SOUTH PARK909.docx

SOUTH PARK909.docx

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SOUTHPARK909

SOUTHPARK

9X09-MARJORINE

OriginalAirdate（COM）:

26-OCT-2005

WRITTENBYMATTSTONE&TREYPARKER

DIRECTEDBYMATTSTONE&TREYPARKER

TRANSCRIPTPROVIDEDBY"TWIZTV.COM"

ORIGINALLYTRANSCRIBEDFORTHESOUTHPARKSCRIPTORIUM

==========================

DISCLAIMER:

==========================

"SOUTHPARK"andotherrelatedentitiesareowned,（TM）and?

byTREYPARKER&MATTSTONEviaCOMEDYCENTRALandCOMEDYPARTNERSinassociationwithIMPORTANTTELEVISION.Thistranscriptispostedherewithouttheirpermission,approval,authorizationorendorsement.Anyreproduction,duplication,distributionordisplayofthismaterialinanyformorbyanymeansisexpresslyprohibited.Itisabsolutelyforbiddentouseitforcommercialgain.Forentertainmentandeducationalpurposesonly.Noinfringementintended.

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SUMMARY:

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The4thgradegirlsarehavingasleepover.It抯imperativethattheboysfindoutwhatgoesonbehindthosecloseddoors.Buttersispickedtobetheboywhomustfakehisdeath,becomeagirlandinfiltratethisage-oldfemininetradition.Ashisparentsdabbleinthedarkartsinanefforttobringhimbacktolife,Buttersthinkshemightlikebeingagirl.

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TRANSCRIPT:

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[Cartman'sbasement,afternoon.Thefourthgradeboysareseatedatalargeconferencetable.StanandKylecomedownthestairsandseetherestoftheboys.Attableare,counterclockwise,Clyde,Kevin,Token,Craig,ablondboy,Butters,ablack-hairedboy,Timmy,abrown-hairedboy,Tweek,andKenny.]

Kyle:

Whatareyouguysalldoinghere?

Clyde:

Idon'tknow,I,IgotthisemergencyletterfromCartman,whosaidtomeetinhisbasement?

[showstheletter]

Stan:

Yeah,ustoo.[pullsouthisownandlooksatit]

Cartman:

[closesthedoorandcomesdownstairs]Ah,gentlemen,thankyouforcoming.[dropssomepapersonthetable]Wedon'thavealotoftime,soI'llcuttothechase:

Thegirlsatourschoolhavebeenhidingsomethingfromus!

Hidingsomethinghuge...

Craig:

What?

Cartman:

WhatifIweretotellyou...thatthegirlshaveadevice...whichallowsthemtosee...intothefuture?

Stan:

What?

?

Butters:

Howdoyouknow?

Kyle:

Thegirlsdonothaveadevicethatshowsthemthefuture,Cartman!

That'sretarded!

Clyde:

[inanEnglishaccent.Cartmanlookson,startled]You,sir,mockedCartmanbefore,yetyoutwositheredemandinganswers!

[bangsonthetalbletwicewithhisfist]Nowdamnyoulethimspeak!

Cartman:

[afewsecondslater]Thankyou,Clyde.[Clydefoldshisarmsonthetableanddropshisheadonthen]Aaaagh,I'mafraidit'strue.[CartmanwalksovertotheTVcartandpullsittowardsthetable]Uh,IsecretlyvideotapedthegirlsontheplaygroundyesterdayusingmyWellingtonBearvideocamera.[whipsthatout]Icaughtthefollowingimagesontape.[transfersthetapefromcameratoplayer]Iwarnyou,theseimagesmaybetooshockingforyoungchildren.

Butters:

Ohokay,I'mnotlookin'.[burieshisfaceinhisarms]

Cartman:

VideoPlaybackInitialized!

[pressesplayontheremotecontrolandthescreenshowsthegirlsplaying]

Bebe:

Cool!

[thecamerazoomsinonher]Okay,myturn,myturn!

Domenow!

Girl:

OkayBebe,whatdoyouwanttoknow?

Bebe:

IwanttoknowifIwanttoliveinabigmansioninthefuture.

Girl:

Okay,let'sfindout.Ready?

[pullsoutapaperfortumeteller]Pickanumber.

Bebe:

[off-screen]Four!

Girl:

[opensthetelleroneway,thentheother,twice]Onetwothreefour.Okay,pickacolor.

Bebe:

Blue!

Girl:

[repeats]BLUE.Allright,pickanothercolor.

Bebe:

Red!

Girl:

'Kaaay.Okay,willBebeliveinabigmansioninthefuture?

[opensaninteriorflap]Definitelyyes!

Bebe:

Allright!

Girls:

Woohoo!

Yourock,Bebe!

Boys:

Whoa!

Wow!

Red:

Domenext.IwannaknowifI'mgonnamarrysomebodycute.

Heidi:

I'lldoit!

I'lldoit!

[takesthetellerfromtheothergirl]Pickanumber.

Red:

Three!

Heidi:

[workstheteller]Onetwothree.Nooow,pickacolor.

Clyde:

Wheredidtheygetthatthing?

[Kyleshusheshim]

Heidi:

GREEN

Red:

Nowblue!

Heidi:

Theanswerisno.[thegirlslaughather]

Red:

Awdangit!

Stan:

[mystified]OhmyGod,howdoesitknowtheanswer?

Craig:

I...don'tbelieveit.

Cartman:

Believeit!

Thegirlscanaskitanyquestiontheywantanditgivesthemananswer.Freezeimage!

[pressesthepausebuttonandturnstothetable]Gemtemen,wehavetogetourhandsonthatdevice.

[Cartman'sbackyard,day.Theboysbeginsettingupacontainmenttent.Token,Jason,andKennyusepulleystopullthecurtainsuparoundthem.Craigandtheblondboypullupachalkboardonwhichispostedpicturesofgirlstokeepsurveillanceon.Someonerollsoutblueprintsofthefortuneteller.Otherboysperformtheirtasks]

Cartman:

[arrivesatClydeandKevin'stable]Howistheincubationshieldcoming,Clyde?

Clyde:

It'sallset.Oncewehavethedevice,itcanbehousedinheresafelyuntilweknowwhatwe'redealingwith.

Cartman:

Goodman.[goesovertoacomputerClyde,Token,andKyleareworkingon]Anyluckhere?

Kyle:

Theoutsideofthedeviceseemstobecoveredinnumerals.Insidearecolors...whichmustopenupsomesortoftemporaltimewall.

Cartman:

Good.Keepworking.Wewanttoknowallwecanbeforewetrytooperateit.[movestothecenterofthetent]Allright,gentlemen,ourcontainmentcenterforthetimewallisnearlycomplete.Allthat'sleftforustodoisgetthedevicefromthegirlsandbringithere.

Craig:

Let'sgotakeit.

Cartman:

Don'tbeafool,Craig.Doyoureallythinkthegirlsarejustgonnahandthattechnologyover?

Stan:

Sowhatdoyousuggest?

Cartman:

HeidiTurner[turnsonaprojectoronwhichisshownherpicture]isgoingtohaveaslumberpartyonThursdaynight.There'snodoubtinmymindthegirlswillbeusingthefuture-tellingdevicethere.Ifwe...cangetsomebodyinvitedtothatslumberparty,notonlycanwegetaholdofthedevice,but,findouthowtouseit.

Stan:

Yeah,there'sjustoneproblem:

aboycan'tgotoachicks'slumberparty.

Cartman:

No,notaboy,butagirl.Oneofusisgonnahavetogoundercover,showupinschooltomorrowdisguisedasthenewgirlwhojustmovedtotown.

Kevin:

Youmeanlikethatmovie,JuwannaMann?

Cartman:

No,notlikeJuwannaMann,Kevin,okay?

!

It'swaycoolerthanthat!

Stan:

Butifoneofuspretendstobethenewgirlinclass,thegirlswillwonderwherethatboywent.

Cartman:

Whichiswhywehavetofakethatboy'sdeath.It'ssimplespystuff,myfriends.Takeyourtopman,fakehisdeatk,thensendhimindisguisedastheenemy.[smiles]

Kyle:

That'saprettysolididea.Butwho?

[TheStotchhouse,night.Apatrolcarstopsandtwopoliceofficersarriveatthefrontdoor.Theofficerontheleftknocks.]

BrunetOfficer:

Mr.andMrs.Stotch?

Stephen:

Yes?

Whatisit,officer?

BrunetOfficer:

You'dbettercomequick.

BlondOfficer:

YoursonisattheBoweryBuildingthreateningtokillhimself.

Linda:

What?

?

?

[TheBoweryBuilding.PoliceandpeoplearegatheredonthegroundandtwospotlightsshineonButters,who'sstandingontheroof'sedge,readytofall.Anambulanceispresent]

BrunetOfficer:

Don'tdoit,son!

Youhavetoomuchtolivefor!

[anotherpatrolcarpullsupandouthopsButters'parents]

Linda:

OhmyGod,Butters!

Buitters:

Ohuh,hiMom.

Cartman:

[Ontheroofbehindhim]Justkeepstalling,Butters.Wedon'thavethedeadpigquitereadyyet.[Clyde,CraigandStandressthepigwhileCartmanmakesaButtersmaskforit.]

Butters:

Un,uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Stephen:

[grabsthebullhornfromanofficer]Butters?

Butters,whateveristroublngyou,thisisn'ttheanswer!

Lookatallthesepeoplewho'vecomeoutforyou!

Justcomedownnow,son,and...wepromisewewon'tgroundyouformorethanacoupleofweeks.

Butters:

N'awgeez!

NowI'mgonnagetgrounded,too.

Cartman:

Okay,it'sready!

Stepdown,Butters!

[thepigisdone,Buttersstepsdown,andthepigisshovedintoplace]

Linda:

He,h-he'scomingdown!

OhthankGod!

BrunetOfficer:

No,wait,whatwhat'shedoing?

?

[theblondoneishorrified.TheButtersmaskappearsovertheledge]

Cartman:

Okay.One!

Two!

BrunetOfficer:

JEEESUSCHRIST!

[Lindascreams.Thepigdropstothegroundandexplodes,splatteringeveryonearoundwithbloodandguts.]

Linda:

OHHHHMYGOD!

!

Doctor:

He...didn'tmakeit.

Linda:

NOOOOOO!

!

NOOOOOO!

!

MysonisDEEAAD!

!

NOOOOOO!

!

Cartman:

Nice.

[SouthParkCemetery,night]

Fr.Maxi:

Andheshallberememberedasthepeacefullittleboywhowarmedhisparent'shearts.[Lindasobsuncontrollably]Lord,aswecommitthischild'sbodytotheearth,mayweaskitbethelastchildyoustrikedownsomercilessly.Weknowthisrequesttobefutile,Lord,butjustthoughtwewouldask.[thecasketislowered]

Linda:

NOOOOOO!

!

NOOOOOO!

!

BUTTERS!

!

[jumpsonthecasket]NOOOOOO!

!

Don'tputhimdownthere!

!

Don'tputhimdownthere!

!

[SouthParkElementary,fourthgrade,day.Thekidstaketheirseatsandchat.Ms.Garrisonenterswithbooksandhispurse]

Ms.Garrison:

Okaychildren,let'stakeourseats.NowIknowthatwe'reallstillindeep,deepmourningoverthetragicdeathofourclassmate,Butters.

Red:

Who'sButters?

Ms.Garrison:

Butweallmusttrytomvoeon.AndsoI'dlikeyoutohelpmewelcomeanewstudentwhohasjustmovedherefromDallas.Children,pleasesayhelloto...Marjorine.[Buttersentersdressedasablondgirl,withthewig