无敌破坏王1.docx

无敌破坏王1.docx

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无敌破坏王1

1.Myname'sRalph,andI'mabadguy.

2.Let'ssee.I'mninefeettall.Iweigh643pounds.

3.Gotalittlebitofatemperonme.

4.Mypassionbubblesverynearthesurface,

5.Iguess,notgonnalie.

6.Anyhoo,whatelse?

Uh...

7.I'mawrecker.Iwreckthings.Professionally.

8.I'mverygoodatwhatIdo.ProbablythebestIknow.

9.Thethingis,fixingisthenameofthegame.

10.Literally,Fix-ItFelix,Jr.

11.Fixit,Felix!

12.So,yeah,naturally,

13.theguywiththenameFix-ItFelixisthegoodguy.

14.He'sniceenoughasgoodguysgo.

15.Definitelyfixesstuffreallywell.

16.But,uh,ifyou'vegotamagichammerfromyourfather,

17.howhardcanitbe?

18.Ifhewasaregularcontractorcarpenterguy,

19.Iguaranteeyouwouldnotbeable

20.tofixthedamagethatIdoasquickly.

21.AndwhenFelixdoesagoodjob,hegetsamedal.

22.Butaretheremedalsforwreckingstuffreallywell?

23.TothatIsay,"Ha!

"

24.And,no,therearen't.

25.ThirtyyearsI'vebeendoingthis

26.andI'veseenalotofothergamescomeandgo.

27.Kindofsad.IthinkaboutallthoseguysfromAsteroids.

28.Boom!

Gone.Centipede?

29.Whoknowswherethatguyis,youknow?

30.Look,asteadyarcadegigisnothingtosneezeat.

31.I'mverylucky.

32.It'sjust,Igottosay,

33.itbecomeskindofhardtoloveyourjob

34.whennooneseemstolikeyoufordoingit.

35.Allclear!

Thearcadeisclosed!

36.Shoryuken!

37.Whoo!

Whataday!

YouwanttoheadtoTappers,Ken?

38.Ifyou'rebuying,buddy.

39.Quittingtime!

40.Idon'tknow.

41.MaybeIwouldn'tbefeelingthisway

42.ifthingsweredifferentafterwork.

43.Butitiswhatitis.

44.Goodjob,everyone!

45.FelixandtheNicelanders

46.gohangoutintheirhomes

47.whichhe'sjustfixed,andeveryone,youknow...

48.Theygototheirhomes,Igotomine

49.whichhappenstobeadump.

50.AndwhenIsay"adump,"

51.Idon'tmeanlikeashabbyplace.

52.Imeananactualdump,

53.wherethegarbagegoes

54.andabunchofbricksandsmashedbuildingparts...

55.That'swhatIcallhome.

56.IguessIcan'tbellyachetoomuch.

57.Igotmybricks,Igotmystump.

58.Itlooksuncomfortable.It'sactuallyfine.I'mgood.

59.ButifI'mreallyhonestwithmyself...

60.IseeFelixuptheregettingpattedontheback,

61.peoplearegivinghimpieandthankinghim

62.andsohappytoseehimallthetime.

63.SometimesIthink...

64.Man,itsuremustbenicebeingthegoodguy.

65.Niceshare,Ralph.

66.Asfellowbadguys,

67.we'veallfeltwhatyou'refeelingandwe'vecometotermswithit.

68.Really?

-Righthere.

69.IamZangief.Iambadguy.

70.Hi,Zangief!

-Hi,Zangief.

71.Irelatetoyou,Ralph.WhenIhitbottom,

72.Iwascrushingman'sskull

73.likesparroweggbetweenmythighs.

74.AndIthink,"Whydoyouhavetobesobad,Zangief?

"

75."Whycan'tyoubemorelikegoodguy?

"

76.ThenIhavemomentofclarity.

77.IfZangiefisgoodguy.

78.Who'llcrushman'sskull

79.likesparrow'seggbetweenthighs?

80.AndIsay,"Zangief,youarebadguy,

81.butthisdoesnotmeanyouare'bad'guy."

82.Right.I'msorry.Youlostmethere.

83.Zombie!

Badguy!

-Hi,Zombie.

84.Hi,Zombie.

85.Zangiefsayinglabelsnotmakeyouhappy.

86.Good!

Bad!

87.Youmustloveyou.

88.Yeah!

Insidehere!

-Yes.

89.Okay.Allright,Igetyou.Watchout.It'sdripping.

90.Question,Ralph.

91.We'vebeenaskingyoutoBad-Anonforyearsnowandtonightyoufinallyshowup.

92.Whyisthat?

-Idon'tknow.

93.Ijustfeltlikecoming.

94.Isupposeithassomethingtodowiththefactthat...

95.Well,todayisthe30thanniversaryofmygame.

96.Well,happyanniversary,Ralph.

97.Thanks,Satan.

98.Uh,it'sSateen,actually.

99.Gotit.Buthere'sthething.

100.Idon'twanttobethebadguyanymore.

101.Youcan'tmesswiththeprogram,Ralph.

102.You'renotgoingTurbo,areyou?

103.Turbo?

No,I'mnotgoingTurbo!

Comeon,guys!

104.IsitTurbotowantafriend?

Oramedal?

105.Orapieceofpieeveryonceinawhile?

106.IsitTurbotowantmoreoutoflife?

107.Yes!

108.Ralph,Ralph,wegetit.

109.Butwecan'tchangewhoweare.

110.Andthesooneryouacceptthat,

111.thebetteroffyourgameandyourlifewillbe.

112.Hey.Onegameatatime,Ralph.

113.Let'scloseoutwiththeBadGuyAffirmation.

114.I'mbad,andthat'sgood.

115.Iwillneverbegood,andthat'snotbad.

116.There'snooneI'dratherbethanme.

117.Okay,gang,seeyounextweek.

118.Listen,Ican'tdosnacksnextweek.

119.Hanginthere,Ralph.

120.Hey,Zombie,don'tforgetyourhatchets.

121.Thereyougo.

122.Stepaside,sir.Randomsecuritycheck.

123.Randommybehind!

Youalwaysstopme.

124.I'mjustasurgeprotectordoingmyjob,sir.

125.Name?

-LaraCroft.

126.Name?

-Wreck-ItRalph!

127.Andwhereareyoucomingfrom?

128.Uh...Pac-Man.

129.Didyoubringanyfruitwithyou?

130.No!

No.Nofruit.

131.Okay,then.Whereareyouheading?

132.Fix-ItFelixJr.

133.Anythingtodeclare?

-Ihateyou.

134.Igetthatalot.Proceed.

135.Badguycoming!

136.Ifyouleaveyourgame,

137.staysafe,stayalert,

138.andwhateveryoudo,don'tdie.

139.Becauseifyoudieoutsideyourowngame

140.youdon'tregenerate.

141.Ever.Gameover.

142.Hereyougo,buddy.

143.It'sfresh.StraightfromPac-Man's.

144.Hanginthere,guys.

145.Name?

146.CelebrategoodtimesComeon!

147."Happy30thAnniversary"?

148.They'rehavingapartywithoutme.

149.Pac-Man?

TheyinvitedPac-Man?

150.Thatcherry-chasingdot-muncherisn'tevenpartofthisgame!

151.Greatparty,Felix.

152.Why,thankyou,friend.

153.Felix.You'reneededonthedancefloor!

154.Whoo!

155.Fix-ItFelix!

Whoo-whoo!

Fix-ItFelix!

156.Oh!

I'llbetthat'sMario.

157.Fashionablylate,perthenorm.

158.I'llgetit,Felix.

159.Ahh!

160.It'sRalph!

161.He'llwrecktheparty!

-Hidethestemware!

162.Getridofhim,Felix.

163.Oh,right.I'llgotalktohim.

164.Carryon,everyone.

165.Ralph,canIhelpyou?

166.Hey,Felix.Justwantedtocheckonyou.

167.Isawabigexplosionorsomethinggooverthebuildingthere.

168.Oh,thosewerejustfireworks.

169.Fireworks.Okay.Phewf.

170.Somebody'sbirthday,or...

171.Well,it'smoreofananniversary.

172.The30thanniversaryofourgame,actually.

173.What?

Isthattoday?

174.Iknow!

175.I'msuchadummywithdates.

176.Anyway,uh,congratulations.

177.Thankyou,Ralph.Andtoyou,too.

178.Uh...

179.Hi.Justaheads-up,Felix.

180.They'rebringingoutthecakeinafewshakes.

181.Hey,Glen.-Ralph.

182.Cake?

Heardaboutthiscakestuff.

183.Neverhadit.

184.Nooneeverseemstothrowitoutsoitneverendsupinthedump.

185.Ineveractuallytastedit.Uh...

186.I'vealwayswantedtotrycake.

187.Idon'tsupposeyou'dliketocomeinandhaveaslice,wouldyou?

188.Hey-o,everybody!

Oh!

189.Ah!

190.I'mokay.I'mokay.Fitasafiddle.

191.Now,youallknowRalph.-Evening.

192.Evening,Nell,Lucy,Don,Dana...

193.Deanna.-BigGene!

194.Whyishehere?

195.He'sjusthereforasliceofcake.

196.AndI'mabigpartofthegame,

197.technicallyspeaking.

198.Whyareyouhere,Gene?

199.Oh,look!

Thecake!

200.Well,I'llbedipped.You'vereallyoutdoneyourself,Mary.

201.Oh,andlook!

There'sallofusatthetop.

202.Eachapartmentiseveryone'sfavoriteflavor.

203.Norwood'sisredvelvet.

204.Guilty!

205.AndlemonforLucy,rumcakeforGene,

206.andforFelix...-Hey,Mary.

207.Um...

208.What'stheflavorofthatmudthatI'mstuckinthere?

209.Hmm?

Oh.Chocolate.

210.I'veneverbeenrealfondofchocolate.

211.Well,Ididnotknowthat.

212.Oneotherlittlething.

213.Ihatetobepicky,butthisangrylittleguyhere...

214.Mycake!

-...mightbealothappier

215.ifyouputhimupherewitheveryoneelse.

216.Seethat?

Lookatthatsmile.

217.No,no.Yousee,Ralph,

218.there'snoroomforyouuphere.

219.Whataboutthis?

Wecanmakeroom.

220.Here.Wecouldtaketurns.Easy.

221.Howaboutwejusteatthecake?

222.Hangon.Felixneedstobeontheroofbecausehe'sabouttogethismedal!

223.ThenhowaboutwejusttakethatmedalandgiveittoRalphforonce?

224.Wouldthatbetheendoftheworld,Gene?

225.Nowyou'rejustbeingridiculous.

226.Onlygoodguyswinmedals,

227.andyou,sir,arenogoodguy.

228.IcouldbeagoodguyifIwantedto,

229.andIcouldwinamedal!

230.Uh-huh.Andwhenyoudo,comeandtalktous.

231.Thenwouldyoufinallyletmebeontopofthecakewithyouguys?

232.Ifyouwonamedal,

233.we'dletyouliveuphereinthepenthouse!

234.Butitwillneverhappenbecauseyou'rejustthebadguywhowrecksthebuilding.

235.No,I'mnot.

236.Yes,youare!

237.No,I'mnot!

238.Yes,youare.

239.Allright,Gene.Youknowwhat?

240.I'mgoingtowinamedal.

241.Oh,Iamgoingtowinamedal!

242.Theshiniestmedalthisplacehaseverseen!

243.AmedalthatwillbesogoodthatitwillmakeFelix'smedalswettheirpants!

244.Andgoodnight!

Thankyoufortheparty.

245.Isheserious?

-Oh,please!

246.Where'sabadguygoingtowinamedal?

247.Ofcoursehe'snotserious.

248.I'veneverbeenmoreseriousaboutanythinginmylife.

249.That'swhyIcamestraighthere,Tapper.

250.You'venevergivenmeabumsteer.

251.Now,comeon.Wherecanaguylikemegoandwina