好汉两个半第五季Two and a Half Men中英剧本Word格式文档下载.docx
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Whatelsecoulditbe?
既然说的是你的私密部位Well,sincewe'
retalkingaboutyourprivatearea
那就啥都可能埃博拉病毒啊疯牛病啊itcouldanythingfromebolatomadcowdisease.
猴子能传染埃博拉病毒对吧?
Yougetebolafrommonkeys,right?
对Right.
只不过是疹子罢了It'
sjustarash.
学校里有个孩子得了汗屁股猫在他身后跟了一年Akidatschoolgotswampass.Cats
followedhimaroundforayear.
得了还是忘了吧Youknowwhat?
Let'
sjustforgetaboutit.
喔那也得忘的掉Oh,ifonlywecould.
说起学校咱们马上要迎来大日子了Speakingofschool,we'
vegotabigdayaheadofus.
得去买日用品衣服We'
vegottogoshoppingforsupplies,clothes.
话题转移的不错老爸Nicesegue,dad.
话题巴不得想转移呢Well,thesubjectwascryingoutforchange.
不管怎么说你要去新学校了Anyway,you'
restartinganewschool.
需要新东西嘛You'
regonnaneednewstuff.
等等西瓜头升上初中了?
Waitasec.Melonheadmadeitintojuniorhigh?
对Yes.
暑期学校考试合格了?
Soyoupassedsummerschool?
差不多吧Sortof.
什么叫"
差不多"
?
Whatdoyoumean,"
sortof"
他们说要是我继续读初中对大家都有好处Theysaiditwasineveryone'
sbestinterestifI
movedon.
那算什么意思?
sthatsupposedtomean?
他们提拔他呀Itmeanstheypromotedhim.
他就要上初中了问啥都没有意义He'
sstartingjuniorhigh,andthere'
sabsolutelynothingto
begainedinaskinghoworwhy.
行管它呢真为你骄傲小子Okay,well,whatever.I'
mproudofyou,man.
骄傲啥?
Forwhat?
我也不知道一直撑到大伙儿都讨厌你Idon'
tknow.Hanginginthereuntiltheyweresickof
you.
谢了Thanks.
嗯...初中哈?
So...juniorhigh,huh?
倒是有很多美好回忆啊对吧艾伦?
Boy,thatbringsbacksomememories,doesn'
tit,alan?
拜托能别往下说了吗?
Canwepleasenotgodownthatroad?
到底是什么事儿?
Whathappened?
只不过是...It'
sjustthat...
中学里的孩子喜欢批评人kidsinjuniorhighcanbealittlejudgmental.
尤其是被搞大肚子以后Especiallyifyou'
reknockedup.
谢谢噢贝塔Thankyou,berta.
当然了从好的方面来看Ofcourse,ontheupside
大肚子的妞儿就用不着上体育课了pregnantchicksdidn'
thavetogotogym.
就不体谅体谅搞大她们肚子的家伙?
Didtheguyswhogot'
empregnantgotany
considerations?
不行想也别想No,notevenahallpass.
咱们到底说完没有?
Arewequitedone?
你会明白的事情会一切顺利只需要记住几件事儿You'
llsee.Thingswillgogreatforyou.You
justhavetorememberafewthings.
比如?
Likewhat?
嗯Well...
把午餐钱藏在鞋子里但口袋里也得放几个子儿alwayskeepyourlunchmoneyinyourshoe
buthavesomesparechangeinyourpocket.
此话怎讲?
当作诱饵嘛Howcome?
Decoymoney.
他们不拿到点什么是不会罢休的Theywon'
tstophittingyoutilltheygetsomething.
"
他们"
是谁?
Whoare"
they"
那些大孩子会拎着你脚踝把你的头摁到厕所里Thebigkidsholdingyoubyyouranklesand
plungingyourheadinthetoilet.
把我的头摁到厕所里?
Plungingyheadinthetoilet?
别别别吓坏孩子了艾伦Don'
t,don'
tfreakthekidout,alan.
不算是摁也就是浸一下It'
snotsomuchplungingasdipping.
你得这么办Here'
swhatyoudo.
跟看门人搞好关系Makefriendswiththejanitor.
他们都有单独卫生间Theyusuallyhavetheirownbathroom.
好吧Okay.
就是千万别喝他水壶里的东西Justneverdrinkoutofhisthermos.
明白Allright.
要是他说他爱你千万别信Anddon'
tbelievehimifhetellsyouhelovesyou.
该死真怀念那个独眼儿杂种Damnit,Imissthatoneeyedsonofabitch.
对了要是上完体育课要洗澡Oh,oh,andifyouhavetoshoweraftergymclass
记住穿着短裤洗也不是那么丢人remember,thereisnoshameinkeepingyourjockeyshorts
on.
真的?
Really?
好吧是有点丢人Okay,there'
salittleshame.
不过关键是大伙儿就不会叫你"
缩小的鸡鸡"
了Buttheimportantthingisthefellowswon'
t
becallingyou"
shrinkydink.
"
Shrinkydink?
不鸣则矣一鸣惊人I'
magrower,notashower.
噢我差点忘了Oh,Ialmostforgot.
我给你买了个小礼物Igotyoualittlepresent.
你的私人手机哦Yourveryowncellphone.
好棒Oh,cool.
重要的是要记住这不是玩具Theimportantthingtorememberisthisisnotatoy.
只能在紧急情况下使用It'
stouseinemergenciesonly.
紧急情况什么紧急情况?
Emergencies?
Whatemergencies?
爸爸快来救我!
Dad,comegetme!
我被关在我的储物柜里了内裤也湿了!
I'
mstuffedinmylockerandmyunderweariswet!
那种情况就发生过一次Thatonlyhappenedonce.
如果不是那些缉毒犬找到了你你就把感恩节错过了Ifthatdrugsniffingdoghadn'
tfoundyou,
you'
dhavemissedthanksgiving.
缉毒犬?
Drugsniffingdog?
没有没有毒品Therewereno,therewerenodrugs.
没错是因为那些狗对尿味也很敏感That'
strue.Turnsoutthosedogsarealsosensitiveto
urine.
我在那里呆了五个小时Iwasinthereforfivehours.
五个小时?
Fivehours?
但你不需要担心这个Butyoudon'
thavetoworryaboutthat.
你有手机Youhaveacellphone.
你应该把手机藏在战俘藏手表的地方Whichyoushouldhidewhereprisonersofwarhidtheir
watches.
在哪里?
还没说完Wherewasthat?
Movingon.
我已经设置好了I'
vepreprogrammedthephone.
快速拨号1是我2是医务室Speeddialoneisme,speeddialtwoisthenurse'
soffice
3则是警察andspeeddialthreeisthepolice.
警察?
要来干嘛?
Thepolice?
Whatfor?
到时你就知道了You'
llknowitwhenithappens.
关于种族骚动Now,aboutraceriots.
要保持中立Trynottotaksiedes.
要是有人问起你就说自己是黑白混血Ifanybodyasks,you'
remulatto.
好汉两个半:
第5季第1集后期:
wqswqswswqs<
fontcolor="
#ffff00"
>
two.and.a.half.men.
Season5Episode01<
/font>
感觉如何?
howdotheyfeel?
还行但好丑像老人鞋Okay,butthey'
reugly.Theylooklikeoldpeopleshoes.
这不是老人鞋是步行鞋They'
renotoldpeopleshoes.They'
rewalkingshoes.
没错对于一个步行85年的人来说的确如此Right,forpeoplewho'
vebeenwalkingover85
years.
我想要这对这对酷I'
drathergetthese.Thesearecool.
听着杰克高中生买鞋不讲究酷和流行Listen,jake,juniorhighisnotaboutbeingcoolor
popular.
而是讲究会否因其而被敲诈It'
saboutnotgettingmuggedforyoursneakers.
我会因穿着的鞋而被敲诈?
Icangetmuggedformysneakers?
这对就不会Notthosesneakers.
要是你再拄根拐杖走在贫民窟就不一定了No,notunlessyougowalkingbyanassistedliving
facilityinaroughneighborhood.
你干什么?
Whatareyoudoing?
对不起这皮疹痒死了Sorry,thisrashisdrivingmecrazy.
穿这对很傻Ifeelstupidinthese.
当高年级孩子把你光脚丫绑在旗杆上吐口水时Bettertofeelstupidthantobetiedto
flagpolebarefoot
你会觉得更傻whileupperclassmenuseyouasaspittoon.
我不要被绑在旗杆上Idon'
twanttobetiedtoaflagpole.
你不会的只要你穿着这对丑鞋还有吃饭时别坐错桌子就对了Youwon'
tbe.Justwearthe
uglyshoesanddon'
tsitatthewronglunchtable.
坐错桌子?
Wrongtable?
我怎么知道有没坐错?
HowwillIknowifit'
sthewrongtable?
看来你要被绑在旗杆上了对吗艾伦?
You'
llbetiedtoaflagpole,right,alan?
只是一次而已Thatalsoonlyhappenedonce.
看看合不合适Let'
sjustcheckthefit.
很好足够用来藏午饭钱Ooh,good.Plentyofroomforlunchmoney.
为什么校服一定要米黄色?
howcomeallmyschoolclotheshavetobeige?
因为现在已知的黑帮没有一个是穿米黄色的Becausebeigeisnotthecolorofanyknown
gang.
没错你不会被错当作是瘸子或血块Right,soinsteadofbeingmistakenforacriporablood
但会被误认为一块巨型邦迪you'
llbemistakenforaverylargebandaid.
至少贴邦迪不会痛（被打会痛）Hey,bandaidsareouchless.
对不起不好意思请排队Oh,oh,excuseme,excuseme.There'
saline.
我知道我只是买了两件东西Yeah,Ijustgotacouplethings.
我看得见但这似乎不是数量问题Well,Icanseethat,butit'
snotreallybasedonquantityof
items.
而是"
我们先来"
的问题It'
smoreofawewereherebeforeyoukindofdeal.
你准备采取什么行动吗?
yougonnamakeathingoutofthis?
也没有什么行动There'
snothing.
我只是遵守秩序要是每个人都能这样不是很好吗?
mjust,uh,justplayingbytherulesand
wouldn'
titbeniceifeverybodydidthesame?
拿着小滑头Hangontothis,slick.
你能再给我说说那些秩序吗SB?
Now,youwanttoexplainthoserulesagain,jughead?
要是你真的那么急我就让你好了Youknowwhat?
Ifyou'
reinsuchabighurry,whydon'
tyou
justgoahead?
谢谢Thankyou.
搞什么鬼?
Whatthehellareyoudoing?
没什么给Nothing.Here.
******
我不是胆小这是起码社会公德暴力解决不了问题no,no,notchicken,justgoodcommon
sense.Fightingaccomplishesnothing.
我真不知道你原来那么绅士Oh,Ididn'
tknowyouweresofrench.
嘿嘿JulieHey.Oh,hey,julie.
你怎会认识我老婆?
howdoyouknowmywife?
什么?
不不不我...我不认识她What?
Oh,no,no,no.IIIdon'
tknowher.
你说"
嘿Julie"
Yousaid,"
hey,julie.
不...不我...我打喷嚏而已"
Nno,no.IIIsneezed.Ay...chooie!
为你的健康干杯!
（德语祝酒辞对打喷嚏的人祝愿）谢谢Gesundheit.Thankyou.
看这边也可以结帐走吧走吧走吧Oh,look,anothercashieropenedup.Let'
sgo,let'
sgo,
let'
sgo.
但妈妈说我可以自己等公车butmomsaidIcouldwaitforthebusbymyself.
我知道Iknow.
我真的一个人就好了Iwouldreallyratherwaitforthebusbymyself.
我只是想确保你平安出发Ijustwanttomakesureyougetoffokay.
但是由爸爸叔叔送去坐公车?
Yeah,butbeingwalkedtothebusstopbymydadandmyuncle?
我会显得很逊I'
mgonnalooksolame.
杰克伙计覆水难收了Jake,buddy,thatshiphassailed.
拜托别走pleasedon'
tleaveme.
没事的You'
reokay.
避免眼神接触Justdon'
tmakeeyecontact.
车来时不要靠窗坐Okay,whenthebuscomes,don'
ttakeawindowseat.
不然就要被某个二流子逼在角落里猛揍Youdon'
twanttobetrappedbyoneofthese
mouthbreathersandgetpummeled.
猛揍?
还有对司机要礼貌Pummeled?
Andbepolitetothebusdriver.
他们一点火就会受刺激变脸成恶人Theytendtobedamagedpeoplewithshortfuses.
点火?
Fuses?
别瞎指点他Don'
tdistracthim.
这些旧公车上没安全带There'
snoseatbeltsontheseoldbuses.
一个急转里面的小孩会像摇奖机里的球一样飞起来Onesharpturn,andallyoukidswillbe
flyingaroundlikelottoballs.
球?
Balls?
对了等等...oh,uh,wait,wait,wait,wait,wait.
笑一个为什么而笑?
Smile.Aboutwhat?
你要是弄丢了我需要一张近照Ineedacurrentpictureincaseyougomissing.
艾伦你太夸张了Alan,you'
rebeingridiculous.
丢了的孩子从来没被找回过Theyneverfindthosekids.
侧面来张Givemeaprofile.
好了开开心心上学去吧Okay,nowgoandmakeitagreatday.
玩开心点Havefun.
我只是希望一切按部就班Ijusthopeeverythingturnsoutallright.
我们已经尽力了Well,we'
vedoneallwecould.
现在看他了Nowit'
suptohim.
好的好的你告诉医生假设我是一棵树okay,okay,tellthedoctorthatifIwasatree
那么皮疹已经攻占了布满毛苔的树干部分therashispredominantlyaroundthemossytrunk
area.
而且附近的鹅卵石貌似也开始发红ButI'
mstartingtoseesomerednessontheadjacent
boulders.
不会吧从"
树"
到"
鹅卵石"
Oh,comeon.E?
Tretwoboulders"
你
升级会员 