South Park706文档格式.docx

South Park706文档格式.docx

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Stan:

Allright,sir,well,pleasecallusifyouneedanything.[offersupabusinesscard]

I'

lldothat.Havefun,boys.[stepsbackandclosesthedoor.Theboysturnandwalkaway]

Stupidassholes!

[turnsandfollows]Howcomenobodyhasacrimetosolve?

Yeah,maybestartingadetectiveclubisn'

tsuchabrightidea.

It'

sagreatidea,wejusthavetokeepworkingatit.[momentslatertheyreachapinkhouseandStanknocksagain.Thedooropensandanelderlywomanlooksout]

OldWoman:

Oh,hellothereboys.

Hello,ma'

am,we'

redetectiveswiththeSouthParkCrimeUnit.Doyouhaveanycrimesyouneedtobesolved,foradollar?

Ohh,neighborhooddetectives,huh?

Wellletmethi-ohyes!

Thereissomething!

Really?

Yes.TwodaysagoIputafreshbakedcherrypieoutonmywindowsilltocool.[StanandKylelookoveratthewindow]Andlater,whenIwenttogetit,itwasgone.

MyGod...

Haveyoureportedthistoanyotherauthorities?

Noo,butIthinkit'

saperfectcaseforyoukids.

Cool!

We'

llseewhatwecanfind,ma'

am.

We'

reonthecase.

[Theoldwoman'

shouse,backyard.]

Whathaveyougot,Marsh?

DetectiveMcCormickfoundsomethinginteresting.[ashotofKenny,whojustraiseshisarmandpointtohisright.ThecamerapanstoDuke,thehousepet,lickingoffthelastofthepie]

[putsahandonKyle,looksawayandcloseshiseyes]Jesus,we'

retoolate.

Ithinkwecanpiecethiscasetogethernow.

shouse,livingroom.Sheandherhusbandsitbackinarmchairslookingatnews.Thedooropensandtheboysrushinwiththepietin]

Mypietin!

Oooh,butwhathappenedtothepie?

Well,we'

vealltalkeditthroughandwe'

vecomeupwithatheory.

OldMan:

Well,whatdoyouthnkhappened,littledetectives?

Yousaidyousetthepieinthewindowsill,whereitmusthavesatforsometime.[thescenarioshowstheoldwomansettingthepieonthesill,closingthewindowsandwalkingaway]Butitssweetsmellattractedtheattentionofsomebody.[theoldmanshowsupatthekitchenwindow,lookingatthepiefrominsidethekitchen]

Yourhusband.[helookscloseratit,puttinghishandsonthewindow]Hewantedthatpiebadly,butheknewthathewasnotallowedtoeatityet.

Slowlytheragebuiltinsidehismind.[theoldmanisshowninbed,gettingangry.Dramaticlightingenhancesthemood]"

Whywon'

tsheletmeeatthatpie?

WhydoesshealwaysstopmefromdoingwhatIwannado?

!

"

Hisonlysolutionbecameobvious:

Killher!

Hisplanwastouseahammer.

Bash,bash,BASHyourskullin,causinginstantdeath.[thescenarioshowstheoldmanwalkingupbehindhiswifeassheduststheTVandwhackingherthreetimes,killingherandfracturingherskull]

Thentomakeitimpossibleforpolicetoidentifythebody,he'

duseashoveltoremoveyourhead.[themanplungestheshovelthroughthewoman'

sneckandcleavestheheadfromthebody.Bloodpoursoutandstainsthecarpet]

Thensawoffthearmsandlegs.[showninallitsgraphicglory]

Thetorsohewoulddumpintothelake.[theoldmantosseshiswife'

storsooverthesideofhisboat,thenwatchesasthetorsoheadsforthelakebottom]

Thearmsandlegshewoulddissolvewithacidandlyeinthebathtub.[themanisshowntossingthesecondlegintothetub,thenstirringthesolutionsothatthelegwouldsinkinanddisappear]

Andthen,finally,he'

dbeabletoeatthatpie.

Butbeforehecouldgothroughwiththisentireplan,hediscoveredthatthepiehadalreadybeeneaten...[anewscenario:

themannowhasthehammer,butthepieisgonewhenhechecksuponit]...byyourdog.[ashotofDukeeatingthepieinhisdoghouse]

Lookslikethegameisover,oldman!

[thesurprisedcouplelooksatthem]

OhmyGod,whatkindoftelevisionhaveyoukidsbeenwatching?

?

Justthenews.

Allright,allright,youyouboysrunalongnow.

[staysbehind]Hey,youoweusadollar,lady.

Fine,here,justgo!

[giveshimthedollar,andhejoinstheothersoutside]

Wow,look,youguys!

Ourfirstdollar!

[showsoffacrispnewone-dollarbill]

reinbusiness!

[Abasement,sometimelater.Thedollarbillisnewlyframedandhungonawallin...Cartman'

sbasement,whichisnowtheSouthParkDetectivesheadquarters.Picturesofsuspectsareonthewallbelowtheframeddollar,achalkboardhassomeinstructionslisted,andsomesuspectsalreadyinterviewedarelistedonthewallbeneaththestairs.Kyleputsafileawayinafilingcabinetastheotherboysdoothertasks.]

Kenny,yougotthef-a-gonthatperpinWashington

Liane:

Boys,youhavealittlevisitor.[alittlegirldescendsthestairspastLiane]

Girl:

IsthistheSouthParkCrimeUnit?

TheBoys:

Ah!

Oh.[theyjumpupandleavetheirtaskstomeettheirfirstclient]

Yesitis!

Ilostmydollie.

[wavinghismomoff]Thankyou,Ms.Secretary,thatwillbeall.[Lianegoesupstairs.Cartmanlooksup]Andgetsomemorecookiesandcoffee!

renotpayingyoutositonyourass!

Doyoukowwhereyourdollis?

IfIknewwhereitwas,itwouldn'

tbelost.

Allright,Sarah,comeoverhere.[everyonemovesovertoKenny'

sdesk.Sarahhopsuponthewitnesschair]Now,Iwantyoutodescribewhatthedolllooksliketooursketchartist,Kenny.

Sarah:

[Kennybeginstodrawasshetalks]Shehascurlyblondehair.Andareddress.Andaturned-upnose.Andabluebowinherhair.

Yougotit,Ken?

[Kennyfinishesandnods]

Allright,let'

ssee.[Kennyturnsthepaperaroundandshowsoffawomanwithhugsolive-shapedboobs]DamnitKenny,that'

snotwhatshesaid!

Putthataway,dude!

[KennywalksuptoasmallbulletinboardofKeNnY'

SmOSTWANtEDwomen,allofwhichhavelargeboobs]

Don'

tworry,ma'

am.We'

llfindyourdoll.

[Sarah'

shouse,day.Theboysswarmintothegirl'

sbedroomandcheckoutallthepossibilities.]

Nosignofforcedentry.

[atthewindow]Butthewindowisn'

tlocked.

[turnstoaddressCartman]Right,soit'

spossiblethatthetheifsatoutinthattree.[thescenariobegins.Aviewintothebedroomfromthetreeatnight]HewouldhavewatchedSarahwiththedoll,possiblywhilecuttingthepalmsofhishandswithalargeknife.[ahandappears,thentheoppositehandwithaknife.TheknifecutsthefirsthandasSarahdropsherdollonthebedroomfloor]Thepaingavehimsickpleasure.

Disposingofthedollwouldn'

tbeeasy.Hewouldhavehadtohavebroughashoveltodecapitateit.

regoingtoneedsemensamplesfromeverythinginthisroom.[astheypause,anothergroupofboysswarminandstarttheirowninvestigation]

ABoy:

sdothisbythebooks!

McDonnell,[oneboystepsforward]givemesmearsofalltheplacesthedollusedtobe!

[goesofftogetsamples]Mitchell,[anotherboystepsforward]runataponthephone!

[goesofftotapthephone]

[approachestheboy]Hey,kid,whatareyoudoing?

TheBoy:

AgentTucker,FBI!

Andyou?

DetectiveMarsh.I'

minchargeofthisinvestigation!

Tucker:

...Notanymore,you'

renot!

Hey,thisisourcase!

Youcan'

tcomeinandtakeover!

Can'

twe?

YouguysareplayingDetective.We'

replayingFBI.Thatgivesusjurisdictionoveryou!

Awcrap!

Iwantchoppersontheroofreadytogo!

[oneofhisfriendsgoestothewindow,theothertwoheadoutoftheroom]

Dude,we'

vebeenworkingthiscasesincetwo-thirty!

Good.Thenyoucanhelpusbytellingmeeverythingyouknow.

shouse,afternoon,outside.TheboyshavebeenkickedoutbytheFBIboysandheadforthesidewalk]

SonofabitchstupidFBI!

Well,Iguesswecangobacktoplayinglaundromat.

No!

renotgonnastopplayingdetectives!

vejustgottafindthatdollbeforethosFBIguysdo.

Kenny:

（Yeah!

）

Yeah,buthow?

regonnahavetojuststartbringinginpeopleforquestioning.

Right.IthinkIknowexactlywheretostart.

[Cartman'

sbasement,later.TheboyshavecalledButtersinandhe'

sconfused,beingunderthespotlight]

[thinkshardofhowtostarttheinterrogation]Wherewereyouthismorningatnineo'

clock,Butters?

Butters:

Ah,Iwasathome.

YourstoryisfullofholesandI'

mgonnabeatyourassifyoudon'

tstarttellin'

thetruth!

[behindhim,StanandKylewatchfromamakeshiftbooth]

（Awww,don'

tbesohard.Maybehe'

stellin'

thetruth,huh?

）[Butterssmiles]

[behindthebooth]They'

vegottenreallygoodatthisgoodcop-badcopthing.

You'

regoingdown,Butters!

Youhearme?

（Aw.Nowjustbenice.Poorlilthing.）

reworthatwo-dollarcriminalandyou'

relying!

（Aw,please