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-这位是-德希蕾-Thisis-Desiree.
-德希蕾对抱歉-你好啊-Desiree,right.Sorry.-Oh,hi.
-德希蕾刚搬过来-赞啊哪户-Desireejustmovedindowntheblock.-Fun.Where?
-314-是嘛-314.-Oh!
就那栋双卧室别墅室内外兼配家庭活动室Thetwo-bedroomcottagewiththeindoor-outdoorfamilyroom.
真厉害你怎么Verygood.Howdidyou-
你肯定很喜欢那个蒸气浴Betyou'
relovin'
thatsteamshower.
菲尔别吓到人家Phil,that'
screepy.
哦抱歉我是我是个房产大亨0h,sorry.I'
ma-I'
marealestatemogul.
什么!
不我是个房产中介"
What?
"
No,I'
ma-Iamarealestateagent.
我们展览过那个房子装饰很好Wecaravannedthathouse.Great,uh,deck.
谢谢我离婚手续办好就搬走了Thanks.I'
mjusttheretillmydivorceisfinal.
怎么会谁傻到想要跟你离婚No,whoiscoconutsenoughtodivorceyou?
我们该走了再见了Wegottago,butwe'
llseeyouaround.
有时间请你过来玩We'
llhavetohaveyouoversometime.
-我很愿意-好啊-I'
dloveit.-Allright.
-拜拜-拜拜-Bye.-Bye.
-她真不错-滚我们不可能请她做客-She'
sawesome.-No,weareneverhavingherover.
听说她已经勾引过两个孩子的爸爸了Heardshealreadysleptwithtwodadsfromtheschool.
-什么-就是-What?
-Mm-hmm.
品行不端啊That'
shorrible.
-爸爸小心-小心点呀伙计-Dad,watchout!
-Whoa!
Watchit,buddy!
-老太太-抱歉-Grandma.-I'
msorry.
那车看起来还是像个女孩车Thatstilllookslikeagirl'
sbike.
我们再绑点黑胶带We'
lladdmoreblacktape.
我儿子一直在骑他姐姐的旧车Mysonhasbeenridinghissister'
soldbike.
他现在还没能力照料好一辆新车Untilhe'
sresponsibleenoughtotakecareofhisownbike.
他把一瓶苏打水倒在我的电脑上Look,hespilledasodaonmycomputer,
他还把家里的数码相机弄坏了heruinedourdigitalcamera
就因为他要给自己拍水下相片takingpicturesofhimselfunderwater.
那是辆女车我也想给他些教训It'
sagirl'
sbike.I'
mallforteachinghimalesson.
可我担心大嘴巴的小混混们因此嘲笑他ButIworryabouttheridiculehemightgetfromsomeloudmouthbully.
嘿嘿嘿车很漂亮啊小姑娘Hey,hey,hey.Nicebike,Sally.
老爸Dad!
拜托他骑女式车像洋娃娃一样Comeon.HelookslikeLittleBoPeeponthatthing.
不会再这样了他下午就会有辆新车Actually,notforlong.He'
sgettinganewbikethisafternoon.
-真的吗-没错-Iam?
是吗Heis?
有时候做男人就应该一往无前Sometimesaman'
sgottaputhisfootdown
勇敢踏出自己的脚步anddowhataman'
sgottado.
如果那个死老太婆不满意Andiftheoldladydon'
tlikeit-
亲爱的Honey?
让她自己气死算了That'
stoodamnbad.
没错激不激动Yes.Who'
sexcited,huh?
小卡快点要迟到了Cam,comeon.Hurryup.We'
regonnabelate.
只是亲子课而已又不是要飞到卡波去It'
satoddlerplayclass,notaflighttoCabo.
作为唯一的同性恋夫夫我们已经赚够口水了We'
regonnabejudgedenoughastheonlygayparentsthere.
我不想再给人迟到的坏印象Idon'
twannabethelateonestoo.
天呐又是旋花呢又是粉色Wow!
Paisleyandpink.
网眼套头衫为什么不穿了Wastheresomethingwrongwiththefishnettanktop?
穿啊穿在里面了Obviouslynot.I'
mwearingitunderneath.
开玩笑的放松给你Kidding.Justchill,please.Here.
抱歉我只是想留下良好的第一印象I'
msorry.Ijustwannamakeagoodfirstimpression.
你是想既融入大家又不吓到他们吗Youwannafitinandnotterrifythevillagers?
嘿别闹了Hey,comeon.
今天莉莉才是主角好不好TodayisaboutLily,allright?
那个班上可能就有她以后最要好的朋友Herfuturebestfriendmightbeinthatclass,
我可不想一开始就惹谁不高兴andIdon'
twannarubanyonethewrongway.
能换件衬衫吗Canyoupleasejustchangeyourshirt?
好吧你猜怎么着Fine.Youknowwhat?
我这就去换上一条卡其布裤子I'
lljustgoputonapairofkhakis,
高尔夫衬衫让每个人都以为maybeapoloshirt,andeverybodywillthink
我们只是一对直男高尔夫球友we'
reacouplestraightgolfin'
buddies...
碰巧决定一起养个娃whojustdecidedtohaveakidtogether.
我给纳巴那边打电话了Hey,IcalledthatplaceinNapaand
把房间升级成带温泉浴缸的套房gotusupgradedtoavillawithahottub.
所以准备点泡温泉的衣服吧Sopackwhateveryouwearinahottub.
我通常泡温泉都不穿衣服的IusuallywearnothingwhenI'
minahottub.
那我同事的老婆就得做个屁股整形了Andmycollegeroommate'
swifejusthadtogetanewhip.
弱死了Sucker.
曼尼的爸爸带他去迪斯尼玩了Manny'
sfatheristakinghimforacoupleofdaystoDisneyland,
所以我们就脱身去葡萄酒园sowe'
regonnagotothewinecountry.
去喝点小酒吃些美食We'
regonnadrinksomewine,eatsomegoodfood.
原本我们可以经常组织此类小资活动Youknow,wewoulddosomethinglikethis
但是因为曼尼就少了很多alotmoreoftenifitwasn'
tfor,youknow,Manny.
-他很好他让我们过着朴实的生活-是啊-He'
sgood.Hekeepusgrounded.-Yeah.
就像机场起雾飞机停飞Likefogatanairport.
豪华轿车4点到Limogetshereat4:
00.
早上嘛我想去俱乐部打会球Thismorning,IthoughtI'
dgototheclub,hitafewballs.
不行曼尼房间的风扇怎么办No!
WhataboutthefaninManny'
sroom?
那个叫个人修吧0h,yeah.Callaguy.
不行你该跟他一起修No!
You'
resupposedtodoitwithhim.
我们得学着教他做些事情It'
simportantthatweteachhimhowtodothingsforhimself.
在我的家乡男人以干体力活为荣Inmyculture,mentakegreatprideindoingphysicallabor.
我知道所以我才雇你们那儿的人给我干活Iknow.That'
swhyIhirepeoplefromyourculture.
你真搞笑呀You'
retoofunny.
我跟我下个老公狂花你的钱的时候I'
mgonnasharethatonewithmynexthusband
我就给他讲这个笑话whenwe'
respendingallyourmoney.
-爸爸这是全世界最酷的车-必须的-Dad,thisisthecoolestbikeever.-Awesome.
听着伙计So,listen,buddy.
家里有些人Certainmembersofthisfamily
认为你照料不好这辆车don'
tthinkyoucantakecareofthisbadboy.
-你是说妈妈吗-你说的我可没说-YoumeanMom?
-Yourwords,notmine.
你妈妈和我是一个整体Look,uh,yourmomandIareateam,
而她我们觉得这是个好机会andshe-wefeellikethisisachance
让你学会负起责任foryoutoshowsomeresponsibility.
别让我们失望Don'
tmakeuslooklikejerkshere.
-不会的-很好-Iwon'
t.-Okay.
-最后一点要求-什么-Onemorerule.-What?
给我玩得超级无敌开心Have,like,threebutt-loadsoffun.
谢谢爸爸Thanks,Dad.
-我们开始吧-先说好3点前要弄完-Solet'
sdothis.-0kay,butIneedtobedoneby3:
我爸爸3点来接我That'
swhenmydad'
spickingmeup.
如果3点还搞不定Hey,ifwe'
renotdoneby3:
00,
我就直接吊死I'
mgonnatieanooseonthisthing.
在哥伦比亚有句谚语InColombiathere'
sasaying:
如果两头犟驴合不来"
Ifyouhavetwostubbornburrosthatdon'
tlikeeachother,
就把它们绑在一辆车上"
youtiethemtothesamecart."
吊扇就是那辆车Theceilingfanisthecart.
我爸爸要带我去玩太空过山车Mydad'
stakingmeonSpaceMountain.
那东西超快不过我爸爸什么都不怕It'
ssupposedtobereallyfast,buthe'
snotscaredofanything.
他玩的时候甚至都不系安全带Hedoesn'
tevenwearaseatbeltwhenhedrives.
哇噢也太厉害了吧Wow.How'
boutthat?
-他还杀过熊-真的假的-Killedabearonce.-Really?
熊也坐在过山车上吗Wasthebearsittin'
inthepassengerseat?
给我念下说明书Readmetheinstructions.
安全须知警告:
为避免遭受电击"
"
Safetytips.Warning:
Toreducetheriskofelectricalshock"
-
跳过那段废话吧Wecanskipthat.
若不听从警告Uh,"
Failuretoheedthesewarnings
可导致重伤甚至死亡"
canleadtoseriousinjuryordeath."
你总是瞎担心你自己知道Youknow,youworrytoomuch.Youknowthat.
不会有人被电到的Nobody'
sgonnagetshocked.
有一次我爸爸被雷劈了Onetimemydadwasstruckbylightning.
所以他现在喝多少酒都不醉That'
swhyhecandrinkasmuchashewants.
曼尼觉得他爸爸是个超人MannythinkshisdadislikeSuperman.
可真相呢他根本不值一提Thetruth?
He'
satotalflake.
事实上他唯一像超人的方面Infact,theonlywayhe'
slikeSuperman...
就是他们都是非法移民isthattheybothlandedinthiscountryillegally.
我怎么这么紧张呀Ican'
tbelieveI'
msonervous.
他们会喜欢我们的我们就表现真我就行了They'
regonnaloveus.Let'
sjustbeourselves.
或者稍微低调一些0raslightlytoned-downversionofourselves.
我只是不想这又变成"
小卡秀"
Ijustdon'
twantthistobecomeanepisodeof"
TheCamShow."
-天呐大家都喜欢"
-我知道-0h,mygosh.Peoplelove"
-Yes,Iknow.
-你也看"
-我确实看-Youwatch"
-Idowatchit.
-是提前预约才能看到-好吧-It'
sappointmentviewing.-Okay.
-你好-你们好是参加亲子课的吗-Hi!
-Hi!
AreyouhereforToddlerTime?
是的我是米奇尔这是卡梅隆Yes.I-I'
mMitchell.ThisisCameron.
-还有我们的女儿莉莉-你好-AndthishereisLily.-Hello.
真好欢迎呀0h,well!
Welcome.
我们在这儿轮流吹气球呢We'
realloverheretakingturnsblowingbubbles.
多好玩啊对小孩子而言Well,hownicefor...thebabies.
是啊Mm-hmm.
恐怕我会招架不住啊Thisisgonnabereallydifficult.
才跟我保证过了不到10分钟Tenminutesaftermakingapromisetome,
他就把车不上锁扔在这里heleaveshisbikeunlocked.
我现在满脑子都是克莱尔的河东狮吼AllIcanhearisClaire'
svoiceinmyhead-
他不知道负责任"
He'
snotresponsible.
你根本不该给他买车"
Younevershouldhavegivenhimabike."
我知道我模仿克莱尔超像的Iknow.IdoaprettygoodClaire.
所以我决定给他个教训SoIdecidedtoteachhimalesson...
让他以为自己的车被偷了andlethimthinkhisbikewasstolen.
我知道这手段有点恶劣AndIknowthatsoundskindofrough,
但有时候做爹的就要狠一些butsometimesit'
sadad'
sjobtobethetoughguy.
不好意思谢谢Excuseme!
Thankyou.
左边我的左边你右边Onyourleft!
Myleft.Yourright!
大家好今天有个新家庭加入我们Everyone,wehaveanewfamilyjoiningustoday.
大家好我是米奇尔一名律师Hi.I'
m,uh,Mitchell,andIamalawyer.
我是卡梅隆暂时待业I-I'
mCameron,andI'
mcurrentlynotworking,
所以我有很多时间烹饪打篮球还有whichgivesmemoretimetogrillandshootbasketsand-
还有这是莉莉AndthisisLily.
好我们以问候舞作为开场舞Okay,we'
regonnastartwiththeHelloDance,
然后玩积木手指画andthenwe'
regonnamoveontoblocks,thenfingerpainting,
最后跳"
家庭之舞"
andthenwe'
regonnadoourFamilyDance.
好了谁想先开始Allright.Whowantstostartusoff?
P.J小朋友先来Danceusin,P.J.!
-她真可爱-谢谢夸奖-She'
sadorable.-Oh,thankyou.
-7个月大吗-8个月-Sevenmonths?
-Uh,eight.
噢会抓东西了吗会走路了吗0h!
Isshegrabbingorscootingyet?
是的都会呢Yes.Absolutely.
我是说她不是手在乱抓就是脚在乱走Imean,whenshe'
snotgrabbin'
sheis-sheisscootin'
.
泰勒进来跳吧Danceusin,Tyler!
准备好了吗好的来吧Areyouready?
Okay.Herewego.
小卡莉莉还不会抓不会走呢Cam,Lilyisnotgrabbingorscootingyet.
现在还不会以后会的Well,she'
snotdoingityet,butshewilleventually.
不你看那么多小孩No,but,see,alotoftheseotherkids,
他们都在抓东西they'
re-they'
regrabbing.
我只是给拿着I-Ijust-Here.Come-
莉莉你看积木Lily.Lookattheblock,huh?
把积木拿起来莉莉Grabtheblock,Lily.
-抓着H-该你上场了莉莉-Grabthe"
H."
-Dance
升级会员 