.""I'll

　　giveyoucreditforthatonetoo."

　　"Let'sgoonwiththenextandfinalquestion,"sayssaintpeter,"canyoutellmegod'sfirstname?

"

　　Forestsays,"wellshore,Iknowgod'sfirstname.""everbodyproblyknowsit.""It'showard."

　　"howard?

"askssaintpeter."whatmakesyouthinkit's'howard'?

"

　　Forestanswers,"It'sintheprayer."

　　"Theprayer?

"askssaintpeter,"whichprayer?

"

　　"TheLord'sprayer,"respondsForest:

"ourFather,howardbethyname..."

5分钟好笑的英语笑话篇2

　　whatisThisgoingtocostme

　　ItseemsgodnoticedAdamwasdespondent.sotheLordgodsaid,"Adam,comeoverhereandsitdown!

".AndAdamdidso.

　　"Adam,"spokethecreator,"Iseeyourcountenanceisfallenandyouseemtofeelrottenandlonely."Adamsaidnothingin

　　response."so,"continuedtheLord,"Iamgoingtocreateanalternatepersonwhowillbewithyou!

"Adamjustlookedpuzzledbutinterested."Thisperson,"saidtheLord,"willtakealltherawandtastelessfoodthatyouarecurrentlyruiningandwillpreparewonderful,spicy,andtastydishes."

　　Adamlookedgrateful."Thisperson,"saidtheLord,"willbebeautifultobeholdandgracefulandinterestingtowatchasshewalks."Adamlookedthoughtful."Thisperson,"emphasizedtheLord,"willbeabletosatisfyallthosedreamsthatyoucurrentlyarehaving!

"Adamreallylookedbelieved."And,lastly,"saidtheLord,"shewillobeyyoureverywhimanddesireandorderwithcheerfulness."Adamwasreallyimpressedandfinallyspoke.

　　"o.K.,Lord,butwhatisthisgoingtocostme?

""Anarmandaleg,"saidtheAlmighty.

　　"well,"Adamthensaid,"whatcanIgetforarib?

"

5分钟好笑的英语笑话篇3

　　Nungoingtochicago

　　Thisnunwasgoingtochicago.shewenttotheairportandsatdownwaitingforherflightandshelookedoverinthecornerandsawoneofthoseweightmachinesthattellsyourfortune.soshethoughttoherselfI'llgiveitatryjusttoseewhatittellsme.

　　soshewentovertothemachineandsheputhernickelinandcardcameoutanditsaid,you'reanunyouweigh128lbsandyou'regoingtochicagoIllinois.soshesatbackdownandthoughtaboutit,shethoughttoherselfitprobablytellseveryonethesamething,I'mgoingtryitagain.

　　soshewentovertothemachineagainandputhernickelinit,acardcameoutandsaid,you'reanun,youweigh128lbs.,you'regoingtochicagoIll.andyou'regoingtoplayafiddle.shesaidtoherselfIknowthat'swrongIhaveneverplayedamusicalinstrumentadayinmylife.shesatbackdownandthiscowboycameoverandsethisfiddlecasedown.shepickedupthefiddleandjuststartedplayingbeautifulmusic.shelookedbackatthemachineandsaidthisisincredibleI'vegottotryitagain.

　　soshewentbacktothemachineputhernickelinanothercardcameoutanditsaid,you'reanun,youweigh128lbs.,you'regoingtochicagoIll.andyou'regoingtobreakwind.shethinksIknowit'swrongnowI'veneverbrokewindinpublicadayinmylife,wellshetrippedandfelloffthescalesandFArTeDlikeabaymule.soshesatbackdownandlookedatthemachineonceagain.shesaidtoherselfthisistrulyunbelievable,I'vegottotryitagain.

　　shewentbacktothemachine,puthernickelinandacardcameoutandsaid,you'reanun,youweigh128lbs.,you'regoingtochicagoIll.andyou'regoingtohavesex.shesaidah-hahthatdoesit.Iknowforsureitswrongnow,I'manun,ain'teverhadnone,andain'tevergonnagetnone.wellahugeelectricalstormcamethroughandtheelectricitywentoffandshegotraped...shesatbackdownandthoughtaboutitforfewminutesandthensaidthisistruly,truly,incredible.butonethingisforcertain,I'vegottotryitagainjusttoseewhatisgonnahappentomebeforeIleavethisairport.

　　shewentovertothemachineputhernickelinandacardcameoutanditsaid.you'reanun,youweigh128lbs.,youhavefiddled,farted,andfuckedaroundandmissedyourflighttochicago!

　　看了“5分钟好笑的英语笑话”的人还看了：

　　1.最搞笑的英语小笑话十则

　　2.爆笑三分钟英语笑话精选

　　3.关于搞笑的英语笑话大全

　　4.2分钟好笑的英语笑话

　　5.简单搞笑的英语笑话大全

最后，小编希望文章对您有所帮助，如果有不周到的地方请多谅解，更多相关的文章正在创作中，希望您定期关注。

谢谢支持！