518 统练作文讲评汕头二模等组题 2.docx
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518统练作文讲评汕头二模等组题2
第一节xie基础写作(汕头市金山中学2012-13学年第一学期期中考试)
你叫李华,你的英国笔友John来信说假期要来中国,在你所在的城市逗留十天,希望你给安排一下他的活动。
你刚好要参加志愿者工作,很想邀请他参加,理由如下:
1.志愿者工作可以帮助有困难的人,将使他的中国之行更加有意义;
2.比起去景点观光,志愿者工作不但能更深入到普通民众的生活,而且有助于了解当地的社会风俗。
【写作内容】
根据以上信息,给John写一封回信,说服他一起参加志愿者活动。
信的开头和结尾已经为你写好。
请在信中包括以下内容:
1.告诉John你的假期计划并邀请他共同参与;
2.陈述以上两条理由;
3.建议John加入你们,并表示等待他的答复。
【写作要求】
1.只能使用5个句子表达上述全部内容;2.文中不能出现真实姓名和学校名称。
DearJohn,
I’mpleasedtohearthatyouwillcometoChinathisvacation.
…
Bestwishes,
Yours,
LiHua
参考范文:
DearJohn,
I’mpleasedtohearthatyouwillcometoChinathisvacation.AsI’mgoingtoparticipateinvolunteerworkthisvacation,Ihopethatyouwilljoinus.AsfarasI’mconcerned,thevolunteerwork,givingyouanopportunitytohelppeopleinneed,willaddtothesignificancetoyourtriptoChina.Comparedwithgoingsightseeing,workingasavolunteerwillenableyoutogodeeperintoordinarypeople’slife.Inthemeanwhile,italsowillhelpyouknowaboutthelocalcustoms.Thus,IreallyhopeyoucanjoinusandI’mlookingforwardtoyourreply.
Bestwishes,
Yours,
LiHua
普遍问题:
1.work(工作):
不可数名词
2.join的用法:
1)称为...的一员;参加,加入join(anorganization,e.g.thearmy,aclub,theparty,acompany,…)
2)加入到某人之中;与某人一道去joinsb.(indoingsth./forsth.)
3)参加活动joinin(anactivity)
例句:
1)I’vejoinedthecarclub.
2)--Willyoujoinusforlunch?
–DoyoumindifIjoinyou?
I’msureyou’llalljoinmeinwishingthemaveryhappymarriage.
3)Shelistensbutsheneverjoinsinthediscussion.
3.suggest的用法:
1)suggestdoingsth.
2)suggest(that)sb.(should)dosth.
例句:
Isuggestgoingtherebyair.
Isuggestwegotherebyair.
4.hope的用法:
1)hopetodosth.
2)hope+that从句
例句:
1)Wehopetoarrivearoundtwoo’clock.
2)Let’shopewecanfindaparkingspace.
5.Comparedwithgoingsightseeing,doingthevoluntaryworkwillbringusmorebenefits.
6.句子的(逻辑)主语是什么?
*句子中出现多个不同的动词,要注意这些动词的逻辑主语是否正确!
错误的例子:
1)Comparedwithgoingsightseeing,volunteerworknotonlycaninvolveinordinarypeople’slifebutalsocanlearnmoreaboutthesocialtraditions.
2)Besides,comparedwithgoingsightseeing,thevoluntaryworkisabletoconnectyouwiththelocalpeopleandknowmoreabouttheirlife.
3)Moreimportantly,beingavolunteercannotonlygettoknowthe…butalsohelpyourealizethe…
正确的例子:
1)Beingavolunteer,youcannotonlygetclosertothe…butalsogettoknowthe…
2)Ifyoujoininthevoluntarywork,notonlycanyoulearnmoreaboutthelifeofordinarypeople,butyoucanalsolearnaboutthelocalcustoms.
3)Thevolunteerworkcannotonlymakeitpossibleforyoutoknowbetteraboutthenormalpeople’slifebutalsohelpyouknowthelocalcustomswell.
7.because从句:
不能单独成句!
1)IwasabsentfromschoolyesterdaybecauseIwassick.
2)BecauseIwassick,Iwasabsentfromschoolyesterday.
JustbecauseIdon’tcomplain,peoplethinkIamsatisfied.
好句子:
1.I’dliketotellyouthatIamgoingtobeavolunteerthisvacationandIhopeyoucanjoinme.
Workingasavolunteer,youcanhelpalotofpeoplewhoarefacedwithdifficulty,whichmakesyourtripmoremeaningful.
2.IsuggestyoujoinusandI’mlookingforwardtoyouranswer.
3.Duringthework,wenotonlycanhelppeopleinneed,butalsocanknowmoreaboutthelocaltraditionsandlife.
第二节读写任务(2013揭阳二模)
阅读下面的短文,然后按要求写一篇150字左右的英语短文。
MayorBloomberghasbeenthemayorofNewYorkCityfornearlynineyears,butfortenyearshehasbeenwearingthesameshoes.Thisisreallyraretobeseenonabillionaire.
“Themayorownstwopairsofworkshoes,”saidthespokesman.“Onedayhe’llwearone,thenexttheother.Whentheygotworndown,hehasthemrepaired.Hecouldbuyanyshoeshewanted,buthesayssincetheyarecomfortable,andtheywork,there’snoneedforanewpair.”Accordingtothespokesman,themayorsavesinhisfootwearandhealsokeepsitupinhispersonalaswellasgovernmentalfinance.“Whenhebuysacupofcoffee,hechoosesthesmallestsize.Hebuysonlywhatheneeds.”
SuchisthemayorofNewYorkCity,whocareslittleabouthisshoes,avoidswastingmoneyandfocuseshisattentiononhisworkandhispeopleinthecity.
Butwhataboutourfellowstudentsnowadays?
Somewearsuperexpensiveclothesandshoes;besides,theybuyasmanyaspossible,farmorethantwopairs.Theyalwayswantthelatest,thenewestandthrowtheoldonesawaythoughtheyhaven’twornthemformanytimes.
【写作内容】
1.以约30个词概括以上短文的内容。
2.以约120个词就“勤俭节约”这一主题发表你的感想和看法,内容包括:
(1)给出你对这位市长的评价;
(2)举一个你尊敬的人勤俭节约的例子,说明他对你的影响;
(3)列举你生活中浪费的坏习惯并说说你勤俭节约的决心。
【写作要求】
1.作文中可以使用亲身经历或虚构的故事,也可以参照阅读材料的内容,但不得直接引用原文中的句子;
2.作文中不能出现真实姓名和学校名称。
【评分标准】概括准确,语言规范内容合适,语篇连贯。
参考词汇:
节俭的provident/thrifty
一.Summary部分:
●两个要点
范文:
TheauthorintroducestousthemayorofNewYorkCity,amanwhoisrichbutprovident.Theauthoralsopointsoutnowadayssomestudentshavethehabitofwastingthings.
Summary部分的普遍问题:
1.两个要点信息的处理:
平行?
次要?
几个不恰当处理的例子:
(1)把当今学生的行为写成是次要的信息
1)MayorBloomberghasbeenwearingthesameshoesfortenyears.Heavoidswastingmoneyandpayshisattentiontohiscity.Whathehasdoneisverydifferentfromthestudentstoday.
2)MayorBloombergisthemayorofNewYorkCity,whoisprovidentinhispersonalandgovernmentfinance.Themayorbehavesdifferentlyfromthefellowstudents,whocausemuchwasteinbuyingunnecessarythings.
3)MayorBloomberg,themayorofNewYork,aprovidentmanwearsonlytwoshoesfor10year.Heavoidswastingmoneyandfocusesonhisworkunlikeourfellowstudentswhoalwaysbuyexpensivethings.
4)Unlikethestudentsnowadayswhospendmuchmoneyinwearing,MayorBloomberghasbeenwearingthesameshoesformanyyears.Heavoidswastingmoneyinhispersonalaswellasgovernmentalfinance.
(2)把市长的“节俭”写成是次要的信息
5)MayorBloomberg,themayorofNewYorkCity,whocareslittleabouthispersonallifetosavemoney,payshisattentiononhisworkandhispeopleinthecity.Whilethefellowstudentsareonthecontrary.
2.用什么时态?
Hehasbeenwearingthesameshoesfortenyears.
Hefocusesonhiswork.
*尚健在的人:
现在时
*已故去的人:
过去时
3.有从句,没有主句
错:
ThemayorofNewYorkCity,Bloombery,whowasprovidentinhislife.
对:
ThemayorofNewYorkCity,Bloombery,wasprovidentinhislife.
4.while的用法
二.正文部分:
(1)给出你对这位市长的评价;
(2)举一个你尊敬的人勤俭节约的例子,说明他对你的影响;
(3)列举你生活中浪费的坏习惯并说说你勤俭节约的决心。
审题:
文章的内容和结构:
这位市长……(作为一位亿万富翁和一市之长,勤俭节约、一心为公,值得尊敬,值得学习。
)
我的……也是这样一位勤俭节约/值得尊敬的人。
TA……(他/她的一些勤俭节约的做法/事例)。
TA的勤俭深深地影响了我……(我认识到…/我也怎样做了)。
然而,我还有一些浪费的坏习惯:
我……。
现在我决心……(向他们学习,做一个勤俭节约的人,在日常生活中,……)。
问题:
●什么是“勤俭节约”?
写什么样的事例才能表现这个人的勤俭节约?
●写什么人:
身边的人?
名人或伟人?
●写什么样的例子:
1)这个人平常的做法?
这个人某次的例子?
2)怎样的例子才令人信服?
---不要写不符合生活情理的例子,或者太过于夸张的例子。
1.写名人或伟人的:
孙中山、周恩来、邓小平、郭明义……
例1:
DrSunYat-sen,fatherofChina,isoneofthepersonsthatIrespectmost.Hewascalled“BuYi”presidentbecausehewasprovident.Asapresident,heworethesameclothesandatethesamefoodastheordinarypeopledidatthattime.Andhewasopposedtowasting.Thoughasapresident,hecouldenjoyhisprivilegesbuthedidn’t.It’shisprovidencethatimpressesmemost.Hisstoryencouragesmetobeprovidentandtrymybesttoavoidwasting,suchasbuyingthethingsthatIreallyneedbutnotjustforfun.
例2:
Whenitcomestoprovidence,Ican’thelpthinkingofmymodel---GuoMingyi.Heisanordinaryworker,buthetriestosavemoneyandhelpothersinneedheartandsoul.Thoughhedoesn’thaveahighsalary,hesupportsseveralpoorfamilieswithhisownmoney.Asforhimself,helivesasimpleandhardlife.Heneverwastesacoinandhealwayswearsthesameuniform.I’mdeeplymovedbyhisprovidence,andIhavedecidedtofollowhimandneverwastemoney.
例3:
WhenwerefertothenameBillGates,thereisnodenyingthefactthatheistherichestmaninUSA.Buttooursurprise,heneverownsapersonalhelicopterorbuysanyguest’sticket.Instead,healwaysbuysanordinaryplaneticketwhentravellingonbusiness.Hehasleftmeadeepimpression,andIconsiderhimamymodelnottocauseanyunnecessarywaste.BillandBloombergcouldevenkeepupsaving,whyshouldwestudentswastetoomuchwithoutearningeverything?
2.写身边的家人或朋友的:
例4:
Themayorremindsmeofmyuncle,whoisaprovidentmantoo.Myunclehasasuccessfulbusinessandheisamillionaire.Thoughhehassomuchmoney,heneverwastes.Hewearstheordinaryshoesanddrivesanordinarycar.SinceIwasyoung,myunclehastaughtmenottowastemoneyonwhatIdon’treallyneedandIkeephiswordsinmindeversince.
例5:
Thestoryremindsmeofoneofmyfriends.Unlikemyotherfriendswhoalwayswearfashionableclothes,hewearshisclotheswhichlooksoordinary.Andhedoesn’tchangehisclothestoooftenbecausehethinksthatheonlyneedstobuynewclotheswhenheisreallyinneedofthem.IammovedbyhimsoIregardhimasamodel.Gradually,Ibecomeaprovidentpersontoo.
例6:
Inmylife,mymother,whoisalwaysprovidentandneverwastesmoney,hasabiginfluenceonme.OnceIwasgoingtothrowawaysomeofmyoldclothes,whichIhadn’twornformanytimes,justbecausetheyhadbeenoutoffashion.Whenmymotherknewthis,shecriticizedmeandtoldmethatIwasluckbecausemanychildrenintheworldhadnowarmclothestowear,soIshouldlearntobeprovident.Hearingmymother’swordsandthinkingthatsheneverthrowsawayanythingthatcanbeused,Iimmediatelyrealizedmymistakeandmadeupmymindtobethrifty.
例7:
Sodoesmymother.Sheneverspendsextramoneyonherselfsothatsheneverownssomethingotherwomenhave.Shewillsowbrokenclothesiftheyarestillabletobeworn.Andshewillkeeptheleftfoodifitisunabletobeeatenatthattime.Andshealways