Seven Ways to Beat Shyness 泛读课文翻译.docx

Seven Ways to Beat Shyness 泛读课文翻译.docx

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SevenWaystoBeatShyness泛读课文翻译

参考译文

1.课文一

2.课文二

Text1

SevenWaystoBeatShyness

byCarolynKitch

Shynesshaslongbeenagreatconcernformanypeople.Whattodoaboutshyness?

Thearticlebelowprovidesuswithwaystoovercomeshyness.Readitandseewhetherthesewaysareeffective.

The43-year-oldwomanlivedinconstantfearofstrangers,whetheratpartieswithherhusbandoratschoolfunctions1withherthreechildren.“Ienduredtheseevents,”shesays,“bykeepingasquietaspossible,notlookinganyonejustintheeye,andjustwaitingforthehourwhenIcouldgohome.IfeltotherssawhowuncomfortableIwas.”

Todaythiswomanhaslearnedtoovercomehershyness,usingtechniquesfoundtobesuccessfulincountlesscases.Shehasacircleoffriendsandsheparticipatesinactivitiesatherkids'school.Andshenowrealizesthatshewasn'taloneinherproblem.

Oftenmistakenlyregardedasachildhoodstagethatpeopleoutgrow,shynessissurprisinglywidespread.PhilipZimbardo,aStanfordUniversitypsychologist,co-directoroftheShynessInstituteandauthorofShyness:

WhatItIs,WhattoDoAboutIt,surveyedmorethan10000peopleduringthe1970sand‘80sandfoundthatapproximately40percentofthissampledescribedthemselvesasshy.

Anotherstudyof1600people,conductedbypsychologistBernardoCarducci,placesthefigureat48percent.AccordingtoZimbardo,anadditional15percentare“situationallyshy,experiencingshynessincertainstressfulcircumstances,suchasspeakinginpublic.”Theresearchindicatesthatmalesandfemalesareequallyshy.

Theremaybeno“cures”forshyness.However,researchisuncoveringwaysshypeoplecanovercometheirproblemsoitdoesn'ttakesuchatoll2ontheirhappiness.Here'sthebestoftheexperts'advice:

1.Useajournaltogettotherootofyourfears.“Awrittenrecordisacheap,effectivetherapist,”sayspsychotherapistChristopherMcCullough,authorofAlwaysatEase:

OvercomingAnxietyandShynessinEverySituation.“Weknowmoreaboutourselvesthanwethinkweknow,andit'softensurprisingwhatcomesoutwhenwewritedownourthoughtsandfears.”

OneofMcCullough'sformerpatients,asinglewomaninhermid-30s,sufferedsevereshynessaboutdating.“Shewrotedowneverythingthathappenedsurroundingadate:

gettingthephonecall,makingarrangementstogoout,whatwassaidduringthedate,whatwassaidaboutfutureplans,”McCulloughsays,“aswellaswhatshewasthinkingwhileallthiswasgoingon.”Thewomannoticedarecurrenttheme.“Shewasafraidthatamanmightlikeher,butshemightnotlikehim－andthenshewouldn'tknowhowtogetoutoftherelationship.”

McCulloughexplainsthattheytalkedaboutthingsshecouldsaytomenshedidn'twanttoseeanymore.“Onceshehadthosetools,datingbecamemuchlessstressful.”

Thoughthewomanwassituationallyshy－onlyoneaspectofherlife,dating,wasproblematic－ajournalcanbeahelpfultoolforthetemperamentallyshyaswell.AccordingtopsychologistJonathanCheek,authorofConqueringShyness:

APersonalizedApproach,two-thirdsofshypeoplecanidentifyspecificeventsintheirlivesthatcontributedtotheirshyness.Oncethecausesareidentified,saysCheek,“youcandealwiththeminaconstructiveway.”

2.Createa“character”－anunshyversionofyourself－andrehearseyourownscenes.Zimbardotellsthestoryofa50-year-oldwomanwhofoundactingtobeasolutiontohershyness.“IdiscoveredthatmyembarrassmentvanishedwhenIassumedaroleinaplay,”shewrotehim.“Itwasn'tmeonthestage.Itwasacharacter.”

Thisdivisionoftheselfinto“therealyouandtheroleyou,”saysZimbardo,isalsocommonamong“shyextroverts”－peoplewhoappearoutgoinginpublicyetareshyinprivate.“Approximately15percentofthosewhoareshyfitthisdescription.”

Manypopularentertainers,includingAmericanTVshowhostsJohnnyCarsonandDavidLetterman,areshybutfeelmoreateasewhenthey'reonstageoroncamera,Zimbardosays.Suchsuccessesarewhysomeshypeoplegetinvolvedincommunitytheater,debatingsocietiesorToastmasters.Duringtheseactivitiestheycantemporarily“be”theunshyperson.

CynthiaFinch,directoroftheReticenceProgramataPennsylvaniauniversity,helpedashystudentpreparetotellhisfatherthathewasleavingtheschool'sReserveOfficers'TrainingCorpsprogram.“Hewrotea‘script'oftheconversationhewasfearfulof,includingwhathewantedtosay,whathisfathermightsay,andhowtoanswer,”Finchsays.Afterward,sheadds,theyoungmanwaslesshesitanttotalktohisfatheraboutothersubjectsthatwereimportanttohim.

Scriptingcanbeusedwithrole-playingtorehearseforanysceneinyourlife,whetherit'saskingyourbossforaraiseormeetingyourchild'steacher.Whenyourehearsetheseencounters,you'vepreparedwhatyou'regoingtosay,andyouwillbemoreconfidentgoingintotheconversation.

“Shypeopleareoftentooconcernedwithwhetherornottheiractionsreflecttheirrealselves,”Zimbardoexplains.“Likeanactor,youmustlearntodissolvetheboundarybetweentheso-calledrealyouandtheroleyouplay.Letyouractionsspeakforthemselvesandeventuallythey'llbespeakingforyou.”

3.Doyourhomework.BernardoCarduccicallsthistechnique“socialreconnaissance.”“Ifyou'regoingtoaparty,”hesuggests,“findoutwhowillbethere,whattheydo,whattheirinterestsare.”Ifyou'remakingabusinesspresentationtopeopleyouhaven'tmet,findoutsomethingabouttheirbackgrounds.“You'llfeelmoreincontrolwhenitcomestimetomakeconversation,”headds.

Anothertypeofhomework:

lookforagroupthatsharessomeinterestofyours.MarjorieCoburn,directorofaphobiaandanxietytreatmentcenterinCalifornia,helpedthe43-year-oldwomanwhowasuncomfortableaboutstrangers.Coburnlearnedthatthewomanhadalwayswantedtolearntoquilt.SoatCoburn'ssuggestion,thewomansignedupforaquiltingclass.There,shewasabletotalkwithothersaboutsomethingshewasinterestedin,eventhoughthesepeoplewerestrangers.Herin-classconversationsledtosomefriendshipsandsocializingoutsideclass.“Forthefirsttime,”Coburnsays,“sheactuallyenjoyedbeingwithpeople.Moreover,shebecamelessshyinothersituations.”

4.Changeyourbodylanguage.“Shypeoplesendoutsignalsofcoolnessorwithdrawal,oftenwithoutrealizingit,”sayspsychologistArthurWassmer,authorofMakingContact:

AGuidetoOvercomingShyness.“Whatthey'reconstantlytelegraphingis:

‘I'mscared,I'mafraid,I'mintimidated.'“Unfortunately,otherpeopledon'tgetthosemessages.Theyinterpretthisbodylanguageasaloofnessorconceitandstayaway,makingtheshypersonfeelevenmoreinsecure.

“Ofallthetechniques,”Wassmeradds,“simplechangesinbodylanguagearethemostsurprisingintermsofimmediateresults.Patientswouldsaytome,‘IhadmoreconversationswithpeopleinthelastweekthanIhadinthelastyear!

'”

Wassmerusesaone-wordremindertolistallthebody-languagesignalsthatprojectwarmthandlikability:

SOFTEN.“S”standsfor“smile,”“O”for“openposture”（legsandarmsuncrossed）,“F”for“forwardlean,”“T“for“touch”orfriendlyphysicalcontact（shakinghands,forexample）,“E”for“eyecontact”and“N”for“nod”（affirmingyou'relisteningandunderstanding）.“Bysofteningtheimageyousendouttotheworld,you'llearnthefriendlinessandpositiveresponsesthatmakestrangersseemlessintimidating,”Wassmerclaims.

Shypeoplefindconversationdifficult;theyhardlyeverspeakupbecausethey'retoobusyworryingabouttheimpressionthey'remaking.Researchershavefoundthattokeepaconversationmovingalong,unshypeopleinstinctivelyuseconversationalfeedbacksuchas“Yes,Iagree”or“Howinteresting.”

Whenconversationlags,askopen-endedquestionssuchas“Howdidyougetintoyourlineofwork?

”“Open-endedquestionsareasignalthatyou'refriendly,”saysJonathanBerent,apsychotherapistandauthorofBeyondShyness:

HowtoConquerSocialAnxieties.“Suchquestionsalsokeepthefocusontheotherperson－notyou.”

5.Letothersinonyoursecret.ChristopherMcCulloughoncecounseledamanwholikedhisjobbutdreadedmonthlymeetingsinwhichhehadtoparticipate.Hewasafraidhe'dsaysomethingstupidorevenpanicandrunoutoftheroom－andlosehisjobifhedid.Finallyheconfidedhisfearstohisboss,whotoldhimthathecouldleavetheroomifheneededto,thathisjobwasnotatrisk.“Eventuallythiscalmedtheworkerdown,”McCulloughsays,“andhewasabletogetthroughmeetingsandevenparticipate.”

Amajorcomplaintofshypeopleisthattheirfamilies,friendsandevendoctorsdon'ttaketheirproblemseriously.MarjorieCoburnadvisesashypersontofind“safepeople”whoaccepttheirshyness－notthosewhotellthemtocomeoutoftheirshell.“Youwantpeoplewho'lllistentoyourfearswithoutmakingjudgments,”sheemphasizes.

6.Envisiontheworst-casescenario.Dr.PaulBohn,formerdirectoroftheSocialandPerformanceAnxietyClinicattheUniversityofCalifornia,LosAngeles,askspatientstodiscusstheirgreatestfearsinfrontoffellowshyness-sufferers.Forinstance,ifsomeoneisafraidofgivingaspeech,hemightbeaskedbythegroup:

What'stheevidenceforyourfear?

“PeoplelaughedatmewhenIwasakid.”What'stheevidenceagainstit?

“Noonehaslaughedatmeforyears.”What'stheworstthatcouldhappen?

“They'lllaughatme!

”Andwhat'llhappenthen?

“EitherI'lllaughwiththem,orI'llnevercomebacktospeaktothegroupagain.”Soeventheworst-casescenarioishardlythecatastrophethatthepersonhadimagined.