the names.docx

the names.docx

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thenames

AdamThorpe

THENAMES

Today,Ismashedthebottle.

Idroveoutatdawn（thoughthesunhadneverset）toafoldofthemountainsnearKiruna,toaspottheSamitraditionallyholdsacred,andplacedthebottleonarockandshotittosmithereenswithmyfather’shuntinggun.Iwascarefultocollectthefragmentsinaplasticbag,forfearthedeermightcatchthemintheirhoofs.

Islippedthefragmentsintoabinbythestation.Judgingfromthehollowcrash,thebinwasempty.Icutmyforefinger,butitisnotserious.

Weknowsolittleaboutanything,butnoonebelievesthis.Ifonlypeoplewouldbelievethisonesimpletruth,wemightbeginagain,likeaproperdawn.

*

WhentheSStroopscameintoValdaron,lookingfortheResistanceboysinCampIV,theyaskedifsomeonecouldtakethemtothefarmhousecalledLesPins.Moreprecisely,theybootedopenthedoorofthecaféandpointedtheirgunsintothesilence.ThenthecaptainbarkedouttherequestinpoorFrench,mispronouncingthename.

TheyemergedfromthecaféwithHubertCros,agednineteen.HubertworkedatthetanneryontheriveratStMaurice.ThereasonhewasnotinGermanyasaforcedlabourerwashisrighthand:

itwaswithered.Hehadbeenbornlikethat.Youhavenoideahowlongittookmetodiscoverthatfact.

Hubertwasameekyoungman,whohadspentmostofhisshortlifeputtingupwithjibesabouthisdeformity.Hisgreatestwishwastowakeuponemorningwithaperfectrighthand.HewasnotamemberoftheResistance;manylocalsviewedtheResistance,inanycase,asabandofleft-wingtroublemakers,disturbersofwhateverpeacehadbeenleftbytheoccupyingforces.Hekepthisheaddown,somethinghisnineteenyearshadalreadytaughthimtodo.

Buthedidknowtheareaaswellasanyone–heknewitsthickestwoods,itsobscurestpaths,itshighestpeaks.LikemostmeninValdaron,hehunted.Hehadhuntedwithhisfatherfromtheageofseven.Healsosetbird-traps.Despitethisactivity,onecansaythathelovednature.Heloveditbecauseittookhimawayfromthosewhofoundinhimabuttfortheirjokesandintoaworldinwhichhecouldfeelproudtobewhohewas.Helikedtostandinawood,aloneandfree,untilpeacehadsettledonitagain.Thentherustlingsandthebirdsongwouldstarttoreturn,andhewouldfeelacontentmenthefeltnowhereelse.

BeingSwedish,broughtupinVarmland,Icanunderstandthisfeelingfortheforest;eventotheextentofstillsensingthepossibilityofbears,whentheonlybearsinVarmlandarenowinthezoo.MaybewhatIamsensingisthebears’collectivephantom,asonesensesthedeadonanoldbattlefield.Icanstillhearmyfathertellingvisitors:

ifyouseeabear,sing.Ifitcarriesoncomingtowardsyou,liedowninafoetalposition.

Noteverydangerinlifecanbesotreated,alas.Leastofalldeathitself.

*

TheGermansdrovewithHubertupthelongtrackwaythatrunsalongthesideofarangeofhillsfromthetopofwhich,onaclearday,youcanseeboththeAlpsandtheMediterranean.Idoubtthatanyofthesoldiersknewthis,orwereinterested:

Ihavenorealideawhatwaspassingthroughthemindsofthosemenastheymadetheirwayinhalf-tracktroopcarrierstothefarmhouse.Perhapsfear,perhapshatred,perhapssomethingwewillneverunderstandbutthatsits,darkanddreadful,inallofus.

OnethingIdoknow:

theyhadsetoutfromtheirbaseinNîmesattwoo’clockinthemorning,withtherestofthe9thPanzerDivision,Waffen-SS.ItwasFebruary,thecoldmadeworsebythedrivingrain.Theyhadpenetrateddeeplyintoaconfusinglabyrinthofdarkgreenhillsandmountains,fromwhichatanymomenttheycouldexpectbulletsorexplosivesfromthehundredsoreventhousandsofconcealedterrorists.Inreality,ofcourse,therewasonlyaragtagscatteringofunshavenyoungmen,whosemainmethodofkeepingwarmwastoscratchattheirfleas.

Ialsoimaginethateverybumpandbendintherough,unmetalledroadswasanirritationtothesetroops,drivingvehiclesthatweresuperiortotheterrain,thatcrushedeverythingintheirpathwiththeircaterpillartracksandhugefronttyres,thatweremadetobedrivenwithacertainamountofwilledaggressionsothatatightcurvewasalmostaninsulttothem,perchedhighabovetheordinaryworldofmuddleandcompromise.Ibelievethesevehiclesalteredthoseinthemfortheworse,ascarsandmostespeciallythefour-by-fourtypedo,ofwhichwehavesomanyinSweden,andwhichareformetheverysymbolofaninhumancapitalism.

Andgiventhesemenwerealreadyaggressive,andwithouttheabilitytoempathisewithothers（themostimportanthumanquality,tomymind）,thenthepicturewasalreadylookingverygrimforHubert,andfortheResistanceboysinCampIV.

*

Itwasajourneyofsomefivekilometresfromthevillage.

HubertCrosmusthavebeenveryfrightenedasthetroop-carriersapproachedtheMasdesPinsonitssteepmountainside,theirenginesfumingandroaring,theirbulksendingoutsheetsofwaterwhenevertheyhitthelargepuddles.Therewasverylittlechanceforhimtoescape,despitehisintimateknowledgeoftheterrain;itisusuallymoredangeroustotrytoescape.Hehadnochoicebuttoobey.

Itwasnotonlyverycoldandwet,butmistywithit.Therain,soakingthenarrowvalleysfordays,hadturnedthemintodark,cloud-webbedgorges,almostAmazonianinappearance.Perhapstheothersinthevehicleweremakingjokesthat,knowingnoGerman,Hubertcouldn’tunderstand:

jokesabouthiswitheredhand,orhisblood-drainedface,orthetannerysmellonhisclothes,orthelookhehadabouthim（intheireyes）ofasimplepeasant.Trappedunderthevehicle’starpinadarkfugofwetcollarsandsoakingboots,squeezedbetweenthoselonggreywintercagoulsandtheirhard-eyedowners,joltedandswayedbytheviolentmovementofthevehicleandwithagunpointedathisbelly,Hubertwouldhavebeenvisiblyshivering,ofthatIaminnodoubt.

Atsomepoint–probablywhenthewindingpathuptothemasleftthemaintrack–theconvoystoppedandmenpouredout,runningandcrouchingasinallthewarfilmsordocumentariesyouhaveeverseen,theirimpermeablehoodsupagainsttherainsothat,inthemist,theymighthavebeenspectres,ormadmonks.

Hubertwasforcedtorunwiththem,hishairstreaming.IknowthisbecauseIhaveinterviewedoneofthosepresent,livingcomfortablyinavillagenearDüsseldorfuntilhisdeathin2001.Hebarelyrememberedtheincident,Ihavetosay,butwasinnodoubtthatHubertwouldnothavebeentreatedwithmuch–‘patience’,wasthewordheused,asheservedmemorecoffeewithanelderly,mottledhand,hiswifehoveringwiththehazelnutbuttercreamtorte.

Well,ifouryounghostagewasshowingextremenervousness,explainedtheformerSSsoldierinasimpleGermanIcouldunderstand,thatwouldhavemadethingsworse:

nervesarenotonlyinfectiousbutsomethingtobedespised,somethingthatawakenstheweaknessinoneself（theweaknessthatwasinthesemenespecially,beingthehiddenshadowofthebully–althoughmyowninformantwasthinandelderlyandnothinglikeabully,apartfromacertainobstreperousnessandawayofcuttingthedelicioustortetohisadvantage）.

Whichiswhytheycouldshootinnocentpeople–evensmallchildrenandoldwomen–incoldblood.SomeoftheseverymensittingwithHuberthadalreadydoneso,mostlikely–ifnotinFrancetheninYugoslavia,wherethisparticularSSdivisionhadgobbledupshawledpeasantsandtheirsimple,thatchedhomesforbreakfast,lunchandsupper.

Sowhenthevehiclesstoppedatthebeginningofthepathandthetroopsbegantofanoutuptheflankofthewoodedmountain,wipingtherainfromtheirfacesandwonderingwhenthefarmhousewouldcomeintoview,Hubertwouldhavebeengrippedbyafirmhandincasehetriedtoflee.Itwasalwayspossible,afterall,thathehadmisledthem,thathehadbroughtthemsomewhereharmless,wastingmoreoftheirprecioustime!

Wherewasthisfarmhouse,anyway?

Thenitcameintoviewthroughthetrees:

big-stoned,tiny-windowed,addedtooverunrecordedgenerationssothatitresembledanuntidyaccumulationofrocks.

Itwasempty.

Ithadbeenempty,purelycoincidentally,fortwodays.Theboyswereonamissionelsewhere.Theonlytraceofthemwasbedsofbrackenintheupperrooms;peelingsofvegetables;alingeringsmellofroastedchestnuts;afewcharredlogsinthevastfireplace.（Theyweretoreturntwodayslater,totheblackenedmesstheSShadmadeoftheplace.）

Huberthadnoideathefarmhousewouldbeempty.Neitherdidheknowwhetheritwasanactivecamp（theResistancekeptmovingcamps,anyway）oranoccasionalhideout.Hehadnotvolunteeredforthistask,hehadbeenvolunteeredbysomeoneelsepresentinthecafé.Itisnottrue,asseveralinthevillagehaverelatedtome,thathewasatfirsttakenawaytothecommandeeredpolicestationandbeatenwithfistsuntilheagreedtoshowthem.Thatisaversionspunfrommisunderstandingorforgetfulness,andwhichbreedsevenmoredistortedversions,mostlyrelatedbythosetooyoungtohavebeenthereatallduringthewar.

Whathadhappenedwasthis:

theGermanshadburstintothecafé,theroomhadfallensilent,theSSofficerhaddemandedaguidetoshowthemthequickestwaytotheMasdesPins（thereweremanyobscurefarmhouseshiddeninthehills,thiswasonlysensible）;andafterabriefpause,brokenonlybytheofficerthreateningterriblereprisals,oneofthemeninthecaféturnedhisheadtowardsHubertatthebarandsaid,‘Hubert?

’

Justthat.Nothingmore.Itwasnotpremeditated.Itwasnottheproductof