Friends剧本21.docx
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Friends剧本21
TheOneWithRoss'NewGirlfriend
Writtenby:
JeffAstroff&MikeSikowitz
Transcribedby:
MindyMattinglyPhillips
WithMinorAdjustmentsby:
EricAasen
[Scene:
CentralPerk,Phoebeisrecappinglastseason,andasshetalksweseeamontagueofscenesfromRossandRachel.]
Phoebe:
Ok,sothisisprettymuchwhat'shappenedsofar.RosswasinlovewithRachelsince,youknow,forever,buteverytimehetriedtotellher,somethingkindofgotintheway,likecats,andItalianguys.FinallyChandlerwaslike"forgetabouther"butwhenRosswasinChinaonhisdig,ChandlerletitslipthatRosswasinlovewithRachel.Shewaslike,"Ohmygod."Soshewenttotheairporttomeethimwhenhecameback,butwhatshedidn'tknowwas,thatRosswasgettingofftheplanewithanotherwoman.Uh-Oh!
So,that'sprettymucheverythingyouneedtoknow.But,enoughaboutus.So,how'veyoubeen?
OpeningCredits
[Scene,TheAirport,continuedfromlastseason,RacheliswaitingforRosstocomeoftheplane,whensheseeshe'scomingoffwithanotherwoman.]
Rachel:
Ohmygod.Ohmygod.(Shedecidestomakeabreakforit.)Excuseme.Move!
Move!
Emergency!
Excuseme!
(Shetriesclimbingoverabenchandfallsdown.)
Ross:
(seeingher)Rach!
Rachel:
Oh,thereyouare!
Hi!
Oh,so,so,howwasChina,you?
(Hitshimwiththeflowers.)
Ross:
Itwas,itwasgreat.Oh,whathappened?
Rachel:
What?
Ross:
You'rebleeding.
Rachel:
Iam?
Oh,lookatthat,yesIam.Enoughaboutme,enoughaboutme,Mr.BackfromtheOrient.Comeon.Iwannaheareverything!
Everything.(LooksatJulie)
Ross:
Well,wheredoIstart?
ThisisJulie.Julie,thisisRachel.
Rachel:
Theseare,thesearen'tforyou.(toJulie)Theseareforyou.(Loudly,thinkingshecan'tspeakEnglish.)Welcometoourcountry.
Julie:
(Loudly,provingshecanspeakEnglish.)Thankyou.I'mfromNewYork.
Rachel:
Ok,well,notaproblem.We'lljustusethemtostopthebleeding.Ok.Baggageclaim?
Ok.
[Scene:
MonicaandRachel's,thegangiswaitingforRacheltoreturnfromtheairportwithRoss.]
Chandler:
Noway!
Monica:
I'mtellingyou,shewenttotheairport,andshe'sgonnagoforitwithRoss!
Phoebe:
Ohmygod.Thisishuge.Thisisbiggerthanhuge.Thisislike,allright,what'sbiggerthanhuge?
Joey:
Um,this?
Phoebe:
Yes.
Monica:
Guys,yougotyourhaircut.
Chandler:
Yes,yes,wedid,thankstoVidalBuffay.
Phoebe:
'Cause,youknow,(inthatvoice)ifyoudon'tlookgood,wedon'tlookgood.Ilovethatvoice.
Rachel:
(entering,outofbreath)Airport,airport.Ross,notalone,Julie,armaroundher.Cramp,cramp.
Chandler:
Ok,Ithinkshe'stryingtotellussomething.Quick,gettheverbs.
(ShehitsChandler.)
Rachel:
(toChandler)You,you,yousaidhelikedme.(RossandJulieenter)You,youslowpokes!
Ross:
That'sallright,Rach,wegotthebags.Hi,hello.Julie,thisismysisterMonica.ThisisChandler. Phoebe. Joey,whatup?
Joey:
Whatup?
!
Ross:
Everyone,thisisJulie.
Rachel:
(outofbreath)Julie.
All:
Ohh.(Happily)Hi!
Julie:
Hi,butI'mnothere,youhaven'tmetme.I'llmakeamuchbetterfirstimpressiontomorrowwhenIdon'thave20hoursofcabandplaneonme.
Ross:
Andbus.
Julie:
Ohmygod.
Ross:
Thescreamingguy?
Julie:
Andthespitting?
Ross:
Yougottahearthisstory.
Julie:
We'reonthisbus,that'seasily200yearsold...
Ross:
200atleast.
Julie:
...andthisguy...
Rachel:
Andthechickenpoopedinherlap.Oh,I'msosorry.Ijustgaveawaytheending,didn'tI?
Oh!
It'sjust,Ijustheardthisstoryinthecab,anditisallIcanthinkabout.
Monica:
Thisisamazing.Imean,how,howdidthishappen?
Julie:
Well,RossandIwereingradschooltogether.
Ross:
Butwehaven'tseeneachothersincethen.WellIlandinChina,guesswho'sinchargeofthedig.
Rachel:
Julie!
Julie,isn'tthatgreat?
Imean,isn'tthatjustkick-you-in-the-crotch,spit-on-your-neckfantastic?
Monica:
(toJulie)It'sanexpression.
Ross:
Well,wejustwantedtosayaquickhi,andthenwe'regonnagoseethebaby.
Julie:
Andthenwe'vegottagetsomesleep.
Ross:
Yeah,it'sreally6:
00tomorrownightourtime.
Chandler:
Well,listen,don'ttelluswhat'sgonnahappenthough,'causeIliketobesurprised.
(RossandJulieexit)
Rachel:
Bye.(Sheclosesthedoorandeveryonetriestosympathizewithher.)
[Scene:
CentralPerk,RossandChandlerenter.]
Ross:
Hey,Rach,canIgetsomecoffee?
Rachel:
Yeah,sure.
Ross:
Thankyou.
Chandler:
Hey,Rach,canIget...
Rachel:
Didyoutalktohim?
Chandler:
Notyet.
Rachel:
Then,no.
(HegoestositdownnexttoRoss.)
Chandler:
SowhatthehellhappenedtoyouinChina?
Imean,whenlastweleftyou,youweretotallyinlovewith,youknow.
Ross:
Iknow,IknowIwas,buttherewasalwaysthislittlevoiceinsidethatkeptsayingit'snevergonnahappen,moveon.Youknowwhosevoicethatwas?
Chandler:
God?
Ross:
Itwasyou,pal.
Chandler:
Well,maybeitwasGod,doingme.
Ross:
Look,youwereright.Shelooksatmeandseesafriend,that'sall.ButthenImetJulie,andIdon'tknow,we'rehavin'agreattime.AndIhavetosay,Ineverwould'vegoneforitwithherifithadn'tbeenforyou.
Chandler:
Well,youowemeone,bigguy.
Rachel:
(ToRoss)Here'syourlemonade.
Ross:
Ididn'torderlemonade.
Rachel:
Oh.Wellthen,youbettergotakethatbackbecausethey'regonnachargeyouforthat.
Ross:
But...
Rachel:
Go-go-go-go,comeon!
(Rossgoesovertothecounte)(toChandler)Souh,whatdidyoufindout?
Chandler:
Hesaid...hesaid,hesaidthatthey'rehavingagreattime.I'msorry.But,thesilverlining,ifyouwannaseeit,isthathemadethedecisionallbyhimself!
Withoutanyoutsidehelpwhatsoever.
Rachel:
Howisthatthesilverlining?
Chandler:
Youhavetoreallywannaseeit.
[Scene:
MonicaandRachel's,RossandthegangiswatchingSumowrestlingonTV.]
Ross:
Ironically,thesearetheguyswhowerepickedlastingym.
[CuttoPhoebeandMonicainthekitchen.]
Monica:
Pheebes,youknowwhatI'mthinking?
Phoebe:
Oh,ok.How,it'sbeensolongsinceyou'vehadsex,you'rewonderingifthey'vechangedit?
Monica:
No,althoughnowthat'swhatI'mthinking.
Phoebe:
Allright,sowhatwereyouthinking?
Monica:
Well,Iwasthinking,thatyougavetheguyssuchgreathaircuts,Ithought,maybeyou'dliketodomine?
Phoebe:
Ohh!
No.
Monica:
Whynot?
Phoebe:
Because,I'mjust,I'mincrediblyanalandanunbelievablecontrolfreak.
Monica:
Noyou'renot.
Phoebe:
IknowI'mnot,butyouare,andIwastryingtospareyourfeelings.
(Thephonerings.)
Joey:
(answeringthephone)Hello?
Oh,hi.Yeah,holdonasecond.Ross,it'sJulie,foryou.(Throwshimthephone.)
Ross:
(onphone)Hello?
Hi.
Chandler:
(entering)Hi.Anybodyknowagoodtailor?
Joey:
Needssomeclothesaltered?
Chandler:
No,no,I'mjustlookingforamantodrawonmewithchalk.
Joey:
Whydon'tyougoseeFrankie?
Myfamily'sbeengoin'tohimforever.HedidmyfirstsuitwhenIwas15.Nowait,16.No,'scuseme,15.(stillconfused)Allright,whenwas1990?
Chandler:
Okay. YouhavetostoptheQ-tipwhenthere'sresistance!
Ross:
(onphone)Ok,ok,sweetheart,I'llseeyoulater.Ok,bye.What?
(SitsdownnexttoRachel)Oh,thatissosweet.No,no,ok,youhangup.Ok,ok,one,two,three.(Doesn'thangupandmotionsforRacheltobequiet)Wellyoudidn'thangupeither.
Rachel:
Shedidn'thangupeither!
Ross:
Ok,no,no,youhangup.You,you,y...
Rachel:
(takingthephoneandhangingitup)Sorry,Ithoughtyouweretalkingtome.
Ross:
Rachel!
I'lljustcallherback.
Rachel:
Okay!
Ross:
(callsJulieback)Hi?
Sorry,wegotdisconnected...(Walksaway.)
Rachel:
(toMonica)Ok,ok,ok.Howdidthishappentome?
Howdidthishappentome?
Aweekago,twoweeksago,Iwasfine.RosswasjustRoss,justthisguy.Nowhe'sRrrooossss,oh,thisreallygreatguythatIcan'thave.
Monica:
Sweetie,Iwantedyoutohavehimtoo.
Rachel:
Iknowyoudid.I'mjustgonnadealwithit,I'mjustgonnadealwithit.(Rosscomesby,smochingwithJulieonthephone.)Igottagetoutofhere.(Exits)
Chandler:
Ok,Idon'tcarewhatyouguyssay,something'sbotheringher.
[Scene:
MonicaandRachel's,thenextmorning.]
Joey:
(toChandler)Youknow,IthinkIwassixteen.
Monica:
(toPhoebe)Please,justalittlebitofftheback.
Phoebe:
I'mstillon"no."
Rachel:
(pokingherheadinfromherbedroom)Uh,morning.Doyouguysthinkyoucouldcloseyoureyesforjustasec?
Joey:
No-no-no-no-no,(grabshispants)I'mnotfallin'forthatagain.
Phoebe:
What'sgoin'on?
Rachel:
Well,Isortadidastupidthinglastnight.
Chandler:
Whatstupidthingdidyoudo?
Paulo:
(enteringfromRachel'sroom)Bongiornotutti!
Phoebe:
Ewww!
(Getsupandwalksaway.)
CommercialBreak
[Scene:
MonicaandRachel's,continuedfromearlier.]
Rachel:
Ok,Paulo,whydon'tyoujustgogetdressed,andthenyoubeonyourway,ok,bye-bye.(Paulogoesintohisroom.)
Monica:
Rachel,howdidthishappen?
Rachel:
Idon'tknow,Ijustkindaranintohimlastnight.
Phoebe:
Where?
Rachel:
Athisapartment.Isthisjuice?
Joey:
Whoa,whoa.AndthefactthatyoudumpedhimbecausehehitonPhoebe?
Rachel:
OhGod,IknowI'mapatheticloser.
Monica:
Honey,you'renotpathetic,you'resad.
Chandler:
Peopledostupidthingswhenthey'reupset.
Monica:
Mygod,ifIhadanickelforeveryguyIwishIhadn't...(Everyonelooksather),butthisisaboutyourhorriblemistake.
(RossandJulieenter.)
All:
Hi!
Ross:
Hi.Sorrywe'relatebutwewere—well,therewastouching.
Paulo:
(entering)Hey,heyRoss.
Ross:
Hey,Paulo.Whatareyoudoinghere?
Paulo:
IdoRaquel.
Ross:
(toRachel)So,uh,he'sback.
Rachel:
Yeah,he'sback.Isthataproblem?
Ross:
No,notaproblem.