孩子为什么不听话因你不会批评Why isnt the child obedient Because you wont criticize.docx

孩子为什么不听话因你不会批评Why isnt the child obedient Because you wont criticize.docx

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孩子为什么不听话因你不会批评WhyisntthechildobedientBecauseyouwontcriticize

孩子为什么不听话因你不会批评!

（Whyisn'tthechildobedientBecauseyouwon'tcriticize!

）

Whycriticismdoesn'twork?

Everyonemakesmistakes,butinreality,onlychildrenwhomakemistakescanbemorevulnerabletocriticism.

Why?

BecausechildrenoftenmakemistakesIncorrect！

Becausethechildissmall,donotunderstandthings,easytomakemistakes?

Incorrect！

Becauseourparentsalwaysfollowthechildren'seyes.Yes!

Allchildren'smannersarebasicallyoutofthereachoftheirparents.Assoonasshefellonthefloorcarelessly,themotherwouldsay,"howcanyoubesocareless?

"!

"Iftheexamresultsarenotsatisfactory,therewillbeavoicesounded:

"youseehowtheexamsobad."."Ifaccidentallylostsomething,therewillbeavoicesaid:

"howdoyoualwaysabsent-minded."Justhitthechild,hasnotcomeoutfromthesad,painfulgrievances,evenhumiliatingemotions,oftenwithastormofcriticism,theheartIfeelunhappy,butnotwhatway!

Butcanonlysilentlysilently,boldmaytopwords,butitwillprovokescolding,reallywrongedyoumaycry.OhThiscanbeevenworse,parentswillshout"crywhatcry."!

There'snothingtocryabout!

"Andhaveyoueverthoughtaboutit?

Whydoyoualwayscriticizefrommorningtillnight?

Whydoyouoftencriticizethesamequestion?

Isitbecausethechildisdisobedient?

Notsensible?

There'stoomuchtrouble

Haveyoueverwonderedwhyyourcriticismdidn'twork?

Somepeoplesighthatlifeisdifficult!

It'shardertobeawoman!

Ithinkyoumustsaynowthatit'shardertobeamotherthantobeamother!

EverydayIgettothefronttosubscribetomagazinesandnewspapers.Thereisanofficerondutywhoisanoldladyandhergranddaughteroftencomeshereafterschool.Oneday,asusual,Igotthenewspaperandwentinandsawthelittlegirllyingonthedeskwritingherhomework.Theoldladywasteachingherlittlegranddaughter,"ah!

"!

What'swrongwithyou?

Thewritingissougly!

Thisrewrite,thatonehastoberewritten!

"Handbyhandtopulloutalittlegirlangrilyrebukedthesideedge,thelittlegirlseemstousetheeraseractionistooslow.Thelittlegirlpressedherlipstightly,hereyesstillinsilenttears,andreluctantlyerasedthewordsshehadjustwritten.Iamcurioustosee,theoriginalisthekindofpracticewordswork,everywordwrittenmanytimes,butthewordswrittenintheMword,seethelittlegirljustwenttoschoolsoon.Somecharactersarewrittenwell,andsomecharactersarereallyugly.Theyarenothunginthegridofwords,orsimplyputthelegsout.Ithought,assuchnowonder,juststarted!

Iandtheoldladyiscooked,Iknowhergranddaughter'sname,calledyingko.

SoIsaid:

"aunt,youdon'tworryaboutme,andthe.""Yes,youareeducated,"theoldladysaidhappily."Tellheraboutit."."

Isaid:

"theah,dohomework?

Letmesee!

"

Thelittlegirlseemedtobestillveryunhappyandanswered,"Oh!

"!

"

Ipickedupherexercisebookandsaid,"Oh!

"!

Isthepracticeofwritingwritenewwordsah,reallygoodah."

Thelittlegirlseemedtohavefallenoutofhermindandstretchedherheadtogethertoreadherbook.

Ithenasked,"bytheway,wouldyoushowmewhichoneyouwritebest?

""

Thelittlegirlmadeaquickglanceatitandquicklypressedoneofherwordswithheryoungfingers.

ThewordIreadwasreallygood,thenIasked,"Oh,whichwordistheleastbeautifulone?

""

Iaskedadrawling,beforesayingallthatlittlegirlquicklytookthejobfrommyhands,towhichapoorlywrittenwordquicklyerased.

Inoddedapprovinglyandsaid:

"Yingko,Ithinkyoucanwriteabetterthanthebestwordto!

Isthatso?

"

Thelittlegirlnoddedvigorously,andsooninthebookandwriteaword,isakindofverygoodcharacter,fullofindomitablespirit.

Ipattedherontheheadandsaid,"great!

"!

Takeyourtime,grandma.Don'tbeunhappy!

"Nothreeminutes,thelittlegirl'sperformance.

Theoldladysaidinsurprise:

"MissZhao,howcanthegirllistentoyoulikethis?

""Isaidtoher,"cursingisnotthebestway."!

Encouragementismuchbetterthancriticism."

Asthesayinggoes,"thegood-for-nothing",isalsotrueforchildren.

Criticismasameansofeducation,thepurposeistoletthechildknowthecauseoftheerror,andlatercanavoidorcorrect.

Butinfact,manyparentshavethisexperience,andchildrentospeakwell,talkaboutthetruthdoesnotwork,criticismdoesnotwork,anxioustoplayamealisstilluseless,howtodotheeffectisnotgood!

Anyway,it'snousetalkingorscolding!

Beatthepipe!

Nowit'stimeforparentstothinkaboutit.Thechildmadeamistake,

Intheendhowtomanage?

Howtoeducatechildren?

Shouldwecriticizeifwearewrong?

1,uselesscriticism

Let'sfirstlookatsomeofthephenomenaandcharacteristicsofparentscriticizingtheirchildren.

（1）criticismisemotional

Oncethechildmistakes,parentstendtobeemotional,pale,dancing,murmuring,eyes,voice,languagefast,whileitisadangeroussituation,fullyanddelightfully!

Well,finished,scolded,andtheheartisalsohappy,butalsobalanced.Andyoumaynotknow,whenthefamilygrowuptospendtime,mostofthechildren'smindiscalculated:

"nowisscoldedhalf."!

""Justalittlemorepatience,andsoonit'sallover."!

"Theparentssuddenlystoppedandaskedwhenthechildrenshouted:

"doyouunderstand?

"Thechildimmediatelyreflected,"yes,Ido."!

""Rememberyet?

"""Remember!

"!

""Willyoustillcommitcrimeslater?

"""No!

"!

"Itwassoniceandelaboratejusttoputanendtothestorm.Ifthereisavideocamera,theparentslookattheirfacialexpressionsandperformance,reallycannotbeartoseeah!

Andwhatthechildsaystoyouisoftennottobeabletofallback,justdonotknowwhatyouhavesaidatall.Justonething:

Iwaswrong,soyoucalledmenames!

Eventheguiltanduneasinessofthemistakevanishedwiththeroarofcriticism.Becausetheyunderstandalittle,andthenscold,generalwillbefine!

Theonlythingthatchildrendoandareinterestediniswaiting,waitingfortheendoftheblame!

Theendresultis"taketheheartoutofyourmouth","youscoldme,andIdomine."".

Youcancountonthismorepersonalemotionalcatharsis.Howeffectiveissubjectivecriticism?

Infact,alotoftimes,silenceisfarmoreeffectivethancriticism.

Thepurposeofcriticismistomakethechildawareofhisproblems,tounderstandandacceptthecorrectsuggestions,andtocorrecttheminaction.Asananalysisandevaluationofafault,itshouldbeveryrational.Inthisprocess,temperwillinevitablycomplain,canaccept,ventobjects.

Imaginehowsuchanemotioncanwinrespectfromchildren,andhowtoconvincechildren,andhowtoletchildrenlistentoit?

（2）theoverflowofcriticism

Sometimes,ourparentscriticizedthechild,impassionedvoice,speedfast,brainactivity,thinkingofjumping,Lenovorich,exaggeration.Forexample,whenabowlwasplayed,youcouldthinkoflosingyourkeys,losingmoney,losingface（becauseyoufailedtheexam）,andyoucouldalsofight,watchTV,playgamesandsoon.Inaword,anythingthatcanberememberedcanbereplayedlikeamovielens.Indeed,informative,allusive,saychildreneyelidsdoubled,mouthoff,necktwist,headlow,thought:

saywhatyoulove!

Notthirsty,either?

Hum!

Criticismshouldbetargeted,saywhatthecurrentproblems,itisgood,butcannotblamethejointnegligence,beforewealsocount.The"oldold"againwillonlyletthechildrenfeeltired,hateandhatredforparents,andbecauseotherthingstopulltoomuch,dilutethecurrenttheme,themaincontradictioniseasytobeweakenedandignored.Veryfunny,oftenhaveparentstalkingstopped,how?

ItwasawhileIforgotwhattosay!

Hadtolaughatmyselfandsaid:

"well,lookatyou,I'mangry!

"

Justimagine,suchcriticismmakeschildrenbitterandfreethemeofhowcouldhelpsolvetheproblem?

（3）simplicityofcriticism

Alotoftimes,whenachildmakesamistake,aparent'sperformanceisoftencriticized,notcriticized,andcriticizedwithoutcriticism.ManyparentshavehadchildrenLaichuangphenomenon,isoftenthesidetosidechatter,andthechildrenaretoregardthisasbackgroundnoise.Therewasnocriticismatall.Becausethechildisveryclear,ifyouwalktolearntobelate,parentswillhaveawaytoletthechildrenontimetoschool,acarcanbesent,nocarcantakeataxiah.

AparentonceaskedmewhatIshoulddoaboutitIsaiditwasverysimple,youdon'tcareabouthim,andhe'llbecriticizedbytheschoolifyouarelate.Becauseyouhaveallthewaythatheshouldnotbelate,bearchildreninbedisashieldconsequences,sohewasconfidentcalmlyinbed,youscoldhimforwhat?

Therearemanysituationslikethis,inwhichparentscriticizeonlythephenomenonwithouttakingpracticalandeffectivesolutions.

（4）criticismisimpatient

Therearealotofthetimeitis,thechildrendidn'tevenrealizethemistakeisimminentorhascome,notdeeplyawareofmistakescanbringwhatkindofconsequences,ourparentsarealreadycanscarcelywait,gasisnotonetoplay,usuallyistheeyesandthemouth,evenhandto.

Manisnotasaint,

Toerrishuman"?

Moreover,"whoknowsnotyet?

"!

It'snormaltomakemistakes,andit'snormaltomakemistakeswhenyoufirstexperiencesomething!

Butparentsdonotgivechildrenenoughtimeandspacetoexperiencemistakes,trysetbacks,andchildrendon'tevenknowwhat'swrong.Criticismandblamehavecomealong.Thisanxious,quick,impatientofcriticism,oftenkillchildren'screativity,limitingthedevelopmentofchildren.

Whyaretheremanychildrenwhoarenotinterestedinlearning?

Itisbecauseparentsinterfereto