super-kids-and-superproblemsWord格式文档下载.docx
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Notsolongago,mostparentswantedtheirkidstobelikeeverybodyelse.Theywereoftenasupsetifachildwereprecociousastheywereifthechildwereslow.Precocitywaslookeduponasbeingbadforthechild’spsychologicalhealth.Theassumptionwas“earlyripe,earlyrot.”@#@Nowthathaschanged.Formanyparentstodaythereisnosuchthingasgoingtoofast,andtheirmajorconcernisthattheirchildstayaheadofthepack.Farfrompresumingthatprecocityhasbadeffectspsychologically,theybelievethatbeingabovethenormbringsmanybenefits.Theassumptionis“earlyripe,earlyrich!
@#@”@#@Themajorconsequenceofthisnewparentingpsychologyisthatmanycontemporaryparentsareputtingtremendouspressureonchildrentoperformatever-earlierages.Afirstgradeteachertoldmethatanangrymotherscreamedatherbecauseshehadgiventhewoman’ssona“Satisfactory.”“HowisheevergoingtogetintoM.I.T.ifyougivehima‘Satisfactory?
@#@’”themotherwailed.@#@Manyparentsnowenrolltheirchildinprestigiousnurseryschoolsassoonasthepregnancyisconfirmed.Andoncethechildisoldenough,theycoachthechildforthescreeninginterview.“Whentheycounteverythinginsight,”onenurseryschooldirectorsaid,“youknowtheyhavebeendrilledbeforetheinterview.”ParentsbelievethatonlyifthechildgetsintothisorthatprestigiousnurseryschoolwillheorsheeverhaveachanceatgettingintoHarvard,Yale,orStanford.Forthesamereason,ourelementaryschoolsaresuddenlyfilledwithyoungstersinenrichedandacceleratedprograms.@#@Itisnotjustinacademicstudythatchildrenarebeingpushedharderatever-earlierages.SomeparentsstarttheirpreschoolchildreninsportssuchastennisandswimminginhopesthattheywillbecomeOlympicathletes.Ayoungmanwhoattendedoneofmychilddevelopmentlecturesstoppedbyafterwardtoaskmeaquestion.HeworksasatennisinstructoratanexclusiveresorthotelinFloridaandwantedtoknowhowtomotivatehisstudents.WhenIaskedhowoldtheywerehetoldmethattheyrangedinagefromthreetofiveyears!
@#@@#@Thepressuretomakeordinarychildrenexceptionalhasbecomealmostanepidemicinsports.Ihadhighhopesforsoccer,whichcanbeplayedbyallmakesandmodelsofchildren,big,small,andinbetween.Butinmoststatessoccerhasbecomeascompetitiveandselectiveasbaseball,football,andhockey.Thestarmentalityprevails,andthelesstalentedyoungstersimplydoesn’tgettoparticipate.Playisoutandcompetitionisin.@#@Thepressureforexceptionalityisequallypowerfulatthesecondarylevel.Highschoolstudentsarepressurednotonlytogetgoodgradesbuttogetintoasmanyadvanced-placementclassesaspossible.Aroundthecountryprivatetutoringcentersaresproutinguplikedandelionsinthespring,offeringlessonsineverythingfrombeginningreadingtotakingcollegeentranceexams.Otherparentsurgetheirchildrentostartdatingatanearlyagesothattheywillhavegoodinterpersonalskillsandabetterchancetowinthemosteligiblemates.@#@Clearly,thereisnothingwrongwithwantingchildrentodotheirbest.Itisnotthenormal,healthydesireofparentstohavesuccessfulchildrenthatistheproblem,buttheexcessivepressuresomeparentsareputtingonchildren.@#@Whythispushforexcellence?
@#@Sinceparentstodayarehavingfewerchildrentheirchancesofhaving“achildtobeproudof”arelowerthanwhenfamilieswerelarger.Thecostofchildrearinghasalsoincreaseddramatically,soasuccessfulchildalsoprotectsone’sinvestment.Butmostofall,manyoftoday’sparentshavecarvedouttheirownsuccessfulcareersandfeelverymuchinchargeoftheirlives.Theyseenoreasontheyshouldnottakechargeofchildrearinginthesamemannerandwiththesamesuccess.Asuccessfulchildistheultimateproofoftheirsuccess.@#@Theresultisthatmanyparentsarefartoointrusive.Bydecidingwhatandwhenchildrenshouldlearn,theyrobthemoftheopportunitytotaketheinitiative,totakeresponsibilityfortheirmistakesandcreditfortheirachievements.Suchpracticesruntheriskofproducingchildrenwhoaredependentandlackinginself-esteem.Today’sparentswantsuperkids,butwhattheyareoftengettingaresuperproblems.@#@Althoughcorrelationiscertainlynotcausation,itishardnottoconnectthereportedincreaseinstresssymptomsoverthelastdecadewiththepressureontoday’schildrentobesuperkids.ThestoriesIhearasItravelaboutthecountryarefrightening.Agirlwhowasinvolvedinfourdifferentout-of-schoolactivities(ballet,horsebackriding,Brownies,andmusiclessons)developedseverefacialticsatageeight.IrvingSigelofEducationalTestingServicetells@#@thestoryofasix-year-oldwho,whiledoingherhomework,askedhermother,“IfIdon’tgetthereright,willyoukillme?
@#@”Awomantold