TED英语演讲稿二十几岁不可挥霍的光阴附翻译.docx

TED英语演讲稿二十几岁不可挥霍的光阴附翻译.docx

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TED英语演讲稿二十几岁不可挥霍的光阴附翻译

TED英语演讲稿：

二十几岁不可挥霍的光阴（附翻译）

　　wheniwasinmy20s,isawmyveryfirstpsychotherapyclient.iwasaph.d.studentinclinicalpsychologyatberkeley.shewasa26-year-oldwomannamedalex.nowalexwalkedintoherfirstsessionwearingjeansandabigslouchytop,andshedroppedontothecouchinmyofficeandkickedoffherflatsandtoldmeshewastheretotalkaboutguyproblems.nowwheniheardthis,iwassorelieved.myclassmategotanarsonistforherfirstclient.（laughter）andigotatwentysomethingwhowantedtotalkaboutboys.thisithoughticouldhandle.

　　butididn'thandleit.withthefunnystoriesthatalexwouldbringtosession,itwaseasyformejusttonodmyheadwhilewekickedthecandowntheroad."thirty'sthenew20,"alexwouldsay,andasfarasicouldtell,shewasright.workhappenedlater,marriagehappenedlater,kidshappenedlater,evendeathhappenedlater.twentysomethingslikealexandihadnothingbuttime.

　　butbeforelong,mysupervisorpushedmetopushalexaboutherlovelife.ipushedback.

　　isaid,"sure,she'sdatingdown,she'ssleepingwithaknucklehead,butit'snotlikeshe'sgoingtomarrytheguy."

　　andthenmysupervisorsaid,"notyet,butshemightmarrythenextone.besides,thebesttimetoworkonalex'smarriageisbeforeshehasone."

　　that'swhatpsychologistscallan"aha!

"moment.thatwasthemomentirealized,30isnotthenew20.yes,peoplesettledownlaterthantheyusedto,butthatdidn'tmakealex's20sadevelopmentaldowntime.thatmadealex's20sadevelopmentalsweetspot,andweweresittingthereblowingit.thatwaswhenirealizedthatthissortofbenignneglectwasarealproblem,andithadrealconsequences,notjustforalexandherlovelifebutforthecareersandthefamiliesandthefuturesoftwentysomethingseverywhere.

　　thereare50milliontwentysomethingsintheunitedstatesrightnow.we'retalkingabout15percentofthepopulation,or100percentifyouconsiderthatnoone'sgettingthroughadulthoodwithoutgoingthroughtheir20sfirst.

　　raiseyourhandifyou'reinyour20s.ireallywanttoseesometwentysomethingshere.oh,yay!

y'all'sawesome.ifyouworkwithtwentysomethings,youloveatwentysomething,you'relosingsleepovertwentysomethings,iwanttosee—okay.awesome,twentysomethingsreallymatter.

　　soispecializeintwentysomethingsbecauseibelievethateverysingleoneofthose50milliontwentysomethingsdeservestoknowwhatpsychologists,sociologists,neurologistsandfertilityspecialistsalreadyknow:

thatclaimingyour20sisoneofthesimplest,yetmosttransformative,thingsyoucandoforwork,forlove,foryourhappiness,maybeevenfortheworld.

　　thisisnotmyopinion.thesearethefacts.weknowthat80percentoflife'smostdefiningmomentstakeplacebyage35.thatmeansthateightoutof10ofthedecisionsandexperiencesand"aha!

"momentsthatmakeyourlifewhatitiswillhavehappenedbyyourmid-30s.peoplewhoareover40,don'tpanic.thiscrowdisgoingtobefine,ithink.weknowthatthefirst10yearsofacareerhasanexponentialimpactonhowmuchmoneyyou'regoingtoearn.weknowthatmorethanhalfofamericansaremarriedorarelivingwithordatingtheirfuturepartnerby30.weknowthatthebraincapsoffitssecondandlastgrowthspurtinyour20sasitrewiresitselfforadulthood,whichmeansthatwhateveritisyouwanttochangeaboutyourself,nowisthetimetochangeit.weknowthatpersonalitychangesmoreduringyour20sthanatanyothertimeinlife,andweknowthatfemalefertilitypeaksatage28,andthingsgettrickyafterage35.soyour20sarethetimetoeducateyourselfaboutyourbodyandyouroptions.

　　sowhenwethinkaboutchilddevelopment,weallknowthatthefirstfiveyearsareacriticalperiodforlanguageandattachmentinthebrain.it'satimewhenyourordinary,day-to-daylifehasaninordinateimpactonwhoyouwillbecome.butwhatwehearlessaboutisthatthere'ssuchathingasadultdevelopment,andour20sarethatcriticalperiodofadultdevelopment.

　　butthisisn'twhattwentysomethingsarehearing.newspaperstalkaboutthechangingtimetableofadulthood.researcherscallthe20sanextendedadolescence.journalistscoinsillynicknamesfortwentysomethingslike"twixters"and"kidults."it'strue.asaculture,wehavetrivializedwhatisactuallythedefiningdecadeofadulthood.

　　leonardbernsteinsaidthattoachievegreatthings,youneedaplanandnotquiteenoughtime.isn'tthattrue?

sowhatdoyouthinkhappenswhenyoupatatwentysomethingontheheadandyousay,"youhave10extrayearstostartyourlife"?

nothinghappens.youhaverobbedthatpersonofhisurgencyandambition,andabsolutelynothinghappens.

　　andtheneveryday,smart,interestingtwentysomethingslikeyouorlikeyoursonsanddaughterscomeintomyofficeandsaythingslikethis:

"iknowmyboyfriend'snogoodforme,butthisrelationshipdoesn'tcount.i'mjustkillingtime."ortheysay,"everybodysaysaslongasigetstartedonacareerbythetimei'm30,i'llbefine."

　　butthenitstartstosoundlikethis:

"my20sarealmostover,andihavenothingtoshowformyself.ihadabetterrésuméthedayafterigraduatedfromcollege."

　　andthenitstartstosoundlikethis:

"datinginmy20swaslikemusicalchairs.everybodywasrunningaroundandhavingfun,butthensometimearound30itwaslikethemusicturnedoffandeverybodystartedsittingdown.ididn'twanttobetheonlyoneleftstandingup,sosometimesithinkimarriedmyhusbandbecausehewastheclosestchairtomeat30."

　　wherearethetwentysomethingshere?

donotdothat.

　　okay,nowthatsoundsalittleflip,butmakenomistake,thestakesareveryhigh.whenalothasbeenpushedtoyour30s,thereisenormousthirtysomethingpressuretojump-startacareer,pickacity,partnerup,andhavetwoorthreekidsinamuchshorterperiodoftime.manyofthesethingsareincompatible,andasresearchisjuststartingtoshow,simplyharderandmorestressfultodoallatonceinour30s.

　　thepost-millennialmidlifecrisisisn'tbuyingaredsportscar.it'srealizingyoucan'thavethatcareeryounowwant.it'srealizingyoucan'thavethatchildyounowwant,oryoucan'tgiveyourchildasibling.toomanythirtysomethingsandfortysomethingslookatthemselves,andatme,sittingacrosstheroom,andsayabouttheir20s,"whatwasidoing?

whatwasithinking?

"

　　iwanttochangewhattwentysomethingsaredoingandthinking.

　　here'sastoryabouthowthatcango.it'sastoryaboutawomannamedemma.at25,emmacametomyofficebecauseshewas,inherwords,havinganidentitycrisis.shesaidshethoughtshemightliketoworkinartorentertainment,butshehadn'tdecidedyet,soshe'dspentthelastfewyearswaitingtablesinstead.becauseitwascheaper,shelivedwithaboyfriendwhodisplayedhistempermorethanhisambition.andashardasher20swere,herearlylifehadbeenevenharder.sheoftencriedinoursessions,butthenwouldcollectherselfbysaying,"youcan'tpickyourfamily,butyoucanpickyourfriends."

　　welloneday,emmacomesinandshehangsherheadinherlap,andshesobbedformostofthehour.she'djustboughtanewaddressbook,andshe'dspentthemorningfillinginhermanycontacts,butthenshe'dbeenleftstaringatthatemptyblankthatcomesafterthewords"incaseofemergency,pleasecall...."shewasnearlyhystericalwhenshelookedatmeandsaid,"who'sgoingtobethereformeifigetinacarwreck?

who'sgoingtotakecareofmeifihavecancer?

"

　　nowinthatmoment,ittookeverythingihadnottosay,"iwill."butwhatemmaneededwasn'tsometherapistwhoreally,reallycared.emmaneededabetterlife,andiknewthiswasherchance.ihadlearnedtoomuchsinceifirstworkedwithalextojustsittherewhileemma'sdefiningdecadewentparadingby.

　　sooverthenextweeksandmonths,itoldemmathreethingsthateverytwentysomething,maleorfemale,deservestohear.

　　first,itoldemmatoforgetabouthavinganidentitycrisisandgetsomeidentitycapital.bygetidentitycapital,imeandosomethingthataddsvaluetowhoyouare.dosomethingthat'saninvestmentinwhoyoumightwanttobenext.ididn'tknowthefutureofemma'scareer,andnooneknowsthefutureofwork,butidoknowthis:

identitycapitalbegetsidentitycapital.sonowisthetimeforthatcross-countryjob,thatinternship,thatstartupyouwanttotry.i'mnotdiscountingtwentysomethingexplorationhere,butiamdiscountingexplorationthat'snotsupposedtocount,which,bytheway,isnotexploration.that'sprocrastination.itoldemmatoexploreworkandmakeitcount.

　　second,itoldemmathattheurbantribeisoverrated.bestfriendsaregreatforgivingridestotheairport,buttwentysomethingswhohuddletogetherwithlike-mindedpeerslimitwhotheyknow,whattheyknow,howtheythink,howtheyspeak,andwheretheywork.thatnewpieceofcapital,thatnewpersontodatealmostalwayscomesfromoutsidetheinnercircle.newthingscomefromwhatarecalledourweakties,ourfriendsoffriendsoffriends.soyes,halfoftwentysomethingsareun-orunder-employed.buthalfaren't,andweaktiesarehowyougetyourselfintothatgroup.halfofnewjobsareneverposted,soreachingouttoyourneighbor'sbossishowyougetthatun-postedjob.it'snotcheating.it'sthescienceofhowinformationspreads.

　　lastbutnotleast,emmabelievedthatyoucan'tpickyourfamily,butyoucanpickyourfriends.nowthiswastrueforhergrowingup,butasatwentysomething,soonemmawouldpickherfamilywhenshepartneredwithsomeoneandcreatedafamilyofherow