RipVanWinkle.docx

RipVanWinkle.docx

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RipVanWinkle

RipVanWinkle

APOSTHUMOUSWRITINGOFDIEDRICHKNICKERBOCKER

ByWoden,GodofSaxons,

FromwhencecomesWensday,thatisWodensday,

TruthisathingthateverIwillkeep

UntothylkedayinwhichIcreepinto

Mysepulchre.

CARTWRIGHT

ThefollowingTalewasfoundamongthepapersofthelateDiedrichKnickerbocker,anoldgentlemanofNewYork,whowasverycuriousintheDutchhistoryoftheprovince,andthemannersofthedescendantsfromitsprimitivesettlers.Hishistoricalresearches,however,didnotliesomuchamongbooksasamongmen;fortheformerarelamentablyscantyonhisfavoritetopics;whereashefoundtheoldburghers,andstillmoretheirwives,richinthatlegendarylore,soinvaluabletotruehistory.Whenever,therefore,hehappeneduponagenuineDutchfamily,snuglyshutupinitslow-roofedfarmhouse,underaspreadingsycamore,helookeduponitasalittleclaspedvolumeofblack-letter,andstudieditwiththezealofabook-worm.

TheresultofalltheseresearcheswasahistoryoftheprovinceduringthereignoftheDutchgovernors,whichhepublishedsomeyearssince.Therehavebeenvariousopinionsastotheliterarycharacterofhiswork,and,totellthetruth,itisnotawhitbetterthanitshouldbe.Itschiefmeritisitsscrupulousaccuracy,whichindeedwasalittlequestionedonitsfirstappearance,buthassincebeencompletelyestablished;anditisnowadmittedintoallhistoricalcollections,asabookofunquestionableauthority.

Theoldgentlemandiedshortlyafterthepublicationofhiswork,andnowthatheisdeadandgone,itcannotdomuchharmtohismemorytosaythathistimemighthavebeenbetteremployedinweightierlabors.He,however,wasapttoridehishobbyhisownway;andthoughitdidnowandthenkickupthedustalittleintheeyesofhisneighbors,andgrievethespiritofsomefriends,forwhomhefeltthetruestdeferenceandaffection;yethiserrorsandfolliesareremembered"moreinsorrowthaninanger,"anditbeginstobesuspected,thatheneverintendedtoinjureoroffend.Buthoweverhismemorymaybeappreciatedbycritics,itisstillhelddearbymanyfolks,whosegoodopinioniswellworthhaving;particularlybycertainbiscuit-bakers,whohavegonesofarastoimprinthislikenessontheirnew-yearcakes;andhavethusgivenhimachanceforimmortality,almostequaltothebeingstampedonaWaterlooMedal,oraQueenAnne'sFarthing.

WhoeverhasmadeavoyageuptheHudsonmustremembertheKaatskillmountains.TheyareadismemberedbranchofthegreatAppalachianfamily,andareseenawaytothewestoftheriver,swellinguptoanobleheight,andlordingitoverthesurroundingcountry.Everychangeofseason,everychangeofweather,indeed,everyhouroftheday,producessomechangeinthemagicalhuesandshapesofthesemountains,andtheyareregardedbyallthegoodwives,farandnear,asperfectbarometers.Whentheweatherisfairandsettled,theyareclothedinblueandpurple,andprinttheirboldoutlinesonthecleareveningsky,but,sometimes,whentherestofthelandscapeiscloudless,theywillgatherahoodofgrayvaporsabouttheirsummits,which,inthelastraysofthesettingsun,willglowandlightuplikeacrownofglory.

Atthefootofthesefairymountains,thevoyagermayhavedescriedthelightsmokecurlingupfromavillage,whoseshingle-roofsgleamamongthetrees,justwherethebluetintsoftheuplandmeltawayintothefreshgreenofthenearerlandscape.Itisalittlevillageofgreatantiquity,havingbeenfoundedbysomeoftheDutchcolonists,intheearlytimesoftheprovince,justaboutthebeginningofthegovernmentofthegoodPeterStuyvesant,（mayherestinpeace!

）andthereweresomeofthehousesoftheoriginalsettlersstandingwithinafewyears,builtofsmallyellowbricksbroughtfromHolland,havinglatticedwindowsandgablefronts,surmountedwithweather-cocks.

Inthatsamevillage,andinoneoftheseveryhouses（which,totelltheprecisetruth,wassadlytime-wornandweather-beaten）,therelivedmanyyearssince,whilethecountrywasyetaprovinceofGreatBritain,asimplegood-naturedfellowofthenameofRipVanWinkle.HewasadescendantoftheVanWinkleswhofiguredsogallantlyinthechivalrousdaysofPeterStuyvesant,andaccompaniedhimtothesiegeofFortChristina.Heinherited,however,butlittleofthemartialcharacterofhisancestors.Ihaveobservedthathewasasimplegood-naturedman;hewas,moreover,akindneighbor,andanobedienthen-peckedhusband.Indeed,tothelattercircumstancemightbeowingthatmeeknessofspiritwhichgainedhimsuchuniversalpopularity;forthosemenaremostapttobeobsequiousandconciliatingabroad,whoareunderthedisciplineofshrewsathome.Theirtempers,doubtless,arerenderedpliantandmalleableinthefieryfurnaceofdomestictribulation;andacurtainlectureisworthallthesermonsintheworldforteachingthevirtuesofpatienceandlong-suffering.Atermagantwifemay,therefore,insomerespects,beconsideredatolerableblessing;andifso,RipVanWinklewasthriceblessed.

Certainitis,thathewasagreatfavoriteamongallthegoodwivesofthevillage,who,asusual,withtheamiablesex,tookhispartinallfamilysquabbles;andneverfailed,whenevertheytalkedthosemattersoverintheireveninggossipings,tolayalltheblameonDameVanWinkle.Thechildrenofthevillage,too,wouldshoutwithjoywheneverheapproached.Heassistedattheirsports,madetheirplaythings,taughtthemtoflykitesandshootmarbles,andtoldthemlongstoriesofghosts,witches,andIndians.Wheneverhewentdodgingaboutthevillage,hewassurroundedbyatroopofthem,hangingonhisskirts,clamberingonhisback,andplayingathousandtricksonhimwithimpunity;andnotadogwouldbarkathimthroughouttheneighborhood.

ThegreaterrorinRip'scompositionwasaninsuperableaversiontoallkindsofprofitablelabor.Itcouldnotbefromthewantofassiduityorperseverance;forhewouldsitonawetrock,witharodaslongandheavyasaTartar'slance,andfishalldaywithoutamurmur,eventhoughheshouldnotbeencouragedbyasinglenibble.Hewouldcarryafowling-pieceonhisshoulderforhourstogether,trudgingthroughwoodsandswamps,anduphillanddowndale,toshootafewsquirrelsorwildpigeons.Hewouldneverrefusetoassistaneighborevenintheroughesttoil,andwasaforemostmanatallcountryfrolicsforhuskingIndiancorn,orbuildingstone-fences;thewomenofthevillage,too,usedtoemployhimtoruntheirerrands,andtodosuchlittleoddjobsastheirlessobliginghusbandswouldnotdoforthem.InawordRipwasreadytoattendtoanybody'sbusinessbuthisown;butastodoingfamilyduty,andkeepinghisfarminorder,hefounditimpossible.

Infact,hedeclareditwasofnousetoworkonhisfarm;itwasthemostpestilentlittlepieceofgroundinthewholecountry;everythingaboutitwentwrong,andwouldgowrong,inspiteofhim.Hisfenceswerecontinuallyfallingtopieces;hiscowwouldeithergoastray,orgetamongthecabbages;weedsweresuretogrowquickerinhisfieldsthananywhereelse;therainalwaysmadeapointofsettinginjustashehadsomeout-doorworktodo;sothatthoughhispatrimonialestatehaddwindledawayunderhismanagement,acrebyacre,untiltherewaslittlemoreleftthanamerepatchofIndiancornandpotatoes,yetitwastheworstconditionedfarmintheneighborhood.

Hischildren,too,wereasraggedandwildasiftheybelongedtonobody.HissonRip,anurchinbegotteninhisownlikeness,promisedtoinheritthehabits,withtheoldclothesofhisfather.Hewasgenerallyseentroopinglikeacoltathismother'sheels,equippedinapairofhisfather'scast-offgalligaskins,whichhehadmuchadotoholdupwithonehand,asafineladydoeshertraininbadweather.

RipVanWinkle,however,wasoneofthosehappymortals,offoolish,well-oileddispositions,whotaketheworldeasy,eatwhitebreadorbrown,whichevercanbegotwithleastthoughtortrouble,andwouldratherstarveonapennythanworkforapound.Iflefttohimself,hewouldhavewhistledlifeawayinperfectcontentment;buthiswifekeptcontinuallydinninginhisearsabouthisidleness,hiscarelessness,andtheruinhewasbringingonhisfamily.Morning,noon,andnight,hertonguewasincessantlygoing,andeverythinghesaidordidwassuretoproduceatorrentofhouseholdeloquence.Riphadbutonewayofreplyingtoalllecturesofthekind,andthat,byfrequentuse,hadgrownintoahabit.Heshruggedhisshoulders,shookhishead,castuphiseyes,butsaidnothing.This,however,alwaysprovokedafreshvolleyfromhiswife;sothathewasfaintodrawoffhisforces,andtaketotheoutsideofthehouse-theonlysidewhich,intruth,belongstoahen-peckedhusband.

Rip'ssoledomesticadherentwashisdogWolf,whowasasmuchhen-peckedashismaster;forDameVanWinkleregardedthemascompanionsinidleness,andevenlookeduponWolfwithanevileye,asthecauseofhismaster'sgoingsooftenastray.Trueitis,inallpointsofspiritbefittinganhonorabledog,hewasascourageousananimalaseverscouredthewoods-butwhatcouragecanwithstandtheever-duringandall-besettingterrorsofawoman'stongue?

ThemomentWolfenteredthehousehiscrestfell,histaildroopedtotheground,orcurledbetweenhislegs,hesneakedaboutwithagallowsair,castingmanyasidelongglanceatDameVanWinkle,andattheleastflourishofabroom-stickorladle,hewouldflytothedoorwithyelpingprecipitation.

TimesgrewworseandworsewithRipVanWinkleasyearsofmatrimonyrolledon;atarttempern