晨读美文人生如歌.docx
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晨读美文人生如歌
ABeautifulMemory
Er...theloveliesthousethatI'veeverlivedinwasone
thatIlivedinwithmygrandparentswhenIwasachild.
AndthenameofthehousewasCrosslands.
AndIhavesomeveryhappymemoriesofCrosslands.
Itwas,itseemed,sohugetomeasachild.
Andithadalovelylivingroomwithapianoinit
andalovelysortofhallwithlotsofcarpets
andchestsandantiquesandsoon.Andtherewasamysteriousroom,
itwasthedrawingroom,andweonlyuseditonSundays,
orwhenthevicarcamefortea,
orChristmasDayorEasterDay,
andIwasusedtobeamazedaboutthisroom
becauseithadthebestfurnitureinit
butitwascoveredupwithsheets-
itwasasifallthefurniturewaswearingclothes-
anditseemedtomeridiculous
thatwecouldn'tenjoythisbeautifulfurniture
alltheweekthroughreally.
Andprobablymyfavoriteroomwasthekitchen.
Ithadalovelyredflagstonefloor,
whichwasalwayshighlypolished,andanAga,
youknow,oneofthosebigcookers
thatheatsthewholeroomsoitwasalwayswarmthere,
andtherewasakindofclotheshorseaboveit
thatweusedtohangallourclotheson,
anditwasjustlovely.Itwasaverywarmroom
withbakedbreadandmygrandmotherusedtomakeicecream
andwe'deatitinthereand...
therewasavegetablegardenleadingfromthere
soIspentalotoftimeinthevegetablegarden
pickingpeasandeatingthem—mygrandmotherusedto
getreallycrosswithmebecauseIusedto
pickallthevegetablesandthefruitforourmeals
andthenI'deathalfofthem,
becausetheytastedsodeliciouscomingfreshfromthegarden.
Now,Iwentbacktoitafewyearsagoanditwasabigmistake.
They'vemodernizeditinside,
they'vegotridofthoselovelyoldfire-places...
havejustgone.Andthey'veknockedawalldown
sothedrawingroomandthelivingroomhave
becomeonebigmodernplastickindofroom.
ButIthinkwhatupsetmemostaboutitwasthefeeling
thatthehousehadshrunk,
ithadbecomesmallerandthatmymemoryof
thislovelylargewarmcomfortablehouse
hadturnedintoanoldhousewithmodernizedroomsinsideit.
Andittaughtmealessonreally,
thatyoucan'tgobackonthepastandrecaptureit.
Butthere'sabeautifulmemorythere.
Dad’sMandolin
Myfatherwasaself-taughtmandolinplayer.
Hewasoneofthebeststringinstrumentplayersinourtown.
Hecouldnotreadmusic,butifheheardatuneafewtimes,
hecouldplayit.Whenhewasyounger,
hewasamemberofasmallcountrymusicband.
Theywouldplayatlocaldancesandonafewoccasions
wouldplayforthelocalradiostation.
Heoftentoldushowhehadauditionedandearnedaposition
inabandthatfeaturedPatsyClineastheirleadsinger.
Hetoldthefamilythatafterhewashired
heneverwentback.Dadwasaveryreligiousman.
Hestatedthattherewasalotofdrinking
andcursingthedayofhisaudition
andhedidnotwanttobearoundthattypeofenvironment.
Occasionally,Dadwouldgetouthismandolin
andplayforthefamily.Wethreechildren:
Trisha,MonteandI,wouldoftensingalong.
SongssuchastheTennesseeWaltz,HarborLights
andaroundChristmastime,
thewell-knownrenditionofSilverBells.
“SilverBells,SilverBells,itsChristmastimeinthecity”
wouldringthroughoutthehouse.
Dadlovedtoplaythemandolinforhisfamily.
Heknewweenjoyedsinging,andhearinghimplay.
Hewaslikethat.Ifhecouldgivepleasuretoothers,
hewould,especiallyhisfamily.Hewasalwaysthere,
sacrificinghistimeandeffortstosee
thathisfamilyhadenoughintheirlife.
Ihadtomatureintoamanandhavechildrenofmyown
beforeIrealizedhowmuchhehadsacrificed.
InAugustof1993myfatherwasdiagnosed
withinoperablelungcancer.
Hechosenottoreceivechemotherapytreatments
sothathecouldliveouttherestofhislifeindignity.
Aboutaweekbeforehisdeath,
weaskedDadifhewouldplaythemandolinforus.
Hemadeexcusesbutsaid“okay”.
Heknewitwouldprobablybethelasttime
hewouldplayforus.
Hetuneduptheoldmandolinandplayedafewnotes.
WhenIlookedaround,therewasnotadryeyeinthefamily.
Wesawbeforeusaquiethumblemanwithaninnerstrength
thatcomesfromknowingGod,andlivingwithhiminone'slife.
Dadwouldneverplaythemandolinforusagain.
Wefeltatthetimethathewouldn'thaveenoughstrengthtoplay,
andthatmakesthememoryofthatdayevenstronger.
Dadwasdoingsomethinghehaddoneallhislife,giving.
Assickashewas,hewasstillpleasingothers.
Dadsurecouldplaythatmandolin!
EnteringtheNewRoomofYourLife
Itmustbeoneofthemostfrequentlyaskedquestions
intheEnglishlanguage—
“Whatdoyouwanttobewhenyougrowup?
”
Andformostofustheanswerissimple—
“Idon'tknow.”Andthat'sjustfine.
Forteenagersallovertheworlditisdifficulttoimagine
lifeoutsidethefamiliarschoolgrounds
andcomfortablefamilyhome.
Butwhentheuniversityentranceexamsfinish
andhigh-schoolgraduationwrapsup,
itistimetomoveontoawholenewstage
inone'slife—adulthood.
Onedaywhenyouare40,youmaylookbackonyourlife
andwonderexactlyhowyoubecameanadult.
Whendidyouchange?
Quiteoftentheanswerwilllie
betweenyourfirstdayofuniversity
andthefirstdayofyourprofessionalcareer.
Whileyoucannotpinpointanexacttime,
somewhereinthe“roommatedays”or“dormdays”
youlearntthingsfarmorevaluablethananything
youcouldlearninaclassroom.
Foritisinthistimewelearnindependence-
MumandDadcan'ttakecareofyouanymore;
responsibility—youhavetocleanyourownbedroom
andmakeyourownmeals;maturity—
suddenlyjokingabout“girl'sgerms”doesn'tseemsofunny
whenyouactuallyhaveagirlfriendorboyfriend;
respect—youshouldtakecareofJohn'scomputer,
hespentalotofmoneyonit;andbudgeting—
shouldyouspendyourlast$50onnewshoesorpizza?
Andabigpartoftheliving-away-from-homeprocess
iscommunication.High-classcelebritiesand
highlypaidpsychologistsarealwaystellingus,
tofixourrelationshipproblems,
“thekeyiscommunication.”
Andnothingcanprovidebettertrainingin
developingcommunicationthanlivingwithotherpeople.
“Whosedirtysocksarethese?
”
“Whereisyourshareoftherentmoney?
”
“Let'shaveapartyonFridaynight!
”
“IthinkI'mgoingtobreak-upwithmyboyfriend.”
Thisspecialperiodoftimeisguaranteedto
makeyoufeeleveryemotionpossible,
butatthesametimeitwillprovideyou
withthebestmemoriesyoucouldeverdreamof.
Whenthe“dormdays”cometoanend,
wefinallyknowwherewebelongintheworld.
Andfinally,weknowexactlywhatwewanttobewhenwegrowup.
FailureisaGoodThing
Lastweek,mygrand-daughterstartedkindergarten,
andIwishedhersuccess.Iwaslying.
WhatIactuallywishforherisfailure.
Ibelieveinthepoweroffailure.
Successisboring.Successisproving
thatyoucandosomethingthatyoualreadyknowyoucando,
ordoingsomethingcorrectlythefirsttime,
whichcanoftenbeaproblematicvictory.
First-timesuccessisusuallyafluke.
First-timefailure,bycontrast,isexpected;
itisthenaturalorderofthings.
Failureishowwelearn.IhavebeentoldofanAfricanphrase
describingagoodcookas“shewhohasbrokenmanypots”.
Ifyou'vespentenoughtimeinthekitchento
havebrokenalotofpots,
probablyyouknowalotaboutcooking.
Ioncehadadinnerwithagroupofchefs,
andtheyspenttimecomparingknifewounds
andburnscars.Theyknewhowmuchcredibility
theirfailuresgavethem.
Iearnmylivingbywritingadailynewspapercolumn.
EachweekIamawarethatonecolumn
isgoingtobetheworstcolumn.
Idon'tsetouttowriteit;Itrymybesteveryday.
Ihavelearnedtocherishthatcolumn.
Asuccessfulcolumnusuallymeans
thatIamtreadingonfamiliarground,
goingwiththetricksthatworkordressingup
popularsentimentsinfancywords.
Ofteninmyinferiorcolumns,
Iamtryingtopulloffsomething
I'veneverdonebefore,
somethingI'mnotevensurecanbedone.
Myyoungerdaughterisatrapezeartist.
Shespentthreeyearsputtingtogetheranact.
Shediditsuccessfullyforyears.
Therewasnoreasonforhertochangetheact—
butshedidanyway.Shesaidshewasnolonger
learninganythingnewandshewasbored.
Soshechangedtheact.Sheriskedfailure
andprofoundpublicembarrassmentinordertofeedhersoul.
Mygranddaughterisaperfectionist.
Shewillfeelherfailures,
andIwillwanttocomforther.ButIwillalso,
Ihope,remindherofwhatshelearned,
andhowshecandowhateveritisbetternexttime.
IhopeIcantellher,though,
thatit'snottheendoftheworld.
Indeed,withluck,itisthebeginning.
FreeUpTimetoDoWhatYouLoveMost
TwoyearsagoShirleyMichelsofSt.Louisfoundherself
gettingupearlierandearlier,
andgoingtobedlaterandlater,
justtomeeteverydaydemands.
Thewife,motherandophthalmictechnician
metherresponsibilities,butlackedtimeforthethings
thatmatteredmost.Sheandherhusband,Vic,anattorney,
begansearchingforwaystosimplifytheirlives.
“Wehadtodecidewhatwasreallyimportant.”
saysShirley.Theyknewtheywantedmoretime
toplaywiththeirthree-year-oldson,Ryan,
toexerciseandeatright,andtonurturefriendships.
Sothecouplechosetolivemoremodestly,
shoppingwithcarefornecessities
andenjoyinginexpensivepleasuressuchasreading,
cookingandgoingtothepark.
Shirleyquitherjobandbeganworkingparttimefromhome.
Sheprintedupbusinesscardsthatread
“Atyourservicebuyyourselfalittletime”
andhiredherselfoutforpersonaltaskssuchassho