Desperate Housewives 2x02 You Could Drive a Person Crazy.docx

Desperate Housewives 2x02 You Could Drive a Person Crazy.docx

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DesperateHousewives2x02YouCouldDriveaPersonCrazyDesperateHousewivesEpisode2x02YouCouldDriveaPersonCrazy-MaryAliceVoiceover:

PreviouslyonDesperateHousewives-Lynette:

Whyonearthwouldyouletthemfingerpaintbeforebreakfast?

Tom:

Itsmyjobtocleanthatup,soitsmycall.MaryAliceVoiceover:

Somehouseholdsreversedroles.Karl:

Letsgivethisanothershot.MaryAliceVoiceover:

Someoldflames.Susan:

Youwantmeback?

Karl:

Yeah.MaryAliceVoiceover:

.wereputout.Dr.Craig:

Ithastobesomethingyoureingesting.Whopreparesyourmeals?

IunderstandyouvebeenhavingsomemaritalproblemsMaryAliceVoiceover:

.andwhilesomelearntoforgive.Mike:

Deirdregotpregnantbeforeiwenttojail.Susan:

Zachisyourson,isnthe?

Mike:

Yep.Susan:

Wow.MaryAliceVoiceover:

Otherscouldnotbringthemselvestoforgettheirpast.EndofRecap-WisteriaLane-Daytime（Ayoungboyonabicycleinthemiddleofthestreetdeliversnewspapers.）MaryAliceVoiceover:

TheremarkablethingaboutDannyFarrellwasthathehadonlybeenapaperboyforsixmonths.Andinthattime,hehadbecometheenemyofeverywomanonWisteriaLane.Iftherewasapuddleonsomeonesproperty,hefoundit.（FlashbacktoDannytossinganewspaperintoasmallpuddle.GabriellelooksdownatthepaperinthewaterandlookstowardDannyinanger.）MaryAliceVoiceover:

Ifanewrosebushhadjustbeenplanted,hedestroyedit.（FlashbacktoDannytossinganewspaperdirectlyintoarosebushwithyellowflowersbendingtheblooms.BreeseesthedestroyedflowersandlookstowardtheretreatingDannywithdisgustandanger.）MaryAliceVoiceover:

Ifacatwasenjoyingamomentinthesun,heendedit.（FlashbacktoDannytossinganewspaperrightnexttoacatonthelawn.Thecatisstartledandtakesoff.IdaGreenbergseesthenewspaperonthelawnthatfrightenedhercatandlookstowardthepaperboyinanger.）MaryAliceVoiceover:

PeoplewonderedifDannywouldeverchange.（Dannypullsapaperoutofhisvest,anditfallsintothestreet.Helooksatit,shrugs,andcontinuesbikingdownthestreet.）MaryAliceVoiceover:

TheyshouldhavetalkedtoSusanMayer.（Susancomesoutherdoorinherrobeholdingacupofcoffee.SheseeshernewspaperlyinginthemiddleofthestreetwhereDannyhaddroppedit.Shesetshercoffeedownandstartstowardthemiddleofthestreet.）MaryAliceVoiceover:

Shecouldhavetoldthem:

obnoxiousboystendtobecomeobnoxiousmen.（Susanbendstopickupherpaperandhearsadooropen.ShelooksupatEdiesnewlybuilthouseandseesherex-husbandKarlcomeoutinhisboxershortsandarobe,searchingforthepaper.）MaryAliceVoiceover:

Justliketheoneshehadbeenmarriedto.（SusanrushesovertoEdieshouse.）Susan:

Hey!

Karl,Iseeyou.Juststoprightthere!

（Karlpicksupthenewspaperandbeginswalkingbacktothehouse.HestopswhenhehearsSusanyelling.）Karl:

Hey,SusieQ.Susan:

Whatareyoudoing?

Karl:

JustgettinthepaperSusan:

ThatsEdiespaper,andthisisEdieshouse!

Karl:

Dowehavetodothisnow?

Ihaventhadmycoffeeyet.Susan:

DidyouspendthenightwithEdie?

Oh,mygod!

Karl:

Susie,justcalmdown.Susan:

Youareforbiddenfromeverseeingheragain.Doyouhearme?

Forbidden!

Karl:

Weredivorced.YoucanttellmewhoIcandate.Susan:

Iliveonthisstreet.Yourdaughterlivesonthisstreet.Iwillnothaveyouflauntingyoursexcapadesinfrontofus.Karl:

Sexcapades?

Susan:

Forbidden!

Karl:

I,I,Iwouldlovetocontinuethis,butitstimeforbreakfast,andEdieismakingmeaFrittata.Susan:

Well,Ijustbetsheis!

（SusanstormsbacktowardherhouseasKarlgoesbackintoEdieshouse.Dannypullsupbehindheronhisbicycle.）Danny:

Mrs.Mayer,Igottatalktoyou!

Susan:

Oh,nowisnotagoodtime,Danny.Danny:

Youreamonthbehindinyourpayments.Susan:

Illtakecareofit,Ipromise.Danny:

Mydadsays,ifyoureadsomethinganddontpayforit,thatsthesameasstealing.（SusancontinuesstormingbacktoherhouseasDannypedalsbesideheryelling.IdaGreenberg,acrossthestreetpushinghergrocerycart,stopstowatchthescene.）Susan:

Hi,Ida.（toDanny）Canwetalkaboutthislater?

Ijustfoundoutmyexisdatingmyneighbor,andImreallytickedoff.Danny:

Saveit!

Iprovideyouaservice,andIdeservetobepaidforthatservice.（SusanwatchesDannybikeaway.）MaryAliceVoiceover:

Yes,thewomenofWisteriaLanebelieveDannyFarrelltobetheenemy.（DannyturnsbacktowardSusanashebikesawayandyells.）Danny:

Deadbeat!

（SusanthrowsthenewspapersheisholdingtowardtheretreatingDanny.Thenewspaperfliesthroughtheairandendsupinthefrontspokesofthebike.ThebikestopsabruptlyandDannypitchesforward,flyingoverthehandlebars.）（Susangasps.ShelooksguiltilytowardIda.）MaryAliceVoiceover:

Theyalsobelievedtheenemyofmyenemyismyfriend.（IdagivesSusanathumbsup.Susansmiles.）-OpeningCredits-WisteriaLane-DaytimeMaryAliceVoiceover:

Beautifullawns,spacioushomes,happyfamilies.Thesearethehallmarksofsuburbia.Butifyoulookbeneaththeveneerofgraciousliving.（Ayoungwomanopenshergaragewitharemote.Thedoorstickshalfway,thengoesbackdown.）MaryAliceVoiceover:

.youwillseeabattleraging,abattleforcontrol.（Theyoungladyhitstheremotehardseveraltimes,butthedoorcontinuestogoupanddownonlyhalfway.）MaryAliceVoiceover:

Youseethecombatantseverywhere,engagedintheirroutineskirmishes.（Boysplayballonanicely-keptfrontyard.Amancomesoutyellingatthem.）Man:

Hey,keepoffthegrass!

Goon,getouttahere!

（Childrenarewaitingonthesidewalkonthewaytoschool.AcrossingguardentersthestreetwithaStopsign.Acargoeswhizzingby.Anothercarhonks.）MaryAliceVoiceover:

.fightingfiercelytohavedominionovertheworldaroundthem.CrossingGuard:

You!

Oaf!

（TheguardthrowstheStopsignatthepassingcar.）-LynettesHouseMaryAliceVoiceover:

Allthewhileknowing.itsabattletheywilllose.（Lynettecomesdownstairswithhercoffeecup.Shewalkstothekitchensinkandseesitisfullofdirtydishes.Tomissittingatadirtykitchentabledoingacrosswordpuzzle.Parkerisalsosittingatthetable.PennyisinherhighchairnexttoTom.）Tom:

Oh,hey,honey,um,juststickthatanywhere.Illtakecareofit.Lynette:

Wow.Itsreallypilinup.Tom:

Oh,uh,dontworry.Ihaveasystem.Lynette:

Really?

Tom:

Yeah,everytwodays,Iclean.Lynette:

Twodays.Tom:

Yeah,Iletthemessaccumulatefortwodays,andthenIcleanuntilitssparkling,andthen,uh,thecyclestartsalloveragain.Lynette:

AndwhyhaveIneverseenthesparklingpart?

Tom:

Well,becausebythetimeyougethomefromwork,theboyshavemessedeverythingupagain.Lynette:

See,thatswhatIwouldcallaflawinthesystem.Tom:

Whatareyoudoing?

Lynette:

IthinkImaskingyoutocleanthehouse.Tom:

Really?

Causeitsoundstomelikeyourecriticizingme.Lynette:

No.No,no,no,no.No.Imnotsayingithastobesparkling.Tom:

HowmanytimesdidIcomehometoamessandIneversaidaword?

Lynette:

Please,donttakethisthewrongway.Ithinkyouaredoingaterrificjob,butletsbeclear.Whenyoucamehome,itwastoclutter.Imean,comeon,thisismorethanthat.（Lynettepicksupadishwithaforkstucktoit.Abuggoesscurryingacrossthetable.LynettehitsitwiththeWallStreetJournalsheisholding.）-PashmuttisDryCleaners（BreeandPhyllisarestandingatthecounterwaitingasMr.Pashmuttiishandingdrycleaningtotwoladies.Hechatswiththem.）Phyllis:

Lookathim,justchattingaway.Soinconsiderate.Bree:

Phyllis,weveonlybeenwaitingherefortwominutes.Phyllis:

ItoldyouwhenweleftthehousethatIneededtoeat.Ihavelowbloodsugar.Doyouwannaseemekeelover?

Bree:

No.Intheory.（Mr.PashmuttihandsBreeherdrycleaning.）Mr.Pashmutti:

Hereyouare.Bree:

Thankyou.Mr.Pashmutti:

Bytheway,Mrs.VandeKamp,Iheardaboutyourhusbandspassing.Imsosorry.Dr.VandeKampwasoneofmyfavoritecustomers,truly.Bree:

Thatsverysweetofyou.Thankyou.Mr.Pashmutti:

Imnotjustbeingpolite,Mrs.VandeKamp.Howareyoufeeling?

Bree:

Well,Mr.Pashmutti-Phyllis:

Wereholdingupasbestwecanunderthecircumstances.Bree:

Imsorry.Thisis,uh,Rexsmother,Phyllis.Mr.Pashmutti:

Imsosorryaboutyourson.Phyllis:

Thankyou.Youknow,thehardestthingistoloseachild.Mr.Pashmutti:

Icantevenimagine.Bree:

Comeon,Phyllis.Letsgetyousomethingtoeat.Phyllis:

Wehadnowarning.IwasdoingdisheswhenIgotthecall.Mr.Pashmutti:

Really?

Bree:

Phyllis,therearepeoplewaiting,so.（Breewalksaway.Phyllisstaysputandbeginstalkingtothepeopleinline.）Phyllis:

Excuseme.I,Imsosorry,butmysonjustpassedaway.Stranger:

Oh,Imsosorry.Phyllis:

Thankyou.Imean,IwastellingMr.Pashmuttihere,mylifeis,isover.Mylifeisover!

（Mr.PashmuttiandtheotherslookonsympatheticallyasPhyllissobs.Breeshakesherhead.）-JailVisitingRoom（GabriellesitsacrossfromCarlosatalongvisitorstable.Alsoatthetableareotherprisonerswiththeirvisitors.Carloshasacheckbookinfrontofhimonthetable.）Gabrielle:

Thisisridiculous,youknowthat?

Carlos:

Pen.（Shehandshimapen.）Gabrielle:

DontyouthinkIhavebetterthingstodothantobringyoucheckseveryday?

ChecksthatIcouldbesigningathome?

（Hehandsthepenback.）Carlos:

Thisonesdry.（Shepullsanotheronefromherpurseandhandsittohim.）Gabrielle:

Youknow,takingawaymyaccesstoouraccount,thatsjustvindictive.Carlos:

Thankyou.Gabrielle:

Doyouknowhowlongittakesmetoschlepoutheretothishellhole?

Carlos:

Exactly.ItstheonlywayIcanguaranteeyoullcomeandvisitme.Gabrielle:

Thatsridiculous.Youremyhusband.Iloveyou.Obviously,Iwouldcomevisit.Carlos:

Ithoughtitwasobviousthatwhenyoulovesomeone,youwouldnthaveanaffair.Iwaswrong,wasntI?

Gabrielle:

Imgettingreallytiredofthissong,Carlos.Isntitabouttimeyouforgaveme?

Carlos:

Youwantmyforgiveness,yougotit.Mytrust,thatyouregonnahavetoearn.Gabrielle:

Becareful,Carlos.Upuntilnow,Ivebeenreallylonelyin