Seven Ways to Beat Shyness 泛读课文翻译.docx

1、Seven Ways to Beat Shyness 泛读课文翻译参考译文1. 课文一2. 课文二Text 1 Seven Ways to Beat Shyness by Carolyn Kitch Shyness has long been a great concern for many people. What to do about shyness? The article below provides us with ways to overcome shyness. Read it and see whether these ways are effective. The 43-y

2、ear-old woman lived in constant fear of strangers, whether at parties with her husband or at school functions1 with her three children. “I endured these events,” she says, “by keeping as quiet as possible, not looking any one just in the eye, and just waiting for the hour when I could go home. I fel

3、t others saw how uncomfortable I was.” Today this woman has learned to overcome her shyness, using techniques found to be successful in countless cases. She has a circle of friends and she participates in activities at her kids school. And she now realizes that she wasnt alone in her problem. Often

4、mistakenly regarded as a childhood stage that people outgrow, shyness is surprisingly widespread. Philip Zimbardo, a Stanford University psychologist, co-director of the Shyness Institute and author of Shyness: What It Is, What to Do About It, surveyed more than 10 000 people during the 1970s and 80

5、s and found that approximately 40 percent of this sample described themselves as shy. Another study of 1 600 people, conducted by psychologist Bernardo Carducci, places the figure at 48 percent. According to Zimbardo, an additional 15 percent are “situationally shy, experiencing shyness in certain s

6、tressful circumstances, such as speaking in public.” The research indicates that males and females are equally shy. There may be no “cures” for shyness. However, research is uncovering ways shy people can overcome their problem so it doesnt take such a toll2 on their happiness. Heres the best of the

7、 experts advice: 1. Use a journal to get to the root of your fears. “A written record is a cheap, effective therapist,” says psychotherapist Christopher McCullough, author of Always at Ease: Overcoming Anxiety and Shyness in Every Situation. “We know more about ourselves than we think we know, and i

8、ts often surprising what comes out when we write down our thoughts and fears.” One of McCulloughs former patients, a single woman in her mid-30s, suffered severe shyness about dating. “She wrote down everything that happened surrounding a date: getting the phone call, making arrangements to go out,

9、what was said during the date, what was said about future plans,” McCullough says, “as well as what she was thinking while all this was going on.” The woman noticed a recurrent theme. “She was afraid that a man might like her, but she might not like him and then she wouldnt know how to get out of th

10、e relationship.” McCullough explains that they talked about things she could say to men she didnt want to see any more. “Once she had those tools, dating became much less stressful.” Though the woman was situationally shy only one aspect of her life, dating, was problematic a journal can be a helpfu

11、l tool for the temperamentally shy as well. According to psychologist Jonathan Cheek, author of Conquering Shyness: A Personalized Approach, two-thirds of shy people can identify specific events in their lives that contributed to their shyness. Once the causes are identified, says Cheek, “you can de

12、al with them in a constructive way.” 2. Create a “character” an unshy version of yourself and rehearse your own scenes. Zimbardo tells the story of a 50-year-old woman who found acting to be a solution to her shyness. “I discovered that my embarrassment vanished when I assumed a role in a play,” she

13、 wrote him. “It wasnt me on the stage. It was a character.” This division of the self into “the real you and the role you,” says Zimbardo, is also common among “shy extroverts” people who appear outgoing in public yet are shy in private. “Approximately 15 percent of those who are shy fit this descri

14、ption.” Many popular entertainers, including American TV show hosts Johnny Carson and David Letterman, are shy but feel more at ease when theyre on stage or on camera, Zimbardo says. Such successes are why some shy people get involved in community theater, debating societies or Toastmasters. During

15、these activities they can temporarily “be” the unshy person. Cynthia Finch, director of the Reticence Program at a Pennsylvania university, helped a shy student prepare to tell his father that he was leaving the schools Reserve Officers Training Corps program. “He wrote a script of the conversation

16、he was fearful of, including what he wanted to say, what his father might say, and how to answer,” Finch says. Afterward, she adds, the young man was less hesitant to talk to his father about other subjects that were important to him. Scripting can be used with role-playing to rehearse for any scene

17、 in your life, whether its asking your boss for a raise or meeting your childs teacher. When you rehearse these encounters, youve prepared what youre going to say, and you will be more confident going into the conversation. “Shy people are often too concerned with whether or not their actions reflec

18、t their real selves,” Zimbardo explains. “Like an actor, you must learn to dissolve the boundary between the so-called real you and the role you play. Let your actions speak for themselves and eventually theyll be speaking for you.” 3. Do your homework. Bernardo Carducci calls this technique “social

19、 reconnaissance.” “If youre going to a party,” he suggests, “find out who will be there, what they do, what their interests are.” If youre making a business presentation to people you havent met, find out something about their backgrounds. “Youll feel more in control when it comes time to make conve

20、rsation,” he adds. Another type of homework: look for a group that shares some interest of yours. Marjorie Coburn, director of a phobia and anxiety treatment center in California, helped the 43-year-old woman who was uncomfortable about strangers. Coburn learned that the woman had always wanted to l

21、earn to quilt. So at Coburns suggestion, the woman signed up for a quilting class. There, she was able to talk with others about something she was interested in, even though these people were strangers. Her in-class conversations led to some friendships and socializing outside class. “For the first

22、time,” Coburn says, “she actually enjoyed being with people. Moreover, she became less shy in other situations.” 4. Change your body language. “Shy people send out signals of coolness or withdrawal, often without realizing it,” says psychologist Arthur Wassmer, author of Making Contact: A Guide to O

23、vercoming Shyness. “What theyre constantly telegraphing is: Im scared, Im afraid, Im intimidated. “Unfortunately, other people dont get those messages. They interpret this body language as aloofness or conceit and stay away, making the shy person feel even more insecure. “Of all the techniques,” Was

24、smer adds, “simple changes in body language are the most surprising in terms of immediate results. Patients would say to me, I had more conversations with people in the last week than I had in the last year!” Wassmer uses a one-word reminder to list all the body-language signals that project warmth

25、and likability: SOFTEN. “S” stands for “smile,” “O” for “open posture” (legs and arms uncrossed), “F” for “forward lean,” “T “ for “touch” or friendly physical contact (shaking hands, for example), “E” for “eye contact” and “N” for “nod” (affirming youre listening and understanding). “By softening t

26、he image you send out to the world, youll earn the friendliness and positive responses that make strangers seem less intimidating,” Wassmer claims. Shy people find conversation difficult; they hardly ever speak up because theyre too busy worrying about the impression theyre making. Researchers have

27、found that to keep a conversation moving along, unshy people instinctively use conversational feedback such as “Yes, I agree” or “How interesting.” When conversation lags, ask open-ended questions such as “How did you get into your line of work?” “Open-ended questions are a signal that youre friendl

28、y,” says Jonathan Berent, a psychotherapist and author of Beyond Shyness: How to Conquer Social Anxieties. “Such questions also keep the focus on the other person not you.” 5. Let others in on your secret. Christopher McCullough once counseled a man who liked his job but dreaded monthly meetings in

29、which he had to participate. He was afraid hed say something stupid or even panic and run out of the room and lose his job if he did. Finally he confided his fears to his boss, who told him that he could leave the room if he needed to, that his job was not at risk. “Eventually this calmed the worker

30、 down,” McCullough says, “and he was able to get through meetings and even participate.” A major complaint of shy people is that their families, friends and even doctors dont take their problem seriously. Marjorie Coburn advises a shy person to find “safe people” who accept their shyness not those w

31、ho tell them to come out of their shell. “You want people wholl listen to your fears without making judgments,” she emphasizes. 6. Envision the worst-case scenario. Dr. Paul Bohn, former director of the Social and Performance Anxiety Clinic at the University of California, Los Angeles, asks patients

32、 to discuss their greatest fears in front of fellow shyness-sufferers. For instance, if someone is afraid of giving a speech, he might be asked by the group: Whats the evidence for your fear? “People laughed at me when I was a kid.” Whats the evidence against it? “No one has laughed at me for years.” Whats the worst that could happen? “Theyll laugh at me!” And whatll happen then? “Either Ill laugh with them, or Ill never come back to speak to the group again.” So even the worst-case scenario is hardly the catastrophe that the person had imagined.