成长的烦恼.docx

成长的烦恼.docx

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成长的烦恼

GrowingPains402

Jason:

I'mjustsayingthatIwouldn’tbegoingintoworktomorrowifIweretwoweeksover

due.

Maggie:

Wellthat’sbecauseyouareabettermotherthanIam.

Mike:

Heee

Ben:

Mike.Singingisforkids.Besidesyoupromisednosinging.Remember.

Mike:

Hey,who'ssinging?

AllIsaidwasHeeeee

Ben:

Quititmike.Likemumanddadsaid.It’smyday.

Mike:

Alright,alright.It’syourparty,it’syourrules.Heeeee

Ben:

Mike!

Jason:

Honeyspeakingasadoctor..

Maggie:

Jason,Jason,Jason,Jason.Itssilentcaketime.

Jason:

I'mjustsayingthatyouknowaswellasIdo,thebig"thissit"momentcouldcomeat

anytime.

Maggie:

Really.Andhowmanybabieshaveyouhad?

Jason:

I’mnotgoingtopushit.Goingintoworkisstupidand..enoughsaid.

Maggie:

Jason,thebabywillnotcome..OhI’msorrypumpkin.Nomoretalkaboutthenew

baby.Likewesaid,it’syourday.

Ben:

Thankyou.

Jason:

Socomeon.Makeawish.Blowoutthecandles.

Ben:

Igotit.

Carol:

Haveyouguysreallynotdecidedonanynamesforthebaby?

Jason:

Carol.

Carol:

What?

WhatdidIsay?

Mike:

ItwasalotworsethanHeeeee.

Ben:

Mike!

Jason:

WhatisHeee?

Mike:

It’sjustaworddad,thatapparentlyseemstobefreakingBenout.Andyouknowwhat

crapyouguyshavebeenwithhimlately.

Jason:

Nowwaitaminute..

Carol:

Mike.Whydoyoualwayshave...?

Jason:

Yourmothershavingababy,it’sabigstrainonthewholefamily.

Everyone:

（talkingatthesametime）

Jason:

Youcan’tblamehimforactingalittleirrational.

Ben:

Man!

Justwhatweneed.AnewSeaver.

Maggie:

Holdonhere.Thisisit.

Jason:

Thisiswhat?

Maggie:

Jason.

Jason:

Areyousure?

Maggie:

I'msure.Jason

Jason:

Yes,wellthere’sgasinthecar.Thisisit,shesaidthisit.

Maggie:

Wow.Anotherone.

Carol:

Ohmygod.Sorry.

Jason:

Contractionsaresixminutesapartnow.You'reok?

Maggie:

Uhhu.

Jason:

Maggie,didIevertellyouthatbackinmedicalschool,youknowIthoughtanawfullot

aboutoscentricsandgynecology.

Maggie:

Ibetyoudid.

Carol:

Istilldon’tseehowyoutwocanbesocalm.Imeanmum,youareabouttogivebirth.

Perhapsthemostpainful,grossexperienceinthewholeworld.

Maggie:

ThankyouCarol.

Jason:

YourmumandIhavetheadvantageofhavinggonethroughthisafewtimesbefore,

carol.

Carol:

Yeah,butyouweremuchmuchyoungerthen.Sorry.

Maggie:

Carol,agehasnothingtodowithit.Whenyouarepreparedforasituationyoucan

takeanythinginyourstride.

Mike:

I'mok.Don’tworryaboutme.Infact,don’tworryaboutanything.Mum,Igotyour

suitcasehere,anddoctorGoodnersphonenumber.Everything’sset.

Carol:

EvenMikeiscalm.IthinkI’mgoingtobesick.

Mike:

Andremember,ifyouneedanything,I’mhere.I'mnotafraidofbloodorgutsorpussor

anything.

Maggie:

Mike,youknowwhatyoucoulddo?

Youcouldheatmesomewater.

Mike:

Water.Hotwater?

Youmeanthebabiescomingrightnow?

Well,dad,you'readoctor.

Can’tyoustopthatthing?

Maggie:

Mike,Ijustwantsometea.

Mike:

Tea.Oh.Icandothat.Tea.

HeyBen.Mumislikereadytogivebirthinthelivingroom.Thisismajorstuffhere.Andto

think,Iusedtothinkthegiftoflifewasseams.

Carol:

Ifinallyfigureditout.Idid.Iknowwhymumanddadareactinglikethey'resocalm.

It’sanact.Acover.

Mike:

Coverthis.

Carol:

Oh,that’srightMike.Actliketheinsensitiveloutthatyouare.

Mike:

Carol,ifyourvoicegetsanyhigher,onlydogswillbeabletohearyou.

Carol:

MichaelSeaver.Ihopeit’sagirl.Witheveryounceofmybeing.

Mike:

Well,Idon’tstandachance.

Maggie:

OhJason!

Thiscantbehappeningnow.

Jason:

Whynot?

Maggie:

westillhavetopickoutnames.

Jason:

Wellyoushouldhavethoughtaboutthatbeforeyouwentintolabor.

Mike:

Right,doctorGoodnerknowsweareonourway.Didyouknowshewasawoman?

Jason:

Yes.Hurry,comeoneveryone.Inmycar.Comeon.

Mike:

No,no.Wecan’tgoinyourcar.Yourcar'sintheshop.

Jason:

What’sitdoingthere?

Mike:

Youtoldmetotakeitthere.

Jason:

Ohthatwaslastweekmike.

Mike:

AndyousayIneverlisten.

Jason:

Alright,we'lltakeyourmotherscar.Let’sgo.

Carol:

Butyouhatedrivinghercar.

Jason:

NIdon’t.

Maggie:

Yesyoudo.

Jason:

YesIdo,butit’sjusttothehospital.

Maggie:

Idon’twanttoputyouout.

Mike:

Look,wecantakemycar.Alright?

Jason:

Yeah,alright.Letsgo.

Mike:

foronce,ifwearestoppedforspeeding,Icanfinallysay...ahnotthatIeverget

stoppedforspeeding.

Jason:

I'lldrivemikescar.

Carol:

Butweallwon’tfitinMike’scar.

Maggie:

thenI’lldrivemycartoo.

Jason:

Great!

Maggie:

Great.

Jason:

No!

Maggie:

No?

Jason:

NoMaggie.

Maggie:

ButIhavetogo.I'mtheonethat's...oh!

Jason:

Oh!

Maggie:

Ohhhhh!

Everyone:

Oh!

Mike:

Ok,wearestartingtosoundlikeabunchofdadsmentalpatients.Okdad.Youtake

muminmycar,andI’lltakecarolscar.

Carol:

Idon’thaveacar.

Mike:

Imeantidtakeyouinmum’scar.

Jason:

WhataboutBen?

Mike:

Bencan’tdrive.

Carol:

No,wealmostforgotBen.

Ben:

Almost?

Jason:

Youtakehiminyourcar,becauseI’llbetakingmumscar,whichisreally....wellisthat

yourcar..

Maggie:

Jason!

Everyone:

Ok.

Carol:

ComeonBen.Wecan’twaitforever.

Ben:

IthinkI’lljuststay.IwasgoingtowatchTVtonightanyway.

Mike:

Ben,yougottostopwatchingTVandstartlivingyourlife.

Ben:

TVismylife.

Jason:

Excuseme.I'mJasonSeaverandmywifeisapatientofdoctorGoodnersandshe's

goingtohaveababy.

Nurse:

No!

Maggie:

Isthedoctorhereyet.

Nurse:

Yeah,she'sscrubbingup.Aren’tyouthatMaggieMalonefromtheTVnews?

Maggie:

Yes.

Nurse:

Iseeyouallthetime.

Maggie:

Thankyou.

Nurse:

Ididn'tsayIlikeyou.IsaidIseeyou.

Jason:

Ok,canwejustgetonwiththemedicalroutine.We'llsavethecysticenembralstufffor

later.

Nurse:

Fine.Seeapersontriestofriendlytosomeoneandyouseewhathappens.Now,before

wetakeyouoffforprepping,MrsMalone..

Maggie:

MrsSeaver.

Nurse:

Oh,youareoneofthose.Anyway,thishospitalhaswhatisknownasabirthingroom.

Jason:

Yes.MywifeandIhavetoldthekidsallaboutit.

Nurse:

SircanIpleasedomyjob?

Now,thisbirthingroomallowsthewholefamilytobea

partof,andwitnessto,thebeautyofbirth.

Carol:

Oooh!

Nurse:

Exactly.

Maggie:

Oh!

Jason:

Nowthiskidwantsout.

Nurse:

Bernie,wegotanothercustomer.Letsroll.

Carol:

Alright,alright.

Mike:

Okmum,you'llbefine.

Carol:

Havefun.

Maggie:

Thanks.

Carol:

Don’tforgetthesuitcase.

Mike:

Don’tworrydad.I'llstayherewithnervouslittlecarol.Dadyouforgotyourcamera.

Voice:

DoctorJohnson,callyourbroker.

Carol:

Watchingabirthwouldbesofleshy.

Mike:

It’skindoflikewatchingAlienin3D.

Carol:

Ithoughtyouwerestayingherecos,cossomeonehastostayherewithnervouslittle

Carol.

Mike:

WellifitwillmakeyouhappierCarol,thenI’llleave.Andyoucanstayherewithlittle

Ben.

Voice:

DoctorZeigler,calladmissions.

Mike:

Alrightcarol,whatdidyoudowithBen?

Carol:

Me?

Mike:

Me!

Carol,thisisnotimetobethinkingaboutyourself.Now,nowwasheintheelevator

withus?

Carol:

I,I,Idon’tremember.

Mike:

III,whatisitwithyoutoday?

Carol:

Alright,nowwhywouldBenpicknow,ofalltimes,torunoff?

Mike:

WellIdon’tknow.Maybehe’supsetbecausehethinkswiththenewbaby,hethinks

maybewedon’thavetimeforhim.

Carol:

Wellthat’ssilly.Withthenewbaby,wedon’thavetimeforbenssilliness.

Mike:

Carol,ifyoueverthinkaboutbecomingachildcounselor,don’t.

Carol:

Look,doyouwanttostayhereandinsultme,ordoyouwanttogolookforBen?

Mike:

Carol,whatIwantdoesnotmatterhere.Ok?

NowI’llcheckthisfloorandyougocheck

theothereight.

Carol:

Theothereight!

Mike:

Wherehaveyoubeen?

Carol:

Ihadeightfloorstocheck.Whathaveyoubeendoing?

Mike:

Checkingeverynookandcrannyonthisfloor.Andyou'llneverbelievewhatIsawthis

oldladydoinginthesupplyroom.

Carol:

Alright,nowbensgottobesomeplaceobvious.

Mike:

No,Ialreadychecked.Thecafeteria'snotopenatthishour.

WellIguesswe'rejustgoingtohavetotellmumanddadthatyou'velosthim.

Carol:

Ilosthim!

Mike:

Good,youadmitit.

Carol:

Wecan’ttellthemanythingnow.

Mike:

Areyououtofyourmind?

Oneoftheirchildrenismissing.

Carol:

OhcomeonMike.Don’tyouthinkthattheyarealittlebusy?

Mike:

Withwhat?

Oh!

Voice:

DoctorWaller,reporttoOR.

Ben:

Youguysthinkyouaresocute.

Doctor:

Kid,kid.Youdon’tbelonghere.

Ben:

It’sofficial.

Maggie:

Ah,shutupJason!

Doctor:

YouaredoingjustfineMaggie.Itwon’tbelongnow.Eightcentimetersdilated.

Jason:

Thankyoudoctor.

Doctor:

Youarewelcomedoctor.

Jason:

Oh!

ComeonMaggie,youcandoit.

Maggie:

Youcandoit!

That’ssupposedtomakemefeelbetter?

Youcallyourselfacoach?

Jason:

That’sgoodMaggie.Youtakeyourmindoffyourpain.

Maggie:

Takemymindoffmypain.Ok.Doyouknowhowannoyingitistobemarriedto

someonewithyourtoilethabits?

Jason:

No.What?

Maggie:

Youalwaysleavethedamnseatupinthedamnbathroom.You’dthinkthatafterall

thistime,you’dgetitthroughyourthickscullthatIdon’tenjoysittingdowninwater.

Maggie:

andJason:

（makingnoises）

Doctor:

Heleavestheseatup.That’swhatdiditinmyfirstmarriage.Doesheleavehalfa

sheetontherollwithoutreplacingit?

Maggie:

Constantly.

Doctor:

mencanbesuchbabies.

Jason:

Speakingofbabies,canwe